Disclaimer: We do not own the WWE, nor are we in any way affiliated with it. We are not
doing this for profit, although if anyone would wish to pay us, then we have no complaints
about that either...

Azrael: Will you look at that? We don't update this story for a little over two months and
suddenly the WWF decides to change its name. Man, that's just wrong.

Pyper: Why couldn't they and the World Wildlife Fund just get along? *Flashes cheesy smile
with a peace sign.*

Azrael: *Gives her a weird look and shakes her head.* Well, we're back.

Pyper: We're really sorry about neglecting this story, and any others that we have! We'll
promise to do better! Scout's honor!

Azrael: Pyper, can it. And you're not a scout, and you've never been one.

Pyper: They didn't have to know that!! *Stalks off with a scowl on her face.*

Azrael: Well, here's the fifth chapter. I'll be back to school by tomorrow, so it's going to be
hard updating after that. I'll see what I can do. As for Pyper, she has a couple of more days
left, so if she wants to take the reigns then no problem... I'll just have to see if I can catch
up to her first. Enjoy the chapter!


TURBULENCE

The movie was still ongoing. A bunch of superstars had fallen asleep, most of them the ones
who had seen it already. Jericho had dozed off, much to the stewardesses' relief. At least
they would be given a break from his incessant demands. Matt was asleep too, despite the
fact that Jeff was sipping a glass of soda via a straw and making slurping noises in the process.
Triple H would have zonked out too, if Mick hadn't insisted on talking to him every minute.
Stone Cold, regardless of not having seen the movie yet, was out like a light, finally suc-
cumbing to his beer that Hall was now in the process of eyeing.

"Are you okay, sir?" a stewardess politely asked, stopping in front of the Brooklyn Brawler.

"I'm fine." Brawler managed to say.

"Are you sure? Can I get you anything?"

"I'm fine." He repeated in that same voice.

She nodded and turned to his seatmate. Her smile faltered the tiniest bit. "How about you,
sir? Can I get you…"

"No." Undertaker said sharply, not even turning to look at her.

"Okay, if you need anything, just buzzer!" she said, then quickly left, darting furtive glances
at the Undertaker as she did, as if afraid that Dead Man was going to step out and bite her.

Brawler swallowed nervously as he tried not to move. At least she could get away. He was stuck
there. He also probably hadn't realized that he had been blinking 'Help me' in Morse Code all the
time that she had been there.

Mr. Perfect tapped the armrest of his seat in annoyance. In the row behind him, the Big
Valbowski was doing quite a good job of charming one of the hos that the Godfather had with
him. She was the woman that they had settled on wooing to see who could actually leave with
her when the flight was over. Right now, it seemed that Val was doing much better than he
was.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw the Godfather get up to go to the restroom up front.
Making sure Val didn't notice, Perfect stood up and followed him.

Godfather was about to open the restroom door and proceed to relieve himself when someone
tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around irritably. "What?"

"Hey, Godfather, I have a proposition for you." Perfect said in a low voice.

"Not interested." Godfather said, turning to go into the bathroom.

"No wait, hold up." Perfect said, grabbing his arm. "Listen, I'm willing to pay a huge sum for
the lady on your right tonight."

Godfather eyes him suspiciously. "How big?"

Perfect frowned a little before replying. "How does two grand sound?"

"Spoken like a true cheapskate." Godfather said, playing it cool even though he seriously had
to take a leak. "These are first class ladies I'm flying with, man. For a night, I don't shake
hands over something as low as two grand."

"Three then."

"Are you that desperate to get laid?"

"No!" Perfect said in exasperation. "Look, she doesn't even really have to go with me, just look
like she's leaving the plane with me, then she can go back to you. How does that sound?"

"And you pay me the three grand."

"And I pay you the three grand.

Godfather rubbed his chin thoughtfully to a minute, before sticking his hand out. "That I'll shake
over. You've got a deal." He shook Perfect's hand.

"Oh, and one more thing. Could you not tell Val Venis about this?" Perfect asked.

