Steel(beak) Magnolias: Secret Fowl Man!
By Tinselcat
Disclaimer: Steelbeak, Bushroot, F.O.W.L., the eggmen and Saint Canard are property and creations of the Walt Disney company. They're used without permission. Dr. Kamo Quack belongs to me, thankyouverymuch
Rating: oh, I don't know, PG I guess, there's nothing too sinful in this chapter.
Summary: like I said, Bushroot makes his entrance, we find out what the hell is going on, and Dr. Kamo Quack has a cameo. (those of you who read Dynasty Ducks will recognize her. If you havn't, don't sweat it, the two stories really aren't related.) oh yeah, and there's some slashyness in this chapter, but nothing heavy (yet).
Notes: well, I know I said it'd probably take me a week to get this chapter up, but I thought that this one was already up, and realized it wasn't, and I've been working on it today and got quite a bit done, and I'm liking it so far, so here is the second chapter, hope you like it. (yes, that was all one sentence)
**********
The shadowy trio waited patiently in front of their screen, waiting for the F.O.W.L. logo to switch to the screen showing their infuriating, yet talented agent.
"Where is he?…" one of them asked to no one in particular.
"He should have been here fifteen minutes ago."
"Maybe we should find someone else to take this mission…"
"Everyone else of his experience is unavailable right now. We can't afford to have this mission fall through."
"Agreed, but-"
At that moment, the screen changed to show the Saint Canard base control room. On the screen was Steelbeak, but had they not been expecting him, it might have been hard to tell who stood before them. Their agent wore a wide- brimmed hat, pulled low over his face. A long beige trench coat, buttoned up to the top, covered him completely, only his metallic beak and his black and white shoes visible.
"I see we finally found time in our busy schedule to show up…" hissed one of the shadows.
"er… er, some'ting came up… er, da plumbing at my apartment is backed up. I 'ad ta call da plumbah before I left…" his voice cracked strangely.
"is something… wrong?" another silhouette asked, in a tone that made it clear that it wasn't Steelbeak's well-being that he was concerned with.
"er, er, just great. I gots a bit of a cold, but, eh, no biggie." His voice cracked again.
The three shadows exchanged looks, but continued to talk, "do you have the chemical solution?"
He presented the envelope, and produced the vial from inside.
"Good. As you know, this is a catalyst that can increase the speed of chemical reactions that must take place in order for certain acidic corrosive agents to work. It's big on the theiving equipment market. Fortunately, we already have a buyer." A picture of a middle-aged, paunchy canine came on the screen. His brown-furred skin drooped over his eyes, his ears flopped down. "This is Sir Percival Gruff. He's willing to pay us an excellent price for the catalyst. Tomorrow night he will be having dinner at the 'Seeking Skylines' restaurant. You will rendezvous with him there. He doesn't know what you look like. You will approach him and tell him 'fowls fly west this time of year.' That's how he'll know who you are."
"gee, youse guys must'a really wracked yer creative minds fer dat catch phrase."
The shadows visibly stiffened, but said, "you will make the exchange at the restaurant. Be there at 8:00, he'll be at a table in the back, by the windows. You are to receive the payment in cash in a briefcase. If something goes wrong, there will be an agent on the first floor of the building there to aid you. You know the 'fall-through' number."
"yeah."
"you're to call the base after you complete your mission."
"no problem."
the screen in front of Steelbeak switched back to the F.O.W.L. logo, leaving Steelbeak alone in the control room.
He exited the room, casually waving his I.D. tag at the security eggman at the door, not checking to see if the short bird actually saw it. He resisted the urge to whack it upside the head just because he was in that kind of mood.
What to do, what to do? He needed help, but who could he confide in? It was just his luck that he had one mission on top of another, at a time like this. He needed a scientist, that was for sure. This had to have something to do with the explosion at he chemistry lab he had broken into. His mind raced through the scientists he knew, mostly F.O.W.L. employees who would have far too much fun "researching" his little dilemma. Then the green face of a certain duck-plant hybrid came to mind. He didn't know the plant-nut too well, but considering his alternatives… he hurried to his car, and headed toward Bushroot's secluded greenhouse.
**********
After having slept the greater part of the day, and then going in for his meeting with F.O.W.L., it was already dusk when his metallic red Porsche pulled up as close to the plant-duck's greenhouse as he could get.
