Well, I guess I should introduce this fic a little because it's a twist from just the simple break up for Chandler. People say to write what you have experienced, so I have kinda put two experiences together and meshed them and changed it and made it prettier :p..ok not prettier. It's not exactly where I have been, but whatever. I guess I wanted to dedicate this fic to a special man. In some ways, I guess I wanted to recreate his spirit and in others, I wanted to make this fic depressing :p.

I don't own anyone in this fic.



Chapter 4



Chandler walked into a hospital with a blank mind. He didn't know what to think, so he cleared his mind of thoughts. All he wanted to do was be there for the man who at one point meant the world to him. A man who would put a smile of his face when he felt it was impossible to smile. He had been there for him throughout his life, and all he wanted to do was see him.

"Are you family?" the nurse asked.

"Yeah, the name is Chandler Bing." he replied looking around the waiting room. There were people near tears, people worrying, people who just focused on a part of the wall drifting away from the hurt. Chandler never thought he would be one of these people.

A nurse came out of the room ushering one of the other people into the ICU, and at the same time, a young girl ran out with tears in her eyes. Running after her was an older woman who had also been crying. Obviously, they had just lost someone dear to them. Chandler was hoping that would not happen to him.

"Chandler Bing, he's ready for you." A nurse had called.

"But am I ready?" Chandler mumbled to himself. He wasn't. The sight was overbearing. A man, who had once been able to chase him around the yard or park was laying on that bed helplessly. Unaware that the world was slowly slipping away from him. His face was peaceful as if this was what he wanted, but he couldn't. Who would want to leave this world? Chandler immediately went to his side and took his hand into his. "Hey," he said gently. Inside he was breaking. Why did life have to be so unfair?

"Chandler," he said in a soft raspy voice, "What are you doing here?"

"Don't try to talk," Chandler commanded softly. He could tell it was a struggle. "I'll talk. I have never really thanked you for being there. When my dad ran off and when my mom had to go on tours, you were always there. You never let the maids and butlers take care of me. You were like a second father to me. When dad came back with his new life style, you were there for me and for him. I guess I never understood why."

"Chandler, you know I always thought you were special. We're all special, and we're all different. God must accept these variations, and we also must. Chandler, I am so proud you." the man replied taking his free hand and softy placing it on Chandler's cheek physically showing his nephew how proud he was.

Chandler couldn't help the tears that were forming in his eyes. They stung to the point where he wanted to close them; however, he wanted to be strong for this man who was trying to reciprocate. Knowing that this man was proud of him was enough to fill an ocean of happy tears. Although, the thought of losing him held back those happy feelings and distraught feelings took over. "You can't leave me here. It's been so long, and I never really got a chance to thank you."

"You don't have to. I know you appreciate all I have done. Family is the most important thing in life, and we have to stick together. We'll always have the past, and the future," he assured; however, it was simple to see that he was slowly slipping away.

"I love you. . ." Chandler cried out.

"I know, son. I know.." as he was trying to finish the sentenced he drifted off into a deep sleep softly snoring.

Chandler looked down at his face, and he smiled. He did look peaceful.


"Have you guys seen Chandler?" Ross asked as he entered Monica's apartment. Everyone had been there gossiping about their day and what they had seen on the street. The unimportant things in life.

"No, maybe he had to work late." Rachel suggested knowing that the words working late and Chandler didn't match at all.

"I'm a little worried," Joey said. "He always comes to see us after work to complain about his dull job."

"You know that he's not ready to come here," Ross interjected softly hoping Monica would not hear him, yet she did hear him. The sound of his name caused her eyes to widen, her body to tense.

"I... uh.. I have to take out the trash," Monica spat out. She didn't want another "it's going to be okay, honey" speech. She loved her friends' support; she expected it, but this was something she had to get through on her own. Monica gently grabbed the white semi-filled trash bag and walked out of her apartment. To her surprise, she saw Chandler sitting on the step looking at a picture oblivious to the world around him. Who was that a picture of, she wondered.

Chandler knew she had walked out. He didn't have to look up because he could sense it was her. Anyone else would have greeted him at first sight and at one time, she would have too. Now, it was awkward, tense. He finally tore his sad eyes from the picture and looked at her.

Monica titled her head to see that it was a man in the picture. Why was Chandler so distraught about a man? She wanted to ask but would she be crossing a line? Was there a line to cross? She saw him take away his focus on the picture to look at her. He was hurting. That look in his eyes was telling her that. Was it she? Was she the one causing that much pain?

The silence was unbearable. Chandler stared right at her as if there was no where else to look, but she couldn't reciprocate. She kept her eyes on her hands which were delicately holding the trash bag. The silence had to end.

Chandler finally decided he should say something, "Monica," he spoke. It was shaky as if he were ready to cry or had been crying. He was a man. Men are strong, aren't they? After he said her name, he looked at the picture again.

Monica, sensing he needed her support, sat by his side still not saying a word. She just looked at him and then at the picture and then him again. There was more to his hurt than her. A lot more than her.

"His name is Roddy. He's my uncle." Chandler stated as if it were the hardest thing to say. Well, not the hardest because what he would say next would be twice as hard. "He had a massive heart attack yesterday." Ok, he got through that part and here was the next. "He's dead."

Monica saw the tears fall from his eyes. She didn't know how to react to what he had just told her. Were there words that would make the pain go away? Of course not. Instead she hugged him. She let him cry on her shoulder. "Oh, Chandler.." she soothed.

Chandler let her hug him for a few seconds, but he couldn't be this intimate with her. He didn't know if he could handle her support right now, but he needed it. He couldn't deny the need he had for her support, but was that support only out of pity. He did not know. "I went to see him at the hospital today. He was still alive, but he didn't look well. I talked to him, held his hand. Then he fell asleep..." Chandler started to cry again. "As I was leaving, he passed away. His heart was not strong enough." Saying these words made what had happened become reality. Before it was surreal, in the clouds, but now after admitting it, it was real. Very real.

