Title: Falling from You
Author: Sphynx
Pairings: past 3x4
Warnings/Notes: Death (well, supposedly), ANGST! serious angst, yaoi (do I even have to say this anymore?). I am a sick, sick person. Why do I keep killing off the boys?
Disclaimers: If I owned the characters or the song, I would be rich. The boys belong to their creators, and the song "Your House" is by Alanis Morisette
//I went to your house
Walked up the stairs
Opened the door without ringing the bell
Walked down the hall
Into your room where I could smell you//
It was really that simple. He just left, not even saying a word. Not a damned word. But why? Did I do something wrong? Was there something about me that just wasn't good enough for him? And now I am alone and I don't know why. I don't know why.
I cried. People think I am weak because I cry, but they're wrong. If I hadn't cried that day, then I wouldn't be able to handle the pent up emotion that was raging inside of me. The pain that he caused.
//And I shouldn't be here
Without permission
Shouldn't be here...//
I wanted to find him. Tell him I was sorry. Ask him why he left. It wasn't hard. Not when it could have been impossible. He was living in New York, in a small dingy apartment.
Everything there screamed of him. The discarded pile of clothes waiting to be washed. The clean dishes in the dish rack, left to dry when he went to work. Yes, I knew that he had gone to work. I had in fact planned it so that he would find me.
//Would you forgive me love if I danced in your shower
Would you forgive me love if I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love if I stay all afternoon?//
It was horrible. Seeing his stuff, the stuff that had been in my house just a few months ago. And seeing the stuff that he had gotten since he left. It just showed that life went on.
Cold, so cold, without him. I shivered as I walked around, looking in front room. Sitting on the couch I looked around, seeing the bare walls and sparse furniture. Only the bedroom had been truly lived in, but the sitting room screamed his name just as loudly. The sparseness his outer mask to the world.
// I took off my clothes
put on your robe
went through your drawers
and I found your cologne//
I feel so terrible now, sitting in his bedroom, on his bed, crying. In my head the day he left plays over and over again, a never-ending track of memory. It's been hours since I got here. I've wandered and paced back and forth. Back and forth.
//went down to the den
found your cd's
and I played your Joni//
Time and time again I paced. Until I finally stopped in the bedroom, collapsing on his bed. And so here I am crying, crying. I thought that I had my emotions under control, that I would be able to come here and be at peace finally. But no. I won't let myself be at peace,
I realize now as I sit here that I shouldn't have come, I was just asking for emotional torture when I picked the lock on the door. Why? Why did he leave me?
//and I shouldn't stay long
you might be home soon
shouldn't stay long//
I can't leave. I'm caught now. Cuaght in the emotions playing through me like fire. The sound of his voice is in my ears, and his smell is everywhere. Everywhere. I've gone through the whole apartment now, dozens of times. Help me Allah, I don't know how to deal with being confronted with him everywhere.
//Would you forgive me love if I danced in your shower
Would you forgive me love if I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love if I stay all afternoon?//
There it is, in his bathroom, the shampoo that I love. The smell so clean and sweet, so utterly simple. I sniff it and my memory pulls around me again, showing me times when we had just gotten out of the shower, clean after a day outdoors. Times when I came home from work and there you were freshly showered waiting for me. My love, how I miss him now more than ever, his familiar scents surrounding me.
//I burned your incense
I ran a bath//
I'm not content just wandering around picking up the things he leaves out, carressing them, thinking of him using them everyday. I rifle through his desk, searching for some sign he misses me as I miss him. But why would he? He was the one who left. His personal things speak volumes about his life. About how he feels and lives now. And then it falls out. The note with my best friend's writing on it. And I know that there is nothing left in life for me, not without him.
//I noticed a letter that sat on your desk
It said:
"Hello, love.
I love you so, love.
Meet me at midnight."
And no, it wasn't my writing
I'd better go soon
It wasn't my writing//
Allah preserve me, I don't know what to do. He left me for one I trusted. And I don't know whether they are together. I am lost, so lost. I can only think of the pain within my heart as I pick up the knife that you left so carelessly in the dishrack. The knife that brings the ruby drops from under my skin. Trowa, why?
//So forgive me love If I cry in your shower
So forgive me love for the salt in your bed
So forgive me love If I cry all afternoon//
Wait! Is that his voice I hear calling my name? Oh, Allah! It is him, my sweet Trowa has caught me in his house like a common thief. But I'm falling, falling towards light and brightness. A place I don't deserve.
"QUATRE! NO!"
The last thing I hear before everything goes dark, my beloved's arms surrounding me desperately.
