Through New Eyes

Okay, tell me that wasn't different. Yeah I know, there are still some of you who don't like the fact that Mamoru did that to Usagi that he was OOC and shit like that. But hey people, it happens in real life. It hasn't happened to me but I'm sure there are girls out there who think their boyfriends really love them and all and it ends up all they want them for is sex. It happens. Okay I know I'm twelve and I don't really know the real world out there, in reality I'm still in my little bubble. But letting you know I haven't seen a GW/SM crossover where Usagi contracts HIV and this is something that is going on around us. I know someone reading this might have AIDS or HIV and is really pissed that we're writing this when we don't know how it feels, how it's like, what you deal with everyday but I think writing this fic is to inform us clueless people of what it is. I mean thousands maybe millions even billions perhaps are living with this disease. We're not here to lecture you on safe sex and to be careful of your boyfriends or girlfriends but this stuff happens in real life and that's why we're writing this. So I'll shut up and write this chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own GW/SM. Don't sue, I have like a penny. A penny for your thoughts?

Note: Vote for your favorite guy! Okay, Millardo and Treize are not choices. Also, some minor senshi blaming. Well if I presented it well, you will understand what her reasoning is.

Sung to Deck the Halls:

OOC is everywhere now

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Can you see it plain and clearly,

Fa la la la la, la la la la

I don't get it why do I do this

Fa la la la la, la la la la

So be wary of OOC

Fa la la la la, la la la la

There

Through New Eyes

Chapter Three

I'm as Good as Dead

By: SilverRay

Usagi didn't say anything. She stared at Hiiro for a moment and then her eyes shifted to Duo who was standing next to him. Duo looked unhappy and a bit sad. Her eyes fell onto Wufei which was standing next to the braided boy. He looked a bit sad and perhaps depressed. No weak onna or curses came from his mouth. His mouth was set into a thin line and his eyes held sadness. She looked over at Trowa. The emerald eyed boy's face remained emotionless but his eyes held perhaps remorse. Finally, her eyes reached Quatre. The boy looked as if he was going to break down crying any moment. Usagi looked away from the boys and out the window. It was all his fault. She looked down at herself. She was disgusted with herself. How could this have happened to her? Why did this happen? She let her hand rest on her stomach. Was she pregnant? Was Chibi Usa growing inside of her? She wished her friends were here to tell her everything would be all right and….she choked on a sob. She failed them. They sacrificed their lives so she could live a happy life and now she couldn't. But they had said that she wasn't going to die. Them as in the five boys. "I'm going to die aren't I?" she whispered.

No one said anything once more. It was silent. Usagi looked up at the five boys. "It's an old form of HIV, perhaps the one of the first. It's different than the disease now and they never found a cure for it then, and they don't have one for the new form. HIV and AIDS have mutated over the years," Trowa replied, not really answering her question. "But there is a chance that you might-"

"I'm going to die!" Usagi cried. She wrapped her arms around herself and cried letting the tears run down her cheeks. Her body shook as sobs racked her body. Duo placed an arm around her shoulders but she didn't notice. If she had a choice she would run away. She wanted to run away from everything. She just wanted to die in peace. Now she would die without her senshi, her friends. "Doushite!" she cried. "Why did you have to die minna? Why did you leave me alone?" she hid her face in her hands and sobbed. Duo tried his best to comfort her by rubbing her shoulders and telling her everything would be all right. Words like, 'it doesn't mean you're going to die,' and 'if you give up you will die so if you believe in yourself you might make it through.' But Duo's words didn't make a difference really, she just continued to cry.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Quatre asked in a whisper.

Usagi looked up once more. "I didn't want to burden you and I didn't want you all to hate me." Tears came more rapidly and more sobs escaped her throat.

After a few minutes she fell asleep, tears still staining her face. Duo pulled the sheets over the girl and left. The other four boys didn't move. Quatre sniffled. He wished he could help the girl but there was no known cure. He sighed and left. He was going to pay for some medicine that could hopefully help her even though there was no real cure they would prolong her life perhaps another ten or twenty years. He was slightly worried that she might not take them and would rather die. But even he knew that if she contracted a disease while she had HIV or AIDS, it would kill her. The pills would only help her immune system not prevent every disease that came along.

