You Wish! Productions presents…
The Price of Life
Chapter 4: Through the Hard Times
The little trio walked on until the sun began to set, reddening the land once more. They had come to a short stretch of flat land in-between mountain ranges, probably no more than a day's walk across. From there they could see the coast, with its waters still orange and chilling to look upon, knowing that the collective human consciousness still swam in those waves. A consciousness that they had rejected...a consciousness that had given them false dreams of an impossible reality. Shinji only needed one morning to find its utter falsity. He felt so much opportunity there, like one of those "choose your own ending" stories. Never in his life had he had that kind of freedom. He knew that he was creating this, since nothing was limiting him, only expanding his choices. He knew that it was simply not real…just too perfect.
The winds were picking up as the sun went down and the land seemed too open. They found some of what must've been a highway overpass that hadn't been buried by the dusts and sands yet and took refuge under it. In the last hour of their journey to it, it had been very hard to see with all the sand stinging their eyes. Overly large clothes had to be held to bodies and eyes shielded in vain hopes of keep out the tiny grains of dry dirt from entering moist and sensitive eyes. Their sanctuary piece of solid concrete was unique in its vertical structure, for it seemed that nothing could stand up to the fury of the winds and sands of this desert valley. Shinji began to wonder if the whole world was like this.
"If it's this bad tomorrow I say we just wait," Asuka suggested as she slumped against the slanted concrete that reached height only a little taller than her.
"Yeah, there's no point in moving in this if we don't have any place to go," Shinji agreed.
They dusted off their garments and supplies, or at least tried, but found it was hardly any use, since the sand had found its way into even the most sheltered places. Panda's black and white fur now had a tint of red from all the sand, as much as he tried to shake it out. He was content to stay in the little protected space, especially after he poked his head back out into the wind a few times. The two humans sat on the soft dust and leaned against their packs for a rest.
"Almost like going to the beach," Asuka mused as she observed their sand-covered state.
"What do you mean?" Shinji asked.
She picked a little handful of sand, relishing in the pleasant feel of it slipping through her fingers. It was nice enough when you could control it. "You know, like when you get out of the water and the sand sticks to you when you lay on it and it's impossible to get off."
"Oh. I guess I wouldn't know. I don't swim."
"Not even once?"
He then remembered the first rule of the new world. "Well, it's more like I can't swim."
She laughed, and he looked away. "You're fifteen years old and you still can't swim? Yet you can operate a huge biomechanical robot…Shinji…has anyone ever told you you're weird?" She said it chidingly, hoping to lighten the mood.
"It just never came up, that's all."
"So you never went to the beach when you were a kid?" she inquired, still playing with the sand.
"Once, but I didn't go anywhere near the water. Not that I'm afraid of the water or anything…I just didn't want to," he told her. "You know that feeling you get when you see other people doing something and you just don't feel like it? Besides, I was already interested in building a sand castle."
"I could see that," she laughed, "Little Shinji the architect. If this never happened, I bet you would've gone into something like that."
"Why do you think that?"
"Oh come on! Your math grades were more than good and you could always get the word problems. I could just see you designing new Eva models for NERV when you got too old to pilot. Head Engineer Ikari Shinji. You'd do well as an engineering major…"
He shrugged slightly, noticing that the sun was almost completely gone behind the western mountains they faced, seeing as the wind came off the coast to the east. "Maybe…Hey! I know you went to college and all, but what was your major?"
"They made me do a double major, so I had pretty much no life as a little kid. I did Japanese and Theoretical Physics, nothing that classified under fun or interesting. I didn't have much choice in the matter anyway. My father said that if he paid for it, he'd decide for me, since I was too little. I actually hated college…"
Shinji bit his lip, regretting that he'd even asked. "Oh…I'm sorry I brought it up."
"Don't be stupid. I was the one who brought it up. Besides, that was a long time ago."
"Not really."
"After you've been through what we've been through, Shinji, it's long enough."
