Leonie found herself sitting in an armchair next to Richard's hospital bed.
No one else was there. Eloise had taken Kathryn to the gift shop. David was
with his dying wife. She asked herself what every other person who knew the
problems in the marriage would ask. What was she doing here?!?!?. A couple
of days ago she was all ready to leave and never see the man again!. A
couple of days ago, he had left her for dead and not given a damn!. Why
should she care for him?!?!. She had to care!. She had to care or all the
press outside would wonder why she didn't....they'd probably label her the
baddie!. She had to care because he was the father of her daughter, who
loved him very much!. She had to care because deep down among the hate,
angry and fear!...a part of her actually loved him!. When you fall in love
with someone...illusion or not!...you never seem to stop believing they'd
go back to that ideal. Don't get me wrong!. She didn't 'do' all that "but I
love him!!!" rubbish. Neither of the pair participated in it the majority
of the time. Well, they did for the first year of their marriage. He tried
to fake apologizes and she was scared and blinded by love at first. But
that stopped!. Things changed!. Leonie changed!. She stopped showing her
fear and she almost stopped feeling it!. She found this angry and
determination within her. She wasn't gullible or dense, she gradually
worked out exactly what he was doing. And she fought back!. She replied and
shouted back to him - and she knew he wouldn't take it - but she needed to
say it anyhow!!. She couldn't let him think he was winning!!!. And she'd be
knocked back onto the floor...nose bleeding - but she'd just jump right up
again. She'd keep falling, keep getting up again and he'd keep going until
she couldn't get up again - unconscious!. The average domestic violence
episode probably involves bruises and cuts....black eyes occasionally if
your unlucky...broken bones were a rare once a year occasion...if you were
really unlucky you'd have an unconscious victim once every two years.
Leonie Valmont had on average 10 broken bones a year. She ended up
unconscious 70% of fights!. Richard didn't care!. He was an alcoholic, yes
- but that was why he hit women. True, Leonie didn't make it easy on
herself...and he may not have knocked her unconscious so many times if
she'd shut up and took it...but he enjoyed going that far all the same!. He
enjoyed shutting her up!. Most of his attacks were systematically planned.
The rest resulted in impromptu angry. He'd often make arguments. He'd often
fly off the handle for no reason without an argument!. Leonie and Richard
didn't bother with the all the lying to each other about their feelings.
Richard wasn't sorry!. He didn't arrive home with gifts and an apologize
and a "I didn't mean to" or a "You made me"...He just laughed!. He laughed
because he had the power!. He wasn't going to lower himself to begging and
'apologizing'. He wasn't going to get on his knees to her!. He respected
Leonie's intelligence not to bother!. She knew exactly was he was. Sure! He
did love her!.....not as much as Kathryn, because Kathryn was so compliant
and perfect!....but he loved her a fair bit. Unfortunately, for Kathryn and
Leonie his love wasn't enough. Because he loved them....but not as much as
himself!. He pleased, amused and protected himself!. In later years, her
therapists would ask her what it was she loved or found mildly attractive
in the real Richard. And it was this question she asked herself now. Well
,he was funny!...it was a cruel, sarcastic and twisted humor...but it
amused her!. His cockiness and complete honesty about his
intentions...amused her in a twisted way!. His looks were good!. And you
know when you convince yourself that just because someone is handsome then
they must be kind hearted - at least somewhere in there!. And there the way
he treated before they married. She was a princess in his eyes. The gifts,
compliments and sacrifices!. She never could quite let go of the fact that
that was only an illusion...it wasn't him!. The way he was with
Kathryn!!!!!!!...He loved her so much!!!. The amount of love and attention
he gave that girl!. That was a big reason why she loved Richard. Because
when he was with Kathryn...that was the only area of his life where he gave
love unselfishly!....he gave time and money without selfishness!...he was
the best dad she'd ever seen!...and she saw love and compassion in him!.
And it was when Leonie saw that...that she knew in her heart that if he
could show unselfish love and compassion to Kathryn, then one day he could
show it to her!. As long Mrs Mertueil believed Richard's love for Kathryn
to be unselfish, there was still hope. A little spark of hope kept Leonie's
spirit and heart going on. And Kathryn knew this. Kathryn knew she couldn't
tell her mother the truth!.
