The Buffybot vs. A Time Portal

AN: I am making a leap here and assuming that the buffybot was programmed with past knowledge (as much as Spike would have known) as well as present knowledge. If it doesn't seem all that accurate to those of you who insist on logical thinking (lol) then remember this is quite AU and in that reality it does make sense. :-P
Jenn B.


Sunnydale 2001

"What just happened here?" Giles questions the guilty looking duo of Anya and Dawn as he glances around the interior of the Magic Box which currently looks like a tornado has gone though the main room.

" Anya was showing me this really cool spell that opened up a portal into the past. We weren't going to jump in it or anything, I just asked her if she could do it." Dawn explains rapidly.

" And then that robot thing had to go and ruin it all. That is not an easy spell, you know." Anya huffs.

" I don't think I want to know but how exactly does the Buffybot fit into all of this?" Giles asks, removing his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose where he can already feel a headache forming.

" Well, she kind of, went through it." Dawn replies sheepishly, waiting for the impending explosion from Giles.

" Dear Lord! Do you have any idea what this could mean?! History as we know it to be could be severely altered just by her presence in the past! What time did you send her to, Anya?"

" I'm not exactly sure. But I did put a safety on the spell. It should revert in a few hours."

" A few hours? That robot can get into trouble in a few minutes!" Giles shouted. The ex demon just shrugged helplessly as Dawn was attempting to slink away.

" Dawn! I would advise you to stay put. We are going to get out the books and do research and hopefully we can get the bot back before irreversible damage occurs." Giles orders in an eerily calm voice that sends a shiver down the girl's spine.


Sunnydale 1997

" Where am I? There are many people here. I must find Spike or Willow." The Buffybot says to herself as she scans the halls of Sunnydale High School. A few students passing by her give her odd glances but most ignore her conversation with herself. She walks a few steps, pausing in front of the library doors. " I know this." She says; stopping to access her memory files. ' Data: Places: Library: meeting place Librarian/ Guyels.

" Guyels is in here! He will help me find Spike!" She announces to whomever is within listening distance and pushes open the swinging double doors. Inside the musty smelling room, Willow is sitting with legs crossed in a chair by the center table, twirling her long red hair around a finger as she pursues a book resting in her lap.

" Willow! My friend!" The bot calls out cheerfully.

" Hey, Buffy. I thought you were out looking for the keoie demon?"

" I have no reference of that. Where is Spike?"

" Spike? Should he be here? Did he try something again?" Willow asks, looking fairly panicky.

" I should go find Spike. I miss his sexy undead body."

" What?! Buffy are you feeling OK?"

To that the Buffybot pinches her arm in speculation before answering. " I feel OK. Maybe you should feel me to find out?"

" Um...no. Buffy, I think you should just wait here until Giles comes back. He went to his place for a book that isn't here. You're acting a little strange."

" I don't mean to. I will stay here until Guyels returns if you think that is best."

" Hey all that is two!" Xander says as he bounds into the library. " How goes with the demon hunting? Anyone go insane from its mystical powers yet?"

" Xander, I think it may have got to Buffy. She's acting really odd. She called Spike sexy."

Xander glances up at the ceiling and shouts " It was a joke!" He then turns to the Buffybot who is standing patiently in the exact same spot Willow told her to wait on. "C'mon Buffster, you're just pulling the old wool over our eyes right? The insano demon is lying dead in a gutter somewhere and you're just relieving stress through humor."

" I kill demons!" The Buffybot announces, picking up on the one part of Xander's spiel that makes sense to her programming.

" Yeah you do." Xander agrees slowly, casting a worried glance at Will.

" Maybe we should call Angel. He knows a lot about demons." Willow said nervously.

" I hate to say it, but he may be able to help here. Insane slayer isn't really my forte."
" I'll call him, you keep an eye on her. She seems insistent on finding Spike for some reason."

" Great," Xander says under his breath. "That's all we need. I'll bet she and Drusilla could have some in depth conversations." He hops onto the countertop and glances warily at Buffy, who seems to be in a world of her own; a smile plastered onto her face as she stares off into space. ' Wait, when did her hair grow?' Xander thinks, and after a moment of thought chalking it up to his own unique male lack of observation.

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Sunnydale 2001

" Spirit portals, demon portals, where in the bloody hell is the book you used Anya?" Giles shouts, growing impatient as the time wears on, allowing a better chance for disaster.

" It flew over here somewhere in the miniature tornado." She replies.

" I thought it went that way." Dawn counters, pointing in completely the opposite direction of where they are looking.

"Dear Lord." Giles repeats, rolling his eyes as the two females argue over the book's possible location and continues his search.

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Sunnydale 1997

" It would appear that something has happened to her. It is consistent with the symptoms presented by a victim of the keoie demon; sluggish speech, loss of memory, delusions." Giles announces later that evening to the group gathered around the library table consisting of Willow, Xander, and Angel.

" But why does she keep mentioning Spike?" Angel questions skeptically.

" He has played a large role in her recent slaying endeavors, perhaps that is feeding into some sort of delusion that she needs to find him." Giles replies, glancing over at the Buffybot who is now standing near Angel; tilting her head at him in curiosity.

" You're hair is bigger." She says during the lull in conversation.

" What?" Angel asks, glancing around at the others for clarification. The three just shrug in response, Xander hiding his laugh behind a fake cough.

" Do you know where Spike is?" She asks the brooding vampire.

" No." He answers gruffly, trying to pinpoint what seems off about her besides the obvious mental impairments.

