Authors Notes: Hiya, Minna-chan! I'm REALLY pleased with how this chapter came out. It's pure humor Next to no seriousness in it whatsoever. MINOR Ririna bashing from Seiya. I'd like to give a big thanks to ALL of my muses! Couldn't have did this without you. Arigato, D-chan, Oneesan, Mary Kate-chan, Tenshi-chan, Himi-chan, Chibi Vampire-chan, Sati-chan!
***
Give a Reason
Chapter Fifteen: Truths, Is Usagi Pregnant?
Usagi grinned as she ate. She popped an odango in her mouth and let her mind wander. Wufei who was beside her glared at her. "Baka onna..."
Usagi swallowed the odango and smiled, "You only say that because you care, Fei-chan. Demo..."
"What now?" He demanded with a scowl.
Usagi blushed. "You're going to think I'm weird if I tell you..."
Wufei crossed his arms over his chest. On one hand he was relieved that the others had wanted him to take Usagi to the kitchen to snack while they talked. On the other side however he knew they were talking about him. "Try me, Onna."
"I'm having an odd craving..."
Wufei raised an eyebrow. "For?"
"Chocolate ice cream...."
Wufei snorted, "How is that odd?"
"... with lemons."
Wufei turned to her, "Nani?!?!"
Usagi flushed, "I told you that you'd think I was weird..."
Wufei forced his face into a scowling mask with great difficulty. He stared
at her for a long moment. "Have you been gaining any weight?"
Usagi gasped and stared at him for a long moment. "HOW DARE YOU!"
She screamed slapping him.
Wufei watched her storm off and frowned as he rubbed his sore and very red cheek. "Baka onna..."
Usagi sniffled and strode down the hall. Duo was half-walking half-running to her. "I heard you scream. Are you alright?"
Usagi sniffled again and threw herself in his arms sobbing. "Fei-chan was mean to me...."
Duo tensed his eyes filling with anger. "Did he hurt you? Try to kiss you? Touch you anywhere?"
Usagi sobbed and shook her head against his chest. "He..."
"He?" Duo demanded.
"Called me fat!!"
Duo relaxed partially. "That's it?"
"DUO!" Usagi slapped the startled indigo-eyed boy and stormed off.
Duo winced and held his hand to his cheek. "She's in a real bad mood today..."
"Cranky," confirmed Wufei as he strode towards the other boy.
"What'd you do to her, Wu-man?"
"Nothing, Maxwell..."
"You're hiding something aren't you?"
"She was craving chocolate ice cream-"
"What's so bad about that? We don't have any? Hey, you, servant go buy a fridge full of NOTHING but chocolate ice cream!"
Wufei scowled, "With lemons."
Duo's face twisted into disgust. "Ewwwww... how could she want something like that? Ice cream and oranges are much better."
Wufei scowled at the braided baka. "Don't you get it?"
"Get what? You actually think lemons and chocolate ice cream would be good?"
Wufei growled and resisted the urge to attack Duo with his katana. "She's having strange cravings."
"Yeah, and I'm craving some chocolate ice cream with some oranges. Wait here while I get some Wu-man."
Wufei growled in annoyance. "Maxwell..."
Duo turned, "Oh you want some too? Sure thing! Didn't know your stomach was so vocal."
Wufei grabbed Duo's braid before the youth could go and find his strange treat. "Listen to me."
Duo attempted to wrestle his braid free from Wufei's hand when the Chinese boy pulled out a small dagger and held it close to the braid. "What are you going to do with that eh, Wufei?" Duo asked nervously.
"Now stay still and listen to me, Maxwell or I'm going to slice it off."
Duo gulped. "Anything you say, Wufei, old buddy, old pal."
Wufei scowled in annoyance, "Usagi is having disgusting cravings. She's MORE then irritable and emotionally unstable. Don't you understand what all that means?"
"That you REALLY like Bunny because you called her by her name?"
Wufei tugged hard on Duo's braid making the boy yelp. "LISTEN YOU BAKA!"
"I'm listening, I'm listening!" Duo responded in pain.
Wufei stopped and bent down his eyes level with Duo's. "She's showing symptoms of a pregnant woman. Get it NOW?"
Duo stopped breathing and was shaken by Wufei again to come out of the trance. "Bunny's pregnant?" He squeaked.
"Did I say that?" Wufei demanded in annoyance.
Duo nodded. "Yeah..."
"Baka, why don't you try listening to me?"
"I did! You said Bunny's pregnant and is going to have triplets!"
Wufei narrowed his eyes and brought the knife closer to Duo's braid. "I said she MIGHT be pregnant."
"Nani!"
Wufei turned and saw Quatre standing there visibly shaking. "Now look what you made me do, baka," Wufei growled at Duo.
Quatre shook his head slowly, "Usagi is... Usagi is..."
Wufei threw Duo away and towards the wall. "I SAID MIGHT BE!"
"Might be what?" Demanded a calm cool voice.
Quatre turned and saw Trowa watching. "Usagi is pregnant..."
"MIGHT BE!" Wufei roared.