As he walked toward it, his hands thrust deep into his pockets, his shoulders hunched, he reviewed just how to get in: he could come through the roof and rappel down on a rope… nah, he didn't need to be that flashy. He could sneak in a window… but he had heard that the scientist had mutant- killer plants in his garden, and Steelbeak didn't fancy getting eaten by a plant, of all stupid things. In the end, he just went up to the door and knocked.
He heard a growling coming from inside. Then a soft voice saying "calm down spike, we don't know who it is… just stay there…" the door opened a crack, and a green face peeked out, "yes? Who is it?"
"It's Steelbeak. Let me in." he said gruffly, not wasting any time on his usual pointless pleasantries.
"er, uh, sure." Responded the duck, hastily moving aside as the taller bird pushed his way inside. "how can I help you?" asked Bushroot, closing the door behind Steelbeak.
"I gots a bit of a problem. I got no idea a'wat ta do about it. yer a scientist, I'm 'oping ya can fix this."
"Uh… fix what?"
Keeping the hat on, Steelbeak shed his large coat, revealing a shirt that looked oddly lumpy. He unbuttoned the first two buttons, and began pulling out articles of clothing, which had been stuffed into his shirt.
Bushroot looked on with eyes as big as saucers as, with every piece of clothing that came out of Steelbeak's shirt, the agent seemed to get smaller in the torso. Finally, the last piece of clothing (a rather hideous Hawaiian shirt) was pulled from inside the light blue silk shirt that Steelbeak wore. He reached up and took off his hat.
Bushroot clamped his leafy hands over his beak to keep from making some sort of shocked sound, probably somewhere between a scream and a laugh.
The red flap of skin which hung from Steelbeak's chin was gone, as was his proud red crest. Instead, locks of bright red hair fell about his shoulders. His shoulders were much narrower, and Bushroot could see that he was a few inches shorter. Sitting on his chest were two rather large breasts, and his hips curved outward from a narrower waist.
Bushroot made a series of small, squeaking sounds. Steelbeak was afraid that the scientist may faint, but then saw the twiching edges of his trembling mouth.
"don' even 'tink about it, dandelion-'ead…"
"s-sorry…" gasped Bushroot, "I- I just…" he abruptly spun around, his shoulders shaking violently, uttering more squeaking sounds he tried to trap in his throat. He finally regained his composure and turned around. "o- okay. Well, I see what you meant when you said you had a problem." he stifled the grin that pulled at the sides of his mouth.
"Yeah, I'd say I got a *big* problem! Youse could say my biggest problems're sittin' 'ere on my chest!" he scowled at his breasts as if they presented a personal insult to him.
"er, if it makes any difference, you look pretty good…"
Steelbeak gave him an acid, withering look.
"o-kay, well then, maybe you should tell me what happened, and I'll see if I can do something about your, er… situation."
Steelbeak sat dejectedly down on a nearby bench and sighed, "okay, well, y'see, I was doin' a mission fer F.O.W.L., dat involved stealin' from a chemistry lab. I accidentaly knocked ovah some chemicals, dere was an explosion, I managed to get 'ome, went ta bed, an' woke up like *dis*!" he gestured at his curvaceous figure.
"uh, are you… er…" Bushroot blushed.
"spit it out."
"umm… are you *all* female?… I mean,"
"I know what ya mean. An' yeah, I'm a goil from da waist down as well."
"well, this is certainly a problem." Bushroot sighed, his initial shyness dissipating in the face of a new scientific dilemma to think about, "I think I may be able to help you, but I can't do it myself. We need to contact another scientist." Bushroot headed over to the telephone, which was currently hidden by a plethora of crawling, flowering vines.
"'ey, who're ya callin'?" Steelbeak hurried after him nervously.
Bushroot shooed the vines away from the phone. They curled reluctantly away from it. "someone I met a week ago, when we were…" he stopped, and looked toward the lotus plant which resided in its own plastic tub nearby. Curled near it was his mutant venus fly-trap, spike. "er, it doesn't matter how we met, but she has some knowledge of biology in a more general sense, and probably knows as much about anatomy and genetics as I do about plants." He jabbered on as he dialed information, "botany and the other disciplines of biology really go hand-in-hand, and I'm sure the two of us can come up with some way to… hello? Yes, I'd like to contact a Dr. Kamo Quack… yes, here in the city… uh, her work place, please, if you have it."
