"The Chibi Materia" by: Meirelle Emeraldeyes

The Scoop: The title is self-explanatory. Rufus, Reno, and Vincent turn into little kids via a missing invention of Hojo's. Yeah. some of you might remember this one. I had it up for a bit, but I know that I'm never going to finish it so.

^_^_^_^

It was late at night. Rufus was sitting in his office finishing up lots and lots of boring paperwork. It had to be done, but there was just so much of it. and he was so tired. His eyelids felt heavier and heavier until he finally gave in and fell asleep at his desk.

When Rufus woke up, he noticed that he was on the floor by his desk. Hey, how'd I get here? he thought.

He rubbed his eyes tiredly and stood up. He was only as tall as the desk he stood by. Hey, what's going on here? Why am I all tiny?

Rufus looked down at his body. His clothes were practically falling off of him. He pulled back the sleeves of his oversized trench coat to reveal tiny hands. He stared at them in disbelief. "Ahhhhh! What happened to me? I'm. I'm a little kid!"

It was then that Rufus heard the door open. He stood on the tips of his toes to see over the vastness of the desk. Oh, no. thought a devastated Rufus as he saw who had entered his office, It's Reno.

"Uh, hey Boss?" the Turk looked around the empty room, trying to find any signs of the President of Shinra.

Rufus was struggling to see over the top of the desk when he lost his balance and fell. He landed on the floor with a loud 'thud'.

Reno immediately looked in the direction of the desk, "Is anyone here?" he asked suspiciously.

Rufus panicked. Ugh, what should I do? I can't let him see me like this! But before he had any time to react, the Turk was already heading in his direction. Crap.

Reno stared down at him ambiguously. "Who are you?"

"Uh. hi, Reno." Rufus frowned. His voice sounded so squeaky!

"Uh, hey kid, how'd you know my name? How'd you get in the Boss's office?" Reno had one of those fake smiles plastered on his face: the one he wore whenever he was trying to be nice.

"Um." I guess I'd better tell him the truth, "I, uh, I. because I am Rufus?"

The Turk laughed at him, "Sure, kid."

"But I am!" Rufus argued. The redhead still looked incredulous so he went on, "Yeah, I can prove it! Look," he said, indicating his clothes, "How did I end up in this suit if I'm not Rufus?"

Reno looked a bit indignant at this point "Kid, it's not nice to lie."

"Reno, you're a Turk! You work with three other Turks: Elena, Tseng and Rude! You and Rude like to get plastered at Tifa's Seventh Heaven every Saturday night! You always tell Elena that she talks too much! Elena has a crush on Tseng!"

"Whoa." said a stunned Reno, "How'd you know all that?"

Rufus gave the Turk a cold stare that only the President of Shinra could give.

Reno studied the boy before him: blonde hair, sapphire eyes. The kid kind of did look like Rufus. "No way. Rufus?" He leaned down to get a closer look at the child. "Is that really you?"

The child nodded vigorously. "Yeah, I was doin' paperwork and I fell asleep. When I woke up I looked like this!"

Reno burst into a fit of laughter.

"Hey!" Rufus shouted, "Shut up, Reno! It's not funny!"

The Turk's laughter subsided enough for him to speak, "Oh man, I can't wait to tell everybody else. Come on, kid. You're coming with me."

"What!?" Rufus paled, "Reno, this is serious! I might be stuck like this forever!"

"Hah, that'll be quite interesting, now wouldn't it?"

Before Rufus had time to protest, he found himself being picked up by Reno and being carried out the door.

"H-Hey! Put me down! I don't wanna go! I could have you fired!"

"Sure you could, Little Rufie. But right now, you're an annoying little brat who's throwing a tantrum. I'm the only one that believes you're actually Rufus Shinra-and that's stretching the truth a little bit."

Rufus abruptly stopped his raving to ask one question, "You don't believe me.?"

"Uh, well."

"YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME! I KNEW IT! I KNEW I COULDN'T TRUST YOU! YOU'RE A BIG STUPID JERKFACE! AND DON'T CALL ME 'RUFIE'! THAT'S NOT MY NAME! IT'S RUFUS! I'M DEFINITELY GONNA FIRE YOU NOW!"

