Disclaimer: We don't own the WWF or the movies The Scorpion King and Final Destination. Well that
was obvious, let's move on...
Pyper: LITA!!!!!! *Cries.*
Azrael: So she'll be out for six to nine months, huh? *Whistles.* Neck injuries can really be a bitch.
Pyper: Speaking of being out for a really long time, we're not dead. We've just been really preoccupied
with other things.
Azrael: Meaning we ran out of ideas and started slacking off.
Pyper: They didn't need to know that.
Azrael: I can't help it, I'm an honest person.
Pyper: *Mutters.* Yeah right.
Azrael: Here's our long overdue chapter. Enjoy.
IN-FLIGHT MOVIE
So much for the executive suite, let's head back to the main cabin.
"WHORE!"
"DICKHEAD!"
"CONCEITED MORON!"
"GREEDY BITCH!"
Hurricane winced with every insult thrown by the two blondes settled in the seats behind him. Jericho
and Trish had been yelling at each other for the past half-hour, first with quiet putdowns and insults
that had escalated into rude one or two-worders. He considered coming in between them. Then he
thought about it and decided against it. He did not want to have to face the wrath of those two.
But if anyone asked why he had kept quiet, he would reason that they needed to straighten out their
own differences without his help. Yeah, that sounded good.
He suddenly became aware of a presence at his shoulder. He turned to find Test reading over his
shoulder, although he immediately looked away the moment Hurricane did, trying to feign disinterest.
Hurricane sighed and shook his head.
"I gotta use the bathroom." RVD suddenly mumbled aloud. He fumbled around with his belt and slid it
off, then stood up to head for the john.
Michael Cole took his headphones off and turned to look at DDP. "Hey Page, I know this is a weird
question to ask, but have you noticed that Rob's been acting kind of funny since the plane took off?"
"In what way?" Page asked.
"Well, he's been all fidgety; drumming his fingers on the table, bouncing his leg up and down, looking
around all the time." Cole said. "What do you think?"
"Maybe he's just working out some stress." Page said. He flashed a smile. "And since it doesn't seem
to be a bad thing, then it's definitely a good thing."
Cole stifled a groan and went back to listening to the music.
Meanwhile, Rob had made his way to the back of the cabin to get to the restroom. He turned and
was about to go in when he bumped into someone that was obviously much larger than he was. "Ow!
What the…?"
"Hey, who is that?" a familiar voice asked.
Rob looked up. "Rikishi?" he asked. "What're you doing hogging up the entrance to the bathroom?"
The Phat Man gave a sheepish chuckle. "I'm not doing this intentionally, believe me, dude."
"Then what the hell are you doing it for?"
"Well, I'm kind of, uh… stuck."
"What?"
"You heard me. I'm stuck."
Rob blinked in incredulity for a while, then looked the situation over. Rikishi had somehow fitted one
half of his body through the door, but that was as far as it would go and, unfortunately, would not
back out again. Rob gave a low whistle. "No shit." He said finally.
"Is that all you can say?" Rikishi snapped sourly.
"Well, I could laugh, but I don't think you'd appreciate that."
"Very funny. Now could you give me a hand?"
Rob clapped politely.
"Getting funnier. Haha, I'm splitting my side with laughter." Rikishi said in a deadpan sort of voice.
"Now do you mind?? Help me out here!"
Rob stretched his arms for a bit, then grabbed Rikishi by the jacket and started to pull. He had given
three huge heaves when he dropped his hands and leaned on the opposite wall with a groan. "Bullshit,
man, you're really stuck."
"You think??" Rikishi said.
"I'll go for another try." Rob said. He took hold of Rikishi's jacket again and pulled. He was still heaving
and tugging with all his might when a surprised noise behind him stopped him dead in his tracks.
"Rob, what the hell are you doing?"
Rob turned to look into the stunned face of Bubba Ray Dudley. The Dudley brother gaped back at
him. "Is that Rikishi? Christ, are you two doing what I think you're doing…?"
"What??" Rob asked, then he shook his head. "No! No, come on, that's gross, man!" he said staunchly.
