Title: The Pub Series ~ Politics
Author: Rachel Stonebreaker
Email: redirect@beckyswebdesign.com
Rating: G
Characters: Frodo, Pippin, Sam, Fatty, Lotho, and Merry.
Date: 3 August, 2002
Summary: The Pub Series is a group of stories set in a pub. This one is about Frodo taking the task in hand to start the younger cousins on the way to being more involved in Shire politics by getting them to work together on a proposal for flood control.
Disclaimer: JRRT created these wonderful creatures. His estate owns all rights. I just lust after them now and again. I do NOT make any money, fame or other gain from them.
Authors Notes: Some of the songs listed in this story can be found in full play on http://www.celticradio.net/Prequests.shtml
Story Notes: You asked for it, here's Merry. I hope it's not too disappointing. He doesn't go postal or anything, but still you get to see him seethe. Ah Merry, my little Tasmanian Devil.
Review notes: Thank you Marion, Clover, and Pansy. Your recent reviews mean a lot to me, especially because you keep coming back. So, I must be doing something right. Marion, you're right, Freddy doesn't get enough air time. Got any ideas for bringing him into another story? Pansy, my fellow PHF, you should see the t-shirt I had printed (hope I don't get into copyright trouble...). Don't worry, Merry comes up in this chapter. Or maybe worry. He's terribly happy and doesn't want the mood spoiled.

Chapter 13 ~ Merry

Frodo looked up as Fatty rejoined the group. With a chuckle he commented, "Trust you!? After what you did to Samwise and Peregrin, I will never turn my back on you"

"Ai, Frodo! Samwise can take care of himself, or at least he should learn how. Amaryllis meant no harm, she knows Miss Rose Cotton would have her head if she really tried anything!"

Sam visibly choked. Frodo and Fatty couldn't help but laugh outright at his reaction. Though Frodo felt terrible for teasing his friend so and ducked his head to hide his grin. Still it was so easy to see Sam was enamored of Farmer Cotton's daughter but too shy to do anything about it.

"And Peregrin is just too much fun. I didn't realize our sweet Pip wouldn't be able to take THAT sort of attention. I nearly howled at his reaction when Aubrieta actually sat on his lap. And then when she planted that first kiss, it was obvious he had no clue. I hadn't expected her to go as far as she did. Oh, I hope I haven't created a monster with this prank. You know how fast Pippin acts on an idea once it's in his head that it can be done." Freddy pulled a face in fake horror.

"You saw it? I couldn't find you"

"I was right behind you, cousin. Actually, right behind Samwise. I may be large but I've learned to blend in quite well, don't you think?" Freddy was proud of himself, this much was apparent. Frodo was proud of him, too. A disaster avoided and two very well executed pranks all in one evening. Pippin had finally calmed enough to breath normally and had promptly fallen asleep. It was a good thing, too, because he wouldn't have taken kindly to hearing that Fatty had set up the encounter. Frodo was sure Pippin would think it was his extreme charm and powerful good looks that had garnered Aubrieta's attentions. Sweet, silly, naïve lad.

Yes, Pippin was naïve. But wily. And kind. Too kind to garner a grudge and too carefree to take life seriously enough to warrant remembering a grievance made against him. He was the youngest of a large group of cousins who had paved the road ahead of him. He took a lot of good natured abuse and he learned from their pranks on each other. Like feigning sleep to listen to things said about him. He gladly sucked up any lesson in pantry raiding, sister-baiting, and parent-pandering his elders provided. Frodo taught him to climb and swim (dangerous but exhilarating hobbies), Merry taught him to lie and get away with it (thus saving him the agony of a paddling on many an occasion), and Fatty had taught him to raid pantries stealthily (useful as with Fatty now being "full grown" Pippin was expected to bring the goods at impromptu picnics). Pippin was set as far as he was concerned. And he was now old enough to join his friends at the pub. It was indeed GOOD to be the son of the Thain and the youngest of the cousins. He got away with murder so to speak. And at this very moment, his head reeling, he couldn't pretend to sleep any longer. The music was thrumming through him and he raised his voice in song with a grin on his face, he was enjoying the evening immensely.*

At least until Meriadoc decided to make his appearance and force Peregrin into consciousness.

"OI! Frodo, Fatty, PIPPIN, my lad! What do you have to say for yourselves?" Merry nearly unseated everyone at the table with his overly loud greeting. They'd all been so caught up in Pip's singing that they hadn't seen Merry enter, order an ale, drink it down, order another and slide on up to the table. He took Pippin's half full mug and drained it before settling back into his own full one. "I thought you would be canvassing the lot here for votes on the proposal!!!"

"HEY!!!! YOU!!!!" Pippin, alarmed at loosing his ale sat up, grabbed his mug and stared disbelieving into it's empty depths. Merry simply waved his hand to the barmaid signaling another ale.