Steelbeak raised an eyebrow at Bushroot.
Bushroot covered the receiver with his hand, "she keeps late hours." He uncovered it, "…yes, thank you very much." He waited as the phone rang, while Steelbeak paced back and forth. "Hello?" he said after several seconds "Dr. Quack?… This is Reg… er… Bushroot. Do you remember me? W-well, when you took that little, er, trip to egypt… Yeah, I'm the green one. I… yes, I know it's unexpected, and I realize you really don't know me very well, but I need your help with something. Could I meet you at your lab, with a… er… friend of mine?… No, I promise I'm not up to anything, contrary to my reputation… I'm sorry you're busy, but this is a scientific situation… I see, well, I understand if you're not up to a challenge, it would be very difficult… of course you can. Thank you, I'll see you in a few minutes." He hung up and smiled to himself.
"Who is dis broad, anyway?" Steelbeak crossed his arms over his chest. "Youse wouldn't be rattin' me out ta da police, would ya?"
Bushroot shook his hands in front of him, "no, of course not."
"good. Let's go." Steelbeak shrugged back into his overcoat and headed out the door. Spike growled at him as he passed. He glowered at the mutant plant, but decided against "making something of it".
**********
They rode in silence, Bushroot stealing furtive glances to the side to see Steelbeak, eyes intentely straight ahead, bright red hair blowing in the wind. Despite his change, he still looked comfortable in the slick car, as if he were born to drive it. Bushroot directed him to the University of Saint Canard science buildings. They pulled up in front of the main building in the sciences complex. Bushroot led the way, going to a door in the back of the building. Steelbeak followed, hunched into his coat, glowering ahead of him, as if the maincured lawn itself had insulted him. Bushroot knocked lightly on the door. It was opened by a be speckled duck woman with light brown feathers, tipped with dark brown, the same color as her rather unruly hair she kept tied behind her head. When she spotted Bushroot, she gave a hesitant smile, as if unsure if it was appropriate, which Bushroot returned shyly.
She saw Steelbeak nodded curtly to him, and gestured them both inside.
Within a few minutes they were all standing in Dr. Quack's lab room, Steelbeak looking expectantly at the two scientists Dr. Quack looked him up and down and Bushroot, arms crossed, judged her reaction.
"pretty amazing." Was all she could say after hearing Steelbeak's story.
"yeah. Whatever happened changed just the genotypes that make him male."
"in essence, his 'Y' became an 'X'."
"that's what I gathered."
"an impressive change."
"'ey!" Steelbeak snapped, grabbing the attention of the two scientists, "I could be menstruatin' over 'ere, an youse two're gabbin' about de damn alphabet!"
Dr. Quack adjusted her glasses on her bill, raising her eyebrows at the rooster-turned-chicken standing before her, "when we refer to 'X' and 'Y' we are, of course, referring to the two types of chromosomes that determine- "
"I don' give a damn wat dey determine!" Steelbeak waved his hands in the air frantically, "jus' fix it! I gots a meetin' wid a very important client t'marra night, an' I ain't goin' while still producin' estrogen!
Bushroot looked helplessly at Dr. Quack. she crossed her arms across her chest in a no-nonsense manner, "unfortunately, you may not have a choice. While I am certainly one of the greatest scientific minds ever to grace this city" she paused for dramatic effect, while Steelbeak gave her a strange look and Bushroot only sighed and rolled his eyes, "there are events which even an eminent, exalted genius such as myself cannot bring about without a small amount of aide. I shall have to speak with my colleague, a professor of biology and genetics about this. don't worry," she held up a hand to halt Steelbeak as he opened his mouth to object, "I shall be the utter soul of discretion. I'll introduce the topic as a theoretical subject of debate. If he can't think of something, I'd start shopping for bras."
Steelbeak slapped a palm to his forehead, "Jeezus, I'm gonna be stuck like dis forevah!"
Dr. Quack sniffed, "don't be so pessimistic. And I'd suggest getting out of that meeting, as I doubt you'll be back to your old self in time for it."
Bushroot thanked Dr. Quack and scheduled a time to check back with her the following evening. Steelbeak reluctantly gave her the number of his cell phone.
"I'm sure she'll think of something." Bushroot said as the pair walked back to Steelbeak's car, "I know she's got a big ego, but she really is quite smart."
