Another Memorable Meal

"Now let's see what we have for fixin's," Shipwreck looked over everything. "Hot dogs, burgers, all kinds of the sausage varieties…I think we're all set."

"Plus we have salad," Roadblock was fixing stuff up in the kitchen. "Some vegetarian casseroles as well as potato salad, beans, potato chips, and all that other fatty junk kids like."

"That's enough for an army," Xavier marveled at the huge pile of meats.

"Yeah well we figured the kids worked up an appetite," Shipwreck said. "Where's Falcon and Jinx? Aren't they gonna help us cook?"

"Nah they're playing tag football with the others," Althea came in carrying Claudius. "I just came in to drop off the rug rat here in his play pen."

"Why don't you take it outside?" Roadblock suggested. "That way he won't be left out of the fun."

"Good idea," Althea said.

"All right let's get this party started! Break out the beers!" Shipwreck yanked them out of the refrigerator. Althea gave him a look. "What? These are for the adults and I am only going to have one! Got it? One! I'm not gonna get drunk!"

"I've heard that before!" Althea snapped.

"Now when have I ever gotten drunk around you kids and don't say your last birthday because you know damn well that was an exception!" Shipwreck snapped. "It was Ace that spiked the punch!"

"Well just stay within your limit!" Althea told him. "You're nuts enough sober!"

"Yes mother," Shipwreck warbled in a funny voice.

"I mean it mister!" She went to get the playpen. "I'll be watching you!"

"They have an unusual relationship," Xavier commented to Roadblock.

"That's one way of putting it," Roadblock said.

"Hey Charley," Shipwreck called out. "You want a cold one?"

"Um, no," Xavier refused politely. "Thank you but I don't drink."

"Hey that's okay!" Shipwreck tossed him a soda. "Good for you! Leaves more beer for the rest of us!"

"AWK!" Polly flew in. "Polly wants a beer!" He landed on Xavier's head. "Who's the bald guy?"

"Oh that's Polly my living feather duster," Shipwreck said. "Don't give him any beer! It doesn't mix well with his medication."

Todd came in. "Hey yo, Althea come on! We need you!"

"I'm coming!" Althea called out. "Hey I need a hand in here!"

Shipwreck started clapping. "Very funny!" Althea shouted.

"I'll help," Todd went in. He came back out lugging a playpen and some toys. "Geeze do you think you have enough stuff for the kid?"

"Just set it up outside!" Althea called out. "Claudie come back here!"

Todd took it outside. "Um could you please get off my head?" Xavier asked Polly.

"But I like it up here," Polly said.

"Off bird!" Althea came in carrying Claudius with one hand and swatting Polly with the other. "Sorry about that. He's too nosy for his own good."

"Daddy!" Quinn came in. "Where's the first aid kit?"

"Which one?" Shipwreck asked. "The regular or the third degree burn one?"

"Regular," Quinn told him. "Bobby and Evan had a little collision on the playing field."

"Under the sink," Althea said. "Here," She handed her Claudius as well. "Take him and put him in the playpen outside too."

As Quinn left with the baby and the first aid kit Todd walked in. "All set up," Todd told her. "You coming?"

"In a minute," She told him.

"Can I help?" Todd asked Roadblock watching him cook.

"No you go out and play," Roadblock said.

Todd inched his hand over to a jar filled with some kind of chocolate objects. "Don't even think about taking a bite!" Roadblock scolded. "You'll spoil your appetite!"

"Aww," Todd pouted. "But they're my favorite! Pleeeeese?"

"Oh all right just one," Roadblock relented. "But that's all! Now go and let me get some work done!"

"Yes!" Todd grabbed one and ran out the door.

"Ah I can't blame the kid," Roadblock took one and chuckled as he ate it. "These are my favorite snacks too! You want one Professor?"

"Why not?" Xavier ate one.

"Yeah I brought in some of my homemade stuff for the kids as well," Roadblock said.