People that were passing the two in the halls stopped to stare at Reno. He shrugged at them, and then quickened his pace to avoid as much human contact as possible. "God, shut up, Rufus. You're making a scene," he said in between clenched teeth.

"I DON'T WANNA SHUT UP! I WANT YOU TO PUT ME DOWN! I HATE YOU!" he wailed, tears streaming down his face.

Reno had acquired a rather worried expression on his face, "Rufus, no one's gonna believe your story if you keep on crying like that."

"Huh?" Rufus had abandoned his paroxysm in the blink of an eye, "I was crying?" He wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. The sleeve came away wet. Not only do I look like a child, but now I'm acting like one. Oh, god, what's wrong with me?

He returned to his previous crying fit. "Reno, what's wrong with me!? I don't wanna be like this!"

Reno had a very apprehensive expression on his face. Great. I'm hauling this bratty kid down the hall. He's crying. I hate kids! What am I supposed to do!?

^_^_^_^_^_^

After lots of crying and threats from 'Rufus', Reno had finally arrived at the Turks' office in the basement of ShinRa Headquarters. O_o

As soon as he rushed into the office all of the Turks promptly stopped what they were doing to gape at the redhead and the child.

"Yo," Tseng asked, "Who's the kid?"

Reno, who looked to be very irritated, dropped Rufus on the ground rather callously. The blonde stared dumbly at Tseng, Elena, and Rude from where he sat on the floor.

"Aw," Elena started, "He's so cute!"

Rufus smiled slyly and Reno, who had grown quite jealous, pushed him over with his foot. The kid tumbled to the ground, giving Reno the chance to smile.

Elena gasped, "Reno! Don't do that! He's only an innocent little kid! You might hurt him!"

Oh, if you only knew, the redhead thought.

Elena bent down until she was at the same height as Rufus. "What's your name, sweetie?"

The child grinned even wider, "I'm Rufus!" he said confidently.

"Oh," Elena said, "looks like you have the same name as President ShinRa."

"Heh, heh. His name's Rufus," Tseng whispered in Rude's ear, "No wonder Reno's treating him like shit."

"HEY!!!" the kid yelled, "I resent that!"

All of the Turks except Reno stared at the blonde astonishingly.

"." said Rude.

"Huh?" asked Elena.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" exclaimed Tseng. He was looking expectantly at Reno.

"Uh." the redhead shot a nervous look towards the child.

"I'm Rufus Shinra!" the 'president' interrupted, "and if any of you ever talk about me like that again, you're all fired!"

"Uh, yeah," Reno meekly replied to the rest of the Turks, "That about sums it up."

Elena's eyes grew wide, "Whoa, you mean that's.?"

Reno nodded.

"No it's not, Elena," replied a stoic Tseng, "Don't be so naïve. Reno's just drunk, is all."

"I agree with Tseng," Rude said simply.

"What!?" Rufus screamed, "I swear I'm Rufus Shinra!"

"Yeah," Reno defended, "and I'm not drunk, either!"

Tseng laughed and walked towards the door, "Yeah," he said, "Right. I'm leaving. I'll see you when you're sober again."

He then left. Rude followed him out the door.

Elena stopped to pick up Rufus. "I'm going to find out where you belong," she said, and then left.

"Ahhhhhhh!" Rufus screamed, "Help me!"

Reno considered following, but then discarded the idea. They all think I'm plastered. They won't believe me no matter how hard I try. He smirked, But I'm not drunk.not yet. He took out a bottle of vodka that he had hidden in the desk drawer and took a drink.

It didn't take long for him to be completely plastered and passed out on the floor.

^_^_^_^_^_^_^

"Reno!?"

Huh? Who is that? Why is she screaming my name? I'm trying to sleep!

"RENO!!! Oh my God! Is that you!?"

Reno opened his eyes. Ow. it's bright! Of course it really wasn't bright, he just had a hangover.

Elena stared at him, a panicked expression painted her face. "Oh God, this can't be happening! This can't be happening. This can't be-"

"Elena!" he spat out annoyingly.