Trowa stared at the girl that still looked somewhat pained even in her sleep. How could that man do that to her? He wondered who he was to do such a thing. The boy leaned over and brushed away any remaining traces of her tears that were drying. How could someone do that to her? She seemed like such a kind person but she held such a burden. And now, this happened to her. He turned around and left.

Wufei turned and left the room. He began to wander through the hospital hallways. It was injustice that a strong onna be forced to live like a weak onna. (no offense to anyone who has HIV) But the strong fight to live. Whether it was a disease or a war. And if she fought against the disease or tried to live than she was strong. She would probably be a good strong onna. If she fought against all those enemies of hers and lived, she was be a good onna. Wufei stopped at his words. A good onna?

Hiiro didn't move, even after all the other boys left. He stood there with his arms crossed over his chest. He stared at the girl and felt regret hit him. The first time since he killed that little girl on accident so long ago. If he knew earlier what type of life she had been living perhaps he wouldn't have pulled his gun out and threaten to kill her. She didn't seem to ever do anything wrong. The Japanese boy looked up for a moment to make sure no one was around. He stepped towards the girl, he felt awkward. He knelt down beside her bed and gingerly picked up her hand. (can anyone say OOC?) He leaned over until his mouth was right beside her ear. "I'll protect you no matter what."

Usagi felt herself falling. To where, she didn't know. Memories passed by her, not in her mind but she was watching from another point of view. Eating crapes, watching the star seeds being taken from her friends, getting a new transformation, learning a new attack, that kiss from Seiya, jumping after Chibi Usa, her dream, the switch with Chibi Usa, her haste (haste is also known as pure heart) coming out, saving Hotaru, giving up the Holy Grail, watching Chibi Usa's haste being removed, Neptune and Uranus' talismans, finding out that Haruka and Michiru were senshi, Chibi Usa coming back, getting her own haste removed, the dream of destruction, battling wise man and the doom phantom, battling side by side with Chibi Usa, going to the future, meeting Chibi Usa, defeating Beryl, finding out that she was the moon princess, becoming Sailor Moon. Memories, all hers. Then it stopped. The day when the senshi died. When that memory showed up she stopped falling. She watched it over and over. "STOP!" she screamed.

Sure enough it did, only to be replaced with a new memory. That night when…."I don't want to see it AGAIN!" Usagi screamed. It stopped.

Usagi we want you to be happy.

"Rei-chan?"

The fire senshi materialized in front of her.

Use our gift wisely.

"You're gift?" Usagi asked, hate and bitterness in her voice. "I'm going to die, you didn't give me a gift. You just gave me a new way to die. Leave me alone Makoto."

Usagi you have powers to protect. Find new love.

"Minako-chan I don't ever want to fight anymore. You've been fighting longer than me, you know how it feels!"

Try to be happy.

Usagi glared at the water senshi. "Happy in death," she whispered, hate filling each word.

Koneko, they aren't awakened fully.

"I don't care anymore. Just let me die in peace," Usagi sat down in the empty black space.

Happiness is there if you strive for it.

"I don't believe it. How can you say that? You will have Haruka even in death. I have no one."

The time is now to start.

"I don't get it. Why start when you're going to die?"

Princess, there's hope. Believe in that hope and you can overcome everything. Start anew once more.

Usagi looked up to see the violet haired girl standing in front of her. "I can't overcome such a disease. It's just impossible." The golden haired girl let a sob escape her throat, she shook her head. "AND YOU ALL LEFT ME!" She screamed. The senshi didn't do anything. "YOU LET HIM DO THAT. You promised to protect me no matter what once. But no….you leave me to this cruel fate, to always be alone."

You were never alone. If you truly believe in people who care about you, then you will survive.

