He was back in the cemetery. He had grown to despise cemeteries because they only served as a reminder that even with his powers, he still could not rescue everyone. He remembered that just a few weeks ago he had shared stolen glances with Lana in the rain at Mr. Fordman's funeral. Her face had been somber while her eyes told him of passions that went unsaid and now, she was gone. Her legacy had ended before it even began. He barely heard the eloquent words of the minister or the eerily ethereal sounds that accompanied death. He saw Chloe out of the corner of his eye, looking lost and alone. He knew that he was being unreasonably hostile toward her but he was in pain, she was his scapegoat and she didn't deserve to be. He knew that he could have saved Lana but Chloe had held him back. He just barely noticed when people began to leave; they were getting depressed at attending so many funerals because depression always nipped at their heels afterwards. People who were trying to comfort her surrounded Nell but they could not bring back Nell's last chance at the life that she should have had. She tried to live vicariously through her niece and that had estranged Lana from her aunt. Clark was very perceptive but he kept his thoughts to himself mostly. An angry Whitney who was bereft of his princess only pulled him from his thoughts, Lana had been his whole world and she was no longer with them.
" I told you to look out for her, Kent, to watch her and you let her die," said Whitney, his voice telling of his heartache. Clark bowed his head, out of guilt, and waited for the rest of Whitney's grief-ridden onslaught to rain down upon his head but it never came. " Where do you get off blaming Clark for Lana's death, Whitney?" Clark turned, surprised, to look at a red-faced and irate Chloe. After the way he had been treating her, the last thing that Clark expected from Chloe was to be protected by her. " The police said that Lana was most likely extracted form the truck by the winds of the tornado and deposited in that ditch but she was already dead from the combination of a broken neck and head trauma. Did you expect Clark to rush into a churning tornado, fly up into its depths and drag the truck and Lana safely down to the ground? " He can't do that, he's not Superman, so back off because he's probably hurting more than you could ever know."
Whitney was silent and so was Clark, whose eyes were filled with guilt at Chloe's words because he could have flown up into that twister and brought Lana and the truck down safely to the ground. Chloe didn't understand or know how prophetic her words really were. After what seemed like an eternity, Whitney stormed off, lost in his sorrow. Chloe then turned her anger towards Clark.
" You were going to let him berate you like a dog, Clark, that is not you." " I deserve his anger, I could have saved her." " Enough of your savior complex, Clark, you cant save everyone lord knows you try, people die. Its called immortality and its part of life." " I could have saved her Lana," began Clark but Chloe interrupted him. " Clark, just stop with this guilt trip, okay." " Chloe, you don't understand, I knew that something was wrong but you told me that Lana was okay." " Now you're blaming me," she yelled," Nell told me that she heard Lana in the driveway so that meant that Lana was okay, don't even try and put Lana's death on me." " I asked you if you were sure that she was okay." " I had no reason to doubt Nell." " I could have saved her but you held me back, Chloe." " I just wanted you to myself," said Chloe with tears in her eyes," whenever its just the two of us, you always run to be with Lex or Lana; I just wanted to spend some time alone with just you and me. I love you, Clark." He showed no indication that he heard her whispered confession. " Because you were selfish, Lana's dead, Chloe I hope you're happy." He then turned and walked away from her.
" I love you," she whispered again as the tears began to fall. He was forever gone form her life and he heart broke with the realization. He hadn't even acknowledge her declaration of love because his heart had been captured by Lana and Lana was dead so no one else would ever be blessed enough to hold a piece of Clark's heart for themselves not even her.
Her world became bleak and only he could take away the pain, only he could erase the shadows that dwelled in her eyes. " I can't go on like this," she said to the silence of the cemetery trees. He had been the only thing in her life that made the world livable to her and now he was out of her reach. She got into her car and somehow found her way home, her movements seemed mechanical even to her. The first thing she did when she reached the haven of her room was sit at her desk and pulled out her pad of mauve and cream stationary that she never used. She then poured out her emotions onto the paper because she felt that she expressed herself better through verse. She hoped that he understood. When she was finished, she folded the letter and put in into a matching mauve and cream envelope. She sealed it with a kiss and a heavy heart. She wrote his name on the front and placed the latter where it would be seen, on top of her journal.
Then she slept the sleep of a tortured soul. She would ease the pain, somehow, soon, very soon.