"That's true," he paused, "Hey…um…are you hungry?"
"A little. Do we have anything left that we don't have to cook?" she inquired as she began to take a mental inventory.
"I think so. We should've just taken that kind of stuff instead. I kind of just assumed there'd be wood, you know?"
"I guess so," she agreed as she rummaged around in her dusty pack.
"I must've gotten it from Kensuke. I went camping with him once, kind of on accident."
She pulled out a very crushed-looking bag of chips. "Why?"
"It was before you got here. After the fourth Angel I decided that I didn't want to pilot, but I was stupid and just ran away one rainy day. I found Kensuke out in the rice paddies in the mountains outside the city and spent the night in his tent with him. That was the only time I'd ever gone camping."
She turned around holding the rest of the beef jerky and some rice crackers along with the chips. "This'll just have to do for now," she informed him. "You didn't really do much of anything when you were little, did you?"
"I guess not. I just went to school…and played my cello."
She had already broken into the food, and, judging by her pace, was more than just a little hungry. "So that's why you're so good," she commented through a mouthful.
"I'm not that great."
"You're pretty damn good compared to the average kid your age who decided to learn the cello. That's what happens when you start at something when you're young."
He shrugged, beginning to feel worn out from all the walking and the heat, despite the wind. Shinji put a mixed little pile of food out for Panda and the dog was anything but ungrateful. He wouldn't let the poor boy eat until he'd gotten the message across, mostly through nudging and a few licks, that he'd enjoyed his dinner.
"You should've had a dog too. Geez…you must've been such a deprived child," Asuka remarked.
"I could've had anything I wanted," Shinji told her as he gave the dog one last pat on the side, "But I never thought to ask."
"You were just that content with your sand castle?"
"Only because no one ever told me about surfing until I came here."
And it was true. Shinji had learned about much more than secret government agencies and giant robots when he came to Tokyo-3. He'd learned about things he never thought existed. He learned about a world outside his own…the sounds beyond the headphones. People, places, objects, activities...it was all new to him, like he'd been living locked in a proverbial closet of his own making all his life. Now those things had disappeared just as they'd come into view and he reached out for them. It was something akin to trying to walk to the horizon or the end of a rainbow. It simply didn't exist, no matter how fast you ran, but you could always see it. Now the rainbow was forever gone and night had made the whole world so black that no horizon could be seen. Shinji probably wouldn't get to experience all the things he'd missed, but at least he could laugh about it.
Asuka laughed with him. "Now that's something I can't see. Surfer Shinji…hah!"
"Heh…Oh well…"
They finished their little meal by the time to sun went down and Panda had already made himself a bed in the dust. The wind didn't appear to want to let up as the night came on, but the Children were caught unprepared by the sudden drop in temperature. After all, neither of them had lived in a desert wasteland before…
Asuka sat Indian style, her feet tucked under her legs for warmth. Her arms were inside the shirt, giving up on the minimal warmth offered by its short sleeves. Shinji was thankful for his tennis shoes, but cursed his ignorance once again at not bringing blankets. He'd thought that they'd only be extra weight. So much for eternal summer.
"It's not like we expected this, so quit blaming yourself!" Asuka demanded, but old habits die hard.
Eventually…it got to her. German winters were one thing, when she had a nice warm coat and other such necessities, but a desert night, when one had been sweating while merely standing still in the daylight hours and now sat shivering to death, were ridiculous. As unsorted as her feelings about the boy she'd been left with after the apocalypse, she rigidly got up from her solitary position and crawled over to him. Shinji had been looking up at the sand as it arched over the taller concrete slab in the wind, finding its strange movement interesting, when he suddenly felt her heat and weight leaning on him.
Asuka shivered as she looked up at him from her position curled up against his side. "Just for the record, this doesn't mean anything except that I am really cold right now. And if anything ever does mean anything…I'll warn you."