"You appear to be in a grand mood, cousin" Frodo laughed as he reached across the table and stole Merry's mug to give to Pippin. Sam just shook his head. He had grown up with the Cotton lads as friends and they were none too easy with their ale nor their money. Sam was still not quite used to Frodo and his cousins' effortlessness in paying for and drinking up any and all rounds. There was definitely a difference here between his down-to-earth upbringing and their upper-class tartness but he didn't mind. He generally enjoyed their company once he had learned some of their shared secret language of jibes, side-looks, and audacious jests. Sam was learning to take anything a Took, Bolger, Brandybuck, and to a lessor extent a Baggins (at least when in the company of a Bolger, Brandybuck or Took) said with a grain of salt.

"Mister Merry, did you get anywheres with your 'mission', if'n I might be so bold?" Sam asked, having learned if he didn't jump right into the fray, this lot would digress into idiotic comparisons of the barmaids' skirts or some equally ridiculous off subject conversation. Well, maybe not Mister Frodo. When HE was on task, one might expect the job to be done right and proper. And the same might be said of Mister Merry, if'n the matter were serious enough. But only in a round about way with Mister Freddy. And never with young Pippin. And CERTAINLY not with any two of them together!!!! Sam felt he was the only responsible one of the group sometimes and had to bring them all back to Middle Earth lest they forget that they were supposed to be solving the Shire's flood problems right now.

"Aye, right, that I did, Samwise!" Merry answered while taking his pipe and pouch out of his jacket pocket. The barmaid returned with the new beer, set it down and placed a hand suggestively on Merry's shoulder. He immediately stopped tamping his pipe and flashed a smile up at the pretty server. MY, wasn't that a nice set of bodice decorations, he thought as Pippin began quietly to sing along with an ever so poignant song**.

The gitern player dropped down a key and began to harmonize in earnest when he realized that Pippin knew the song and was singing the melody far better than he could. The place quieted down. And the clear clean strains of the saddest song many of them had heard all month lilted out into the night air. Pip was oblivious to the other singer's harmony and the crowd's silence. He was in his own little place, having downed half the ale Frodo had put in front of him (Merry's original) in one draught so as to keep Merry away from it.

The song ended and the crowd burst into applause. The gitern player smiled wildly as those hobbits near enough clapped him on the back and encouraged him by dropping a few coins to "play another" to get the Took to sing again. Pip just sat happily humming the last verse again to himself, now leaning rather heavily on Frodo. Thinking on the soon to be insensible Pippin, Frodo put his arm around his cousin, drew him in to steady the lad and brought the conversation back to reality.

"So, Merry, did you achieve your ends, will Buckland contribute?" Frodo asked as Pippin's head fell solidly against his shoulder. Everyone smiled despite themselves. Then Sam and Freddy laughed. Merry snorted. Frodo lifted Pippin's head and blew on his face to test the reaction. He lifted an eyelid. Out. Hard. Frodo just smiled. He was thinking about how he was going to get Pippin back to his smial without an enormous effort. Ah, well, he'd enlist Sam's help and they'd haul him to Bag End and put the lad in one of the spare rooms. The Old Took knew his youngest was out with Frodo and trusted that the sometimes frivolous lad would come to no great harm.

Shaking his head in utter amazement that Pippin didn't even last 5 minutes after his arrival, Merry launched into a detailed discussion on why he was late. It had taken him the better part of 8 hours broken up over 2 days to convince his father, the Master of Buckland, three of his uncles and two of his father's best friends that the proposal brought up by a Hobbiton lad (though Frodo WAS a family member) to the mayor at the last Shire Council meeting was indeed worthwhile to the Brandybucks. Truth be told, if it wasn't for the current youngest generation of Baggins, Burrows, Gamgees, Bolgers, Brandybucks and to a very minimal extent the Tooks (mostly sister Pimpernel because Peregrin was acting oblivious to the current undertaking when asked to pitch in), working together, then nothing probably would be done about the flooding and there would most likely be another disaster this coming spring. Folks often complained about the younger generation not being "up to leaf" and being carefree and worthless when it came to manners, traditions, common sense, and serious matters, but the youngsters could pull together and work out mighty tough problems if two or three of them convinced the rest. It was always the same, generation after generation.

Lotho approached the table casually with Hay in tow partly because he couldn't resist overhearing Merry's loud bragging and partly because he really did want to be part of the parcel but didn't want to seem anxious. Hay was good for his moral. Having someone following him made him feel important. Hay could care less. He was just there for the entertainment. Frodo was the first to acknowledge the truce. "Hello cousins. Superb music tonight, don't you agree?"

Hay nodded yes and looked to sit down as Merry started to make room.

