Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. Namco does. And thus is life…


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I watched as Kilik ran his slightly calloused palms up along his face, his fingers gently combing through the parted bangs of his brown hair, one of his most appealing his features. Though, admittedly, his best feature has got to be his personality. He's so innocent and pristine, like a little boy but with the strength and subliminal pride of a striking young man. His heart is as pure as snow and it breaks mine to convey any news to him that might harm him.

But boys will be boys. He remained persistent, letting his emotions and eagerness take control over him as he tackled me to the mossy floor, as he passionately kissed me, as he damn near broke into tears before me, as he yelled at me and demanded to know why I couldn't remain at his side.

I finally gave up and told him why with the name that, when uttered, I am not sure whether to beam or to cringe. "It's because of Hwang," I told him, softly. I could hear some wild animal howling on the other side of the mountains in the distance thanks to the silence he fed me thereafter.

"Hwang… I saw him just days ago, but he didn't see me," I began, gradually building the nerve to look him in the eye. He didn't even want to make eye contact with me. "I know he's after me and­"

"And what?" he suddenly interrupted me. He still didn't look at me, though.

"I know he wants to take me back home." I shook my head at the horrendous thought of going back to the world of oppression that is Chili-san, Korea. Kilik knew of my dislike of that place. I made sure I told him that during our last encounter. Back then, I figured he'd perfectly understand if I had to abruptly leave him to escape the risk of getting caught. I didn't think of the possibility of such an outcome, however.

"So you don't want to go back," he said rather than asked. And still, his eyes weren't on me. I tried to look into them but they were cleverly hidden by those stray wisps of his hair that served as curtains whenever he bowed his head.

I nodded, as if he could see. "Yes. And that's why I have to keep going… That's why I can't stay here; I have to keep going if I want to achieve my goal and live my dreams…"

"So why can't I!?" His yell was something short of a cry. His voice skipped and I could hear the choked sobs he tried to keep at bay. Several droplets of his tears plummeted onto the mirrored belt he always wore about his lean, muscular torso. The Dvapara-Yuga. "Why can't I live my dreams of being with you, Seung Mi Na?"

He suddenly glanced up to me in all of his teary-eyed glory, and that didn't give me a chance to respond to him. Not like I could have figured out a response for him anyway. My mind was focused on the raw emotion he displayed and how it made my heart sink. Tears were forming rivulets down his visage and as he slowly approached me, I felt his warm body trembling.

"This whole world doesn't revolve around you," he said, his voice suddenly a low baritone. Then there was a crescendo in volume: "Stop thinking of yourself and your dreams and try to understand others'. Start by at least trying to understand mine!"

"How dare you say that!?" Enraged with his assumption, I lashed out a palm to slap him across the face.

Conversely, he defended himself by lazily catching my wrist in a raised hand. His fingers curled about the flesh of my wrist, tightly, though not with a constricting grip; it was enough to keep me from trying to slap him again. Or from running away…

"What's the matter? Did I hit the nerve that hard?"

In spite of myself, I scowled at him. Crying or not, I was still infuriated with his remark about me being selfish. If only he knew what stress and emotional turmoil I went through to not be with him, even though I so dreadfully wanted to… "How can you say such a thing, Kilik?!"

"Because it's true, Mi Na. Don't you think so?" He released my hand and continued talking. "Everything you do has to benefit only you. It's like everything else and everyone else don't matter. You never stop to think of what your actions may do to others…"

"That's not true at all!"

"Oh? So then why won't you let me help you achieve your goal? Why do you keep running away from me, refusing me?"

Unable to stand being under his admonishing glare, I turned my back to him with one of my trademarked huffs. "Because I don't want to drag you into something I may regret! I don't want you to run into Hwang!" There. I said it. I hoped that'd make him satisfied.

He didn't look the part, though. "…Seung Mi Na, I don't care," he whispered now. His crying had ceased, thank the gods, and he looked rather collected despite some shakiness in his voice or the constant curling of his fingers into fists. And before I knew what was going on, he ensnared his arms about me, keeping his hands locked together at my belly and resting his chin on my shoulder so that I can hear—no, feel his breath tickling my ear. His grip kept me in place so I couldn't escape him. And I didn't want to. "I only care about you. I…"


[meanwhile…]

He was taking an awfully long time.

"…I'm tired."

I mean, how long can it possibly take you to run after someone and come 'right back', like he said?

"…Kinda hungry, too."

And just why did he run off after her? It was obvious that she didn't want to be around him, so what gives? Did she have something he want?