"I don't even know how you can stand there and say it in such a straight face, I mean, ew…!"
"Yeah, that really ain't funny!" Rikishi yelled from where he was stuck at, hearing Bubba's voice.
Actually, you couldn't blame the poor guy. If you had seen the weird scene of Rob trying to pull
Rikishi out of the bathroom from the back, it would have looked like… nevermind, maybe we should
just skip the descriptions for that part and get on with the story.
"Okay, I get the point." Bubba said, not used to seeing the normally cool Rob Van Dam get so
flustered. "But what's going on?"
"If you must know, I'm stuck." Rikishi's disgusted voice came.
"You're stuck??"
"Didn't you hear me the first time?"
If a while ago Rob was probably too polite to laugh, Bubba did it for him. He threw back his head
and started laughing his guts out, even leaning on the wall for support. "Wholly shit, that is just
messed up!"
"Hey Rob, check it out, he's as funny as you are." Rikishi said dryly.
"How'd you get stuck in the first place?" Rob asked suddenly.
Rikishi sighed. This was probably the weirdest position to ever tell a story in. "I went to take a
leak, and I was trying to do it really fast from the outside. But then a stewardess passed by and
I tried to push myself inside more so she wouldn't see what I was doing. Before I knew it, I was
stuck."
"Didn't you ask her for help?" Rob asked, then he shook his head. "Nevermind, even I know the
answer to that question."
"So are you two jokers going to get me out of here or are you just going to stand there laughing?"
Rikishi asked impatiently.
"Are those our only options?" Rob joked.
Bubba shoved him. "Not funny, man, I gotta go. Here, I'll give you a hand."
Why he didn't just use the bathroom up near the front we probably will never know. But we'll
get back to them later.
The PA system came on again. The same static voice came out. "Hello again, this is your captain
speaking. Right now we are flying a couple of thousand miles above the ground, can't tell for sure
exactly how high we are, though. All these levers and buttons and screens are really confusing me,
I tell you."
Kane whimpered and clung on tighter to Jackie.
"So far there's been no trace of that storm, so we ought to be all right for the next hour or so.
But we know all of you back there are probably bored close to tears by now, I know we are.
Christ, plane rides can be such a drag…"
David flashed his father a worried look. "What kind of a pilot talks like that?" he asked. Ric
merely shrugged and went back to reading his newspaper.
"So what better way to occupy your time than with an in-flight movie? Yay!" there was a sound
of a muffled smack and then hushed but angry words exchanged, then the 'captain' came back on.
"Right, I have been told by my co-pilot to get serious and stop weirding all of you out. So here's
your movie. Enjoy."
At that the lights dimmed in the main cabin. From his seat in the fifth row Jeff yawned and
stretched, nearly putting his brother's eye out. He looked around. "How long have I been asleep?"
"Around an hour at the most." Lita responded, as Matt was too annoyed to talk to his brother at
that moment.
"Oh." Jeff said. He saw the screens in the cabin come on. "Hey, is there going to be a movie?
Cool. What picture are they showing?"
The screens flickered on, and to everyone's surprise the picture fizzed for a bit. Then it showed
Sean William Scott looking outside a large glass window of an airport at a plane that had apparently
just taken off. Devon Sawa and Jason Kerr were brawling around in the background. Split seconds
later the plane exploded, completely obliterating anyone and everything that had been on board.
Kane let out a choked scream. The pyro-technician beside him nearly jumped out of his seat,
causing Booker to give him a weird look. Jackie fought to control the Big Red Phobic while
Undertaker shook his head from the backseat.
The PA system came on yet again. Tazz shook his head and rolled his eyes.
"Hehehe… just playing with you guys there." The pilot said. "We slipped that thing in by accident."
"Yeah right." Christian muttered.
"Here's the real deal." Then the system went off again.
Suddenly the film started and the title flashed across the screens. There was an immediate
collective groan from most of the superstars seated in the main cabin. On screen in big letters
it showed: The Scorpion King.
