My Real Destiny
by Reni

Disclaimers: I do not own any of the sailor moon characters, all I own is
the story I created with the characters. All SM characters are the sole property
of Naoko Takeuchi.
**************************************************************************
Author's Notes: In case you get confused when I talk about the Senshi's loves and the
Generals of Beryl this is what I meant.

Nephlite was in love with Jupiter
Jadeite was in love with Mars
Malachite was in love with Venus
Zoicite was a man and was in love with Mercury.
**************************************************************************


Thick mist curled around me as I found myself
yet again guarding the gates of time. I looked around
me and sighed, there is nothing to see. I sat down on
what seemed to be the floor, yet it felt like an endless
pit waiting for me to fall in. Some people think my job
is the easiest, just watching the gates of time in an
endless void. Some people think I'm happy when the worst
happens because I make no intention of stopping or changing
destiny. What people don't know is that my job is the
hardest.
As I stand there waiting and watching, for
something that may never come or happen, minutes became
hours…….., hours became days…….., days became weeks……..,
weeks becomes months…….and so on. Ironic, eh? The
guardian of time counting down minutes and hours in a
place where there is nothing called time but an endless void.
My choice of entertainment you ask? Well that is
watching the events of time. Watching my beloved friends
that I hardly see but come to love die, and what do I do?
Nothing. That's why most people think I enjoy seeing people
getting hurt or even worse die. Even though I can turn back
time and make things right, I still cannot break the rules
of time. I cannot interfere with destiny.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I stand with a sad smile, watching the people
at the ball laugh and dance for the last time, knowing
what was going to happen next. I watch as the Prince
and Princess dance the night away knowing that maybe
this would be their last night together…….their last
night for real happiness for the war on Earth was
becoming worse.
Now I stand and watch in pain as the Silver
Millennium is destroyed by Queen Beryl's 'surprise
attack' on the Moon Kingdom. Tears streak down my
face as I watch Princess Serenity and Prince Endyimon
die in each other's arms, as the Senshi fall one by one
by their beloved Generals of Earth who turned evil.
More silent tears falls down my face as I watch Queen
Serenity use the last of her energy to send her children
to the future for a better life. I cry silently as I
stand firm and watch the events that I knew all so well.
Oh! How do I wish to fall down on my knees and cry my eyes
out until there is nothing more left to cry for! Yet I hold
my place, standing firm, for I have to be strong. 'But the pain
is unbearable!,' something in the back of my mind is saying,
but haven't I known this will happen before? I knew the worst
was coming, why should I feel pain now? There is no answer for
anger starts to rise overcoming the pain in my heart. I have
known this was to happen, why didn't I warn Queen Serenity of
the 'surprise attack'? Why couldn't I have gone back in time
to warn them? Why didn't I warn the 4 generals of the danger
that awaited them at their battles on Earth? Why did I let
Beryl brain wash them and take them away to fight against
their own people? Why couldn't I save them so they could be
with their love's? If I did then none of this was to happen
and the Silver Millennium would still be standing! The Prince
and Princess would announce their engagement that was never
announced, the Senshi can have their generals back and all
would be perfect!
But no that is not how time works, it is forbidden
to change the destiny that was written. I have no choice but
to watch and wait……to endure the pain, to be strong.
Another time in the twentieth century I watch as
Senshis battle against their loved ones; the 4 Generals,
yet they don't know who they are which gives me a peace of
mind for a while. If they had to fight them while knowing
who they really are would have been to painful and I couldn't
watch them being torn between their love of the Princess and
their love of the Generals.
I stand and watch at the gates of time as the 4
Senshis; Mercury, Mars, Venus and Jupiter all die trying
to protect their Princess yet again. I watch not daring to
breath or move for all I feel now is pain. It would have
been much easier if I cried but I forgot to cry, my heart
as been broken so many times that there is nothing left of
it to be broken.
I've learned to endure the pain over the years, as they all
were reborn again because of a pure hearted wish of a beautiful
Princess, and yet again were sentenced to death by Sailor Galaxia.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
All I've ever felt was pain. Pain. Such a funny
word. I think I forgot what pain feels like……no actually
it has become my best friend…….a part of me. Like loneliness
is my friend so is pain. Ageless as I am and I have never
felt love from anyone. I don't doubt the love of my fellow
scouts and I love them just the same, but I'm talking
about a different love. What would I give to have Darien
love me! But that's destiny that he fell in love with Serenity.
It's always destiny. Destiny I could change but at the cost of my
life, then what would be the use? Yes loneliness may be my second
true friend next to pain. We three watching the gates of time alone
in endless time. See? Is my job that easy now?

The End
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I hope you liked it, this is my second fanfic! I like it and I think I'm getting good at it!
Any questions or comments is welcome see ya later!