She stared at him dumbly, mouth hanging open.

"What?" the redhead asked, quite disturbed by her odd behavior.

The blonde Turk still stared at him, observing him in mute fascination.

It took him forever to figure out why she was acting so strange, but when he finally realized what had happened, he understood why.

Dreading what he would discover, Reno glanced down at himself. His clothes were way too big on him and he was way too tiny. Standing up, he was rather upset to find out that Elena was taller than him. much taller than him!

"No!" the redhead cried out, "Why did this have to happen to me, of all people?"

"So you really weren't lying?" Elena finally spoke. She then paled. "Uh oh, I left Rufus in the daycare center on the 47th floor. He's gonna be soooooo mad!"

Reno looked horrified. "You're not gonna put me in the daycare center, are you?"

"Well," she explained with regret, "I can't just leave you here."

"But I'll be mad too if you leave me in there! No-I'll GO mad if you leave me in that damned Holy-forsaken hellhole!"

Elena acquired a scornful look on her face. "Reno! Watch your mouth!"

"What did I say?" But before Reno could say anything more, she had already scooped him up in her arms and had headed out the door.

^_^_^_^

Tseng was walking down the halls of the 67th floor of the ShinRa building. He was looking for a certain redhead. "Damn," he cursed, "Where IS he?"

He then spotted Elena walking down the same hall in the opposite direction.

"Elena!"

The female Turk halted at hearing her leader's voice. "Tseng?"

"Elena, have you seen Reno?"

"Yeah," the Turk answered curtly.

"Is he sober?"

"Um, I guess so."

"Where's he at?"

"At the daycare center, Sir."

Tseng's eyes went wide. "The daycare center!? What the hell is he doing there?"

Before Elena had the chance to answer that question, a frantic professor in a white lab coat ran out of the Jenova storage area.

"My new experiment is GONE!!!" Hojo yelled dramatically.

"Experiment?" asked an inquisitive Tseng.

"Yes," the professor explained exuberantly, "it's a new type of magic materia. It's called the 'chibi materia.'"

"Er, what the hell is 'chibi materia?'" Tseng asked, quite annoyed at the man for not making any sense.

"I was experimenting with age reversal. After many tests I had finally invented something that could do it: a materia. And that's what the chibi materia does: it reverses the aging process."

Elena and Tseng exchanged nervous glances.

Uh oh, Elena thought.

"But it has been stolen," Hojo continued to rave, "as well as every other materia in the lab!"

"Hmm," Tseng thought, "I wonder who could have stolen it."

"There's only one person I know that loves materia that much," Elena said gravely, "I met her once in Wutai when I was captured by The Don. And her name is Yuffie."

^_^_^_^_^

Rufus stood in the farthest corner of the room, away from all the other kids, and looking petrified. Why am I here? he thought, I hate this place. Kids are annoying. But. I AM a kid. So does that mean I'm annoying too?

While he was contemplating over trivial matters, he didn't notice the indignant redheaded boy being ushered into the room. "Lemme out!" he said, pounding on the door, "I swear I'll go crazy in here!"

"Now, now," said the lady in charge of the daycare center, "settle down. Everything will be all right. Now why won't you tell me your name, little boy?"

"It's Reno," the redheaded youth said with contempt, "and I'm a Turk, mind you. So don't get on my nerves or you'll be sorry."

The boy's threat only brought a smile to the woman's face. "Tee hee! How adorable!" She reached into her purse and brought out a box of chocolate chip cookies. "Would you like a cookie?"

Reno angrily snatched the cookie away from her, glaring at her menacingly. He then stalked away from the amused woman over to an unoccupied spot on the floor to eat his prize.

Rufus, upon hearing the name 'Reno', had been watching the situation assiduously. No way! he thought, That couldn't possibly be who I think it is.

"Reno?" he asked incredulously, "Is that you?"

The redhead looked up. "Rufus!?" he said in between mouthfuls of chocolate chip cookie. Reno looked over the child. His posh white suit was replaced by a black t-shirt with a picture of a happy-looking moogle on it and khakis. Reno would have laughed if it weren't for the irate glare the 'president' was giving him.