Trowa let only a flicker of shock cross his face. "Wufei, Duo why do you both have matching hand prints on your left cheeks?"
"Usagi," Both answered.
"Where did she go anyway?" Quatre asked outright glaring at Wufei. "What did you do to her THIS time?"
Wufei glared back, "She was the one having the strange cravings and I just asked her a simple question."
"What did you do to Koneko?" Demanded an outraged senshi of Uranus. She slammed both Wufei and Duo into the wall. She brought out her space sword and pressed it to their necks. "What did you do?"
"Nothing, honest!" Duo squeaked.
Wufei glared at Uranus. "You don't even realize it."
Uranus frowned slightly, "Realize what?"
"Bunny's pregnant with triplets," Duo responded gravely.
Uranus froze her eyes widening. "WHO?" She demanded, her blue eyes flashing with vengeance and a desire to kill the fool who had dared touch her Koneko in any shape way or form.
Duo slightly tilted his head, "Wu-man did it!"
Uranus freed Duo and glared at him, "You still made her cry, and when I'm finished with him I'm coming after you."
Duo nodded, "Anything you say," he responded as he slowly edged himself and his braid away from the sharp sword.
Uranus stared into Wufei's fury suppressed eyes. "How should I kill you? Slow or fast?"
Wufei growled, "I mentioned she COULD be."
"Fighting is wrong," Interrupted a voice.
Uranus pulled away and powered down her eyes still full of fury. "Who are you?"
"Ririna Peacecraft."
"How come you haven't been around before?"
"I was lost in the halls. Now let Wufei go and talk about it in a peaceful manner," she ordered gesturing to the living room's chairs. "We can talk about this."
Haruka scowled at her and turned back to Wufei. "I need to have a talk with Koneko about this... I'll be back for you after this is over. I won't forgive you and on behalf of Uranus I'll get revenge for her."
Ririna watched the other woman leave her eyes filling with confusion. "Where's Hiiro?"
Quatre smiled slightly a positively self-serving idea coming into his mind. "I'll go find him for you, Ririna-sama." He announced with a dazzling smile.
Ririna beamed, "Arigato, Quatre-san!"
Quatre smiled at her once more before almost running down the hall. 'But first I have to find Usagi and looking for Hiiro was the perfect opportunity. She can't be pregnant can she?'
"Quatre-sama," interrupted a servant.
Quatre turned slightly, "Hai?"
"We did as Duo-san requested."
Quatre's forehead wrinkled a tiny bit. "What did he request?"
"The chocolate ice cream with lemons is inside your new fridge."
Quatre fought to hide the shock in his eyes when another thought occurred to him. "You haven't happened to see Usagi-san go by around here have you?"
The servant nodded, "Hai, Quatre-sama. She ran to the gym I think."
Quatre grinned, "Arigato," he thanked the man and turned quickly to hide his grin.
**
Usagi glared at the training dummy she was using. 'How could Fei-chan call me fat...' Tears started to come to her eyes but she dashed them away attacking with a new vengence.
"You're going to break it at that rate," Interrupted a highly amused voice.
Usagi turned to see a smirking Seiya. "Seiya-chan!"
Seiya grinned as the girl practically flew into his arms and hugged him tightly. "Nice to see you to, Odango-chan."
Usagi pouted up at him her blue eyes shining, "Seiya-chan?"
Seiya mentally swallowed his eyes locked on her lips. "Hai?"
"Do... do you..."
"Do I what?" He asked bending down so his lips were close to hers.
"Do you think I'm fat?" Usagi asked quickly turning her head to the side causing her long streams of hair to belt Seiya in the face.
Seiya winced slightly, "Fat?"
Usagi nodded. "Hai, be honest, Seiya." She stepped away from him and slowly turned so he could see all of her. "Am I?"
Seiya looked her over from head to toe. "Honestly?"
Usagi nodded, "Honestly, Seiya-chan, I can take it."
Seiya smiled at her, "I think you're perfect, Usagi-chan."
Usagi promptly broke into tears. "Seiya, how could you!"
Seiya stared at her baffled, "Nani?"
"You're lying! You think I'm a whale!" Tears started to roll down her cheeks and with a sob she pushed by him and ran off. Not without first stomping on the former idol singer's foot though.
Seiya watched her go as he hopped on one foot. "All I did was tell the truth... smooth move, Seiya now she hates you."
"What did you do to Usagi-chan?" Demanded a furious voice as a swirl of cherry blossoms appeared in front of Seiya.
Seiya scowled, "What do you want, Ail?"
"What did you do to her?" The alien demanded.
"Just told her that she looked perfect."
"Nani? How could you! I'm the ONLY one that can tell her that!"
Seiya glared, "Will you just leave her alone? She already has enough guys chasing after her. She doesn't need someone who she thinks of as a mere friend to do the same!"
Ail frowned, "Friend? What are you talking about? It's obvious to me she cares I just have to get her to see the light. It's like that Ririna girl said the ones we love are blind and we have to open their eyes."