"yeah, well, she'd bettah be." Steelbeak growled in reply.
Bushroot wilted slightly at the menacing tone of voice which Steelbeak used, but consoled himself that he had done nothing to bring it on. Hell, if *he'd* woke up to find he was a woman, he'd be grouchy, too. Once again, they rode in silence.
In ten minutes, Steelbeak pulled up near Bushroot's greenhouse to drop him off. "I'll be 'ere ta pick youse up at 5:00 sharp."
"w-what?" stammered Bushroot.
"wat, ya don't tink I'm doin dis meetin' by myself, do ya? Steelbeak always gots a lady on 'is arm, for da social occasions, an' since I don' tink da goils would react well ta dis situation, you're gonna be my date."
Bushroot stared at Steelbeak as if he'd spouted a second head. He dumbly got out of the car and closed the door, walking to his greenhouse in a stupor as Steelbeak sped off. He just couldn't believe it. Steelbeak, the suave, the savvy, the smooth, wanted him, Reginald Bushroot, to be his date. Hell, he could probably snatch up any guy in the city in his present state, yet, somehow, he'd be pulling up once again beside Bushroot's greenhouse at 5:00 tomorrow.
Bushroot tried to make sense of it all in his mind as he fumbled with the lock on his door. The only reason Steelbeak would take him out was because he knew about his problem. That was it. Why else would the secret agent be seen in public with him? He patted Spike on the head as he entered, closing and locking the door behind him. He flopped down into a large flowerpot and sighed. Whatever was he going to wear?
*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~
Notes on pronouns: so, now that you know what Steelie's situation is, you're probably wondering why I keep referring to Female-Steelie as a 'him'. Well, here's why: Steelbeak's change wasn't intentional, and he still thinks of himself as a 'him'. In this story, he's not a female; he's a guy who is quite literally trapped inside a female's body. So, there ya go, you don't have to yell at me about it now.
More notes: this is where I whine for reviews. Seriously, I'm not sure how I'm writing for Steelbeak, as I mentioned before, this is my first time (writing for Steelbeak, of course), so please let me know if I'm doing okay, or if I'm completely off the mark. I appreciate it, folks.
By Tinselcat
Disclaimer: Steelbeak, Bushroot, F.O.W.L., the eggmen and Saint Canard are property and creations of the Walt Disney company. They're used without permission. Dr. Kamo Quack belongs to me, thankyouverymuch
Rating: oh, I don't know, PG I guess, there's nothing too sinful in this chapter.
Summary: like I said, Bushroot makes his entrance, we find out what the hell is going on, and Dr. Kamo Quack has a cameo. (those of you who read Dynasty Ducks will recognize her. If you havn't, don't sweat it, the two stories really aren't related.) oh yeah, and there's some slashyness in this chapter, but nothing heavy (yet).
Notes: well, I know I said it'd probably take me a week to get this chapter up, but I thought that this one was already up, and realized it wasn't, and I've been working on it today and got quite a bit done, and I'm liking it so far, so here is the second chapter, hope you like it. (yes, that was all one sentence)
**********
The shadowy trio waited patiently in front of their screen, waiting for the F.O.W.L. logo to switch to the screen showing their infuriating, yet talented agent.
"Where is he?…" one of them asked to no one in particular.
"He should have been here fifteen minutes ago."
"Maybe we should find someone else to take this mission…"
"Everyone else of his experience is unavailable right now. We can't afford to have this mission fall through."
"Agreed, but-"
At that moment, the screen changed to show the Saint Canard base control room. On the screen was Steelbeak, but had they not been expecting him, it might have been hard to tell who stood before them. Their agent wore a wide- brimmed hat, pulled low over his face. A long beige trench coat, buttoned up to the top, covered him completely, only his metallic beak and his black and white shoes visible.
"I see we finally found time in our busy schedule to show up…" hissed one of the shadows.
"er… er, some'ting came up… er, da plumbing at my apartment is backed up. I 'ad ta call da plumbah before I left…" his voice cracked strangely.
"is something… wrong?" another silhouette asked, in a tone that made it clear that it wasn't Steelbeak's well-being that he was concerned with.
"er, er, just great. I gots a bit of a cold, but, eh, no biggie." His voice cracked again.
The three shadows exchanged looks, but continued to talk, "do you have the chemical solution?"
