Meet the Delgatos
"Well here we are," Todd said as they walked in the house. "Casa Delgato. Now let's see what the little lunatics are up to. Oh be careful, they're really smart. Especially the girls."
"We can handle them," Scott smirked.
"Okay," Todd shrugged. "Don't say I didn't warn you."
Something green and yellow flew in and around the room several times squawking, buzzing over their heads. "Hey yo Polly watch it!" Todd shouted.
"Polly?" Kurt asked as the parrot came to rest on Todd's head.
"Yeah that's Shipwreck's bird yo," Todd said. "Hey bird! How's it going?"
"Hey he's kind of cute," Kurt said. "Does he talk? Hey does Polly want a cracker?"
"Awk! What Polly really wants is a beer!" The bird squawked. "What's with the freak show here?"
"Hey be nice bird," Todd said taking the parrot off his head and putting him on his shoulder. "This is Cyclops and Nightcrawler. I told you about them."
"Oh yeah the X-Geeks!" The bird squawked.
"It talks!" Scott was surprised.
"Yeah Shades, it talks!" Polly flapped his wings. "Geeze where did you dig this guy up? He's a real barrel of laughs!"
"Lovely bird," Kurt grumbled as Polly flew around.
"Whatever you do don't let that bird near any alcohol," Todd told them.
"Hey living in this nuthouse you need to stay half lit you half wit!" Polly squawked.
"Hey Cyke," Todd got an evil glint in his eye. "Ever wonder what Kentucky Fried Parrot tastes like?"
"No," Scott got the hint and adjusted his shades so that a glimmer of his eye beams could be shown.
"Awwk!" Polly screeched. "Hey what's he gonna do?"
"Nothing if you settle down and be a nice birdie," Todd told him. "Now where are the kids?"
"Baby's out back and the Evil Ones are upstairs," Polly said before screeching away. "I am out of here!"
"Humph," Todd grumbled. "Crazy bird. Okay, prepare yourselves. We are about to enter no-man's land. Prepare yourselves for the horrors that await you."
"Oh come on Toad how bad could they be?" Scott asked.
"We're not bad," A voice came from behind them. Kurt and Scott jumped around and found three identical girls standing behind them.
"Yeah and I'm the president of Bolivia," Todd grumbled. "Okay what did you do to Polly?"
"Nothing," The three girls answered sweetly. They looked adorable in identical pink tops and jean shorts. The only thing that separated them was their hairstyles.
"I'm Daria," The girl with a ponytail on the right spoke.
"I'm Quinn," The girl with a ponytail on the left spoke.
"And I'm Brittany!" The girl with pigtails cheered. "And you're cute!" She blinked at Scott. "What's your names?"
"I'm Scott and he's Kurt," Scott smiled. "It's nice to meet you."
"You're Todd's friends?" Quinn asked.
"Sort of," Kurt grumbled.
"You have such nice fur," Daria looked at it.
"You're not afraid of me?" Kurt asked.
"Why should I?" She replied. "You're a mutant too."
"Don't get any ideas!" Todd told her. He turned to Scott and Kurt. "Watch out for them! They pretend to be sweet but it's all an act!"
"Oh come off it Toad," Scott said.
"Would you like to see our room?" Brittany asked sweetly.
"I would love to," Scott took Quinn and Brittany's hands.
"Where's your brother?" Todd asked.
"In the pool," Quinn said. She looked at Scott. "I'll be ready to date in about five years."
"Oh brother," Todd rolled his eyes. "Come on Fuzzy, we'd better get the little tadpole."
"I'll go with the girls," Scott said walking with them to their room.
"He'll be sorry," Todd sighed. "Oh well, at least he can't say I didn't warn him."
"Oh come on Toad," Kurt said. "They seemed so nice."
"Listen you of all people should know that appearances mean nothing yo," Todd told them as they went out back. "Now where is the little guy?"
There was a splashing sound in a nearby pool. "Oh there he is," Todd looked down. "He's at the bottom."
"WHAT?" Kurt screamed. "We have to save him!" He dove in.
"Fuzzy no!" Todd shouted. "You'll scare him!"
But Kurt didn't hear. He swam down and to his surprise he saw the little toddler. He looked normal except that he had seal like flippers for hands and feet. The child didn't seem to be in any danger at all. He looked fine.
Then he saw Kurt and made a squealing sound. He tried to swim away, but Kurt cornered him. Kurt tried to grab him. That was when he saw the little mutant raise his flipper to hit him. Kurt suddenly realized that he couldn't hold his breath for much longer. The next thing he knew, everything went black.
Before he realized it, he was on the ground. He struggled back to consciousness, vaguely aware he was being watched. "No he won't hurt you," Kurt heard Todd's voice. "Go ahead. Give his tail a little tug."
Then a very sharp pain shot though his tail. "YEOOWW!" Kurt woke up screaming. He grabbed his tail away from the toddler.
"I said a tug, not a bite," Todd told the little mutant. "Oh well close enough."
