You Wish! Productions presents...
The Price of Life
By: Blue Taboo
Chapter 3
Yeah, now that I've churned out another chapter of Cross (which I will re-format, so stop yelling about your aching eyes!) I can write this in peace, for a little while. Thank you to all the reviewers...you gave some awesome suggestions and I always like to hear them. Criticism is welcome and I'd love for you to pick on me a little more, especially on this one, since I plan to apply myself on it a little more in order to give it the originality all Eva fics deserve.
So...yeah...wake up time!
Shinji woke from a dreamless sleep...a rare, but pleasant occurrence for him. In the week or so it had been now since the Third Impact, he'd been haunted by its images, as if they weren't enough in happening only once. However, he had been thankful to have had a black, soothing sleep, the kind that restored energy, instead of taking it. Besides him, though still on the very edge of the bed, Asuka was still asleep, her features set in a slight frown, but only that of a person asleep. Shinji had noted in his life, when there were actually other people around, that no one ever smiled in his sleep.
The reality was still far from his grasp. Everyone was gone, except him,
Asuka, and the dog and possibly including the scattered wildlife that had
survived. He didn't know if they would ever come back.
Misato...Rei...Kensuke...Touji...all gone. His heart wouldn't accept it, and his mind was far from even considering the possibility. He wondered, maybe, if Rei could return at all. Maybe, if she could, so could Kaworu! It was far-fetched, but it was something to hope for. Rei...if she came back, maybe she would be as she was before, or the second one at least. That Rei had been human, but the third...he wasn't quite sure. The journey of the Rei Ayanami he'd known had been for humanity, he'd just never seen it...until she was gone.
And Kaworu...Maybe he would be free of his Angelic bonds, since this had
been the end of all ends. It was like the world had purged itself, spitting
souls back up as LCL and then allowing them to come back, little by little.
Kaworu had a soul, the purest one Shinji had ever known of any creature,
maybe...No, he couldn't think of maybes now. It was too early, too unknown.
Shinji had always been good at living in the here and now when he didn't
want to be hurt by past or future, and that was what he would do.
He got up as Asuka began to stir into wakefulness and went into the modest
kitchen, where he found Panda asleep on the cool tile. The dog woke, like
a light sleeper, as soon as the boy's footsteps echoed on the hard surface
and wagged his tail. He ran to the door of the stairs, with Shinji following
him, who understood what the action meant. He let the dog out so he could
go down into the open shop and outside to do his business. Shinji returned
to the kitchen and fished around in the cabinets, finding all that he needed
to make a small, mostly instant, but still filling breakfast.
Only when he went to the light the stove and came up without any results,
did he realize the natural gas line must've finally run out. They'd lacked
electricity, but he was quite amazed by the fact that the stove had still
been in working order. There must've been some kind of gas reservoir in
the lines, or maybe the supplier had been running on backup generators,
but it was gone now. They'd only had running water on a count of the store/home
had well water, not city, which had been a lucky break. He put back the
rice and soup mix he'd selected and looked for something that didn't require
cooking of any kind. He eventually found some cereal, which they'd just
have to eat without milk and prepared three bowls, hoping Panda wasn't too
picky about his food.
He heard Asuka get into the shower and decided to wait for her on breakfast.
He went down to the store area and found Panda sniffing around various spilled
merchandise.
"Hey boy," he called. The dog came to him and Shinji scratched
his ears. The boy got an idea and eventually joined the dog in his digging.
He soon found what he was looking for. Again he called for the Panda's attention,
this time with a whistle and the shaggy dog's eyes lit up as he gazed upon
the tennis ball the boy had found. Shinji threw it out the door and into
the broken, dusty street. The dog sprinted after it and his new master couldn't
help but smile. This was simple. This was easy. This was what Ikari Shinji
had missed most about his life before Eva. This kind of simple joy...it
was something hard to come by in the eternal struggle of an adolescent,
let alone one who carried the very weight of the world on his shoulders.