"Oh come on!" Jericho yelled, standing up from his seat, breaking off his fight with Trish Stratus
for a moment. "We already have to put up with that ass clown during shows and tapings, do we
have to see him prance around on the big screen too??"
Beside him, Trish shook her head in disgust and stood up to go to the bathroom.
Insulted, the Rock shot to his feet. "The Rock happened to do very well in that movie, jabroni!!
In fact, the Rock would like to see you do better!"
"Right, like I'd really kill to parade around in leather rags and something akin to a loincloth! The
only thing you did was swing a sword around and try to look cool! If that Kelly Hu babe hadn't been
around the movie might have been a total bust!"
"Big words coming from the moron whose little band is only known because of your appearance in
wrestling! What's it called again, Fonzy??" Rock mocked.
"It's FOZZY, you schmuck!" Jericho yelled back at him. "And for the last time, I am not Mongoose
McQueen!!!"
Rock smirked. "The Rock never said you were."
"Yeah, but you implied it." Jericho shot back.
"Will you two both shut up??" Austin suddenly yelled out loud. "It's already started and I haven't seen
this goddamn movie yet! Now this stars who again?"
Rock, Jericho and a majority of the other stars in the cabin turned to look at him incredulously.
Austin noticed it and looked around at all of them. "WHAT??"
Maven had had enough of this and went to go to the bathroom.
"I guess sometimes it pays to be blissfully drunk." Kevin Nash said dryly. Like Jeff he had woken
up a few minutes before the movie proper started.
"Don't remind me, don't remind me!" Hall groaned from beside him.
On screen, the Rock as Mathayus lifted his hood to show his face. Austin promptly spat out the
gulp of beer he had taken from possibly his tenth can of beer, spraying Albert who was in front
of him. "Goddamnit, what is that blasted sonofabitch doing in the goddamn movie??"
"It's The Scorpion King, you dead drunk!" Undertaker finally yelled out in frustration from the last
seat. "The WWF's only been promoting it for the last twelve months! Jesus, where the hell have
you been that you didn't notice it??"
Austin stood up, leaning on the headrest of his seat. "You wanna come over here and say that,
dumbass??" he threatened, slurring his words a bit. Hey, after all those cans you didn't expect
him to still be somber, did you?
Taker stood up as well, nearly throwing Brooklyn Brawler out of his own seat. "Why, you think
that in your state you can handle me, boy??"
D'Lo Brown shook his head and went to go to the bathroom.
"Hell yeah, plus blindfolded with one hand behind my back and the other hand giving you the
finger." Austin declared, flashing him a one-finger salute.
Ric Flair had apparently had enough. He stood up and glared angrily at the four bickering wrestlers.
"Save your energy for the ring!" he yelled. "I won't have the four of you breaking out into a brawl
in a space as small and as dangerous as an airplane!"
"We wouldn't have to be listening to all that if you had just taken the executive suite." David
muttered from beside him.
"For the last time, David, we are staying here and that's final!" Ric said to his son.
"Hey, that's my line!" Mick piped up from somewhere in the back.
"All right, any one from you four who starts yelling again is immediately suspended for six months
without pay!" Ric threatened.
"We're not under you." Jericho said, referring to himself and the Rock.
"Yeah, but you will have my boot implanted in your ass if you don't sit down and shut up!" Flair
yelled at him.
"But you just said…"
"SIT!!!!"
The Rock raised an eyebrow and Jericho looked like he wanted to argue more, but one look at
Flair's face, flushed bright red from anger, made then slowly take their seats. The last thing
they needed was for the co-owner of the WWF to burst a blood vessel here in the cabin.
And so the superstars were forced to sit down and watch through the movie. This time, it was
Matt who fell right to sleep. Jeff, not wanting to be used as a pillow, despite what he did to
Matt earlier, got up to go to the bathroom.
The sight that greeted him hit him with a wave of shock. Standing in a line in front of the
bathroom was D'Lo Brown, Maven, Trish, Bubba Ray and RVD. And to matters more interesting
they had their arms around the waists of the person in front of them, apparently pulling with
all their might.
