Chapter Three
Angel cast his gaze toward the front of the Winnebago where Dawn sat next to Cordy talking animatedly about something feminine and mysterious while Wesley drove. Angel looked over at Spike who was stretched out on the bench seat, looking too tense to actually sleep.
"Want to tell me about it?"
"Don't know what you mean," Spike said, pulling out his cigarettes. He tore off the filter, put it in his mouth and sucked the bare end of it before tossing it aside disgustedly. He gave Angel a plaintive look.
"No!"
"Bloody hell."
"Tell me why you and Dawn looked ready to come out of yours skins from the moment you both got into this RV. I don't know how long Cordy can keep her distracted and I can't help if I don't know what the problem is."
Spike sighed, tossing an arm over his eyes. "Towards the end, we were at a loss as to how to protect Dawn. We still didn't know how to defeat Glory and she was too close to us. She turned Tara into a blithering idiot. She tortured me nearly to death. We knew we couldn't beat her so we ran," Spike said woodenly, as if trying to distance himself from the memory
"Ran?" That came out as a whisper of disbelief.
Spike dropped his arm and gave Angel a defiant look. "We had no bloody choice. Call it strategic withdrawal.we did. I rented us an RV, nothing as nice as this," Spike said lowly, sitting up with a wave around at the state of the art vehicle. "But it was the best the Slayer and I could afford. The damn thing had no pick up.maybe if it had things would have been different." Spike broke off with a melancholy look. Angel scooted closer, so Spike wouldn't have to talk loud enough to be overheard. "These wankers who didn't seem to know the Middle Ages were over caught up to us. That damn RV couldn't even outrun horses. They wanted to kill Dawn before Glory could use her. We had to fight them, which with Willow worrying after Tara and it being sun-up meant Buffy had to fight more or less alone. If things had ended differently, if she hadn't died." Spike trailed off, turning his gaze to the front of the RV. He shaded his eyes, tearing from the sunlight spilling in the windshield. "Maybe it's better she did."
Angel stared at him, stunned at that statement. "What happened Spike?"
"Angel she fought regular humans. A few of them got flung off the top of a moving RV. For all I know, they died.." Spike gave Angel a look of muted horror at the implications. "She hurt humans to protect Dawn. I don't know if she could have lived with the consequences of that," he whispered.
Angel pulled an involuntary breath into dead lungs, shocked to the core by the revelation. "Two Slayers with human blood on their hands," he muttered, thinking of Faith.
"In the end, even that wasn't enough." Spike's pale eyes caught Angel's for a moment then flicked away. "I nearly lost both hands to a sword. We almost made it then Giles took a spear to the gut and crashed the RV. That was the longest hike of our lives to this abandoned building with Rupert bleeding to death and me trying not to burn. That's when we made our fatal mistake." Spike trailed a finger over the seat.
"What mistake?" Angel prompted. Willow hadn't told Angel this part. Neither had Dawn or he wouldn't have agreed to take her cross county and make her relive this.
"Buffy couldn't let her Watcher die and there was nothing we could do to help. I couldn't even put him out of his misery, as if Buffy would have let me." Spike shut his eyes against the memories. "So she called in help. Ben."
Angel cocked his head slightly, not recognizing the name.
Spike ran a hand through his slicked-back hair. "Of all the people she could have called for help.he had medical training sure. I think she liked him a little, especially after commando boy ran out on her." He traded looks with Angel again and took from Angel's expression they both hated Riley for pretty much the same reasons. "We didn't know then that Ben was Glory's human cage. We thought Ben's nervousness, his wanting to run the hell on out of there was because of the guys with the swords. He stabilized Giles but then bam. He turned into Glory, grabbed Dawn and that was it! The beginning of the end and I was the only one who realized it. Glory could shield the transformation from human eyes but not mine. Not that it mattered. It was over then and we knew it." Spike took out his cigarettes again, fiddling with the pack before dropping it on the seat beside him. "So, that's why being in here, in an RV's got Dawny and me jumpy."
"You should have told me before we brought her out here."
Spike laughed. "If you think that would have stopped her, you don't know Dawn."
Angel mulled over that then said softly, "Willow said there wasn't anything I could have done if I'd been there instead of rescuing Cordy. But maybe.."