He presented the envelope, and produced the vial from inside.
"Good. As you know, this is a catalyst that can increase the speed of chemical reactions that must take place in order for certain acidic corrosive agents to work. It's big on the theiving equipment market. Fortunately, we already have a buyer." A picture of a middle-aged, paunchy canine came on the screen. His brown-furred skin drooped over his eyes, his ears flopped down. "This is Sir Percival Gruff. He's willing to pay us an excellent price for the catalyst. Tomorrow night he will be having dinner at the 'Seeking Skylines' restaurant. You will rendezvous with him there. He doesn't know what you look like. You will approach him and tell him 'fowls fly west this time of year.' That's how he'll know who you are."
"gee, youse guys must'a really wracked yer creative minds fer dat catch phrase."
The shadows visibly stiffened, but said, "you will make the exchange at the restaurant. Be there at 8:00, he'll be at a table in the back, by the windows. You are to receive the payment in cash in a briefcase. If something goes wrong, there will be an agent on the first floor of the building there to aid you. You know the 'fall-through' number."
"yeah."
"you're to call the base after you complete your mission."
"no problem."
the screen in front of Steelbeak switched back to the F.O.W.L. logo, leaving Steelbeak alone in the control room.
He exited the room, casually waving his I.D. tag at the security eggman at the door, not checking to see if the short bird actually saw it. He resisted the urge to whack it upside the head just because he was in that kind of mood.
What to do, what to do? He needed help, but who could he confide in? It was just his luck that he had one mission on top of another, at a time like this. He needed a scientist, that was for sure. This had to have something to do with the explosion at he chemistry lab he had broken into. His mind raced through the scientists he knew, mostly F.O.W.L. employees who would have far too much fun "researching" his little dilemma. Then the green face of a certain duck-plant hybrid came to mind. He didn't know the plant-nut too well, but considering his alternatives… he hurried to his car, and headed toward Bushroot's secluded greenhouse.
**********
After having slept the greater part of the day, and then going in for his meeting with F.O.W.L., it was already dusk when his metallic red Porsche pulled up as close to the plant-duck's greenhouse as he could get.
As he walked toward it, his hands thrust deep into his pockets, his shoulders hunched, he reviewed just how to get in: he could come through the roof and rappel down on a rope… nah, he didn't need to be that flashy. He could sneak in a window… but he had heard that the scientist had mutant- killer plants in his garden, and Steelbeak didn't fancy getting eaten by a plant, of all stupid things. In the end, he just went up to the door and knocked.
He heard a growling coming from inside. Then a soft voice saying "calm down spike, we don't know who it is… just stay there…" the door opened a crack, and a green face peeked out, "yes? Who is it?"
"It's Steelbeak. Let me in." he said gruffly, not wasting any time on his usual pointless pleasantries.
"er, uh, sure." Responded the duck, hastily moving aside as the taller bird pushed his way inside. "how can I help you?" asked Bushroot, closing the door behind Steelbeak.
"I gots a bit of a problem. I got no idea a'wat ta do about it. yer a scientist, I'm 'oping ya can fix this."
"Uh… fix what?"
Keeping the hat on, Steelbeak shed his large coat, revealing a shirt that looked oddly lumpy. He unbuttoned the first two buttons, and began pulling out articles of clothing, which had been stuffed into his shirt.
Bushroot looked on with eyes as big as saucers as, with every piece of clothing that came out of Steelbeak's shirt, the agent seemed to get smaller in the torso. Finally, the last piece of clothing (a rather hideous Hawaiian shirt) was pulled from inside the light blue silk shirt that Steelbeak wore. He reached up and took off his hat.
Bushroot clamped his leafy hands over his beak to keep from making some sort of shocked sound, probably somewhere between a scream and a laugh.
The red flap of skin which hung from Steelbeak's chin was gone, as was his proud red crest. Instead, locks of bright red hair fell about his shoulders. His shoulders were much narrower, and Bushroot could see that he was a few inches shorter. Sitting on his chest were two rather large breasts, and his hips curved outward from a narrower waist.
Bushroot made a series of small, squeaking sounds. Steelbeak was afraid that the scientist may faint, but then saw the twiching edges of his trembling mouth.
