As The Stomach Turns
(Or Who's Dating Who)
"Why can't we skip study hall today?" Lance asked Kitty.
"Because I have a lot of homework I want to get done," She told him getting books out of her locker.
"Aw man," Lance sighed. "Well how about we sit together?"
"Is it okay?" She asked with a worried look on her face. "I don't want you to get…in trouble if you do."
"Oh don't worry about it," Lance told her. "Actually now that you mention it, Mystique has been a lot more distracted than usual lately. She doesn't even seem to care anymore what we do as long as we're home on time."
"Well that's a relief," Kitty sighed.
"Yeah so we have nothing to worry about," He smiled. Then a shadow passed over his face. "Uhhhh."
"Is there something wrong?"
"No, nothing," Lance told her, quickly collecting himself. "I've just been having headaches lately. Nothing I'm not used to."
"Oh," Kitty sighed. They went down the hall. "Oh I forgot my notebook in my computer class," She went into the room. "I'll just…Whoa!" She gasped as she opened the door. She looked in and found Mr. Parker and Ms. Rafael kissing. So did any other student that happened to be walking by. Several wolf whistles and cheers rang out.
"Uh sorry," Kitty gulped grabbing her notebook. "Didn't know anyone was in here. Gotta go!"
"Way to go Mr. Parker!" Lance cheered. "OW!" He winced as Kitty pinched him and dragged him away. "What?"
"La-ance," Kitty hissed. "You didn't have to embarrass them like that!"
"Me? I'm not the one who walked in on them. Besides it's funny! Gives the student body something new to talk about! The Principal Kelly thing's getting kind of old anyway."
"The what? What are you talking about?"
"Come on Kitty," Lance laughed. "The entire school knows about Principal Kelly and his secretary!"
"You're kidding?" Her eyes widened. "How long has this been going on?"
"Months," Lance told her. "But what I'd like to know is how long Mr. Parker's been with Ms. Rafael." They walked down the hallways, oblivious to someone watching them.
"So would I," Ms. Baron frowned, upset at this latest news.
Meanwhile at lunch Paul was sitting down with Scott and Evan. He had been hanging around Scott more often lately. "Okay let's see if I get this straight," Paul said. "Scott is now dating Jean, Kitty is still dating Lance, Rogue is dating Remy. Kurt is dating Amanda. Tabitha is dating Ray…am I forgetting anyone?"
"Duncan is dating half the cheerleading squad," Evan snickered. "But that doesn't really count! What did Jean ever see in that loser?"
"Well I just heard the latest dish," Kitty sat down with them. "Guess what? You know Mr. Parker and Ms. Rafael? They were just like caught kissing in the computer room!"
"WHAT?" Paul gasped. "Are you sure?"
"Saw them myself," She told him.
"Excuse me I gotta go see the nurse," Paul got up. "My stomach is kind of acting up." He walked away.
"Gross," Evan frowned. "Teachers kissing. There goes my appetite."
"Well it does happen," Kitty told him. "I mean look how long it's been going on between Principal Kelly and his secretary."
"What are you talking about Kitty?" Scott asked. "Principal Kelly would never do something like that! Would he?"
"Oh come on Scott," Kitty rolled her eyes. "Where have you been? Everyone knows about Kelly and his secretary. Get a clue."
"Yeah Scott even I know about that," Evan told him.
"How?" Scott asked.
"Well let's just say there's a reason I don't go skating in the teacher's parking lot after school," Evan groaned.
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"I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!" Baroness screamed in the empty classroom. She glared at Zarana and her brother Zartan.
"You're making too big a deal out of this," Zarana told her.
"You were fraternizing with that Joe!" Baroness hissed. "That sounds like a pretty big deal to me! There are rules against this sister!"
"Since when?" Zartan asked her. "This is Cobra we're talking about remember? In fact isn't that how you got your job?"
"Shut up!" Baroness yelled at him.
"Oh yeah like I'm the only one sleeping around on this mission!" Zarana snapped back.
"I am not sleeping around," Baroness snapped. "I am merely setting Guyrich up! It's called intelligence gathering!"
"Well that's one way of putting it," Zartan chuckled.
"Quiet mercenary," Baroness snapped. "Maybe you'd like a pay cut?"
"However she does have a point sister dear," Zartan told her. "You should have been more honest with us about your dealings with the Joe."
"Oh really?" She gave Zartan a look. "And does that give her the right to know everything about everyone's private lives on this mission? Should we start informing on each other about every single time we take a little time off to blow some steam in a penthouse suite?"
"On the other hand as long as it's not harming the mission why not have a little fun?" Zartan quickly turned an about face.
"Yes I'm just doing a little intelligence gathering," Zarana said sweetly. "Just like you."
"Let me make this perfectly clear," Baroness hissed. "I have not now, nor do I intend to ever sleep with Guyrich! Got it?"
"That bad a kisser huh?" Zartan asked.
"You wouldn't believe," Baroness rolled her eyes. "The man hasn't a clue. Speaking of clueless I just found out something. One of the students may actually be Mystique in disguise."