"Sure, sure, whatever, will you please just go so that I can do my business!" Godfather said,
stepping into the cramped bathroom area and shutting the door.

The Hurricane had no idea why Mr. Perfect made his way back to his seat with such a big smile
of victory on his face. Thinking it none of his business, he shrugged and was about to go back
to his comic book when a hand turned the page for him.

"Come on, can't you read faster?" Test said, sipping his drink as he read through the comic book
Hurricane had been reading.

Hurricane blinked. "I thought you said a while ago that reading comic books were for nerds."
He couldn't resist pointing out.

Test waved his statement off impatiently. "Yeah, whatever." He said, still engrossed with what
he was reading.

Hurricane pushed the comic book to his table. "Here, you can borrow it." He said in a dry voice,
shutting off his reading light and turning his attention to the movie. Test took it without a word.

Spike was watching the movie but was close to dozing off. He had seen it when it first came
out anyway. He turned to his right and blinked, doing a double take. There was William Regal,
seated in between Bradshaw and Faarooq in just his pants and undershirt, and was in the process
of taking off his belt.

"Oh Lord, I am not even going to ask what's going on over there." Sharmell commented, catching
sight of what he had seen.

"Tell me about it." Spike agreed.

Actually, Regal had just lost his fifty-seventh game in a row and had lost all his money, his watch,
his gold-tipped pen, leather wallet, tie, vest, shirt, loafers and now his belt to the APA, and in
that order too. At this rate he'd be down to his boxers by the time the plane touched down. And
still Faarooq dealt the cards. Some people never learn.

Lita looked up in surprise when a stewardess suddenly came up to her with a bottle of champagne.
"I didn't order this." She said.

"Compliments from the gentleman across the aisle." The stewardess said with a smile before
leaving.

Lita looked to see X-Pac give her a sickening grin then hold up his own glass, which happened to
have just soda in it. Lita groaned and slouched back into her seat, trying to avoid eye contact.
Now she wished that she had switched seats with Jeff just like Matt had suggested. "That is no
gentleman." She muttered to herself.

Behind them, she heard Jeff chortle and nearly choke on his own drink. She scowled more. Matt,
she knew, was probably asleep.

"Hey, good year." Hogan said, looking at the bottle.

"You want it? It's yours."

"Hey, thanks." Hogan said, taking his glass and uncorking the bottle, pouring some of the red liquid
into it.

"Hey man, that was for the lady." X-Pac suddenly piped up, seeing what Hogan had done.

"I don't see a lady around here, do you?" Jeff's teasing voice came from the back. Lita had to grin
despite herself.

"I sent that for Lita." X-Pac said staunchly.

"Therefore it is mine, and therefore I can do anything I want with it." Lita pointed out. "Including
giving it to Hogan."

X-Pac scowled as Hogan drained his glass, all the while smirking at him. He turned to look at his
companions. "Hey, aren't you going to help me out here…?"

"You won't get anything out of Hall for the moment." Nash said calmly, actually watching the
movie that was on the screens. "I, on the other hand, am not about to pick a fight in a plane.
I'll wait until I'm on solid ground to do that."

With another scowl X-Pac slumped back in his seat, sipping his drink sourly and watching Hogan
enjoy the wine. Jeff snickered again.

"Ima nanji desuka?" Tajiri suddenly asked Torrie.

Torrie turned to look at his impatient face and scratched her head. She had been with him for
how many months now but still had a hard time understanding different phrases. "Er, nani?"

Tazz had looked up from his seat and leaned over Steven Richards in order to whisper something
in Kidman's ear. "Hey Kidman, the little Japanese dude just called you an asshole." He told him
with a grin that should have warned Kidman immediately.

"What??" Kidman said in a slightly loud voice.

"No he did not." Torrie hissed, overhearing. "'Ketsu no ana' means 'asshole,' and he did not say
that!"

"Nanda to??" Tajiri asked in surprise, only catching the foul language in his native tongue.