"What in the world?" Kurt looked at the mutant. He was sitting in Todd's lap outside on the lawn.
"This is Claudius," Todd held the little mutant. "Or as I like to call him, Little C for short. Can you say hi to the fuzzball Little C?" At this Claudius blew a raspberry. "I knew you could."
Todd looked at Kurt. "I told you not to do that! He gets scared around new people easy. And he's got a pretty good right hook with that flipper of his. Pretty strong for a baby. Especially when he's scared and underwater."
"I thought he was drowning," Kurt said.
"Hello!" Todd moved the hair on Claudius' neck to reveal his gills. "Gills! Remember?"
"I forgot okay?" Kurt snapped.
"Good thing I was here to pull you out and calm the little guy down," Todd said. "That's twice I saved your fuzzy butt."
"Fuzzy!" Claudius giggled.
"And you," Todd nuzzled Claudius. "You're all wet! Well we gotta get you dried off? Huh? Yes we do!" He got up, carrying the baby. "Come on Blue Boy, let's all get dried off."
"Here you go," Todd tossed Kurt a towel. "You smell like a wet dog!"
"Yeah well at least I don't smell like a swamp!" Kurt snapped.
Todd took a whiff. "That ain't me." Claudius giggled. "Oh boy. I think it's time for a change!"
"Oh great!" Kurt grumbled.
"No problem," Todd waved. "Come on," They went into Claudius' room. It was brightly colored in a sailor motif.
"Here," Todd handed Claudius to Kurt. "I'll get his clothes and a fresh diaper. You undress him."
"Me?" Kurt whined.
"You don't have to change him!" Todd rolled his eyes as he started getting the clothing as well as the stuff he needed. "Just get him undressed!"
"You know how to change a baby?" Kurt asked, surprised. "Hey! Claudius! Hold still!"
"Yeah," Todd brought the supplies over to the changing table. "I had to help Althea baby sit a couple of times. You get used to it. Okay little guy let's see….WHOA!" He gasped.
"Oh man!" Kurt held his nose. "I thought you smelled bad!"
"Okay!" Todd quickly cleaned and changed the baby. "There we go! Now to get him dressed." Claudius squirmed, trying to escape. "Now come on! Don't hit me! Good Boy! There we are!" Claudius was now dressed in a little sailor suit. "Nice and clean!"
"Clean!" Claudius giggled. He climbed on Todd's back and hung on.
"Got a grip for someone without fingers," Todd chuckled. "Wanna Toad back ride? You got it!" Todd hopped around to Claudius' delight. "Come on Blue Boy get in the spirit of things. The first thing you gotta learn about hanging with this family is that you gotta have some fun!"
"Some family this is," Kurt grumbled. "Toad's psychotic girlfriend, an abusive parrot and a hyperactive baby with a punch stronger than the Blob's! Well at least the triplets are somewhat normal."
A loud scream was heard from down the hall. "You were saying?" Todd raised an eyebrow. "Come on, Summers needs our help!"
They raced down the hall. "I knew I shouldn't have left him alone!" Todd snapped.
"Oh come on what could they…?" Kurt gasped as the door was opened. "Do?" He couldn't believe all the lab equipment in the girl's room. And it was all painted pink. The girls were standing around a lab table. Scott was strapped down on it. His hair was tied in little ponytails with ribbons. He had a gag on his mouth and his pants were down to his ankles.
"Nice shorts Summers," Todd quipped.
"MMMFFFF!" Scott tried to shout through the gag.
"What are you doing?" Kurt shouted.
"We had to keep him quiet," Brittany said. "We're practicing electrolysis. We are gonna remove some of those unsightly hairs from his bikini line."
"Some people are such babies," Daria said. "A little electric shock and they fall to pieces."
"It's such fun meeting new people," Quinn said. "And it's even more fun to see what we can do to them."
"He's also going to help us with our experiment with tarantulas," Daria said.
"Can we keep you as a pet?" Quinn asked Kurt sweetly.
"Okay back off!" Todd told them. "I've got slime and I'm not afraid to use it! Step away from the X-Geek and nobody gets it!"
The girls glared at him. "You wouldn't!" Quinn snapped.
"He would," Daria said.
"Remember last time how I gunked up some of your toys here?" Todd sneered pointing to the computer. "Want a repeat of that incident? Back off!"
The girls looked at each other and stepped away from Scott. Quickly Kurt untied him from the table.
"What happened?" Kurt asked.
"They attacked me!" Scott gasped. "The next thing I knew I was tied up!"
"I warned you!" Todd said. "Okay Kurt port us out of here! Now!"
"Got it!" Kurt grabbed them and they ended up in the back yard.
Scott pulled up his pants. "I couldn't believe how fast they were! Those kids are totally out of control!"
A series of short screams got their attention. Actually it was more like a round of battle cries. To their surprise the three girls shot out of the upstairs window, grabbed onto a nearby tree and expertly back flipped themselves to the ground. They stood before them with water guns and whipped cream in their hands.