"Really," Zartan said smoothly. "I'll have to look into that. Don't worry Baroness I'll take care of that personally."
"See that you do," She told him. "We don't need any more loose ends around here! The Joes must be having a field day over this!"
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"Well this is great!" Falcon groaned. "This is just great! I knew this would happen! I knew it! You are fooling around with Zarana!" He glared at Mainframe.
"Just once or twice," Mainframe gulped.
"Well this is perfect," Falcon threw up his hands. "Just perfect. First your kid finds out about us on the first day and now this! How long has this been going on?"
"Uh technically it started long before the mission," Mainframe gulped.
"I know that! What I want to know is what day you started sleeping with the enemy? And what you told her!"
"I haven't told her anything! It was just sex! Oh god," Mainframe hid his face.
"Oh is that all?" Falcon said sarcastically. "So when did this start? Two weeks ago? Three? Come on give me a date. I know you didn't get it on with her on the first day because you told me…." He looked at Mainframe. His face told him everything. "Oh man, you lied to me!"
"No I didn't!" Mainframe defended himself. "I wasn't with her at the time…until about ten minutes after I told you about Paul that is…"
"Oh well that's just great!" Falcon threw up his hands again. "This mission is so screwed! You are so screwed! I'm screwed! We're all screwed! In more ways than one! Cobra must be having a field day with this!"
"Hey I'm not the only one allowing my personal life to interfere with the mission!" Mainframe shouted. "Remind me again, which one of us allowed the Brotherhood to steal the entire school's supply of toilet paper and let them TP the parking lot because he was trying to compose a poem to his ex-girlfriend?"
"This is not about me this is…" He stopped when he saw Alpine and Bazooka come in. "What is it? This better be good!"
"We found out something interesting," Alpine said. "A bit of Cobra action that's not exactly combat related if you get my drift."
"I know," Falcon glared at Mainframe.
"Not him," Alpine said. "Zartan. You are not gonna believe this! Remember when Bazooka saw Risty turn into Mystique? Well it seems that she's now getting some tutoring sessions after class from Zartan."
"Does he know about her?" Mainframe asked.
"I saw the whole thing from a locked closet through a keyhole," Bazooka told him. "Trust me, he knows. But I don't think the Baroness does."
"What were you doing in a closet?" Mainframe asked.
"I locked myself in by accident," He told him.
"What is she up to?" Falcon asked. "If she knows about Cobra…but Cobra might not know about her…What is Zartan thinking? Oh wait maybe I should ask Mainframe here. He seems to know how members of that family think!"
"Just hold on a minute," Mainframe fumed. "Just because you haven't been able to get into Jinx's uniform doesn't mean…" He was cut off with Falcon's fist in his face.
"Will you two knock it off?" Alpine shouted as he separated them. "This is nuts! Look if headquarters finds out about this, both of you will land in the stockade if you're lucky! Do you want that to happen?" They both moved away. "I didn't think so. Okay so both of you made mistakes on this mission but it isn't over yet! Let's calm down and put our heads together and figure this out!"
There was a knock at the door. "Mr. Parker are you in there?" It was Paul's voice.
"Uh oh," Mainframe gulped. "What do we do? Do I pretend you guys are not here or what?"
"Oh no let him come in," Falcon droned. "Maybe there's some top secret files he'd like to read!"
Mainframe gave him a look and opened the door. "Don't worry," Paul told him. "I'm alone."
"Come on in the party's just starting," Falcon said.
Paul looked at Alpine and Bazooka. "Are they…?"
"Yeah," Mainframe nodded.
"Okay the security guard I can believe but the janitor?" Paul looked at him.
"Hey!" Bazooka pouted.
"Uh guys can we have some privacy?" Mainframe asked.
"Sure," Falcon shrugged. "Actually the way this mission is going I might recruit him to keep an eye on you!" The others walked out.
"Okay Dad what's this about you and Ms. Rafael?" Paul asked. "Is she part of your team too?"
"Not…exactly," Mainframe gulped.
"Oh I'm gonna love this," Alpine chuckled through the door.
"Shut up!" Mainframe shouted. He looked back at Paul. "You'd better sit down. This is kind of…. Complicated."
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"I hate afterschool detention," Evan grumbled as he came out of the detention room. There were spitballs in his hair.
"Let me guess, the Brotherhood?" Kurt asked. He had an afterschool project in the library due.
"Yeah I am gonna get that stupid Pietro," Evan grumbled. They came out of the building.
"Hey isn't that our teacher, Ms. Ark?" Kurt asked. She was standing on the corner a ways from them.
"Yeah looks like she's ready to go on a date," Evan nodded.
"Here he comes," Kurt pointed out. "Wait a minute…does that motorcycle look familiar to you?"
"Oh my god…" Evan gulped. "Is that…Logan?"
"No way," Kurt's jaw dropped.
"Oh man," Evan groaned. "Why do I have the feeling somebody up there wants to see me suffer?"