Jeff went to stand beside the line and look at them. "Nice grip." He said to Maven, who had his
arms around Trish's waist.
"Funny." Trish said irritably at him. At that moment Chuck appeared, also seemingly needing
to use the john as well.
"Would it be a good idea to ask what's going on?" Jeff asked, an amused grin on his face.
Everybody stopped to take a breath. Rob turned to look at him. "We have a little emergency
here that refuses to be unstuck." He explained vaguely.
"What?" Jeff asked.
"I'm stuck, brotha!" Rikishi's voice came from the doorframe of the tiny bathroom.
"So grab on and lend a hand." D'Lo said.
Jeff thought about it, then looked to see Chuck grinning at him, knowing he would be behind
Jeff. The younger Hardy brother shuddered. "Uh, so he's been stuck there for how long?"
"He has been for the past thirty minutes." Bubba said. He looked at the people behind him.
"And everyone else out here really has to go, I tell you."
"Why don't you guys use the bathroom up front, then?" Jeff asked, jerking his thumb to the
front of the plane.
All of them looked at him, then at each other. A split second later they scrambled out of the
area and hurried off for the front of the plane.
"Hey, wait, where you guys going??" Rikishi yelled hysterically. "I'm still stuck here!! Help me!!
Hello???"
Jeff snickered. He was about to go and see what he could do to help Rikishi when somebody
came up behind him. He turned to find Edge. "Hey man, what's up?"
"I got a little worried about Rikishi; he's been gone for ages." Edge confessed. He looked in the
direction of the bathroom. "I guess I was right to be."
"Edge, that you?" Rikishi asked. "Dude, help me out here!"
"Got any ideas?" Jeff asked.
Edge rubbed his chin and thought about it. "I'll be right back." He said.
"Hang on, Edge seems like he's got a plan." Jeff said.
They waited for a bit until they heard footsteps heading their way. "He better not have called
any flight attendants." Rikishi groaned.
"Better." Edge said, coming up and catching his last statement. He grinned as he let his
companion through. "Here's our problem, Show. Think you can lend us a hand?"
The Big Show scrutinized the situation, before finally letting out a laugh that was as big as he
was. "You weren't kidding when you said this was an emergency." He said to Edge between
snickers. "Sorry Rikishi, but I just got to laugh at this."
Rikishi shrugged. "It's been going on for thirty minutes. I'm immune to it by now."
"You see, this is why I went three times before we boarded the plane." Show said with a grin.
He stretched then grabbed onto Rikishi. Jeff and Edge got out of the way as the former
Giant gave one huge pull…
And Rikishi popped out of the doorway like a cork. Big Show, surprised, stumbled backwards
and lost his balance. The two big men gave a yell and went crashing to the floor, causing the
plane to jolt a bit.
Kane gave a small squeal from his seat. Matt was jerked awake and everyone looked around,
panicked. That's what you got for showing that clip of Final Destination earlier.
The movie stopped for a bit as the PA system started again for the third time in this chapter.
"What in the crap was that??" came the static voice of the pilot.
"They don't know what's going on??" JR said in an incredulous voice.
Suddenly Edge ran back to the main cabin. "Everybody, everything is fine." He said in a calm
voice and that ever-present grin. "In fact, a crisis has been taken care of." He shook his head;
he sounded like the Hurricane now. "You guys have go nothing to worry about." He reassured.
"Better be." The pilot muttered. The system went off.
After the general scare had lifted and Rikishi and Show had taken their seats, the movie
resumed again, much to the displeasure of some. Those who had taken unusually long bathroom
breaks had come back as well. Things went on as best as they could for the most of the movie.
***
Azrael: For the record, we liked The Scorpion King.
Pyper: Yeah, we thought the Rock rocked. No pun intended.
Azrael: Anyway, an update looks pretty far in the horizon to me, I've become quite addicted to
my Playstation yet again. Maybe that's why mom and dad won't buy me a PS2...
Pyper: Or an X-Box.
Azrael: Yeah, don't remind me. *Goes off to grumble about not having been able to play Smack-
down! 3 and RAW is WAR yet.*
Pyper: See you when we update! Peace out!
was obvious, let's move on...