"There he goes again!" Tazz said, obviously trying to stir up trouble. "Hey, I got a word for you,
tell him 'zakennayo.'"

"Zake-what?" Kidman asked, unsure. "Zakennayo?"

"Chikusho!" Tajiri immediately yelled, getting up from his seat to glare at Kidman. He then
began to babble in a steady stream of Japanese, but obviously telling Kidman that if he wanted
a fight then he's got it.

"What the fuck did I tell him??" Kidman asked, perplexed but standing up.

Torrie shook her head and covered her eyes with one hand. "You told him to fuck off." And to
think he only started out by asking what time it was.

"Couldn't you guys have waited until we were off the goddamn plane before picking a fight??"
D'Lo asked in exasperation from the seat in front of them.

"Hey Hurricane, why don't you go see if you can break that fight up." Molly suggested with a
smirk to her former partner.

Hurricane looked up. "I suppose it was only a matter of time for those two." He said with a
groan. Beside him, Test turned another page.

"Will you two jabronis up front sit down??" Rock yelled from the sixth row. "This is one of the
Rock's best parts!"

"We agree." Billy said from a seat behind him, Chuck nodding. Rock couldn't help but shudder.

Before Tajiri and Kidman could actually come to blows, and by now the riot had woken up most
of the people who were sleeping in the cabin, a godawful jolt from the plane threw them back-
wards and back onto their seats.

Still sniveling in the second to the last row, Kane choked back a squeal and proceeded to cling on
tighter to Jackie, who tried to calm him down for about the twelfth time in five minutes. It
didn't help that another jolt make the plane teeter precariously again and the PA system crackled
to life.

"Wow, did everybody feel that?" The captain's now familiar static voice said.

"YES!!!" everybody in the cabin yelled out in unison.

"What the crap is going on??" Ric Flair demanded.

"Uh, remember the storm I talked about when we took off?" the captain chuckled wryly.
"Well, it caught up to us. Or rather, we caught up to it. We're currently somewhere at its
tail, which isn't bad but not good either."

"Normally we'd go about telling everybody to remain calm." The co-pilot suddenly spoke up out
of the blue. "But hey, it's a freakin' storm. We'll stop the movie momentarily. So everybody
sit back, buckle yourselves up, buckle up anybody who's unconscious and can't buckle themselves
up, and brace yourselves."

"It's going to be a bumpy ride." The captain said, then the PA system went off.

The screens fizzed out in the middle of where Mathayus had gotten lucky with the Sorceress
that night. The Rock groaned.

The pyro-technician beside Stone Cold pulled his safety belt back on, and turned to the
Rattlesnake, who was still out cold. With a sigh he strapped Austin in, then let out a squeal
when a hand grabbed his wrist.

"What the crap you think you're doing, boy?" Stone Cold demanded in a low voice, looking out
at him from half-opened eyes. He was utterly wasted, but somehow had woken up, if briefly.

"I, uh, I-I…"

"Spit it out, son!" Stone Cold said, his voice getting louder. "You better have a good explanation
for having your hands all over in my area! Are you trying to steal beer or something??"

With his free hand the pyro-technician pointed to the fasten seatbelt sign that had been lit
up. "No, I wasn't. We're in the middle of a storm, sir." He squeaked out. "We've been told
to put all our belts on."

Austin eyed the sign, then the technician. "Oh." He said simply, then let go of him and
promptly fell back to sleep again.

Breathing a huge sigh of relief, the pyro-technician sat back in his seat with a sigh. Across
the aisle from Stone Cold, Hall happily popped a beer can open for himself. He had swiped it
when Austin was preoccupied with the technician.

The plane tossed around. The lights flickered on and off. There were sounds of shock, a few stray
whimpers no one will ever admit to, and the telltale noises of others throwing up. All in all, it
looked like a scene from out of some cheesy drama, and Edge half-expected someone to stand up,
get down on their knees in front of a woman, be it diva, stewardess or ho, and proclaim their love
before the plane crashed.

