Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ, Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging, by Louise Rennison, or any of either's characters. Please do not sue me. I don't have any money and I'm only 13 for Christ's sake.
Monday august 24th
My brother Goka came in and snuggled into bed with ma while saying, "Hahahahahahahaha!" for so long that I had to get up. He's nice, but a bit smelly. At least he likes me and doesn't mind if I have a sense of humor.
7:00 p.m.
Jackie and Megan called from a phone booth. They took turns speaking in French accents. We're going for a mystery walk tomorrow. Or La Marché avec Mystery.
10:30 p.m.
I have put one a facemask made from egg yolk, just in case we see some hot guys on our walk.
Tuesday august 25th
9:00 a.m.
I woke up and I thought my face was paralyzed. I must have fallen asleep with the facemask on when I was reading. I don't think I'll go to bed early again, it makes my eyes all puffy.
11:00 a.m.
I arranged to rendezvous with Jackie and Megan at the Whiteleys so that we can start La Marché avec Mystery. We agreed to dress 'sports casual' so I'm wearing ski trousers, ankle boots, and a black top with a turtleneck, and a PVC jacket. I'm going for the young Brigitte Bardot look which is a shame because a) I look nothing like her and b) I haven't got blond hair, which is, as we all know, her trademark. I would have blond hair if I was aloud, but the parents won't let me.
I said to mom, "I'm going to dye my hair blond, what product do you recommend?"
She just ignored me, and went on dressing Goka. But when I told Dad he went ballistic.
"You're fourteen years old. You've only had that hair for fourteen years and you want to change it already? How bored are you going to be with it by the time you're thirty? What color will it be by then?"
Noon
On La Marché avec Mystery, we walked up and down the high street, only speaking French. This really hot guy came along, and Jackie and Megan wouldn't go up to him, but I did.
I'm not sure why but I developed a limp as well as being French.
He had really nice eyes. . . he must have been about nineteen. Anyway I hobbled up to him and said, "Excusez-moi. Je suis francaise. Je ne parle pas l'anglais. Parlez-vous francais?"
Fortunately he looked puzzled, but it made him look very cute. I pouted my mouth a bit. Cindy Crawford said that if you put your tongue behind you back teeth when you smile, it makes your smile really sexy. It also makes it impossible to talk though unless you like sounding loony.
Anyway, he said," Are you lost? I don't speak French."
I managed to look puzzled (and pouty). "Au secours, monsieur," I breathed.
He grabbed my arm gently and said, "Look don't be frightened. Come with me."
Megan and Jackie looked amazed: He was extremely hot and he was taking me somewhere. I limped along attractively by his side. Not for very long though, just into a French patisserie where the lady behind the counter was French.
8:00 p.m.
The French woman talked to me for quite some time. I nodded for as long as possible, then just ran out of the shop and into the street. I passed the hot guy who looked surprised that my limp had recovered so quickly.
I really will have to dye my hair now if I ever want to go anywhere in this town again.
Wednesday august 26th
11:00 a.m.
I have no friends. Not one friend. No one ever calls and no one ever comes over. Mom and Dad have gone to work, and Goka is at preschool. I may as well be dead.
Noon
I wonder if anyone would care if I was dead. Would anyone go to my funeral. Mom and Dad would have to. After all it's mostly their fault if I was depressed enough to commit suicide.
Why can't I have a normal family like Jackie or Megan? They've got normal brothers and sisters. Why can't Dad be a real dad? I don't mean I want to be an old fashioned woman --- you know all lacy and the man is all tight-lipped and never says anything even if he has got a brain tumor. I want my boyfriend (provided I'm not a lesbian) to be emotional. . . but only about me. I want him to be like Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. Anyway, I'll never have a boyfriend because I am too ugly.
2:00 p.m.
I was looking through the old family albums, and I wasn't surprised at how ugly I am.
10:00 p.m.
Goka has woken up and he insists on sleeping with me, in my bed. It's quite nice, although he does smell a bit like a hamster.
Midnight
The tunnel-of-love dream I just had where this gorgeous guy is carrying me through the warm waters of the caribbean, turns out to be Goka's wet p.j.'s
I changed the bed. Goka was not bothered a bit and he slapped my hand and called me "bad boy" when I was changing his pajamas.
Thursday august 27th
11:00 a.m.
I've starting worrying about what I'm going to wear on the first day back at school. It's only 11 days away now.