Pyper: LITA!!!!!! *Cries.*
Azrael: So she'll be out for six to nine months, huh? *Whistles.* Neck injuries can really be a bitch.
Pyper: Speaking of being out for a really long time, we're not dead. We've just been really preoccupied
with other things.
Azrael: Meaning we ran out of ideas and started slacking off.
Pyper: They didn't need to know that.
Azrael: I can't help it, I'm an honest person.
Pyper: *Mutters.* Yeah right.
Azrael: Here's our long overdue chapter. Enjoy.
IN-FLIGHT MOVIE
So much for the executive suite, let's head back to the main cabin.
"WHORE!"
"DICKHEAD!"
"CONCEITED MORON!"
"GREEDY BITCH!"
Hurricane winced with every insult thrown by the two blondes settled in the seats behind him. Jericho
and Trish had been yelling at each other for the past half-hour, first with quiet putdowns and insults
that had escalated into rude one or two-worders. He considered coming in between them. Then he
thought about it and decided against it. He did not want to have to face the wrath of those two.
But if anyone asked why he had kept quiet, he would reason that they needed to straighten out their
own differences without his help. Yeah, that sounded good.
He suddenly became aware of a presence at his shoulder. He turned to find Test reading over his
shoulder, although he immediately looked away the moment Hurricane did, trying to feign disinterest.
Hurricane sighed and shook his head.
"I gotta use the bathroom." RVD suddenly mumbled aloud. He fumbled around with his belt and slid it
off, then stood up to head for the john.
Michael Cole took his headphones off and turned to look at DDP. "Hey Page, I know this is a weird
question to ask, but have you noticed that Rob's been acting kind of funny since the plane took off?"
"In what way?" Page asked.
"Well, he's been all fidgety; drumming his fingers on the table, bouncing his leg up and down, looking
around all the time." Cole said. "What do you think?"
"Maybe he's just working out some stress." Page said. He flashed a smile. "And since it doesn't seem
to be a bad thing, then it's definitely a good thing."
Cole stifled a groan and went back to listening to the music.
Meanwhile, Rob had made his way to the back of the cabin to get to the restroom. He turned and
was about to go in when he bumped into someone that was obviously much larger than he was. "Ow!
What the…?"
"Hey, who is that?" a familiar voice asked.
Rob looked up. "Rikishi?" he asked. "What're you doing hogging up the entrance to the bathroom?"
The Phat Man gave a sheepish chuckle. "I'm not doing this intentionally, believe me, dude."
"Then what the hell are you doing it for?"
"Well, I'm kind of, uh… stuck."
"What?"
"You heard me. I'm stuck."
Rob blinked in incredulity for a while, then looked the situation over. Rikishi had somehow fitted one
half of his body through the door, but that was as far as it would go and, unfortunately, would not
back out again. Rob gave a low whistle. "No shit." He said finally.
"Is that all you can say?" Rikishi snapped sourly.
"Well, I could laugh, but I don't think you'd appreciate that."
"Very funny. Now could you give me a hand?"
Rob clapped politely.
"Getting funnier. Haha, I'm splitting my side with laughter." Rikishi said in a deadpan sort of voice.
"Now do you mind?? Help me out here!"
Rob stretched his arms for a bit, then grabbed Rikishi by the jacket and started to pull. He had given
three huge heaves when he dropped his hands and leaned on the opposite wall with a groan. "Bullshit,
man, you're really stuck."
"You think??" Rikishi said.
"I'll go for another try." Rob said. He took hold of Rikishi's jacket again and pulled. He was still heaving
and tugging with all his might when a surprised noise behind him stopped him dead in his tracks.
"Rob, what the hell are you doing?"
Rob turned to look into the stunned face of Bubba Ray Dudley. The Dudley brother gaped back at
him. "Is that Rikishi? Christ, are you two doing what I think you're doing…?"
"What??" Rob asked, then he shook his head. "No! No, come on, that's gross, man!" he said staunchly.