"Thirsty. I'm thirsty…"

The desire to know what in the world just happened between Kilik and that crazy Korean girl drove my nerves to the edge. It made my teeth gnash like they do whenever I hear the sound of bones popping or nails raking down a rock. I turned about and unleashed my anger in the form of a snap at the nearest person: a half-drunk, half-awake Ryukyu pirate. "Stop whining, Maxi! It's getting very irritating to hear your voice at the moment!"

Maxi only regarded me with a flat gaze. Then… he let out a burp. A long and loud one at that.

Why me?

Frowning and on the verge of throwing him into the nearest pig-pen, I, instead, turned back to gaze at the thick forest that Kilik had ran into, hoping that he'd appear running back towards Maxi and I to say that the girl was too fast for him and that he will never see her again. The thought of that brought a bit of a smile to my face.

And then I blinked, realizing Kilik wasn't there. He was probably successful in his pursuit… But I didn't want to think of that ever happening. I wanted to be the one he ran after. Not her.

My little smile faded again when I came to the realization that I felt way different about Kilik than the way I felt when I first met him all those months back in northern India. I always thought of him as being a dense and uneducated boy who knew nothing about females. But after seeing his fierceness and dedication in the heat of battle, and learning about his tragic past and his hopes for the future, I developed something…

I didn't know what it was until after the situation at Rhodes. The Korean girl and I had a misunderstanding—you know, the sort of things only other females can relate to. I figured Kilik, my friend and a complete stranger to this 'Seung Mi Na' girl, would side with me. Except things went differently. He defended her. Not only that, he thought I was being obnoxious towards her. The nerve!

Normally, when others accuse me of behaving a certain way, be it too coy or obnoxious or immature, I often argue back or shrug it off; in any case, I don't let such trifle things get to me. But only his words struck a chord within me. Then I realized I was jealous. I, Xianghua, was emerald-green with envy towards Seung Mi Na. It made me sick to my stomach.

I didn't want to think of myself as the jealous type, and Kilik only served to remind me that for a brief moment, he was not on my side and perhaps charmed by a tomboyish girl from Korea. Impulsively, I distanced myself away from him and Maxi. Big time. I made up a silly little lie, saying that several people from my traveling Chinese Opera Troupe were having a rendezvous that I needed to attend to in Germany. Then I left.

That was the stupidest thing I ever did in my seventeen [1] years of life. While I was alone in Germany, I was regretful and I kept searching everywhere for them, frantically, like a chicken with its head cut off. When I heard from some girls that they spotted the ever-so-handsome Kilik around, I almost leaped with insane joy.

We finally reunited. He apologized to me, which I didn't expect; maybe someone gave him advice? Or maybe he realized what happened to me? I don't know about that. All I know is that I was elated to be reconciled with him. Everything was just perfect between us, even as we set off to find Maxi and return to our initial journey. True, we found Maxi. But then we found Seung Mi Na, too. And then everything went downhill from there…

Why can't things that happen in pairs be of the same kind? Why can't it be good-good, and not good-bad?

"Xianghua."

Maxi's voice stirred me from my thoughts. I glanced to him. "I can see that you're worried to death about Kilik," he said.

Worried was not the word. It was more like eager to see him come back alone. "I'm… I just don't want to know what this can mean for us."

"…Yer gonna have to explain that one to me. I'm kinda INTOXICATED," he grumbled to me, with a growl in the place of the last word.

I resisted the urge to smack him into sobriety. I huffed and folded my arms across my chest, instead. "What I mean is… what if something happens that will turn the tide for us in our journey?"

"Psshaw. That ain't gonna happen."

"You sound so sure of yourself, drunk-o."

"That's because I am," Maxi muttered while patting a hand against his chiseled chest. "I, for a fact, know that Mi Na has a similar goal to ours. She wants to get the 'Sword of Salvation.'"

That was all I needed to hear. With a sudden burst of speed, I bolted into the darkness that was the forest.


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[1] Just how old is Xianghua? Is she sixteen or seventeen? I learned different things from different sources, so I wouldn't know. And I didn't feel like hooking up my Dreamcast to check...

A/N: Wow! It's been a while since I posted around here, huh? Er. Blame it on writer's block... ^_^;; Like I said, I decided to try something new and I wrote this in the first person, though I think I dragged on with Xianghua's part.. Hm. So what do you think? The story is going to go back to the third person---I just wanted to see if I can, in fact, write in first.. and on a side note, I might change my pseudonym...
Anyways, please read and review!!!!