I hate my eyebrows. I say eyebrows but what I really mean is just one eyebrow all the way across my forehead. I might have to do some major plucking if I can find mom's tweezers. She hides things from me because she says I never replace things. I'll have to rummage around in her bedroom.
2:00 p.m.
I found the tweezers eventually in Dad's tie drawer. I did find something strange in the tie door along with the tweezers. It was this sort of apron thing in a strange box. I really hope my Dad is not a transvestite. It would be more than I could stand if I had to "understand" his feminine side.
God its really painful plucking. I have to lie down every once and awhile because its making my eyes water like mad.
2:30 p.m.
I've given up plucking, I'll just use Dads razor.
4:00 p.m.
It's sharper than I thought. It's taken off a lot of hair in just one stroke. I'll have to even it out now.
6:00 p.m.
Mom nearly dropped Goka when she saw me. Her exact words were,
"What in the world have you done to yourself, you stupid girl?"
God I hate parents! Me stupid?!?! They're so stupid.
7:00 p.m.
When Dad got home I could here them talking about me.
"Mumble mumble. . . she looks like. . . mumble mumble," from mom, then I heard Dad, "She WHAT??? Well. . . mumble. . . mumble. . . grumble. . ." Stamp, stamp, stamp, stamp, bang on the door.
"Pan, what have you done now?"
I shouted from under the blanket, "At least I'm a REAL woman!!!"
"What the heck is that supposed to mean?"
10:00 p.m.
Maybe they'll grow back overnight. How long does it take for eyebrows to grow back?
So uh. . . Yeah thats Chapter 2. What else can I say?
Ruka
P.S. thanks to-
Ryojen Maxwell- ^.^ You were the first one to read AND review my story. Thanks. . .
Yeah, I know its weird but who cares? So am I. Besides, its not exactly my story, so I can't take all the credit.
Kitar- Well you were the first person that reviewed that really counts. I didn't have to tell you to read it. I don't even know you. I'm glad you like it. By the way. I couldn't pronounce the title at first either.
Damsalndistress-asif- Errrrrr. . . Shut Up!!! Not Kofi!!! I rather be with Steven than Kofi! God Eric (both of them) are such baka's. God I wish he could have stopped flirting with Lexi and started working. It's too bad you can't go see Star Wars with us. Oh well, life goes on. . . ibbean, turns out to be Goka's wet p.j.'s
Monday august 24th
My brother Goka came in and snuggled into bed with ma while saying, "Hahahahahahahaha!" for so long that I had to get up. He's nice, but a bit smelly. At least he likes me and doesn't mind if I have a sense of humor.
7:00 p.m.
Jackie and Megan called from a phone booth. They took turns speaking in French accents. We're going for a mystery walk tomorrow. Or La Marché avec Mystery.
10:30 p.m.
I have put one a facemask made from egg yolk, just in case we see some hot guys on our walk.
Tuesday august 25th
9:00 a.m.
I woke up and I thought my face was paralyzed. I must have fallen asleep with the facemask on when I was reading. I don't think I'll go to bed early again, it makes my eyes all puffy.
11:00 a.m.
I arranged to rendezvous with Jackie and Megan at the Whiteleys so that we can start La Marché avec Mystery. We agreed to dress 'sports casual' so I'm wearing ski trousers, ankle boots, and a black top with a turtleneck, and a PVC jacket. I'm going for the young Brigitte Bardot look which is a shame because a) I look nothing like her and b) I haven't got blond hair, which is, as we all know, her trademark. I would have blond hair if I was aloud, but the parents won't let me.
I said to mom, "I'm going to dye my hair blond, what product do you recommend?"
She just ignored me, and went on dressing Goka. But when I told Dad he went ballistic.
"You're fourteen years old. You've only had that hair for fourteen years and you want to change it already? How bored are you going to be with it by the time you're thirty? What color will it be by then?"
Noon
On La Marché avec Mystery, we walked up and down the high street, only speaking French. This really hot guy came along, and Jackie and Megan wouldn't go up to him, but I did.
I'm not sure why but I developed a limp as well as being French.
He had really nice eyes. . . he must have been about nineteen. Anyway I hobbled up to him and said, "Excusez-moi. Je suis francaise. Je ne parle pas l'anglais. Parlez-vous francais?"
Fortunately he looked puzzled, but it made him look very cute. I pouted my mouth a bit. Cindy Crawford said that if you put your tongue behind you back teeth when you smile, it makes your smile really sexy. It also makes it impossible to talk though unless you like sounding loony.