"I don't even know how you can stand there and say it in such a straight face, I mean, ew…!"
"Yeah, that really ain't funny!" Rikishi yelled from where he was stuck at, hearing Bubba's voice.
Actually, you couldn't blame the poor guy. If you had seen the weird scene of Rob trying to pull
Rikishi out of the bathroom from the back, it would have looked like… nevermind, maybe we should
just skip the descriptions for that part and get on with the story.
"Okay, I get the point." Bubba said, not used to seeing the normally cool Rob Van Dam get so
flustered. "But what's going on?"
"If you must know, I'm stuck." Rikishi's disgusted voice came.
"You're stuck??"
"Didn't you hear me the first time?"
If a while ago Rob was probably too polite to laugh, Bubba did it for him. He threw back his head
and started laughing his guts out, even leaning on the wall for support. "Wholly shit, that is just
messed up!"
"Hey Rob, check it out, he's as funny as you are." Rikishi said dryly.
"How'd you get stuck in the first place?" Rob asked suddenly.
Rikishi sighed. This was probably the weirdest position to ever tell a story in. "I went to take a
leak, and I was trying to do it really fast from the outside. But then a stewardess passed by and
I tried to push myself inside more so she wouldn't see what I was doing. Before I knew it, I was
stuck."
"Didn't you ask her for help?" Rob asked, then he shook his head. "Nevermind, even I know the
answer to that question."
"So are you two jokers going to get me out of here or are you just going to stand there laughing?"
Rikishi asked impatiently.
"Are those our only options?" Rob joked.
Bubba shoved him. "Not funny, man, I gotta go. Here, I'll give you a hand."
Why he didn't just use the bathroom up near the front we probably will never know. But we'll
get back to them later.
The PA system came on again. The same static voice came out. "Hello again, this is your captain
speaking. Right now we are flying a couple of thousand miles above the ground, can't tell for sure
exactly how high we are, though. All these levers and buttons and screens are really confusing me,
I tell you."
Kane whimpered and clung on tighter to Jackie.
"So far there's been no trace of that storm, so we ought to be all right for the next hour or so.
But we know all of you back there are probably bored close to tears by now, I know we are.
Christ, plane rides can be such a drag…"
David flashed his father a worried look. "What kind of a pilot talks like that?" he asked. Ric
merely shrugged and went back to reading his newspaper.
"So what better way to occupy your time than with an in-flight movie? Yay!" there was a sound
of a muffled smack and then hushed but angry words exchanged, then the 'captain' came back on.
"Right, I have been told by my co-pilot to get serious and stop weirding all of you out. So here's
your movie. Enjoy."
At that the lights dimmed in the main cabin. From his seat in the fifth row Jeff yawned and
stretched, nearly putting his brother's eye out. He looked around. "How long have I been asleep?"
"Around an hour at the most." Lita responded, as Matt was too annoyed to talk to his brother at
that moment.
"Oh." Jeff said. He saw the screens in the cabin come on. "Hey, is there going to be a movie?
Cool. What picture are they showing?"
The screens flickered on, and to everyone's surprise the picture fizzed for a bit. Then it showed
Sean William Scott looking outside a large glass window of an airport at a plane that had apparently
just taken off. Devon Sawa and Jason Kerr were brawling around in the background. Split seconds
later the plane exploded, completely obliterating anyone and everything that had been on board.
Kane let out a choked scream. The pyro-technician beside him nearly jumped out of his seat,
causing Booker to give him a weird look. Jackie fought to control the Big Red Phobic while
Undertaker shook his head from the backseat.
The PA system came on yet again. Tazz shook his head and rolled his eyes.
"Hehehe… just playing with you guys there." The pilot said. "We slipped that thing in by accident."
"Yeah right." Christian muttered.
"Here's the real deal." Then the system went off again.
Suddenly the film started and the title flashed across the screens. There was an immediate
collective groan from most of the superstars seated in the main cabin. On screen in big letters
it showed: The Scorpion King.
"Oh come on!" Jericho yelled, standing up from his seat, breaking off his fight with Trish Stratus
for a moment. "We already have to put up with that ass clown during shows and tapings, do we
have to see him prance around on the big screen too??"