"Uh… I didn't mention that they were also trained ninjas did I?" Todd gulped.
"No you did not," Scott said as they backed away.
"Lock and load!" Brittany shouted. "Fire!"
Kurt teleported away with the others. They ended up in the kitchen. As Scott locked the door on them, Todd grabbed some cans of whipped cream. "Okay I got some ammo yo!"
"I have a feeling that isn't gonna hold them!" Scott said.
"We've got no chance if we stay inside here!" Todd said. "Our best chance is outside in the open!"
"They're inside the house!" Kurt exclaimed as he heard noises from upstairs.
"They've probably got one outside waiting for us to be smoked out!" Scott said. "Okay, Kurt you teleport outside. Then we split up and try to outflank her. I'll take the right and Toad you take the left. Kurt you take to the trees! Ready! Go!"
They went according to plan. Unfortunately for Scott, Brittany had figured out this maneuver and he got soaked. "Here they are!" She shouted. "AAAHH!" She screamed when Kurt doused her with whipped cream.
"HA!" Kurt crowed.
"Nightcrawler behind you!" Todd shouted.
Kurt teleported just in time, missing Daria's whipped cream assault. "Ha! Missed me! Niener! Niener! Niener!" He stuck out his tongue.
And was hit in the back with whipped cream.
"Gotcha!" Quinn laughed. "HEY THAT'S COLD!" She screamed when Todd and Scott turned the hose on her.
"Payback is so sweet!" Scott laughed insanely.
"BANZAI!" Daria and Brittany ganged up on them. Soon they were all soaking wet and covered with whipped cream. They battled each other ferociously. Claudius was having a ball running around, licking whipped cream off everything. Then he ran into a pair of legs and let out a yelp.
Everyone stopped what they were doing and saw Ororo standing there. "What is going on here?"
"They started it!" Kurt pointed at the triplets.
"What happened to your hair?" Ororo looked at Scott.
"You don't want to know," Scott groaned. "But it was their fault!" He pointed to the triplets.
"Hi lady!" Brittany smiled. "I like your hair!" Immediately the triplets went into cute mode.
"What are you doing here?" Todd asked as he wiped some whipped cream off his sleeve.
"The others will be here as well for a barbecue Roadblock and their father are putting on," Ororo explained. "Except for Logan. Something about a pool game he and General Hawk had to finish."
"And this here is the living room where we do our living," Althea's voice came from the house. She walked outside with the rest of the X-Men. "That's the kitchen where we do our kitchening! And here…Hey! Have you girls been playing 'Mad Scientist' again?"
"Maybe," Daria answered sweetly.
"And over here are my psychotic siblings," Althea motioned. "Brittany, Daria and Quinn, the terrible trio. Be careful, they have this bad habit of experimenting on strangers. "
"Now she warns us," Scott grumbled.
"Gah!" Claudius laughed.
"And my baby bro Claudius," She picked him up. "Warning, no 'Flipper' remarks! Got it?"
"He's so cute!" Kitty cooed.
"Watch out for his right hook," Kurt grumbled. "Trust me on this."
"Hi lady," Daria said to Ororo sweetly. "You're very pretty."
"Well aren't you adorable," Ororo smiled.
"They're insane is what they are!" Scott snapped.
"Oh come on Scott," Jean tickled Claudius' chin. "They look so sweet!"
"Looks are deceiving," Althea said. "These little maniacs are terrors!"
"No we're not," Brittany blinked.
"Man a whole family full of mutants," Evan said. "What's with all the water and whipped cream?"
"It was self defense!" Scott shouted.
"I believe you," Althea told them. "I've had to turn the hose on them myself a couple of times."
"Well it looks like you've started the party before it even began," Ororo said.
"Hey I remember you!" Althea looked at Ororo. "From the soccer game. You were the lady my dad was hitting on."
"Your…" Ororo blanched. "Oh no!"
"Well what do my eyes see?" Shipwreck leaned out the door. "An angel has fallen from heaven into my back yard!"
"This is just perfect," Ororo rolled her eyes.
"Not as perfect as you my sweet," Shipwreck smiled. Then he looked around. Then he saw Scott. "Let me guess, the triplets? What did they do? Tie you up and threaten to give you a makeover? Or was it electric shocks?"
"Electric shocks," Scott groaned.
"Oh god," Shipwreck sighed. He then smiled and took Ororo's hand. "See that's why we need a lady around the house!"
"What you need is a brain transplant if you think she's gonna fall for that line!" Althea told him.
"That's her father?" Xavier looked at Roadblock. They had just come in.
"Oh yeah," He sighed. "That's our Shipwreck."
"Well now that every one has met," Shipwreck said. "Let's get cooking!" He raised his eyes suggestively at Ororo. "And maybe we'll get cooking later."
"Actually Charles I think I'll fly back to the mansion and help Hank collect the other students," Ororo moved swiftly away from Shipwreck.
"But if you leave now you'll be flying all night!" Falcon said.
"That's fine with me!" Ororo left in a hurry.