"don' even 'tink about it, dandelion-'ead…"
"s-sorry…" gasped Bushroot, "I- I just…" he abruptly spun around, his shoulders shaking violently, uttering more squeaking sounds he tried to trap in his throat. He finally regained his composure and turned around. "o- okay. Well, I see what you meant when you said you had a problem." he stifled the grin that pulled at the sides of his mouth.
"Yeah, I'd say I got a *big* problem! Youse could say my biggest problems're sittin' 'ere on my chest!" he scowled at his breasts as if they presented a personal insult to him.
"er, if it makes any difference, you look pretty good…"
Steelbeak gave him an acid, withering look.
"o-kay, well then, maybe you should tell me what happened, and I'll see if I can do something about your, er… situation."
Steelbeak sat dejectedly down on a nearby bench and sighed, "okay, well, y'see, I was doin' a mission fer F.O.W.L., dat involved stealin' from a chemistry lab. I accidentaly knocked ovah some chemicals, dere was an explosion, I managed to get 'ome, went ta bed, an' woke up like *dis*!" he gestured at his curvaceous figure.
"uh, are you… er…" Bushroot blushed.
"spit it out."
"umm… are you *all* female?… I mean,"
"I know what ya mean. An' yeah, I'm a goil from da waist down as well."
"well, this is certainly a problem." Bushroot sighed, his initial shyness dissipating in the face of a new scientific dilemma to think about, "I think I may be able to help you, but I can't do it myself. We need to contact another scientist." Bushroot headed over to the telephone, which was currently hidden by a plethora of crawling, flowering vines.
"'ey, who're ya callin'?" Steelbeak hurried after him nervously.
Bushroot shooed the vines away from the phone. They curled reluctantly away from it. "someone I met a week ago, when we were…" he stopped, and looked toward the lotus plant which resided in its own plastic tub nearby. Curled near it was his mutant venus fly-trap, spike. "er, it doesn't matter how we met, but she has some knowledge of biology in a more general sense, and probably knows as much about anatomy and genetics as I do about plants." He jabbered on as he dialed information, "botany and the other disciplines of biology really go hand-in-hand, and I'm sure the two of us can come up with some way to… hello? Yes, I'd like to contact a Dr. Kamo Quack… yes, here in the city… uh, her work place, please, if you have it."
Steelbeak raised an eyebrow at Bushroot.
Bushroot covered the receiver with his hand, "she keeps late hours." He uncovered it, "…yes, thank you very much." He waited as the phone rang, while Steelbeak paced back and forth. "Hello?" he said after several seconds "Dr. Quack?… This is Reg… er… Bushroot. Do you remember me? W-well, when you took that little, er, trip to egypt… Yeah, I'm the green one. I… yes, I know it's unexpected, and I realize you really don't know me very well, but I need your help with something. Could I meet you at your lab, with a… er… friend of mine?… No, I promise I'm not up to anything, contrary to my reputation… I'm sorry you're busy, but this is a scientific situation… I see, well, I understand if you're not up to a challenge, it would be very difficult… of course you can. Thank you, I'll see you in a few minutes." He hung up and smiled to himself.
"Who is dis broad, anyway?" Steelbeak crossed his arms over his chest. "Youse wouldn't be rattin' me out ta da police, would ya?"
Bushroot shook his hands in front of him, "no, of course not."
"good. Let's go." Steelbeak shrugged back into his overcoat and headed out the door. Spike growled at him as he passed. He glowered at the mutant plant, but decided against "making something of it".
**********
They rode in silence, Bushroot stealing furtive glances to the side to see Steelbeak, eyes intentely straight ahead, bright red hair blowing in the wind. Despite his change, he still looked comfortable in the slick car, as if he were born to drive it. Bushroot directed him to the University of Saint Canard science buildings. They pulled up in front of the main building in the sciences complex. Bushroot led the way, going to a door in the back of the building. Steelbeak followed, hunched into his coat, glowering ahead of him, as if the maincured lawn itself had insulted him. Bushroot knocked lightly on the door. It was opened by a be speckled duck woman with light brown feathers, tipped with dark brown, the same color as her rather unruly hair she kept tied behind her head. When she spotted Bushroot, she gave a hesitant smile, as if unsure if it was appropriate, which Bushroot returned shyly.
She saw Steelbeak nodded curtly to him, and gestured them both inside.