Beside him, Trish shook her head in disgust and stood up to go to the bathroom.
Insulted, the Rock shot to his feet. "The Rock happened to do very well in that movie, jabroni!!
In fact, the Rock would like to see you do better!"
"Right, like I'd really kill to parade around in leather rags and something akin to a loincloth! The
only thing you did was swing a sword around and try to look cool! If that Kelly Hu babe hadn't been
around the movie might have been a total bust!"
"Big words coming from the moron whose little band is only known because of your appearance in
wrestling! What's it called again, Fonzy??" Rock mocked.
"It's FOZZY, you schmuck!" Jericho yelled back at him. "And for the last time, I am not Mongoose
McQueen!!!"
Rock smirked. "The Rock never said you were."
"Yeah, but you implied it." Jericho shot back.
"Will you two both shut up??" Austin suddenly yelled out loud. "It's already started and I haven't seen
this goddamn movie yet! Now this stars who again?"
Rock, Jericho and a majority of the other stars in the cabin turned to look at him incredulously.
Austin noticed it and looked around at all of them. "WHAT??"
Maven had had enough of this and went to go to the bathroom.
"I guess sometimes it pays to be blissfully drunk." Kevin Nash said dryly. Like Jeff he had woken
up a few minutes before the movie proper started.
"Don't remind me, don't remind me!" Hall groaned from beside him.
On screen, the Rock as Mathayus lifted his hood to show his face. Austin promptly spat out the
gulp of beer he had taken from possibly his tenth can of beer, spraying Albert who was in front
of him. "Goddamnit, what is that blasted sonofabitch doing in the goddamn movie??"
"It's The Scorpion King, you dead drunk!" Undertaker finally yelled out in frustration from the last
seat. "The WWF's only been promoting it for the last twelve months! Jesus, where the hell have
you been that you didn't notice it??"
Austin stood up, leaning on the headrest of his seat. "You wanna come over here and say that,
dumbass??" he threatened, slurring his words a bit. Hey, after all those cans you didn't expect
him to still be somber, did you?
Taker stood up as well, nearly throwing Brooklyn Brawler out of his own seat. "Why, you think
that in your state you can handle me, boy??"
D'Lo Brown shook his head and went to go to the bathroom.
"Hell yeah, plus blindfolded with one hand behind my back and the other hand giving you the
finger." Austin declared, flashing him a one-finger salute.
Ric Flair had apparently had enough. He stood up and glared angrily at the four bickering wrestlers.
"Save your energy for the ring!" he yelled. "I won't have the four of you breaking out into a brawl
in a space as small and as dangerous as an airplane!"
"We wouldn't have to be listening to all that if you had just taken the executive suite." David
muttered from beside him.
"For the last time, David, we are staying here and that's final!" Ric said to his son.
"Hey, that's my line!" Mick piped up from somewhere in the back.
"All right, any one from you four who starts yelling again is immediately suspended for six months
without pay!" Ric threatened.
"We're not under you." Jericho said, referring to himself and the Rock.
"Yeah, but you will have my boot implanted in your ass if you don't sit down and shut up!" Flair
yelled at him.
"But you just said…"
"SIT!!!!"
The Rock raised an eyebrow and Jericho looked like he wanted to argue more, but one look at
Flair's face, flushed bright red from anger, made then slowly take their seats. The last thing
they needed was for the co-owner of the WWF to burst a blood vessel here in the cabin.
And so the superstars were forced to sit down and watch through the movie. This time, it was
Matt who fell right to sleep. Jeff, not wanting to be used as a pillow, despite what he did to
Matt earlier, got up to go to the bathroom.
The sight that greeted him hit him with a wave of shock. Standing in a line in front of the
bathroom was D'Lo Brown, Maven, Trish, Bubba Ray and RVD. And to matters more interesting
they had their arms around the waists of the person in front of them, apparently pulling with
all their might.
Jeff went to stand beside the line and look at them. "Nice grip." He said to Maven, who had his
arms around Trish's waist.