"I told you I wasn't making it up!" Rufus punched him in the arm hard.

"Ow!" Reno protested, "I didn't say you were lying, Tseng did!"

Rufus crossed his arms and pouted, thus causing the redhead to laugh this time.

"What's so funny?" the blonde asked.

"Look at you!" he said in between giggles, "Look at the way you're dressed. And look at the expression on your face. It's so FUNNY!!!"

Rufus pouted even more. "Yeah? Well, look at yourself," he argued, "I don't see you wearing your Turks uniform anymore. You're nobody now! Just some stupid six-year old!"

The redhead abruptly stopped laughing. "Rufus, what if we never get back to normal?"

The blonde hung his head, "I don't even want to think about that."

^_^_^_^

The girl watched amusedly from her place in the ventilation system in the ceiling. She laughed as she gazed happily into the glowing green orb in her hand. She had had so much fun with her new purloined materia.

Yuffie smiled. She wasn't done having her fun just yet.

The girl grabbed the materia and her shuriken and headed back out to Tifa's Seventh Heaven.

The fun is just beginning.

^_^_^_^

Reno sat with his back against the wall and his arms looped around his legs. He looked around the room nervously, his gaze always returning longingly to the door.

Rufus was beside him, lying on the carpeted floor with a wool blanket wrapped tightly around him. He had fallen asleep hours ago, or at least it seemed like hours ago. When the redhead looked at the big clock on the wall, he saw that it had only been 20 minutes. To Reno, sense of time seemed to be distorted and warped at the age of six. As he observed the other children playing, he discovered that they lost interest in things very quickly, their short attention spans moving on to something else in a matter of minutes. Reno noted, with a touch of horror, that he seemed to be adopting their bizarre habits.

Reno was growing bored and restless, given the fact that he'd been sitting in the same spot for nearly ten minutes. He started to fidget anxiously as his eyes darted towards the door yet again. The six-year-old Turk looked back at Rufus, who was still curled up in the blanket and-he noticed with amusement-sucking his thumb.

Unable to stand his antsy boredom any longer, he reached over and punched Rufus in the arm.

"Ow!" the four-year-old mumbled as he sat up and looked around the room groggily before finally resting his eyes on Reno, "What was that for?"

"I'm bored," the redhead replied matter-of-factly.

"Well, why'd you have to go and wake me up for!?" the blonde asked indignantly, "I was having a dream where I was actually 23 again, and President, and ordering people like you around. You just had to ruin it, didn't you?"

Reno hung his head in shame. ".sorry."

Rufus was about to reply with a caustic remark when a big kid who looked to be about 8 or 9 years old came up to them, followed by a bunch of other kids. "We wanna know why you guys haven't played with any of us yet!" the boy demanded. Shouts of agreement from within the crowd behind him followed his statement.

"Um." Reno looked over at Rufus for an answer, but the blonde wasn't about to let himself be pushed around by a mere child.

"Who are you?" Rufus asked coolly.

"Me?" the 9-year-old asked pointing to himself, "I'm Louis. I'm the oldest here, and that means I'm in charge!"

Rufus glared contemptuously at the boy. "YOU'RE in charge!?"

"That's right," the child answered smugly, "And that means you have to do what I say!"

The two ShinRa employees looked at each other, Reno raising his eyebrows quizzically, and Rufus with a look of disbelief. Finally Reno turned back to their 'leader' and asked, "And what if we refuse?"

Louis smiled at them even wider and called out to three of the kids behind him. "Rand! Elayne! Mat!"

Instantly, three of the children stepped forward. The first one-Rand, Reno guessed, by the way he reacted when Louis said his name-had an evil glare directed at the two from his cold gray eyes. The girl, Elayne, seemed innocent enough, but instinct told him she was definitely capable of beating him up. And the third, Mat, just grinned at him coolly, anticipating the conflict that was sure to take place.

"Trust me," Louis said ingratiatingly, "You don't want to refuse."