"These are good," Xavier munched on the confections. "What are these?"

"Chocolate covered grasshoppers," Roadblock took another bite. "It's the legs that really make them crunchy."

Xavier's eyes bulged. "Shipwreck," He called out. "I changed my mind. I think I will have that beer."

"Sure thing," Shipwreck gave him a can. Althea came in and saw this.

"Hey Martha Stewart," She quipped. "Don't you know a classy guy like the Professor don't drink from the can? Not everyone's as uncivilized as you ya know!"

"Aw sorry," Shipwreck handed Xavier a paper cup and poured the beer into it. "Better?"

"Much," Althea told him. "Hey do you remember where we buried that dynamite in the back yard? Rahnee's digging up holes and I don't want the triplets to find it or Jubilee to accidentally…."

BOOOM!

"Set it off," Althea groaned. "Never mind. I'll get the first aid kit," She grabbed it and looked outside. "Oh never mind, false alarm. It wasn't the dynamite after all. It's just Falcon setting up the barbecue. He put too much lighter fluid on it again."

"Wait you have dynamite in the back yard?" Xavier asked.

"Well we had to bury it or the twins would get at it," Shipwreck told him. "They made it themselves behind my back so we had to confiscate it! Which reminds me, why don't you go out and watch your sisters. Make sure they aren't trying to find it again."

"They're not," She said. "They're practicing first aid on Bobby. He looks like a mummy. I'd better rescue him. WILL YOU LUNATICS KNOCK IT OFF?" She ran outside.

"Are they always this…loud?" Xavier winced.

"Actually for them this is pretty quiet," Roadblock said. "Usually they make a riot."

"Oh," Xavier looked at the table. Polly had stuck his head into Xavier's cup and was slurping down his beer.

"POLLY!" Shipwreck shouted. He grabbed the bird. "Bad parrot! I'm sorry Charley. I'll get you another beer."

"Oh no that's all right," Xavier said. "I'm all set thank you." He decided to attempt to make conversation. "So you raise five children by yourself?"

"Ever since their mother took off," Shipwreck told him, slathering some kind of barbecue sauce on the meats. "It's not easy raising five hyperactive kids. Well you should know where I'm coming from since you have a handful yourself. I tell you I thought I had done it all. From fighting smugglers in Cuba and pirates in the Mekong Delta, to the Cobras in the Himalayan Mountains and the battles I fought in the Middle East, I've seen more than enough combat to toughen me up. But compared to parenthood, all of that is child's play!"

"So their mother was a mutant as well?" Xavier asked. Too late he saw Roadblock signal him to shut up.

"Oh yeah," Shipwreck's tone darkened. "She volunteered as a guinea pig to Cobra and they screwed around with her DNA. I save her life, give her a home and a family and how does she repay me? By running off to live a life of luxury under the sea with that no good…"

"BARBECUE TIME!" Roadblock shouted as he grabbed Shipwreck and steered him away outside. He handed him the meat platter. "Go put this on the grill! I just gotta finish up!"

"Sore subject?" Xavier said.

"Yeah," Roadblock said. "What really gets him though is how she just abandoned her girls and her newborn son. Running out on him is one thing, running out on the kids is another!"

"Okay that's good to know what not to talk about," Xavier sighed.

BOOM!

Roadblock looked outside. "What somebody should talk about to him is a lecture on fire safety and how not to barbecue!"

************************************************************************

"NOW HEAR THIS! DINNERTIME!" Shipwreck shouted, clanging a triangle.

"Oh my muscles," Remy groaned. "That was the most savage game of touch football ever! Remind me never to play against the girls again!"

"Oh let's just relax and enjoy our meal," Scott sighed. He had a Band-Aid on his chin. "At least we get to eat something good."