"Yes, cousin, though I appreciate the quiet now" Lotho nodded to Pippin sound asleep on Frodo's shoulder. "I've thought it over and decided that in order to ensure this little task of yours isn't grossly mismanaged, that I would offer my assistance to see it through to the end."

"Oi, what's that smell? Excuse me, Lotho, it's you!" Merry unintentionally stepped on himself and everything Frodo and Freddy had worked out by blowing off Lotho's proffered assistance in a way that was INTENTIONALLY meant to anger the youngest Sackville-Baggins. Merry was never on friendly terms with Lotho especially since Lotho made no bones about picking on Frodo every chance as presented itself. Merry was related to Lotho nearly as closely as he was related to dear old Bilbo, but there was definitely not one smidgen of any desire to address this Pimple as family. He delighted in baiting Lotho because Lotho could turn such interesting shades of purple, red, and white and never lift a finger to rouse Merry to blows. It was the best situation for one who had Merry's temperament. But tonight, he'd spoken out when he should have kept his mouth shut. Frodo hadn't the chance to warn him and now it looked as if the whole plan would come crashing onto the table in little spit out pieces of nastily said insults because Lotho was now unbelievably angry.

"Merry" cautioned Frodo but it was lost in the rebuff from Lotho.

Merry's taunt was too much for Lotho, who like Merry, had a hair trigger temper, and like Merry hadn't learned to curb it in certain situations. He voiced loudly that since the littlest Brandybuck at the table was the last pup to join the motley litter perhaps he'd better check with his elders as to just who was to be in charge of the new proposed adventure.

Frodo and Freddy looked cautiously at each other as this caught Merry's attention and as Lotho did not look intent on backing down. Sam tensed up watching Frodo ready to protect him with his own body if need be. This night was wearing him thin, thought Sam. For an evening that were supposed to have been full of ale and good conversation, he'd about had it with Mister Frodo's relations. He was glad most of his still lived in the North Farthing if this is how one's cousins acted.

Lotho continued to glare viscously at his third cousin twice removed. Merry, though roused, flatly ignored him which was a practiced approach to calm his rising temper. Whether it was sheer stupidity on Lotho's part or a calculated plan to start a fight and hope to worm his way out, no one knew. He stepped forward and challenged Merry to take back the original slight.

Now everyone was stunned into silence. The sounds of the pub seemed to crash in around them, with people laughing loudly and the museos wailing away slightly off key of each other. Hay was flabbergasted. Surely Lotho didn't expect HIM to fight Merry. Unfortunately for Hay, Lotho usually anticipated that Hay would do just that, fight his fights for him. But not with Meriadoc Brandybuck. He was not insane. Nor did he have a death wish. He knew about the time Merry had nearly throttled Sandyman's son. He'd been there in the crowd watching Frodo work a miracle and back down the crazy Brandybuck. No. He'd not fight this one. Hay turned on his heel and walked out of the pub.

Lotho failed to notice that his main backup had departed. Because Merry ignored his latest demand, he boldened and actually pushed Merry's shoulder. The effect looked something akin to a 5 year old trying to get his way with a much older child.

Merry still ignored him. Now that his third half pint in less than a half hour was ingested Merry was well on the way to joining Pippin on Frodo's shoulder. He didn't want anything to spoil his success that evening, including the Pimple. Frodo had told him once that the best way to deal with Lotho was to ignore him. And it was working. Merry was seriously feeling quite warm and muzzy and Lotho's incessant buzzing was fading out. Until Merry found himself on the floor beside his chair. Lotho had tipped him out.

Frodo dumped Pippin unceremoniously towards Sam and started to bodily drag Merry off his arse and outside. This was too close, even for Frodo. Merry could flash a fire with just his eyes when triggered and Lotho, fresh from having achieved what he deemed a major victory against Frodo by gallantly offering to clear up what he termed 'Frodo's Mess' hadn't a clue how close he'd come to getting his eye blacked.

Pippin flopped into Sam's lap as Frodo succeeded in getting Merry out of the pub into the fresh air before any violent incident occurred.

"I've no idea why those Tooks and Brandybucks can not behave better in public" Lotho casually asked Freddy. He had always like Fredigar, they were cousins after all, on the good side of the family. The Bolgers had good sense even though some of them married into the Tooks, even just recently.

Freddy said nothing to agree or disagree, he had no desire to continue this name calling yet he wisely played Lotho along so that the newly hatched idea of using Lotho and keeping him too busy to bother anyone wouldn't go astray.

"If old Uncle Bilbo had just left matters well enough alone and kept the Brandybucks where they belonged, then we here in Hobbiton would have a more quiet and pleasurable life, wouldn't you agree?" Lotho continued.