Knowing when to quit, Reno sighed and stepped forward into the custody of Louis's lackeys. Rufus stared at him in shock for a moment before following reluctantly. The group of kids surrounded them and they were led off to the middle of the room.

All the kids stopped and formed a tight circle around the two 'criminals.' Louis pushed his way through the crowd and stood on an upended plastic box that had previously contained Legos.

"Now," the 9-year-old said once the crowd grew silent, "What's your name?"

The redhead gave a start. He wasn't quite expecting that question. "Um. Reno."

Rufus scoffed visibly. "Rufus. Rufus SHINRA!"

Louis's eyes widened in surprise and then narrowed in suspicion. "That's the name of my Da's boss."

Rufus let a pompous smile light up his face before he foolishly confirmed his identity. "I AM your dad's boss!" And as soon as I find out who he is, I'm gonna fire him, he added silently. All of the kids threw perplexed stares in Rufus's direction. He sighed and offered them the explanation they wanted. "I'm your dad's boss," he said simply, "I'm the President of the ShinRa Electric Power Company."

"The President's a grown-up!" Elayne shouted from her spot beside the Lego box, "You're only a kid like us! There's NO WAY you could be that President guy!"

Rufus's smirk left his face in a heartbeat.

"Come on, boss. Just go with it," Reno whispered in the irate blonde's ear. Rufus gave him a puzzled look. "Don't tell me you can't see it?"

"See what?" Rufus asked, even more perplexed than before.

"These kids have their own hierarchy," he said, and flashed a wry grin, "Almost like us, you know? Take a look: that Louis fellow, he's like you- the President. He gives the orders and they follow. Rand, Mat, and Elayne? Those three are like the Turks. They bully people and beat harmless kids up and-"

"All right!" Rufus whispered harshly, "I get the point. I piss 'em off and I get a black eye, right?"

Reno nodded.

^_^_^

Yes. That's it. *sigh* It ends right at a suspenseful moment too. Shucks. Sucks too, cuz I got attached to this particular fic.

Anyhow, when this was up, it got a mighty fine lot of good reviews. I thought I'd share them with you.

Azora 2002-07-29 1 Signed XD Rufus! *snuggles* He sounds so cute! And Reno! Ahh... Anyway, you've managed to turn two extremely sexy men into cute little kids... hahah... And their unhappy about it. I can't believe Elena left them at the day care center! On with the show! Sooooooon.

Vincent 2002-07-21 1 Anonymous Please write more. thank you ^_~

Zidane's Gunblade 2002-07-21 1 Signed Rofl! This is sooo funny. I really like your works. Keep on working!

^KitKat^ 2002-06-12 1 Anonymous Please continue!

Jawz (jawz86@aol.com) 2002-05-25 1 Anonymous 0__0 NEED MORE CHIBI! Mwahahahahahahaahahahahhhha! This is COOL! *snicker* I cant wait to see what happens next!

Queen Vegeta 2002-05-25 1 Signed Emerald...this has to be one of the craziest stories I have EVER read...Congarts! *thumbs up* This is incredibly entertaining! Chibi materia...gawd I love it! Chibi Rufus and Reno!! I want one! I'll take one home...*insert more crazy fangirl babbling*

zage the goth 2002-05-13 1 Signed hey, this is great. when're you gonna update?

AngelbloodShinra 2002-04-26 1 Signed XD Thats classic! Can't wait for the next chapter!

InterfaceLeader 2002-04-24 1 Signed Very cool! I like the idea a lot ^_^ I'll check back~

Ca (Rinoa Toki Moro Lockheart 2002-04-03 1 Signed Oooooooooooooo! You MUST continue! Chibis are positively adoreable!!! Kawaii x 1000000000000000!

Dragyn 2002-04-02 1 Signed Yay! That was cute! Literally. In some point when I was reading... I wanted to reach out and snuggle one of the chibi-baddies.... now if you can stick a chibi-sephiroth in there somewhere... all will be perfect! Taste the rainbow! ~Dragyn "Damn you, Cloud.... some bodyguard YOU turned out to be... #$^%@.... oh uh..... Tee hee!"

I apologize to all those people who were really looking forward to an update on this story. :o(