The golden haired girl looked up to see nothing but blue eyes staring back at her. They were calm, serene. But as soon as she saw them, they disappeared. "Who are you?" she asked in a whisper. She looked around herself. Her senshi were gone. The voice floated through the air again. You are waking up. Usagi shook her head. But as soon as the action was completed, she was awake. No one was in the room besides Hiiro and Duo.

"They'll be back soon," Duo sighed, answering her silent question. She looked at him and nodded. She didn't feel like talking. She felt as if she had died already. "Hey by the way," he paused shifting his eyes to Hiiro and around the room. He leaned closer to the girl. "Could you tell us the name of the guy that…" Usagi's eyes widened a little bit. "You know." The girl immediately pushed him away from her.

Usagi didn't say anything. She was afraid that if she actually said his name, it would all been true. The pain, the thoughts, the deaths, everything. Duo noticed her reaction. He gently put a hand on her arm. "We want to help you," he said softly. Usagi looked at the braided boy. He seemed so kind, sincere, and caring right now. She looked away for a moment. Should she really tell them? It was over so it really didn't matter one way or not. She looked away one more.

"Chiba Mamoru," she nearly spat.

Duo looked at her for a moment. "We'll see what happened to him." He gave her a reassuring smile. Usagi didn't smile nor did she look at him. Duo sighed. She seemed to get so distant after hearing the news. His eyes shifted to Hiiro. Whoa now he was 'friends' with two detached people, a justice boy, a silent dude, and a nice guy. What a crew. He looked back at Usagi. He hoped she would still be whatever person she was before she met them. Perhaps she was happy and cheerful. Her soul seemed to radiate kindness, hope, and love. Not love from one lover to another, not a love from a parent to child or vise versa. It was a love for everything. Life especially. Duo furrowed his eyebrows. He usually didn't notice such things but from Usagi, it just seemed so clear, so present.

Just then the door opened. Duo stepped away from the bed to look at his friends. Trowa and Wufei stepped in. "Where's Quatre?" he asked.

Wufei looked up. He seemed troubled or disturbed. "He's finishing filling out some forms." The chinese boy looked at Usagi and followed her gaze out the window. She climbed out of the bed slowly. Trowa moved to stop her.

"I heal fast. Not to add I've seen death's face more than once," she stated. Trowa stopped. She sounded so dead. When he heard her speaking earlier, about her past and to Quatre, she sounded so kind, caring, her voice somewhat musical. But it changed filling with pain during the story. Now it could have been a monotone that matched Hiiro's. He watched as the girl opened up the window. She stood there for a moment, letting the breeze pass by her before she turned around. Her eyes narrowed.

"What do you want," she hissed to no one, or so it seemed to Trowa. "You left me once and I made it this far. This far," she repeated with a deadly hiss. "and still you pretend to try to protect me!" She shook her head. Trowa was thoroughly confused. "iie, iie! Don't Usagi me, don't princess me. Rei-chan, you said Mamoru would be there for me." She lowered her voice once more. "And what, this is being with me. After he raped me and tried to kill me! What was all that fighting for? Minna hear me now. There is no victory when all there is left is emptiness. No more hope, no more life, no more anything. I never want to love again!" she screamed.

All eyes of the living were on her. Usagi spun around so she faced the window once more. "Now leave me to die in peace. You've done your duty, you've tried protected me. But you failed your duty, you might as well let me go."

The golden haired girl would have loved to throw herself out the window that moment. But still, even though she blamed them for her predicament, she would live because they died for her. Her eyes turned up to the sky. Her eyes settled on the faint site of the moon. Her eyes narrowed. "Doushite?" she whispered. "Why did I ever love him?"

The door to the room opened up. Quatre walked in. "Usagi," he called out to the girl. She made no move to look at him. "You should go change. I have everything we need and we can leave now."