And as horribly as it had all ended, it was over--for good.
He walked outside to meet the eager animal, ball retrieved. "Good boy,"
he praised, thinking back to the time when such praise had meant so much
to him. No more...It was all back to the simple things now. Just surviving.
He threw the ball again, and again, and again--boy and dog both reveling
in the pure amusement of it all. However, it couldn't last forever, so when
he guessed Asuka would be done with the shower, he didn't throw the ball
again, much to Panda's chagrin, but as soon as the word food escaped the
boy's lips, the dog understood perfectly.
Shinji had been good on his guess. Asuka was just stepping out of the bathroom,
looking ridiculous in the oversized clothes she wore, as they returned.
"Good morning," Shinji greeted cautiously, hoping that everything
would be okay again...or at least normal.
She hesitated, but less than he expected her to. "Uh...yeah. Same to
you. Is there any food around here?"
They ate pretty much in silence and left all the same. After a few steps
outside the store, Shinji stopped, the rest halting with him.
"Well? What is it?" Asuka demanded as she turned around.
"Where should we go?" he asked back.
"How should I know? Any place but here!"
He sighed. "I know that already...but which direction? Do you want
to stay by the ocean? Go further inland?"
"It doesn't really matter much, does it?"
No, no it didn't. It wasn't like there was much of anyone left to see, or
much of anywhere left to go, as far as they knew. However, things could
change, as Shinji realized only he probably knew. "Let's stick by the
coast a little, just so that we're not too far from it, just in case,"
he suggested.
"All right. We'll go north then."
And they did, leaving the ruined city that should've saved them from this
very reality with a few backward glances of longing. There, then, they had
had precious routine, even a shot at stability from day to day. Things were
predictable. No one had to pick a direction to walk. No one had to scavenge
for food. No one had to worry about such basic things. Those were provided
with a sickening ease and the complex was left to rule the mind. Somehow,
that was better than this. It was less urgent, less important, even if it
felt like the most prominent thing in the world at the time.
Now former Pilots Sohryu and Ikari, were left to learn how to survive at
the tender age of fifteen. Their friends would've laughed at the idea before,
Shinji and Asuka stuck together in a mystery desert wasteland with only
each other for company...and a dog. First, Shinji thought Touji would say,
they'd fight so much the dog would run away, then, Kensuke would add, they'd
fight SO much that they'd forget about food and Asuka would
end up using her demon powers to kill Shinji for meat. How far from it was
their situation now...
He took comfort in her presence and she in his. With everything that got
harder, thousands of other things got easier. There were no appearances
to keep up now, and as soon as they were ready, maybe they could be true
to each other for once. For now, though, they walked away from the sun...over
the mountains...away from the dreary relics of the past. Words were seldom
needed and seldom spoken. Shinji took to his and Panda's game again as they
walked, now about mid-morning, and threw the ball ahead a ways. Panda would
sprint for it, grab it in his jaws, and wait for them to catch up so the
ball could be thrown again. He never tired of it. Shinji wordlessly offered
the ball to Asuka for one last throw before what they had agreed was near
lunch time. Surprisingly, she took it and smiled slightly as the dog jumped
all over her when they caught up, his simplicity overwhelming her.
Shinji hadn't seen her smile like that in a long time. It was a rare smile
he'd only seen a few times before. Through the static of his comm monitor
when he pulled her out of the volcano...When she complemented him on his
cello playing...That little look he wasn't supposed to see after she said,
"Weren't you going to punish him?"...It was something to be treasured.
She caught him looking at her as she took back the ball. Their eyes met,
if only for a few moments, but she just refused to acknowledge it and looked
away again. He wasn't sure if he should be or not, but Shinji was just a
little worried.