Anyway, he said," Are you lost? I don't speak French."
I managed to look puzzled (and pouty). "Au secours, monsieur," I breathed.
He grabbed my arm gently and said, "Look don't be frightened. Come with me."
Megan and Jackie looked amazed: He was extremely hot and he was taking me somewhere. I limped along attractively by his side. Not for very long though, just into a French patisserie where the lady behind the counter was French.
8:00 p.m.
The French woman talked to me for quite some time. I nodded for as long as possible, then just ran out of the shop and into the street. I passed the hot guy who looked surprised that my limp had recovered so quickly.
I really will have to dye my hair now if I ever want to go anywhere in this town again.
Wednesday august 26th
11:00 a.m.
I have no friends. Not one friend. No one ever calls and no one ever comes over. Mom and Dad have gone to work, and Goka is at preschool. I may as well be dead.
Noon
I wonder if anyone would care if I was dead. Would anyone go to my funeral. Mom and Dad would have to. After all it's mostly their fault if I was depressed enough to commit suicide.
Why can't I have a normal family like Jackie or Megan? They've got normal brothers and sisters. Why can't Dad be a real dad? I don't mean I want to be an old fashioned woman --- you know all lacy and the man is all tight-lipped and never says anything even if he has got a brain tumor. I want my boyfriend (provided I'm not a lesbian) to be emotional. . . but only about me. I want him to be like Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. Anyway, I'll never have a boyfriend because I am too ugly.
2:00 p.m.
I was looking through the old family albums, and I wasn't surprised at how ugly I am.
10:00 p.m.
Goka has woken up and he insists on sleeping with me, in my bed. It's quite nice, although he does smell a bit like a hamster.
Midnight
The tunnel-of-love dream I just had where this gorgeous guy is carrying me through the warm waters of the caribbean, turns out to be Goka's wet p.j.'s
I changed the bed. Goka was not bothered a bit and he slapped my hand and called me "bad boy" when I was changing his pajamas.
Thursday august 27th
11:00 a.m.
I've starting worrying about what I'm going to wear on the first day back at school. It's only 11 days away now.
I hate my eyebrows. I say eyebrows but what I really mean is just one eyebrow all the way across my forehead. I might have to do some major plucking if I can find mom's tweezers. She hides things from me because she says I never replace things. I'll have to rummage around in her bedroom.
2:00 p.m.
I found the tweezers eventually in Dad's tie drawer. I did find something strange in the tie door along with the tweezers. It was this sort of apron thing in a strange box. I really hope my Dad is not a transvestite. It would be more than I could stand if I had to "understand" his feminine side.
God its really painful plucking. I have to lie down every once and awhile because its making my eyes water like mad.
2:30 p.m.
I've given up plucking, I'll just use Dads razor.
4:00 p.m.
It's sharper than I thought. It's taken off a lot of hair in just one stroke. I'll have to even it out now.
6:00 p.m.
Mom nearly dropped Goka when she saw me. Her exact words were,
"What in the world have you done to yourself, you stupid girl?"
God I hate parents! Me stupid?!?! They're so stupid.
7:00 p.m.
When Dad got home I could here them talking about me.
"Mumble mumble. . . she looks like. . . mumble mumble," from mom, then I heard Dad, "She WHAT??? Well. . . mumble. . . mumble. . . grumble. . ." Stamp, stamp, stamp, stamp, bang on the door.
"Pan, what have you done now?"
I shouted from under the blanket, "At least I'm a REAL woman!!!"
"What the heck is that supposed to mean?"
10:00 p.m.
Maybe they'll grow back overnight. How long does it take for eyebrows to grow back?
So uh. . . Yeah thats Chapter 2. What else can I say?
Ruka
P.S. thanks to-
Ryojen Maxwell- ^.^ You were the first one to read AND review my story. Thanks. . .
Yeah, I know its weird but who cares? So am I. Besides, its not exactly my story, so I can't take all the credit.
Kitar- Well you were the first person that reviewed that really counts. I didn't have to tell you to read it. I don't even know you. I'm glad you like it. By the way. I couldn't pronounce the title at first either.
Damsalndistress-asif- Errrrrr. . . Shut Up!!! Not Kofi!!! I rather be with Steven than Kofi! God Eric (both of them) are such baka's. God I wish he could have stopped flirting with Lexi and started working. It's too bad you can't go see Star Wars with us. Oh well, life goes on. . . ibbean, turns out to be Goka's wet p.j.'s