Usagi didn't say anything to anyone. She gathered up her clothes and walked into the bathroom. Quatre sat down in a chair and sank into it. He sighed and looked up. He saw a senshi in front of him. He almost gasped in surprise. She closed her eyes in concentration and seemed to become more normal looking. Not so ghostly. She turned around. "I am Senshi of Venus," she looked down. She fingered her sword for a moment, her slightly darker golden hair tumbled around her face. "I know Usagi will take this hard. But," she looked at each of the boys in turn. "please look after her. She looked after us before we…" she glared at Wufei. "Don't even say it. She's our princess, our friend, our protector. I just want the best for her. Please look after her."

The door to the bathroom opened and the senshi was gone. Usagi stood in the place of the door. "Let's go," she walked straight for the door out of the room. Quatre shuddered. Her voice was so cold and emotionless. He stood up to follow. Duo followed shortly afterwards. Wufei left the room, then Trowa, and finally Hiiro. Hiiro stared at the girl ahead. She had changed since he met her. She seemed to have emotions, anger, happiness, sorrow, all in which he was deprived of. And now, she was throwing them all away. Hiiro didn't want anyone to know how he felt in life. He followed the silent procession out of the hospital. He didn't want her happiness to go to waste.

The golden haired girl stood on her balcony. She looked up at the stars and the seemingly dead moon. She smirked. Served her right. She sent her to the life, a life where there was 'happiness'. She was a cruel mother, sending her to this fate. She wished that her life had been without the battles and such. Perhaps more normal was the word. Usagi's eyes settled on a rose that sat on the balcony table of her room. She picked it up. A red rose. She ignored the thorns, her minor bleeding. She concentrated. Soon it wilted and died. She smirked. She hoped it was the same for him, a slow and painful death for him. But in the end she really didn't care. Everything was as good as dead to her now.

"It was a beautiful rose, you shouldn't have killed it," a voice came from the doorway.

Usagi grunted. Trowa was slightly shocked at how emotionless she was. She could almost pass for Hiiro if you altered a few things. "A red rose is an evil rose to me," she replied, her tone cold.

Trowa walked to stand beside the girl. "Why do you do this to yourself?" he asked. "You're a beautiful person Usagi." The girl raised an eyebrow. "You're beautiful inside, why kill it?"

"If I don't deserve the happiness inside of me, than no one should see it," she replied. "I'm as good as dead Trowa, you might as well get used to it."

The green eyed boy looked at her. She was giving up. For a person who had battled for four years, she was giving up hope quickly. She had survived this long with such a strong heart and soul, and then give up. "Usagi," he started. He didn't know why he spoke so much now, so much to express his thoughts to a girl he met only a little while ago. "Don't give up hope now." Before he realized it, he reached out and gently turned her face so he could see it. "You deserve happiness. Happiness after the long battle. Don't let something such as this slow you down." He leaned closer to her, his bangs brushing against her forehead. He noticed her eyes widened the slightest bit. "Because I want you to be happy." They stared at each other, no words leaving their mouth until Trowa pulled away from her a bit. "Be happy Usagi," he whispered and walked away.

The golden haired girl stared at the spot where he was in. She shifter her gaze to look over to the stars. ould she let herself be happy?

Breakfast the next morning was quiet. Soon enough, Duo came bounding into the room. Apparently, a good nights sleep made him forget the whole ordeal yesterday. Or this was the best way he figured to make people a little happier. He plopped down in the chair beside Usagi. He had his normal grin plastered onto his face. "Hey there gorgeous, how are you this morning?" he asked.

Usagi glared at him. Duo cringed inside. Gosh she could pull off being Hiiro. "Hn," she replied. Everyone at the table stared at her. "I'm fine," she replied.

"Oh yeah," Duo dug around in his pant's pocket for a moment and pulled out a folded sheet of paper. "I found out about that Mamoru guy." He handed Usagi the sheet of paper. "Look at this. This is great." He was grinning once more, kinda of like a maniac but normal for Duo Maxwell.