Seiya rolled his eyes and was about to leave when Ail grabbed his arm. "Hey, let go!"
"You're in the way of me making Usagi mine...." He smiled slightly, "UUUSSSAAAGGGIII!"
Seiya winced, "You learned that from that Ririna psycho didn't you?"
**
Usagi ran to the only solace she knew of; her room. She opened the door and slammed it behind her. She realized she wasn't alone and flushed as she saw Hiiro. "Hiiro..."
"Nani?" He asked seeing her tears and shaking figure.
"Minna-chan... minna-chan thinks..." Her face turned an interesting color and she whimpered. Instantly Hiiro's arms were around her.
"Daijobu ka, Usa-chan?
She shook her head, "Iie, I think I'm going to be sick, Hii-chan...."
Hiiro almost gently lifted her into his arms and took her to the restroom. "What happened?"
She looked up her blue eyes red-rimmed and bloodshot. "Minna-chan thinks I'm...."
"What do they think?"
"I'm FAT!" She wailed at the top of her voice.
Hiiro winced slightly, "Calm down, Usa."
She sniffled, "Nande?"
"You're going to get yourself even sicker crying like that."
Usagi stifled her cries and rubbed her face against her shirt. Hiiro frowned and handed her a tissue. "Arigato, Hii-chan," she whimpered before using it.
"Now start at the beginning."
Usagi took a deep sniffle. "I was in the kitchen eating odangos with Fei-chan when a craving hit me."
Hiiro scowled slightly at Wufei's nickname. "Hai?"
"I told him about it and then...."
"What was the craving?" Hiiro mentally slapped himself. 'Why do I care about her cravings?' He mentally sighed as he came to a realization. 'Because I want to know every little thing about her.'
Usagi sniffled, "Chocolate ice cream with lemons... I actually wouldn't mind having some right now." Her eyes began to shine at the thought and she forgot about her nausea.
Hiiro frowned slightly. 'Chocolate ice cream with lemons? Demo... that sounds like something a pregnant woman would crave.' His eyes traveled to Usagi's smooth small stomach and without realizing it he started to reach out.
Usagi broke out of her daydream as she saw Hiiro reaching. "ECCHI!" She screamed slapping him even harder then she had hit Duo and Wufei. She started to get up when his hand grabbed her wrist.
"Don't you realize it, Usa-chan?"
"Realize what? That's you're an ecchi?"
Hiiro scowled faintly, "Usagi," he growled.
She glared up at him blue eyes filled with wrath. "I can't believe I actually liked you! You were trying to cop a fool you.. you... HENTAI!"
The door slammed open and Wufei, Duo, Quatre and Trowa entered. "Who's a hentai?" Duo asked with a grin.
Usagi pointed to Hiiro. "HIM! He was trying to grab my chest!"
Four pairs of furious eyes filled with murderous intent turned on Hiiro. "I was going to feel her stomach," Hiiro informed with a scowl.
Usagi edged away from him, "Not ONLY a HENTAI but a sick twisted one at that."
Hiiro scowled in annoyance, "Don't you realize what's wrong with you, Usa?"
"What do you mean what's wrong with me?" She demanded a pout on her lips. She was hurt that Hiiro had tried to grab at her.
"The sick cravings," Wufei growled.
"Hey! I bet that ice cream of hers would taste good," Duo piped up but was silenced by a death glare from Wufei.
"The irritability," Trowa calmly informed.
"Mood swings," Quatre added in a tearful voice. He was furious the others had followed him and he hadn't got to have one single moment of time alone with his Goddess.
"The nausea," Hiiro added.
Usagi stared at them puzzled. "What are you all talking about? So today wasn't my best day but you make it sound like I'm dying or something."
Duo shook his head braid swinging, "Nope, you're going to have tri-" He was silenced by Wufei grabbing his braid and stuffing it into his mouth. "HMMPH!" Duo objected.
Quatre decided to use that moment to his advantage. "After we tell you this important thing you should know I had my servants get you some of that ice cream you wanted. The chocolate with lemons. An entire fridge is stocked with it just for you."
Usagi grinned, "Arigato, Quatre-chan!"
Trowa frowned faintly, "Usagi-hime, this is fairly important."
Usagi flushed and looked over, "Hai, Trowa-chan?"
Hiiro studied her for a long moment, "Have you been feeling overly tired, Usagi?"
Usagi shook her head, "Iie. Where are you going with all of this? Stop playing twenty questions and answer me!"
Duo spit out his braid, "You see, Bunny it's like this. Wufei told me you were pr-" he was once again silenced by his braid being shoved even farther down his throat.
"Silence, braided baka."
Duo glared at him and struggled to spit the hair out again. "HMH FHAI!"
Quatre scowled, "Usagi."
"It's like this," Trowa started.
"You could be-" Wufei began.
"Pregnant," Hiiro finished his eyes locked on hers. Usagi stared at them wide-eyed for a full moment before fainting.
***
Authors Notes: Okay not the best cliff-hanger but not a bad one. I'm starting
on the next chapter right now and it too will be purely humor based. Please
review.
