Author Notes: Only the unknown characters are mine! Rated R for rape,
aftermaths of rape. Sellen's POV!
Chapter 8.
Coming Back
I think I hear someone talking to me, but I'm not sure. I'm so tired that it's hard to keep from sinking completely into the nothingness of death. But a soft voice keeps talking to me, begging me to come back. It's familiar, but I can't remember whose voice it is.
I suppose I'm still in shock, though I am surprised that I'm not dead… The last thing I remembered was that Gyre had just finishing raping me, and I was trying to talk to Kirin, to see if he was all right, and then everything went dark. It's so cold, in this darkness, and I don't like it; I feel afraid and alone.
Oh, Valar, I nearly let myself die!! How could I have almost died? If I died, who would take care of Kirin, and keep him safe from Gyre? It's strange, but I've always cared for Kirin more than myself. For him, I would do anything, even die for him, if it would keep him safe. I know that my love for him isn't natural, and that if anyone found out about it, I would become an outcast in Mirkwood. But what would hurt most would be the look of disgust on Kirin's face; brothers aren't supposed to love each other the way I love him, but I can't help the way I feel.
Someone lifts me up and places me on a bed. Who could it be, I wonder? None of the servants would bother, nor Father or Gyre. Kirin's probably still traumatized after what Gyre did to him, and I can't even get my eyes to open.
I moan, trying to wake up, but I can't. A pair of warm, sweet lips cover mine, but I don't know who is kissing me. The kiss feels right and wonderful, but who is it? I can't open my eyes, so I can't see who it is. Covers are wrapped around me, and someone else, before hot tears soak my bare chest, and I want to tell whoever it is to stop crying, that I'll be all right. I have to be all right!
I can't leave either of my brothers behind; I love Kirin, and while he may not love me the same way that I love him, I know that my death might inadvertently cause his, through grief. And Legolas… someone has to take care of him, because as sure as the sun rises and sets, Father and Gyre won't, and Mother won't be allowed to.
I stir slightly, but I don't wake up, not until after hours go by, and my swollen eyes finally are able to open, and I see Kirin is the one laying next to me, crying on me.
"K-Kirin… p-please, stop crying, I'm all right," I say, my voice somewhat weak and shaky. I don't tell him about Gyre's threat to make me his consort; there's nothing he can do about that. But I don't think Father would risk me losing my life like that, if I die then I can't dream of the future, which is the only thing of value to him. "Are you all r-right, K- Kirin?"
"Oh, Sellen…" he whispers, continuing to cry.
I wince, as I struggle to sit up, only the Valar and I know how much it hurts, and I wrap my arms around him slowly, not wanting to frighten him, especially after what Gyre has done. I stroke his silvery hair with one hand, while my other hand holds him close. "It's all right, he'll never touch you again, I promise, Kirin…" I repeat over and over, forgetting my own pain. Kirin looks so upset, and I think I understand why; because of what Gyre did.
To my surprise, Kirin cries, "I was more worried about you!! I t-thought you were going to die!"
"Kirin, I would not leave you like that, don't ever think that I would," I vow, though I still remember how close to death I had been. "I will always be there for you, no matter what happens." Kirin doesn't need to know that I nearly did die, it would just upset him more. All that matters is that I am all right, and Kirin seems to be all right.
I continue to hold him, as if he is my anchor to the world. But I still wonder who kissed me… The sweet, magical kiss still lingers on my lips.
Kirin sniffs, and I go back to comforting him. He's more important than finding out who kissed me, and I love him so much… But then why did I have such a reaction to a kiss from another? I ponder on it for a few moments, before I shrug mentally. It's Kirin I have to care for now, not myself.
Together, we'll get through this… Somehow…
To be continued
Chapter 8.
Coming Back
I think I hear someone talking to me, but I'm not sure. I'm so tired that it's hard to keep from sinking completely into the nothingness of death. But a soft voice keeps talking to me, begging me to come back. It's familiar, but I can't remember whose voice it is.
I suppose I'm still in shock, though I am surprised that I'm not dead… The last thing I remembered was that Gyre had just finishing raping me, and I was trying to talk to Kirin, to see if he was all right, and then everything went dark. It's so cold, in this darkness, and I don't like it; I feel afraid and alone.
Oh, Valar, I nearly let myself die!! How could I have almost died? If I died, who would take care of Kirin, and keep him safe from Gyre? It's strange, but I've always cared for Kirin more than myself. For him, I would do anything, even die for him, if it would keep him safe. I know that my love for him isn't natural, and that if anyone found out about it, I would become an outcast in Mirkwood. But what would hurt most would be the look of disgust on Kirin's face; brothers aren't supposed to love each other the way I love him, but I can't help the way I feel.
Someone lifts me up and places me on a bed. Who could it be, I wonder? None of the servants would bother, nor Father or Gyre. Kirin's probably still traumatized after what Gyre did to him, and I can't even get my eyes to open.
I moan, trying to wake up, but I can't. A pair of warm, sweet lips cover mine, but I don't know who is kissing me. The kiss feels right and wonderful, but who is it? I can't open my eyes, so I can't see who it is. Covers are wrapped around me, and someone else, before hot tears soak my bare chest, and I want to tell whoever it is to stop crying, that I'll be all right. I have to be all right!
I can't leave either of my brothers behind; I love Kirin, and while he may not love me the same way that I love him, I know that my death might inadvertently cause his, through grief. And Legolas… someone has to take care of him, because as sure as the sun rises and sets, Father and Gyre won't, and Mother won't be allowed to.
I stir slightly, but I don't wake up, not until after hours go by, and my swollen eyes finally are able to open, and I see Kirin is the one laying next to me, crying on me.
"K-Kirin… p-please, stop crying, I'm all right," I say, my voice somewhat weak and shaky. I don't tell him about Gyre's threat to make me his consort; there's nothing he can do about that. But I don't think Father would risk me losing my life like that, if I die then I can't dream of the future, which is the only thing of value to him. "Are you all r-right, K- Kirin?"
"Oh, Sellen…" he whispers, continuing to cry.
I wince, as I struggle to sit up, only the Valar and I know how much it hurts, and I wrap my arms around him slowly, not wanting to frighten him, especially after what Gyre has done. I stroke his silvery hair with one hand, while my other hand holds him close. "It's all right, he'll never touch you again, I promise, Kirin…" I repeat over and over, forgetting my own pain. Kirin looks so upset, and I think I understand why; because of what Gyre did.
To my surprise, Kirin cries, "I was more worried about you!! I t-thought you were going to die!"
"Kirin, I would not leave you like that, don't ever think that I would," I vow, though I still remember how close to death I had been. "I will always be there for you, no matter what happens." Kirin doesn't need to know that I nearly did die, it would just upset him more. All that matters is that I am all right, and Kirin seems to be all right.
I continue to hold him, as if he is my anchor to the world. But I still wonder who kissed me… The sweet, magical kiss still lingers on my lips.
Kirin sniffs, and I go back to comforting him. He's more important than finding out who kissed me, and I love him so much… But then why did I have such a reaction to a kiss from another? I ponder on it for a few moments, before I shrug mentally. It's Kirin I have to care for now, not myself.
Together, we'll get through this… Somehow…
To be continued