"It ain't worth going there, Liam," Spike whispered.
Angel startled. It had been a long time since he had heard Spike call him by his given name and he wasn't sure he had ever done so without making it sound like a four-letter word before. He moved a hand close to Spike's pack of smokes, contemplating taking one for himself but restrained himself. Angelus smoked, he more or less didn't.
"Maybe if you and I had both been on that tower we could have stopped Doc from starting the ceremony. But you weren't there and I wasn't enough. No matter how much we want to, we can't change that. Dawn being alive and Glory dead, we have to take comfort in that," Spike said but the words sounded hollow even to him.
"But is Glory dead?"
Spike frowned and unfurled himself on the seat, shoving his legs between Angel and the back of the bench. "We think so. She went back into Ben and Ben's dead. That was Glory's only weakness; she could be hurt in that form. I'm not sure which of us killed him. My money's on Rupert."
Both vampires fell silent for a time.
"It wasn't her death. It wasn't her time," Spike muttered, not looking at Angel.
"I know."
Spike nudged Angel's back with his knee. "Dru told me that this law firm of yours brought Darla back to life as a human."
Angel nodded. "They did."
"Didn't this Lindsey bloke work for them?"
"Yeah."
"Was he there when they mojo'ed Darla back?" Spike asked.
Angel gave Spike a look, thinking he knew where Spike was heading with this. It was a place he had gone to himself a few times since he heard the news of Buffy's death. "I tried to stop them.wasn't even sure what they were trying to do just that it wasn't good. I didn't succeed but I didn manage to cut off Lindsey's hand."
Spike pulled a face. "And you're expecting him to help us?"
Angel gave a short bitter laugh. "It gets worse. He's in love with Darla."
"Another one with poor taste in love."
Angel chose to ignore that slight. "Second to last time I saw Lindsey he ran me over with his truck and tried to finish me off with a shovel."
Spike's lips quirked up. "Well, you do have that effect on people, Peaches."
Angel snarled at him but was somehow relieved to see a hint of Spike's usual acerbic wit returning
"What did you do to this lawyer besides cut off his hand to get him so worked up? Darla wanted you back. Dru told me that."
"She almost got me. We.well, you know and Lindsey must have found out about it." Angel glanced away, acutely embarrassed about having had sex with Darla again. Worse was the memory that he had been ready to shuck his shreds of humanity and give in to being Angelus just to end his torment.
Spike arched an eyebrow. "I didn't think you could do that any more without becoming Angelus again."
"Seems I can so long as it doesn't bring me real happiness. Turns out Darla just doesn't make me happy."
"That's because she defines the word bitch." Spike made a face, the scar over his eye twisting. "I've never liked the bint."
"The feeling was mutual, Spike."
"So why do you think this Lindsey will help?"
"I'm not sure he will."
"Then we'll make him. I'm thinking.he was there when Darla came back. He knows how it was done." Spike stopped and glanced up at Dawn to make sure she wasn't listening.
Angel swallowed hard certain now Spike was thinking along the same lines, lines he hadn't dared voice to anyone, especially not Dawn. It had taken him time to get past his pain to even remember the books they had brought back from Pylea; the wolf, ram and hart and the scroll he had taken from Lindsey's severed hand. "I've considered it, Spike."
"It was part of the reason I came to L.A..to talk to you about it. I'm still not sure it's the right thing to do even if it makes us happy. What if it's the wrong thing to do? For all we know, she's at peace and won't be happy to be brought back.even if she remembers being dead," Spike said.
"I've considered that.wrestled with it. I spent five hundred years in hell when I died to stop Acathla and I remember it all. Would memories of heaven be even more haunting? Would she really want to be the Slayer again?" Angel let his head fall back against the wall.
"She could be just a normal girl for all we know. Another Slayer's been chosen by now ...maybe. Giles hadn't heard anything about a new one. Still, there's Faith."
"Normal.wouldn't that be nice," Angel whispered then glanced up at Dawn. "Keep quiet about this Spike. I don't want Dawn to know.not yet. Not until we're sure it can be done.if it should be done."
Spike nodded, shutting his eyes. "We ought to try to get some sleep, Angel, or we'll fall asleep at the wheel later."