" Buffy, why do care where Spike is so much? It's never of the good when you too meet. All the fighting and violence." Willow asks calmly, attempting to not sound patronizing.

" You should see him naked. You'd want to find him too. But you can't have him." The bot announces to the horror of everyone.

" Did Spike do something to you Buffy? Is he causing this?" Angel asks, anger welling up in him at the thought of his former partner in crime hurting his love.

" Oh he does many things to me. He's the big bad." She declares proudly.

" This is too weird. Even for here." Xander declares, interrupting the Buffybot's spiel about Spike's "qualities".

Giles simply cleans his glasses, pretending not to understand the implications of Buffy's speech.

" There is a potion that can reverse the effects of the keoie's poisons. We'll need to find the demon for it, however."

" Lead the way." Angel says, his face determined and stony.

" Xander and Angel, we'll look for the demon. Willow I think someone should stay here with her until we return with the cure." Giles suggests. Willow nods in agreement, eyeing the Buffybot as she examines a mechanical pencil with more concentration and fascination than possibly needed for such a task.

As the guys leave the library, Willow turns her full attention to The Buffybot who is now standing right beside her, having abandoned the mechanical pencil.

"Well, what do you want to do, Buffy? Oh! We could play scrabble! Except for the lack of a board or letters." Willow rambles, attempting to start a conversation.

" I want to find Spike. My programming says to find you and slash or Spike if I get lost."

" I don't think that's a good idea, Buffy. Maybe after we get you that potion."

" I'm going now." The Buffybot proclaims, before marching out of the library, leaving Willow staring at her retreating form with a conflicted look on her face.

" Buffy, wait!" She calls and moves to follow her friend who is already nearing the school's exit. 'If I can't stop her at least I can try to distract her.' She thinks, hurrying to catch up to Buffy.
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" I found it!" Dawn shouts triumphantly, holding up a tattered book with an hourglass symbol branded on the aged leather cover.

" Thank heavens. Anya can you open the portal again?"
" Of course I can. But how do you plan on getting her to go through it again?"

" A location spell." Giles announces.

" Oh. Clever." The ex demon praises the watcher.

" Indeed. Lets get going shall we?"

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" This place is wrong." The Buffybot tells a wheezing Willow who had to run to keep up with her friend's quick pace. " Spike should be here."

" Here?" Willow questions glancing around the empty crypt. " But I thought he was staying at the factory?"

" The factory? Where is the factory?"

" Over in the warehouse district. You know that."

" I will go there. Where is there? Can you take me?" The bot implores.

Willow sighs deeply, and after an inner struggle decides that, in this state, Buffy could get into more trouble wandering aimlessly through town looking for the factory than if she knows where it is. ' I can always tell her the long way to go' Willow says to herself and nods in compliance.

" Well, well what do we have here?" A male voice with a distinct British accent queries. " I came looking for a hot meal and look what I get! A slayer and her lackey."

" Hey! I'm not a lackey!" Willow protests, turning to face Spike who is leaning against the crypt's entrance, a smug smirk on his face.

" Spike!" The Buffybot shouts joyfully, and heads towards the peroxide vampire.

" Whoa now." Spike jumps up ready for a fight. " Tha's how it's gonna be then? Want to fight me, Slayer?"

The Buffybot cocks her head for a minute, comprehending his question and then a knowing smile replaces the confused look on her face.

" Do you want to hurt me, Spike?" She asks seductively.

" Wha? I mean yeah. I want to hurt you. I'm going to kill you ,little girl, once and for all." He retorts, thrown by the tone of her voice.

" I want you to hurt me Spike. I want you to bite me and make me yours." She purrs, accessing the script in her "please Spike" folder.
" Buffy!" Willow cries in disbelief.

Spike can do nothing but stare as his mortal enemy swaggers, actually swaggers, closer to him. Before he can even think of a reaction, however, a swirling blue mass of energy pops up in between the slayer and the vampire, interrupting the bot's path. An overtone of Latin can be heard chanting as she walks straight into the center of it, which promptly closes behind her, leaving no evidence that she was even there except for a bewildered Spike and Willow.


Spike quickly recovers his composure, still hungering for a meal, and lunges towards the stunned Willow who screams in terror as his hand encircles her wrist, pulling her body towards his. Just as he leans in for the bite something crashes into his skull, knocking him to the ground and forcing him to release Willow. In the doorway of the crypt, stake in hand, stands Buffy. Next to the writhing Spike on the ground lays a brick, the obvious weapon of choice. Willow hurries over to stand next to her friend, her fear addled brain not questioning her reappearance.

" Are you alright?" Buffy asks, subtly checking her friend's neck for punctures.

" Yeah, but Spike..."

The girls turn together to find Spike has dissapeared as they talked.

" Next time. I've had a loonng night." Buffy groans, rotating a sore shoulder. " You should have seen that kiosk demon thing! He had tentacles and...what? Did I miss something?" She pauses noticing the incredulous look her friend is giving her.

" I...I...I think I need to sit." Willow says, completely confused and wondering if she herself didn't encounter an insanity inducing demon.

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" And for the last time, no more spells!" Giles lectures Anya and Dawn as the Buffybot sits in the background looking on.

" Spells? Who's doing spells?" Willow queries as she steps into the Magic Box.

" It's a very long, insane story, that will make no sense to you." Anya replies.

" Oh like that time we got the mojo from that keoie demon? I had the most vivid dream about that earlier..."


The End