He almost laughed, but settled for a smirk. "I'll keep my ears open."
"I'm just cold."
"I know…then this doesn't mean anything either. I'm just cold too." He put his arm around her and she flinched at first, her shivering ceasing momentarily so that all her muscles could clench and get ready to fight, but she denied old instincts and accepted the help. At least it was better than nothing. Asuka resolved that, one of these days, she would figure out if anything would ever mean anything. Now was not the time though. She was tired and cold and mostly a mess in more ways than her dusty exterior. She still hadn't gotten over all the she'd seen during the Third Impact…and all that she'd learned. Eva was gone…as was her mother. The only warm arms that she would've gone to had it not come to this were those of her mother, but she'd always thought that she was forever lost. Her timing was cruel…finding her in Eva only as she was taken away. But she was too tired to think of such things…
…So tired that she fell asleep.
~$~$~$~
(Yes…that's my divider. Cross has crosses…Price of Life has dollar signs…I don't think you could do any better…so shut up!)
When she awoke again, it was still night, but a deafening howling ripped through the air and into her ears, making her almost want to scream as she came to consciousness again. Shinji woke with her and his head snapped up to Panda, who scrambled about in front of them, barking and howling with the wind. Their sheltered area had been reduced to almost nothing and deep piles of sand had accumulated where it ended. They were slowly but surely getting buried by the ever-changing sands of the post apocalyptic desert. Shinji slipped away from her quickly to look into the wind. Once he'd cleared the sand from his eyes he shouted to her, since there was no way they could talk normally over the dreadful crying of the winds, "I think it's going to fall over! The sand's piled up on top of it and I probably won't hold too long. We've got to go!"
"In this?!"
"We don't have any other choice!"
If the complex world of the city had limited Shinji's choices, the plain one of sheer survival made his past world look all too easy.
Asuka nodded and quickly got their precious few belongings together. She threw Shinji his pack and stood, readying herself for the wind.
Shinji went over to Panda to try to calm the frightened dog down. "Come on, boy. We've gotta go find another place to spend the night," he yelled as soothingly as possible for one to yell and patted the dog's sand-covered fur. The dog settled down for a little while, but then began to bark again, and this time, it wasn't at the wind. The concrete was starting to moan under the weight.
"Shit! Run!" Asuka commanded as she sped off into the sand.
Shinji then resorted to simply pulling the dog by his fur into the right direction as the pain of the overloaded concrete began to sound even louder than the wind. "Come on! Move! Please, boy! Move!"
"Just leave him!" she screamed from behind the veil of now gray sand.
She couldn't see if her plea came to late or not, but only that the concrete, in a horrid imitation of slow motion moaned once more and toppled with and earth-shaking thud onto that which felled it from its defiant position. It took her feet right out from under her and she didn't even know if she flew or not, but it seemed likely, as close as she was. She hit hard and the sand wasn't as soft as she'd wished it to be. The pain didn't matter though. Only one thing did. As soon as she landed, she was up again, pain ignored completely as well as anything and everything else.
"Shinji? Shinji!? SHINJI!?!" she cried out high above the sandstorm. With the slab now buried, there was no possible way for her to tell were she was, let alone anyone else. She would be lucky to see her hand in front of her voice. She ran frantically in circles, despite the wind, something much greater than stinging sand forming tears in her eyes. "SHINJI!!! Don't leave me! DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE ME HERE!"
No…he couldn't just go after she'd just found out he was there. He couldn't be taken away as easily as mama was. "SHINJI!" He was all she had left and all she would ever have. "SHINJI!" He told her that he loved her. "SHINJI!!" She wasn't worthy of anyone's love anymore. "SHINJI!!!" She had failed…failed him, humanity, and God himself. "SHINJI!?" He should've just killed her like he meant to. "SHINJI!!?" But he didn't…he offered her the ultimate mercy and the ultimate torture. He let her live, only to let her come to the realization that she needed him as much as he apparently needed her…all too late. "Please d-don't leave me…"
Asuka fell to her knees in the sand, sobbing. Her timing sucked. He was dead…godammit he was dead! What a mockery of mankind this was…to give them a second chance…yet no chance at all. He was just a child…and she now knew that she cared for him and loved him. No matter what, he was kind and considerate. Even until the end…the end…
…And now she was all alone…
She cried, her tears soaking into the sand that was the very death of any hope she had ever regained. Ashes to ashes…dust to dust.