Angel cast his gaze toward the front of the Winnebago where Dawn sat next to Cordy talking animatedly about something feminine and mysterious while Wesley drove. Angel looked over at Spike who was stretched out on the bench seat, looking too tense to actually sleep.
"Want to tell me about it?"
"Don't know what you mean," Spike said, pulling out his cigarettes. He tore off the filter, put it in his mouth and sucked the bare end of it before tossing it aside disgustedly. He gave Angel a plaintive look.
"No!"
"Bloody hell."
"Tell me why you and Dawn looked ready to come out of yours skins from the moment you both got into this RV. I don't know how long Cordy can keep her distracted and I can't help if I don't know what the problem is."
Spike sighed, tossing an arm over his eyes. "Towards the end, we were at a loss as to how to protect Dawn. We still didn't know how to defeat Glory and she was too close to us. She turned Tara into a blithering idiot. She tortured me nearly to death. We knew we couldn't beat her so we ran," Spike said woodenly, as if trying to distance himself from the memory
"Ran?" That came out as a whisper of disbelief.
Spike dropped his arm and gave Angel a defiant look. "We had no bloody choice. Call it strategic withdrawal.we did. I rented us an RV, nothing as nice as this," Spike said lowly, sitting up with a wave around at the state of the art vehicle. "But it was the best the Slayer and I could afford. The damn thing had no pick up.maybe if it had things would have been different." Spike broke off with a melancholy look. Angel scooted closer, so Spike wouldn't have to talk loud enough to be overheard. "These wankers who didn't seem to know the Middle Ages were over caught up to us. That damn RV couldn't even outrun horses. They wanted to kill Dawn before Glory could use her. We had to fight them, which with Willow worrying after Tara and it being sun-up meant Buffy had to fight more or less alone. If things had ended differently, if she hadn't died." Spike trailed off, turning his gaze to the front of the RV. He shaded his eyes, tearing from the sunlight spilling in the windshield. "Maybe it's better she did."
Angel stared at him, stunned at that statement. "What happened Spike?"
"Angel she fought regular humans. A few of them got flung off the top of a moving RV. For all I know, they died.." Spike gave Angel a look of muted horror at the implications. "She hurt humans to protect Dawn. I don't know if she could have lived with the consequences of that," he whispered.
Angel pulled an involuntary breath into dead lungs, shocked to the core by the revelation. "Two Slayers with human blood on their hands," he muttered, thinking of Faith.
"In the end, even that wasn't enough." Spike's pale eyes caught Angel's for a moment then flicked away. "I nearly lost both hands to a sword. We almost made it then Giles took a spear to the gut and crashed the RV. That was the longest hike of our lives to this abandoned building with Rupert bleeding to death and me trying not to burn. That's when we made our fatal mistake." Spike trailed a finger over the seat.
"What mistake?" Angel prompted. Willow hadn't told Angel this part. Neither had Dawn or he wouldn't have agreed to take her cross county and make her relive this.
"Buffy couldn't let her Watcher die and there was nothing we could do to help. I couldn't even put him out of his misery, as if Buffy would have let me." Spike shut his eyes against the memories. "So she called in help. Ben."
Angel cocked his head slightly, not recognizing the name.
Spike ran a hand through his slicked-back hair. "Of all the people she could have called for help.he had medical training sure. I think she liked him a little, especially after commando boy ran out on her." He traded looks with Angel again and took from Angel's expression they both hated Riley for pretty much the same reasons. "We didn't know then that Ben was Glory's human cage. We thought Ben's nervousness, his wanting to run the hell on out of there was because of the guys with the swords. He stabilized Giles but then bam. He turned into Glory, grabbed Dawn and that was it! The beginning of the end and I was the only one who realized it. Glory could shield the transformation from human eyes but not mine. Not that it mattered. It was over then and we knew it." Spike took out his cigarettes again, fiddling with the pack before dropping it on the seat beside him. "So, that's why being in here, in an RV's got Dawny and me jumpy."
"You should have told me before we brought her out here."
Spike laughed. "If you think that would have stopped her, you don't know Dawn."
Angel mulled over that then said softly, "Willow said there wasn't anything I could have done if I'd been there instead of rescuing Cordy. But maybe.."