They walked a little ways more to find shelter from the wind that was kicking
up around them, blowing the inescapable dust into their eyes and coating
their damp, exposed skin; hot from all the exercise. They slumped down on
a small ledge off the mountain path they'd been hiking that had a cliff
shooting straight up from it that kept the dust at bay. Shinji broke out
some crackers and jerky, as well as some much needed water for lunch. He
was more thirsty than hungry and decided to break the stillness of the day
as she ate.
"What do you miss the most?" It was a pretty bold question, but
he knew it would get her talking again. Even if she was yelling, it would
be good to hear her voice.
"That's too easy...People..." she told him through a mouthful.
"Besides people, what do you miss?"
She washed it down and paused for a minute. "I would say Eva, but I
finally realized that I hated life with it as much as I hated life without
it...but my mother was there..." she trailed off, "Oh! Why should
I tell you? You won't understand!"
He wanted to. "If it's about your mother, I know. Misato told me after
y-you disappeared. And if it's about your mother and Eva, I also know, at
least I think I do. I thought my mother was gone too, until the twelfth.
I felt her there, in the entry plug, before I-before I couldn't remember
anymore. We're very much the same..."
"We're very different," she retorted, "You just let yourself
be afraid. I fight it!"
"But you lost...everybody lost. It wasn't worth anything..." It
felt good to let her know how he felt about his decision, but all the emotion
came flooding up with the words. Tear stung at his eyes.
She stood and looked down at him shamefully. "Of course it was! Are
you stupid? Can't you see that it's not over yet! Somehow, you managed to
get a brain for a minute and stop all that crazy shit, but you don't even
know what you did, Shinji Ikari! If you can't even realize that, for once,
you did something good, something you should take pride in, then you truly
are a coward. You're afraid to be good!"
She was right, he resolved. He nodded and wiped his eyes.
"One day, when they all come back, they're gonna congratulate you and
you better take it. Congratulations, Baka, you brought the world back the
hard way!"
He looked up at her, pleading for her to stop. He wished now that he hadn't
even started to speak. He couldn't be afraid of this now...it was his decision,
as it was his decision for her to be the first one to come back, and stay
with him. Her words had cut deep with their truth, and now he felt it was
his turn. "I chose you, so why did you run away?"
She sunk back down next to him. "To be sure you did the right thing,
dummkopf..."
"It took you that long?"
"You're not one to talk..."
The silence returned once again and they resumed eating. Asuka calmly handed
a few pieces of jerky to Panda and scratched his ears. He made short work
of them and then laid down, his head across her lap. She smiled that beautiful,
purely genuine smile again, and this time, she made sure Shinji saw it.
"See, boy," he said quietly, even if she still heard, "She
can be really nice sometimes."
"There's times that require it. After all, we've been given a second
chance, we should use it well," she paused for a little while, stroking
the dog's dusty fur, then abruptly said, "How about this...No more
bullshit, Shinji. That's my first rule for the new world. From now on, you
say what you mean, and mean what you say."
He nodded. "I think that's fair."
"All right, then tell me something true."
It had to be said, and since they were bringing up her flight, he didn't
stop himself. "When I said I loved you...I meant it and I still mean
it."
She sighed. "When I ran away...I was scared by that, but I can learn
to live with it."
And then, she gave him the smile, instead of the dog.
He returned it with all his heart, knowing that it was pure, and...Simple.
Whoohoo~! And it's in my normal format so you an actaully read it this time! Now for the plug-a-thon! Mark the 17th on your calendars! That's You Wish! Productions first aniversary...and we've gto some great stuff planned for it. More art...special fics...possibly even another CG by yours truly. But, if you don't want to wait that long, check out darkscribes.org's new site design! It's kick ass! And Fanfic Yakuza has also moved to the DS server and gotten a makeover, so don't miss it! Yeah...now we actually plug the next chapter of this fic. Shinji and Asuka stuck all night in a sandstorm! Close spaces, awkward phrases, and of course...FAN SERVICE! I'm done now...
-Blue Taboo-