But of course that wasn't going to happen. Everybody in that plane was too macho to risk permanent
damage to their egos.

"We're gonna DIE!!" a hysterical voice rang out from a few rows up front.

Edge groaned and shook his head as there were shouts for Christian to be placated. Then again,
there were some that obviously felt very secure in their manhood to cry out like little girls.

"You know, outside of the ring or wrestling I've never had any life or death experiences." Mick said,
his voice still unusually chipper if not strained.

Triple H didn't feel like making chitchat at the moment, which was understandable. "Well here's
hoping that you'll live to write it all down in your next book, and that we'll all live to read it as well."
He said through clenched teeth as the plane jostled about.

"Hey, thanks Hunter." Mick said with his gap-toothed grin. There was a pause before he spoke
again. "So you actually read my other books?"

Triple H groaned.

The pyro-technician who had been forced to vacate his seat to Stone Cold Steve Austin was at the
moment, although petrified for his life, looking enviously at Kane. The Big Red Machine had his
face nestled snugly at Jackie's large breasts as the Texan cooed to him and tried to tell him that
everything was going to be all right.

Trish had her eyes squeezed shut, but she opened them incredulously when she heard her seatmate
give a forced chuckle. She looked at Jericho. "What the hell are you laughing about?" she asked
in a voice that was as calm as she could manage.

"I can't die here, not like this." Jericho said, still with that half-crazed smile on his face. "I won't
die here like this."

"And what makes you think that you won't for sure??" Trish snapped, getting annoyed. "Look around,
the plane's in serious trouble and like it or not, you're in it!"

"Don't you get it??" Jericho said, looking at her. "I'm the Living Legend! There's no way in hell I
can die like this! I have greater things in store for me!"

"Well you'll be a Dead Legend if you don't survive this!" Trish snapped at him.

"Oh shut up, Trash Stratus."

"Go to hell, Chris Jerk-off."

All of a sudden the plane fell through an air pocket that was about ten feet deep. A scream rang
out, and this time nobody took any notice, all absorbed in their own thoughts and convinces that
their lives were flashing before their eyes.

Not only panic was spreading through the cabin like wildfire. So were prayers. Hey, they all felt
like they were at the brink of death, what the hell else did you expect them to do? Well, if you
could read minds, this was what some of them were thinking:

'Dear God, please don't let me die beside this queen.' Ivory thought solemnly, indicating Goldust.

'God, I just managed to get a hold of half of the Federation.' Thought Ric Flair. 'And you're taking
it all away from me?? It's not fair!'

'Well, God, if ever worst comes to worst, then at least these crooks who call themselves the APA
won't ever be able to make use of anything they took from me.' Regal thought with a bit of haughti-
ness.

'The Rock has just become a big movie star.' Rock thought. 'This is the Great One's chance and
he's not about to let it slip out of his fingers!'

'I'm a virgin! Virgins don't die in plane crashes!!' Molly thought hysterically.

'Dear God, if I go, please take care of mom, and dad, and brother Eric, and cousin Jimmy…' Kurt
continued to rattle off all the names of his relatives in his head, sniffing back tears as best as he
could.

'I can't use my superhero powers here!' the Hurricane thought frantically.

'Jesus Christ, I think I'm missing a beer.' Austin thought to himself, looking around but apparently
not noticing it in Hall's hands. 'Maybe I left it back in my bag. I better live through this to drink
again. Ain't no beer up there. Down there maybe…'

'Lord, this is shit.' Maven thought. 'I just won Tough Enough and gotten used to this crew. Now
I'm going to die? That's messed up, man, that's totally messed up.'

'God, I haven't had a decent angle in years.' Bossman thought. 'And now my life's going too?
What do you want from me??'