Usagi eyed the boy for a moment and unfolded the sheet of paper. She studied it for a moment, a smirk appeared on her face. It read:

Psycho claims to be King

During the motorcycle race, Chiba Mamoru ran out into the middle of the track wearing a Burger King crown. He kept on saying that he was the husband of Sailor Moon who has been decease for several years. He stated that since he is her husband then he should have title of King of the World. No one believed him thus he was bombard with peanuts, ice cream cones, and cotton candy. That is, before his sudden death when the motorcycles reached him. His doctor said that he was mentally unstable and was afraid something like this would happen. No commentary was found from Sailor Moon and right now she has been reported missing. But then again, is Sailor Moon who we really think she is? Tsukino Usagi was found missing after school one day was Chiba Mamoru's girlfriend. Does this psycho who claims to be king in a Burger King crown have anything to do with it? If any additional information to the missing girl and the psycho which claims to be king is found, please notify the police at 1-800-MAMORUISDUMB. (what a weird phone number.)

Quatre watched as Usagi's smirk in the beginning turned into a straight face. He could have sworn that there were tears in her eyes. "Usagi…" he began, unsure of what to say. Duo had shown them the article as soon as Hiiro found it the night before. "it'll be-"

The golden haired girl pushed her chair away from the table and stood up. She immediately left the kitchen with no words. Quatre stood up to follow her but Trowa put a hand on his arm. The blonde haired boy looked at the silent boy but the only response he got from him was the boy shaking his head. The Arabian sat back down and looked at the place where Usagi had been sitting earlier. What would she do?

Usagi sat on a chair beside the pool. She stared at the basically still waters. So he forgot that without her there would be no Crystal Tokyo. He raped her still and tried to throw her off of the cliff. But he still wanted power. Power that he wouldn't have been able to get without her. She was glad that he died, served him right. But if she had it her way, it would be more painful. So they had known that she were missing. She sighed. She wondered what Luna and Artemis did. She wondered how much they knew about what had happened to her.

She looked up as she heard the distinct cry of Wufei. "MAXWELL! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!" she watched as the braided boy ran by, laughing his brains out as Wufei chase him with his katana. Wufei gave up as soon as Duo rounded a corner. He looked at his sword. "If only you were longer," he muttered. "I might as well go take a shower now. Damn that braided baka. He'll hear from me when I see him again."

The girl watched him turn around and go. An idea popped into her mind. She waited a minute before she followed Wufei to the east wing of the mansion, where all their rooms were kept. She paused in front of his door and opened it slowly. She peered in, Wufei wasn't anywhere visible. She quietly crept into the room. She spotted what she wanted sitting on Wufei's bed. Usagi smirked and went over and picked it off of the bed and quietly crept out.

Wufei walked out of the bathroom, towel around his waist. Something seemed out of place. His eyes scanned his room for a moment. Nothing seemed out of place. His eyes settled on his bed. His katana. He quickly threw on a pair of pants "MAXWELL!" he screamed. "YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!"

When the Chinese boy finally found Duo he was talking to Quatre in the kitchen. Trowa sat next to them and Hiiro sat typing away at his lap top. "MAXWELL!" he growled. "WHERE IS MY KATANA!"

Duo stared at him blankly. "We were here the whole time. I mean after you stopped chasing me, I came here. Honest!"

Quatre nodded. "He's been here for about the last fifteen minutes."

Wufei scratched his head. Odd. If everyone was here than….no. The chinese boy spun around and ran out of the kitchen.

Usagi let the breeze toss her golden hair a bit. She opened her eyes and looked out at the forest that backed the mansion. "Minna, wait for me." She raised the katana up. If she brought it down, it would pierce her stomach. She knew what she was going to do. She had after all, done it before. But she regretted the reasoning now. All for a stupid bastard. She closed her eyes. Pain, that's the type of death she needed. A painful one. And that was what she was going to get. This would make up for all the pain she had ever inflicted on anyone. Any deaths she caused. Her death would be the best. She opened her eyes.

She had always been a burden. Always been annoying, stupid, clumsy, and just a pain. But now, no more.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Um. I'm done. Please. I know everything was OOC. Mainly Usagi, Hiiro, Wufei a bit, Duo especially, and well Trowa too. God damn it everything is OOC. Screw that. Oh well um, review. Please try to avoid the flames, please? August 4, 2001 3:08 am.