"Funny." Trish said irritably at him. At that moment Chuck appeared, also seemingly needing
to use the john as well.
"Would it be a good idea to ask what's going on?" Jeff asked, an amused grin on his face.
Everybody stopped to take a breath. Rob turned to look at him. "We have a little emergency
here that refuses to be unstuck." He explained vaguely.
"What?" Jeff asked.
"I'm stuck, brotha!" Rikishi's voice came from the doorframe of the tiny bathroom.
"So grab on and lend a hand." D'Lo said.
Jeff thought about it, then looked to see Chuck grinning at him, knowing he would be behind
Jeff. The younger Hardy brother shuddered. "Uh, so he's been stuck there for how long?"
"He has been for the past thirty minutes." Bubba said. He looked at the people behind him.
"And everyone else out here really has to go, I tell you."
"Why don't you guys use the bathroom up front, then?" Jeff asked, jerking his thumb to the
front of the plane.
All of them looked at him, then at each other. A split second later they scrambled out of the
area and hurried off for the front of the plane.
"Hey, wait, where you guys going??" Rikishi yelled hysterically. "I'm still stuck here!! Help me!!
Hello???"
Jeff snickered. He was about to go and see what he could do to help Rikishi when somebody
came up behind him. He turned to find Edge. "Hey man, what's up?"
"I got a little worried about Rikishi; he's been gone for ages." Edge confessed. He looked in the
direction of the bathroom. "I guess I was right to be."
"Edge, that you?" Rikishi asked. "Dude, help me out here!"
"Got any ideas?" Jeff asked.
Edge rubbed his chin and thought about it. "I'll be right back." He said.
"Hang on, Edge seems like he's got a plan." Jeff said.
They waited for a bit until they heard footsteps heading their way. "He better not have called
any flight attendants." Rikishi groaned.
"Better." Edge said, coming up and catching his last statement. He grinned as he let his
companion through. "Here's our problem, Show. Think you can lend us a hand?"
The Big Show scrutinized the situation, before finally letting out a laugh that was as big as he
was. "You weren't kidding when you said this was an emergency." He said to Edge between
snickers. "Sorry Rikishi, but I just got to laugh at this."
Rikishi shrugged. "It's been going on for thirty minutes. I'm immune to it by now."
"You see, this is why I went three times before we boarded the plane." Show said with a grin.
He stretched then grabbed onto Rikishi. Jeff and Edge got out of the way as the former
Giant gave one huge pull…
And Rikishi popped out of the doorway like a cork. Big Show, surprised, stumbled backwards
and lost his balance. The two big men gave a yell and went crashing to the floor, causing the
plane to jolt a bit.
Kane gave a small squeal from his seat. Matt was jerked awake and everyone looked around,
panicked. That's what you got for showing that clip of Final Destination earlier.
The movie stopped for a bit as the PA system started again for the third time in this chapter.
"What in the crap was that??" came the static voice of the pilot.
"They don't know what's going on??" JR said in an incredulous voice.
Suddenly Edge ran back to the main cabin. "Everybody, everything is fine." He said in a calm
voice and that ever-present grin. "In fact, a crisis has been taken care of." He shook his head;
he sounded like the Hurricane now. "You guys have go nothing to worry about." He reassured.
"Better be." The pilot muttered. The system went off.
After the general scare had lifted and Rikishi and Show had taken their seats, the movie
resumed again, much to the displeasure of some. Those who had taken unusually long bathroom
breaks had come back as well. Things went on as best as they could for the most of the movie.
***
Azrael: For the record, we liked The Scorpion King.
Pyper: Yeah, we thought the Rock rocked. No pun intended.
Azrael: Anyway, an update looks pretty far in the horizon to me, I've become quite addicted to
my Playstation yet again. Maybe that's why mom and dad won't buy me a PS2...
Pyper: Or an X-Box.
Azrael: Yeah, don't remind me. *Goes off to grumble about not having been able to play Smack-
down! 3 and RAW is WAR yet.*
Pyper: See you when we update! Peace out!