Monica wanted to be supportive, but in truth, she had no idea who this man was. Chandler never talked about him, and she didn't understand why he was hurting. They had been close, yet not as close as she thought they were. "Chandler, if he was so special to you, why didn't you ever mention him?"

"He was in the past. He was family, and we never talked about family. Maybe our parents and grandparents. See, he was like my second father. He never had kids of his own because he married late, and his wife died of cancer shortly after. He never moved on because he felt that if he did, he would betray her. Anyway, when my dad came out of the gay closet and left for a while to find "himself" and then my mom went to Paris for a few years to get some hands on you know for her books, I was left alone."

"I thought you went to boarding school," Monica said.

"Yeah, I did, but I came home on holidays and in the summer. Who was supposed to take care of me then? The butler? He ran off with dad!" Chandler said with anger in his voice.

"So this uncle took care of you?" Monica asked, knowing it was the obvious answer.

"He took care of everyone, but yes, he took care of me. I would visit him, and we would go to the park or talk. He took me to meet parts of the family I never knew. I'll tell you this, the man loved his family."

Monica just looked at him thankful he opened up to her like this. It showed they would get through this rough patch. "He sounds great."

"He was."

Once again, she hugged him with so much force. She wished this hug could take away all of his sorrows, his hurt. As they were in their embrace, Joey walked out and saw the two together. Were they back together? He softly cleared his throat.

The two of them quickly broke their hug and looked up at Joey.

"Are you two?..." Joey asked with hope in his eyes.

"No," Monica replied knowing exactly what he was talking about. She knew Chandler wasn't ready to say this all again to someone. Once was hard enough. "Someone close to him passed away." Monica said softly.

"Oh, Chandler," Joey said crouching down. "I am so sorry, man"

Chandler just nodded at his best friend. He knew that Joey meant what he said just by the look in his eyes. It was as if he was hurting with him. "Thanks, man."

"Come inside guys." Monica spoke up.

They walked inside and once again Chandler told the story to the group. Again, reality hit him hard but opening up in a sense helped or would help. Right now it was terribly hard. Too hard. However, they were all supportive and for the first time in a week, the awkwardness of the recent break up vanished from the room. All that was there was the distraught feelings of sadness and the supporting and loving feelings surrounding it. In that room, there were six friends coming together instead of drifting apart.


Minutes passed, hours passed, days passed, yet the hurt, the sorrow still remained. Chandler hated this feeling, but he was coming accustomed to it. First he lost Monica and then he lost his uncle. The question going through his mind was "who's next". The more he tried to think happy thoughts, the more he realized that he didn't have any.

Chandler looked around his new home. Sadly, he did not have any furniture, so he would be forced to go out and buy some. It was expensive, but he didn't want to have to sit on the floor like a dog all through the day. Although, he did have some personal belongings. He had a few boxes in storage that he never really got the chance to show off in his other places, and he had the few from Monica's and even one from Joey's. The apartment was so empty which matched the feeling in his heart.

Suddenly, there was a loud noise which had interrupted Chandler's sulking time. He finally realized that it was coming from the door. Oh, shit, someone is here, he thought to himself while wiping the tears from his eyes and straightening his messed up hair. The person knocked again louder each time. Yet, there was no voice following these knocks. Chandler, walking slowly like an old man then opening the door.

"Hey," He said slowly.

"Chandler, I heard about what happened. I am so sorry," The person said while hugging him tightly.

"Melissa, how did you know I lived here? How did you know about..." Chandler asked flabbergasted that she knew this. He never told her, and the last time he had made contact with her was when he caught Monica on that date.

"I ran into Joey in that little coffee house your told me about.. Central... oh, it was a cute name!" sighed Melissa. She was frustrated that she couldn't remember such a name.

"Perk," Chandler finished with a small smirk on his face. How could anyone forget that name?

"That's right! Anyway, he told me you lived here, and he told me about your uncle" she explained. "Are you ok?"

"No, but with every heavy rainfall you got that damn silver lining, right?" Chandler smiled trying to make the hurt easier.

"Of course there is. Like when my hamster died the other day.. I got a new one. Ok, that is not the same thing, is it?" Melissa asked while scrunching her nose as if deep in intellectual thought.

"No, but nice try," Chandler smiled. "So, do you want to come in? I have no where to sit, but we could always pretend we're in a Japanese restaurant."

"That sounds.. Boring." Melissa smiled. "I say we go get something to sit on!"

"You mean go shopping?" Chandler asked wearily.

"No, I mean we make it out of cardboard boxes! Of course I mean go shopping!" Melissa exclaimed using large body language to illustrate her point.

"You know, you are so much like me that it is scary." Chandler smiled. She once again brightened up his day.

"Well, that's good. I like being scared." Melissa smiled.

"Cute." Chandler smiled.

"I know." Melissa grinned taking his arm. "Now, let's go make your place pretty!"

As the two walked away with linked arms, Monica stepped out from where she was hiding. That was the girl he was at the restaurant with, and now she's with him when he's been kicked down the most. Has he moved on? She didn't think so. As least they didn't seem like there were a couple. All Monica knew what that she was jealous. She shouldn't be, for their break up was based on the fact that she wanted another man; however, she wanted to be there for Chandler and hold him thus meaning she was jealous. Monica slowly ran her hands through her hair and began to dejectedly walk out of the building. She felt like she had lost him.

TBC

Yep, it wasn't the best, but oh well. It's leading somewhere hopefully. This series isn't getting much feedback.. *sad puppy dog eyes* You can say it sucks, I won't snap at you. :p