Within a few minutes they were all standing in Dr. Quack's lab room, Steelbeak looking expectantly at the two scientists Dr. Quack looked him up and down and Bushroot, arms crossed, judged her reaction.
"pretty amazing." Was all she could say after hearing Steelbeak's story.
"yeah. Whatever happened changed just the genotypes that make him male."
"in essence, his 'Y' became an 'X'."
"that's what I gathered."
"an impressive change."
"'ey!" Steelbeak snapped, grabbing the attention of the two scientists, "I could be menstruatin' over 'ere, an youse two're gabbin' about de damn alphabet!"
Dr. Quack adjusted her glasses on her bill, raising her eyebrows at the rooster-turned-chicken standing before her, "when we refer to 'X' and 'Y' we are, of course, referring to the two types of chromosomes that determine- "
"I don' give a damn wat dey determine!" Steelbeak waved his hands in the air frantically, "jus' fix it! I gots a meetin' wid a very important client t'marra night, an' I ain't goin' while still producin' estrogen!
Bushroot looked helplessly at Dr. Quack. she crossed her arms across her chest in a no-nonsense manner, "unfortunately, you may not have a choice. While I am certainly one of the greatest scientific minds ever to grace this city" she paused for dramatic effect, while Steelbeak gave her a strange look and Bushroot only sighed and rolled his eyes, "there are events which even an eminent, exalted genius such as myself cannot bring about without a small amount of aide. I shall have to speak with my colleague, a professor of biology and genetics about this. don't worry," she held up a hand to halt Steelbeak as he opened his mouth to object, "I shall be the utter soul of discretion. I'll introduce the topic as a theoretical subject of debate. If he can't think of something, I'd start shopping for bras."
Steelbeak slapped a palm to his forehead, "Jeezus, I'm gonna be stuck like dis forevah!"
Dr. Quack sniffed, "don't be so pessimistic. And I'd suggest getting out of that meeting, as I doubt you'll be back to your old self in time for it."
Bushroot thanked Dr. Quack and scheduled a time to check back with her the following evening. Steelbeak reluctantly gave her the number of his cell phone.
"I'm sure she'll think of something." Bushroot said as the pair walked back to Steelbeak's car, "I know she's got a big ego, but she really is quite smart."
"yeah, well, she'd bettah be." Steelbeak growled in reply.
Bushroot wilted slightly at the menacing tone of voice which Steelbeak used, but consoled himself that he had done nothing to bring it on. Hell, if *he'd* woke up to find he was a woman, he'd be grouchy, too. Once again, they rode in silence.
In ten minutes, Steelbeak pulled up near Bushroot's greenhouse to drop him off. "I'll be 'ere ta pick youse up at 5:00 sharp."
"w-what?" stammered Bushroot.
"wat, ya don't tink I'm doin dis meetin' by myself, do ya? Steelbeak always gots a lady on 'is arm, for da social occasions, an' since I don' tink da goils would react well ta dis situation, you're gonna be my date."
Bushroot stared at Steelbeak as if he'd spouted a second head. He dumbly got out of the car and closed the door, walking to his greenhouse in a stupor as Steelbeak sped off. He just couldn't believe it. Steelbeak, the suave, the savvy, the smooth, wanted him, Reginald Bushroot, to be his date. Hell, he could probably snatch up any guy in the city in his present state, yet, somehow, he'd be pulling up once again beside Bushroot's greenhouse at 5:00 tomorrow.
Bushroot tried to make sense of it all in his mind as he fumbled with the lock on his door. The only reason Steelbeak would take him out was because he knew about his problem. That was it. Why else would the secret agent be seen in public with him? He patted Spike on the head as he entered, closing and locking the door behind him. He flopped down into a large flowerpot and sighed. Whatever was he going to wear?
*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~
Notes on pronouns: so, now that you know what Steelie's situation is, you're probably wondering why I keep referring to Female-Steelie as a 'him'. Well, here's why: Steelbeak's change wasn't intentional, and he still thinks of himself as a 'him'. In this story, he's not a female; he's a guy who is quite literally trapped inside a female's body. So, there ya go, you don't have to yell at me about it now.
More notes: this is where I whine for reviews. Seriously, I'm not sure how I'm writing for Steelbeak, as I mentioned before, this is my first time (writing for Steelbeak, of course), so please let me know if I'm doing okay, or if I'm completely off the mark. I appreciate it, folks.