Eventually her knees wouldn't even hold her anymore and Asuka sank to the ground, wishing for the sand to swallow her up to and erase the last trace of that pathetic thing called humanity from the dead world. Her arms flew out in front of her and it took her a moment, but she soon noticed that there was something warm touching her fingertips. Even as she looked up through the sand and the tears to see, that tiny glimmer of hope flaring once again, she heard barking in the distance. Panda's silhouette could be just barely made of from the moonlit sand as he ran. She reached out frantically and found a hand…a human hand…in the sand, right there in front of her.
She scrambled up to it and furiously began to dig out the rest. Shinji lay there unconscious under the sand and she cried out with joy and distress at the same time as Panda finally reached them, nudging the boy's body.
"Yes, yes!" she assured the dog, "You found him…we found him! Good boy! Good boy!" She sobbed as she said it, falling on top of Shinji.
Asuka then had to set such things aside and face the facts. She had to get him up. There was no way she could carry the boy, as fit as she was, and with his pack and the sandstorm as factors, the possibility wasn't even existent. "Come on, Shinji," she whispered over and over as she tried in vain to keep the sand off of his face. He wasn't injured that she could see, but he'd probably been very close to the slab when it fell, so he was a lot more likely to get hurt than she was. "Please…please…"
Panda sensed her urgency and kept nudging the boy's side.
"I'll promise you anything in the world if you'll just get up, Shinji! Wake up please!" she pleaded, holding his head in her hands.
"We've got to go! W-we've got to go…" she lapsed into tears again, logic going to waste by sheer force of nature.
It seemed like she sobbed against his chest forever, the sand a constant threat to a slow and painful end for the three of them. There was nothing she could do…but hope and pray.
Apparently, God decided that enough was enough…
"A-asuka…?"
She embraced the confused boy as soon as her name left his lips. "Don't you ever do that again!" she nearly screamed.
"Wha—?"
"Can you walk?"
"I think so."
She wiped the tears from her eyes. "Then…j-just get up. We have to get out of this!"
"Right."
~$~$~$~
She held on tight to his arm as she tried to keep against the wind. It direction now was constantly shifting and one couldn't help but think that they were just moving in circles. Every minute seemed like an hour, now that the adrenaline had worn off a little and the world became physical once again. She hurt all over from the fall and the sand stung many cuts that she couldn't see, only feel. Shinji was worse off, complaining of stomach pain, probably internal injuries, but they couldn't stop. When they saw the mountains again, Asuka thought it was just an illusion at first, but, no matter how many times she blinked, they were still right in front of her. As their fuzzy black shapes grew closer and more defined the wind began to die. Safety was near…
It was morning by the time they found the little crack in-between two rocks at the base of the mountains, just big enough for the three of them. By then, Shinji was leaning on Asuka and she was dragging their packs along, no longer caring if they got filled with sand. They collapsed into the crevice and took what must've been an hour just to breathe.
"W-why…were you crying so hard?" Shinji asked as he felt the warm black haze of oblivion fall on him again.
"Because…because I love you."
And there ends chapter four. I thought I'd try some action this time instead of boring you to death as usual. I think it's a nice change…but hey, it works. Comments, criticism, and love are all accepted here.
Thanks to pre-readers Lord Deathscythe, Random1377, and ChaosBurnFlame.
Visit You Wish! Productions at http://www.wbw.envy.nu/entry.html
-Blue Taboo-