Author: Sphynx
Pairings: past 3x4
Warnings/Notes: Death (well, supposedly), ANGST! serious angst, yaoi (do I even have to say this anymore?). I am a sick, sick person. Why do I keep killing off the boys?
Disclaimers: If I owned the characters or the song, I would be rich. The boys belong to their creators, and the song "Your House" is by Alanis Morisette
//I went to your house
Walked up the stairs
Opened the door without ringing the bell
Walked down the hall
Into your room where I could smell you//
It was really that simple. He just left, not even saying a word. Not a damned word. But why? Did I do something wrong? Was there something about me that just wasn't good enough for him? And now I am alone and I don't know why. I don't know why.
I cried. People think I am weak because I cry, but they're wrong. If I hadn't cried that day, then I wouldn't be able to handle the pent up emotion that was raging inside of me. The pain that he caused.
//And I shouldn't be here
Without permission
Shouldn't be here...//
I wanted to find him. Tell him I was sorry. Ask him why he left. It wasn't hard. Not when it could have been impossible. He was living in New York, in a small dingy apartment.
Everything there screamed of him. The discarded pile of clothes waiting to be washed. The clean dishes in the dish rack, left to dry when he went to work. Yes, I knew that he had gone to work. I had in fact planned it so that he would find me.
//Would you forgive me love if I danced in your shower
Would you forgive me love if I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love if I stay all afternoon?//
It was horrible. Seeing his stuff, the stuff that had been in my house just a few months ago. And seeing the stuff that he had gotten since he left. It just showed that life went on.
Cold, so cold, without him. I shivered as I walked around, looking in front room. Sitting on the couch I looked around, seeing the bare walls and sparse furniture. Only the bedroom had been truly lived in, but the sitting room screamed his name just as loudly. The sparseness his outer mask to the world.
// I took off my clothes
put on your robe
went through your drawers
and I found your cologne//
I feel so terrible now, sitting in his bedroom, on his bed, crying. In my head the day he left plays over and over again, a never-ending track of memory. It's been hours since I got here. I've wandered and paced back and forth. Back and forth.
//went down to the den
found your cd's
and I played your Joni//
Time and time again I paced. Until I finally stopped in the bedroom, collapsing on his bed. And so here I am crying, crying. I thought that I had my emotions under control, that I would be able to come here and be at peace finally. But no. I won't let myself be at peace,
I realize now as I sit here that I shouldn't have come, I was just asking for emotional torture when I picked the lock on the door. Why? Why did he leave me?
//and I shouldn't stay long
you might be home soon
shouldn't stay long//
I can't leave. I'm caught now. Cuaght in the emotions playing through me like fire. The sound of his voice is in my ears, and his smell is everywhere. Everywhere. I've gone through the whole apartment now, dozens of times. Help me Allah, I don't know how to deal with being confronted with him everywhere.
//Would you forgive me love if I danced in your shower
Would you forgive me love if I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love if I stay all afternoon?//
There it is, in his bathroom, the shampoo that I love. The smell so clean and sweet, so utterly simple. I sniff it and my memory pulls around me again, showing me times when we had just gotten out of the shower, clean after a day outdoors. Times when I came home from work and there you were freshly showered waiting for me. My love, how I miss him now more than ever, his familiar scents surrounding me.
//I burned your incense
I ran a bath//
I'm not content just wandering around picking up the things he leaves out, carressing them, thinking of him using them everyday. I rifle through his desk, searching for some sign he misses me as I miss him. But why would he? He was the one who left. His personal things speak volumes about his life. About how he feels and lives now. And then it falls out. The note with my best friend's writing on it. And I know that there is nothing left in life for me, not without him.
//I noticed a letter that sat on your desk
It said:
"Hello, love.
I love you so, love.
Meet me at midnight."
And no, it wasn't my writing
I'd better go soon
It wasn't my writing//
Allah preserve me, I don't know what to do. He left me for one I trusted. And I don't know whether they are together. I am lost, so lost. I can only think of the pain within my heart as I pick up the knife that you left so carelessly in the dishrack. The knife that brings the ruby drops from under my skin. Trowa, why?
//So forgive me love If I cry in your shower
So forgive me love for the salt in your bed
So forgive me love If I cry all afternoon//
Wait! Is that his voice I hear calling my name? Oh, Allah! It is him, my sweet Trowa has caught me in his house like a common thief. But I'm falling, falling towards light and brightness. A place I don't deserve.
"QUATRE! NO!"
The last thing I hear before everything goes dark, my beloved's arms surrounding me desperately.