'This is dumb.' Rob thought as coolly as he could. While drumming his fingers on the armrest.
'But of course I'm supposed to think everything is cool. Everything would be cool if I had a chill
pill probably, but no, airline security probably wouldn't have let me get through with it…'

'Dying probably isn't a bad thing, it may be a good thing.' Diamond Dallas Page thought, trying
to convince himself. 'But God, not now! Let me try and spread more peace and positive thoughts!'

'God, if you let me live through this, I swear that I will never dye people's hair while they are
sleeping again, specifically Matt's.' Jeff Hardy thought. 'Well, maybe not all the time…'

'If I live through this, I swear to you God that I will never put another woman through a table
again.' Bubba thought. 'Unless she pisses me off really bad…'

'I should have taken the train.' Jim Ross thought with a groan.

'Lord Jesus, please let me live through this.' D-Von thought, hands clasped. 'I'll go to church every-
day. I'll spread your word. I'll testify! Christ, I'll become a man of God, just let me live!'

'Lord, if I get through this shit, I'll never go home with another strange woman again.' Booker
thought solemnly.

As for the Undertaker… oh yeah, as if you really believe that that guy was praying.

And suddenly, as quickly as the damned thing began, it all stopped. No more bumping up and
down, no more shaking, no more uncontrollable jerks. The plane flew smoothly and calmly from
then on, and outside the sky that had turned black was now lightening up.

"I think I speak for everybody when I say: What in the FUCK was that all about?" Triple H exclaimed.

And yes, again the PA system came on. "Hey, we made it! Drinks all around!" the co-pilot greeted
everyone.

"Oh yeah, oh yeah, I'm good, I'm good…" the captain said next.

"Oh shut up." The co-pilot said immediately. "For all of you who are wondering what happened,
well, apparently, we've passed out of the storm's jurisdiction. We're heading southwest. It was
heading southeast. Everything should be a smooth ride from now on."

"But man, I got worried there for a minute…" the captain said with a shaky laugh.

"Worried? You were cringing like hurt puppy and wailing for your mommy." The co-pilot said dryly.

"Hey, they didn't need to know that." The captain said sourly, and then the system went off again.

David Flair groaned as he unbuckled his seatbelt and tried to massage color back into his hands. He
had gripped the armrests so hard that his knuckles had turned white. "I'm going to the bathroom."
He said to his father.

"Suit yourself." Ric said, rubbing his neck and trying to calm himself.

David got up and headed for the back. He found Lita leaning over to the seat in the back, hugging
Matt even though her seatback was in the way. Rock was trying to pry Kurt's arms off him, as the
Olympic Dork had decided to give the Great One a hug of relief after the ordeal. Austin was blinking
sleepily as he stood up to look in the overhead bin for more beer. Kane looked better, even with
the mask still on. Jericho was laughing, and Trish was looking at him, puzzled, as if she was sure
he was going to crack any minute now. Foley was grinning from ear to ear, and had blessedly left
Hunter to get some shut eye as he went about writing his experience down on lined paper. Billy
and Chuck were hugging each other too, nearly making David gag. Godfather was calming his hos,
and looked like he was enjoying it too. Brawler was still a pasty white, being as he had been one
of those who had thrown up, and Undertaker was eyeing him in disdain.

David reached the back and stopped in front of a bathroom. He was about to go in when he frowned.
Screw it, one of those rooms upstairs had been meant for him and his dad anyway. He would go
there and claim an executive suite.

And the plane ride continued.

***


Pyper: Does this plane ride ever come to an end?

Azrael: Doesn't look like it. Maybe we can just stick them up there until they run out of gas or some-
thing.

Pyper: Very funny. How dare you think about killing off the Living Legend??

Azrael: He won't be so alive when I'm done, though. *Ignores Pyper's death stare.* Hey, I hope you
guys enjoyed this chapter as much as the others. We'll try to post up another one as soon as we can.
Oh, and if I made any mistakes with my Japanese earlier, feel free to correct me. Sumimasen!

Pyper: Domo arigato gozaimasu! Hey, I can speak Japanese!!

Azrael: Do itashimashite.

Pyper: Eh?

Azrael: ... Nevermind.