Reality Check



Disclaimer: I don't own ALIAS, and after the whole "Vaughn might have died" finale, I'm a little upset that JJ does!!!



I don't like to cuss, but I know the characters do, so I've put the first letter and little stars, juvenile I know…GET OVER IT!!!!



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--- "I've waited almost thirty years for this…"

"Mom!?!"---

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Mental overload, emotional overload.



My sanity is sinking! The chaos is closing in around me! I'm drowning, I actually feel myself drowning!



Vaughn… Vaughn drowned, right in front of my eyes, why!?! Why did he do that? What the H*** was he thinking? About me… he was thinking about me, he always does! And how do I repay him!?! I don't, I just watch as he drowns… I just sit and watch as my lifeline fades into the Abyss, how ironic…



"Sydney?"



The sound of concern in "my mother's" voice brought me back to reality, that and an up chuck reflex! I watch as she places a hand on my shoulder in an attempt to connect with me, to bring me back to the land of the living. This wasn't the reaction I had hoped for, longed for. I wanted to be in control of the situation, to be the interrogator, not the interrogatee. Alas, this is my reality.



Growling, I whisper in disgust, "Don't touch me!"



My voice cracks, and then the sobs and screams come like tidal waves, each taking their turn. I've earned this, I've gone without a mother for almost 20 years! I've been deprived, deprived of my God-given right to yell at my mother, I 'm going to make up for it now. I may not get answers, but she'll know what she's done, even if she doesn't give a d***!



"If you cared so much why did you wait? Wait, I know why, because you DIDN'T care, you're not capable of caring, caring would require a heart, something you couldn't possibly have, seeing as how you are SATAN himself!!!"



Sob…



"The Man," perfect cover! At least THAT is truthful!"



Sob… I'm having flashbacks from the FBI tribunal interrogation, I've got to top that!



"You ruined MY LIFE, my childhood! I took ballet because of YOU, 12 years of TORTURE in those stupid toes shoes!!! Not to mention I'm slaving away in more school than any person should have to endure, just because YOU were a professor, so of course, STUPID SYDNEY, has to be one too!!!"



Sob, and a huge sigh, my energy is depleting, I should have eaten! But I'm not through, despite the fact that my body is now violently shaking, and a mixture of tears and snot has completely covered my face, I go on.



"Everyone who's ever been real in my life, I've lost because of you! Why don't you just kill me, I'm already dead, there's nothing for me…NOTHING!"



I raise my eyes to challenge her, but they feel as though they will jump right out of my head when that psycho oriental guy walks into the room. I remember him, how could I forget!?! My mouth starts to hurt, as well as my heart when I realize that he works for her, and she knows exactly what he put me through. Any hope I had that she had even the smallest piece of a heart, left when he walked in.



"Gee, MOM, trying to make up for not being there to take me to the dentist!?!" I ask sarcastically, while trying to regain my composure enough to see what is in his little black box.



Oh, big shocker, a super sized needle, if I'm lucky it's a permanent painkiller, but then again I've never been THAT lucky! I'm still shaking uncontrollably as he walks over and gently injects me with the mystery juice, "A little more customer friendly with the boss in the room, aren't ya!?!"



He makes the mistake of mockingly smiling at me, so of course I have to spit in his face, "You need to moist-your-eyes!" I think I have probably gone insane as I giggle at my own little American culture joke.



I feel a since of victory as he backs away, and fights to control himself.



"Sydney, I realize you have lots of questions, and there will be plenty of time for that, but you've had an exhausting day, so we'll talk after you get some rest."



What a walking oxymoron, she looks and acts like Satan, but talks like a saint!



"Kind'a hard to rest with these on," I say while attempting to raise my wrists shackled in chains.



I hear a snicker from behind her. "Like mother, like daughter, so they say!"



Sark's face comes into view just as mine goes blank.



TBC