Sam didn't agree. He knew exactly to whom Lotho referred. The weasel constantly called Sam's master a Brandybuck whelp and insisted he weren't a proper Baggins (as if Mister Lotho were!). It was an obvious gibe though Sam knew Mister Frodo weren't ashamed of being half Brandybuck. So many things had been thrown at Sam tonight, he'd had about enough. He jumped up thinking to defend his master.

Pippin jolted up at the sudden jostling, caught himself across the thighs with the edge of the table as he tried to stand and sat down hard. He tried once again to stand and in his confusion, managed to get up and move from the table but lost his balance and plopped back into a nearby chair. The chair tipped and he fell forward. His face hit the edge of the table with a resounding 'thwack'. A tinge of blood welled on the red welt and he blinked his eyes in bewilderment. What had he done to get popped in the head so hard? He finally managed to stand up straight in his attempt to get a better look at whom he was supposedly fighting.

"Oh no! Master Pippin, sit back down. Tsk tsk, look what's happened, lad, I've gone and given you a cut" Sam said groping for his handkerchief while waving a hand in front of the still standing Pippin trying to see if the lack of focus in Pippin's eyes was due to the beer or the knock.

Pippin focused right on Sam's hand, as he could sometimes do even when so very drunk, and said quite indignantly, "say again, Samwise? You did this? Why did you hit me, was I really that rude?"

"No, no, you weren't rude at all. And I didn't hit you, you hit yourself"

"I did this? How is it, pray tell me, that I can possibly use my own fist against my own face?"

"Nay, lad, it were that table what did it."

"Aye? The table hit me? Go on, you ninny, a table's got legs, not fists."

Freddy, who'd stood up to catch the lad incase he fell again lowered Pippin to the bench.

"If it wasn't you, are you sure it wasn't the chair? It's got a seat and legs and a back and arms. Could have been the chair" Pippin mused thoughtfully.

Freddy was laughing so hard now that he didn't even notice Sam hadn't found what he was looking for.

"Oh, why did I get out of bed this morn?" moaned Sam as he still couldn't find his handkerchief, the cut was now beading up, and Pippin was not making sense.

Lotho begrudgingly handed over his handkerchief to clean up Pippin's cut. He was astonished that the little Took could have stood after such a whack against the table and still come up with something as funny as what he'd just said. Though he wasn't feeling sorry for Pippin, Lotho did have some natural hobbit politeness that sometimes surfaced when he was surprised.

Frodo returned with a much calmer and smirking Merry who had been let in on the newest ploy to keep Lotho out of their hair and still get the proposal implemented.

Merry nearly walloped Lotho on the spot at the sight of them all standing with Sam dabbing the angry looking welt Pippin's face.

Frodo quickly stayed Merry's arm and asked for an explanation.

Sam recited how he "accidentally" dumped Master Pippin to the table edge, that were all. His look of guilt for holding back the information that he had tried to start something with Lotho was hidden by his shame for hurting young Pippin. Oh what was a Gamgee to do? Bitten if he did, stung if he didn't, in reference to the old tale that if you became trapped by an ill tempered badger blocking the only escape you had from a swarming hornets' nest, you couldn't win regardless of your choice. Frodo understood he wasn't getting the whole story but Hay and Fin had long disappeared and Pip was too bewildered to fess up. Lotho and Freddy only agreed with Sam. Well no sever harm done, he'd let it all go for now.

Merry suspected something, Samwise never looked guilty for no reason at all. And considering the look on Lotho's face and how Freddy usually stayed out of any physical fight, he surmised that Sam had had a run in with Lotho and was coming to the conclusion that somehow Pippin had gotten tangled up in it. He'd about decided that using Lotho on this project was more trouble than it was worth and started to say as much right to Lotho.

Fatty came to the rescue and with his silk and honey voice smoothing over the matter. He whisked Lotho away to buy him a round and to chat about some leaf his father had to sell and he KNEW Lotho would find him a good market especially for a larger than average cut of the percentage.

End Chapter 13

* Jolly Read Nose ~ Poxy Boggards ~ "Bawdy Parts"
http://www.savageresearch.com/jester/bawdyparts.html
Click on the wav file associated with Jolly Red Nose.
Lyrics are in the "Bawdy Parts Seedy Songbook", well worth the $12 just to figure out the words to Happy Jacks Undrinkable Ale... he woke up with what? Two chickens, a goat, and a sheep and by the smiles on their faces he must have had a good time? Nah, they couldn't be saying that, could they? http://www.savageresearch.com/jester/seedysongbook.html

** The Bonny Swan ~ Loreena McKennitt ~ "The Mask and Mirror"
http://www.quinlanroad.com/sounds.html
a hauntingly beautiful song about betrayal and murder for love
Lyrics on http://www.xs4all.nl/~josvg/cits/lm/lorecd52.html