Chapter 5
"Zack! Wait up!" I cried from down the hall.
"Hey Man! Whazzup?" he asked as he spun around.
"I met this girl…I really wanna impress her…" I mumbled shyly.
"Ah…I see and you've come to DA MASTA for help!" Zack boasted.
"Well…if you can give me a few pointers…that'd be great…"
"YEAHHHH MAN! I'm the King when it comes to women. They adore me! Hehehehe…"Zack flaunted.
"…"
"Yeah! Let's get started!" He dragged me by the ear!
"WHERE ARE WE GOING!" I yelped.
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*drumming can be heard as we enter * Teach me Zackster!* Marsh!
"So Zack…what are we gonna learn today?" I asked sitting on the uneven ground.
"Something cool! But you can't call me Zack! You have to call me SENSAY! Bwahahahahhahahaha! *hack. *coughs."
"Fine…Sensay" I shuddered at thinking Zack as my boss… "Can you bestow your wisdom of girls upon me?"
"Of course!" Zack boasted. "But you have to take an oath"
'Alright…." I raised my right hand.
"now repeat after me. I, Cloud Strife, do solemnly swear not to use this knowledge about women about to be bestowed on me against Zack Tribal in any way and will not use it to steal his women whatsoever or show him up!"
I blinked…kayy… ", Cloud Strife, do solemnly swear not to use this knowledge about women about to be bestowed on me against Zack Tribal in any way and will not use it to steal his women whatsoever or show him up!"
"GOOD" Zack squealed. *faces camera. Choose a topic!
*Menu pops up with two choices:
1.Pick up lines
2. Techniques!
Zack faces camera again! "We shall start with Techniques! Cloud there is only one technique that I recommend. It has 87% success rate!"
"Oh really what is that???" I asked eagerly.
"Its really simple…" He trailed." Its called BEND and SNAP!"
"Bend...and snap?" I repeated.
"YES YES! This is how it works!" he said enthusiastically as he scampered to demonstrate.
"You walk up to the girl and then bump into her and make her drop something. THEN you pick it up slowly bending like this" He bent slowly. "And then suddenly snapping yourself back into position like this!" he snapped back into standing position.
"Uhh…are you sure that works..?" I groped.
"Of course! Works for me!" he smiled.
I hadn't known Zack for long. But he did seem confident with women..
"Okay.." I practiced…"Like that?"
"YUP! You're getting just as good as the MASTA himself!" he grinned.
"Okay! How about pick up lines?" I asked eagerly.
"Ahh…these are great! I have a few for you to choose from. But before I give them to you, you must learn "the look"!
"Look?"
"You know "the look" the one that says… "how ya doin' babbeeeeeeee!" Zack explained.
"ahh…" I looked at him totally clueless.
"Here let me demonstrate Young one!" Zack cleared his throat and gave me a sultry look cocking his eyebrows up and down.
"uhh….okay.." I said slowly.
"Alrighty! Pick up line #1! Take down notes okay? I ain't repeating these!"
I leaned in closer with my pen and paper ready.
"You say to her… "Baby… are your legs tired? Cause you've been running through my mind all night long!" He beamed!
"Wow…that one was good!" I said enthusiastically.
"It works too! Chicks dig that romantic crap!" he bubbled. "Don't forget the look and put your arm around her."
I jotted this down.
"Pick up line #2! Ask her… Did it hurt? Naturally she'll say " what?" and then you ask her again "Did it hurt?" and then she'll say "what?" AND THEN you say…did it hurt falling from heaven to earth because you're an angel!" He beamed again.
"whoa…" I looked at him with admiration. He knew what he was talking about!
"Now the final pick up line! Its 100% workable!" He beamed.
I listened with anticipation.
I wonder what it could be..?
" Pick up line #3! You say to her… "Honey….are those astronaut pants? Because your ass is out of this world!" He grinned.
I blinked.
"It's a sure fired pick up line. All the girls react to it!" He smiled.
"If you say so… you're the sensay.." I said unsure.
"Now my son, you have completed training and are now able to wander anywhere on this earth and pick up women!" He said solemnly putting his hand on my shoulder.
I bowed to him. "Thanks Zack!"
"Now go, find the girl you are seekin' and use those lines and techniques!"
I bowed again and ran off to find the girl completely confident with the advice Zack gave me.
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stay tuned for the next chapter:
Will Cloud be successful with that girl?
Is Zack's advice correct?
Or is it all disaster?
Please R & R!