"It ain't worth going there, Liam," Spike whispered.
Angel startled. It had been a long time since he had heard Spike call him by his given name and he wasn't sure he had ever done so without making it sound like a four-letter word before. He moved a hand close to Spike's pack of smokes, contemplating taking one for himself but restrained himself. Angelus smoked, he more or less didn't.
"Maybe if you and I had both been on that tower we could have stopped Doc from starting the ceremony. But you weren't there and I wasn't enough. No matter how much we want to, we can't change that. Dawn being alive and Glory dead, we have to take comfort in that," Spike said but the words sounded hollow even to him.
"But is Glory dead?"
Spike frowned and unfurled himself on the seat, shoving his legs between Angel and the back of the bench. "We think so. She went back into Ben and Ben's dead. That was Glory's only weakness; she could be hurt in that form. I'm not sure which of us killed him. My money's on Rupert."
Both vampires fell silent for a time.
"It wasn't her death. It wasn't her time," Spike muttered, not looking at Angel.
"I know."
Spike nudged Angel's back with his knee. "Dru told me that this law firm of yours brought Darla back to life as a human."
Angel nodded. "They did."
"Didn't this Lindsey bloke work for them?"
"Yeah."
"Was he there when they mojo'ed Darla back?" Spike asked.
Angel gave Spike a look, thinking he knew where Spike was heading with this. It was a place he had gone to himself a few times since he heard the news of Buffy's death. "I tried to stop them.wasn't even sure what they were trying to do just that it wasn't good. I didn't succeed but I didn manage to cut off Lindsey's hand."
Spike pulled a face. "And you're expecting him to help us?"
Angel gave a short bitter laugh. "It gets worse. He's in love with Darla."
"Another one with poor taste in love."
Angel chose to ignore that slight. "Second to last time I saw Lindsey he ran me over with his truck and tried to finish me off with a shovel."
Spike's lips quirked up. "Well, you do have that effect on people, Peaches."
Angel snarled at him but was somehow relieved to see a hint of Spike's usual acerbic wit returning
"What did you do to this lawyer besides cut off his hand to get him so worked up? Darla wanted you back. Dru told me that."
"She almost got me. We.well, you know and Lindsey must have found out about it." Angel glanced away, acutely embarrassed about having had sex with Darla again. Worse was the memory that he had been ready to shuck his shreds of humanity and give in to being Angelus just to end his torment.
Spike arched an eyebrow. "I didn't think you could do that any more without becoming Angelus again."
"Seems I can so long as it doesn't bring me real happiness. Turns out Darla just doesn't make me happy."
"That's because she defines the word bitch." Spike made a face, the scar over his eye twisting. "I've never liked the bint."
"The feeling was mutual, Spike."
"So why do you think this Lindsey will help?"
"I'm not sure he will."
"Then we'll make him. I'm thinking.he was there when Darla came back. He knows how it was done." Spike stopped and glanced up at Dawn to make sure she wasn't listening.
Angel swallowed hard certain now Spike was thinking along the same lines, lines he hadn't dared voice to anyone, especially not Dawn. It had taken him time to get past his pain to even remember the books they had brought back from Pylea; the wolf, ram and hart and the scroll he had taken from Lindsey's severed hand. "I've considered it, Spike."
"It was part of the reason I came to L.A..to talk to you about it. I'm still not sure it's the right thing to do even if it makes us happy. What if it's the wrong thing to do? For all we know, she's at peace and won't be happy to be brought back.even if she remembers being dead," Spike said.
"I've considered that.wrestled with it. I spent five hundred years in hell when I died to stop Acathla and I remember it all. Would memories of heaven be even more haunting? Would she really want to be the Slayer again?" Angel let his head fall back against the wall.
"She could be just a normal girl for all we know. Another Slayer's been chosen by now ...maybe. Giles hadn't heard anything about a new one. Still, there's Faith."
"Normal.wouldn't that be nice," Angel whispered then glanced up at Dawn. "Keep quiet about this Spike. I don't want Dawn to know.not yet. Not until we're sure it can be done.if it should be done."
Spike nodded, shutting his eyes. "We ought to try to get some sleep, Angel, or we'll fall asleep at the wheel later."