"Why not?" Kurt sighed as he started to eat. "Some day! I find out my friends have been keeping secrets from me, Rogue's my sister, had to clean up after the Brotherhood's mess, got KP duty, forced to endure a two hour flight with the Toad, and I'm attacked by his girlfriend's insane siblings. This day cannot get any worse!"

"Day ain't over yet," Todd muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" Kurt glared.

"I said this is the best burger yet," Todd covered. "Geeze not everything is about you Fuzzy!"

"Yeah this food's not bad," Kitty munched on her vegetarian platter.

"It should be," Todd told her. "Roadblock's a gourmet chef."

"Well at least we can all have a nice relaxing meal," Xavier sighed.

"GERONIMO!" Polly screeched as he flew wildly over their heads.

"Oh great, we're being dive bombed by a drunken parrot," Jean grumbled.

"Well as long as he doesn't use us for target practice don't worry about it," Althea said. "He'll tire himself out eventually."

"Attention everyone!" Shipwreck called out. "LISTEN UP! THE PROFESSOR WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!" He turned to Xavier. "Go ahead Charley."

"Uh, thank you," Xavier sighed. "Students, it's going to be a challenging two weeks but I think we can all make it if we learn to work together as a team. That includes working with Toad and Wavedancer."

"I agree," Falcon said. "It's time we all put our pasts behind us."

"Some pasts are harder to forget than others," Rogue grumbled.

"Well in the spirit of the occasion," Todd looked at them. "I guess I can forgive you guys!"

"What?" Scott snapped.

"You forgive us?" Evan shouted.

"Yeah well it's the least I can do," Todd said.

"You have a lot of nerve!" Kitty snapped. "After all the things you and the Brotherhood put us through!"

"Hey!" Todd snapped. "I'm an Ex-Brotherhood member! And you didn't seem to mind forgiving Gumbo over here and Roguey so why not cut me some slack?"

"Well you're not exactly in the same class as they are," Jean grumbled.

Althea looked at Jean. "What exactly is that supposed to mean?"

Jean waved it off. "Never mind, forget it."

"No," Althea said. "I wanna know what you meant by that crack!"

"That's not important," Scott said.

"Shut up Shades," Althea snapped. "I'm asking her a question and I'm waiting for an answer!"

"I think you know what I mean," Jean glared at Althea.

"No I don't," Althea said glaring back. "Why don't you enlighten me?"

"Awk! The Princess over here thinks you're lower than dirt!" Polly flew around.

"I wouldn't say that!" Jean snapped.

"No but you think it!" Todd snapped.

"Uh you know these burgers are great!" Falcon interrupted. "Aren't they great, Jinx?"

"Yeah they are great!" She spoke up quickly. "Kids aren't these burgers great!"

None of the students were paying attention. "You know Toad told me all about you," Althea said coldly. "And how you treated him."

"Awk! Toad the Target! Awk!" Polly buzzed over their heads some more.

"Well I wouldn't put too much stock in anything Toad says if I were you!" Jean said.

"And why is that?" Althea's voice rose dangerously.

"Liar! Liar! Pants on fire! You're hanging from a telephone wire!" Polly cackled.

"COULD SOMEBODY PLEASE SHUT THAT BIRD UP?" Jean shouted.

"Actually the bird has a point," Althea growled. "Are you calling Toad a liar?"

"Fight! Fight!" The triplets chanted.

"Nobody is going to fight!" Xavier said.

"That's what you think," Daria told him.

Jean turned around at her. "Do you want the truth?"

"No I want you to lie to me. Of course I want the truth!" Althea snapped.

"Jean…" Xavier gulped.

"Oh god," Shipwreck groaned.

"This is not gonna be pretty," Roadblock gulped.

"Falcon better call for backup," Jinx groaned.

"Well come on Red!" Althea snapped. "Spill it!"

"Toad is not only a liar, he's a thieving little troublemaker who lives to annoy people! He's nothing but a bad influence!" Jean snapped. "He's a lying little creep."

Althea took a deep breath before saying, "That lying little creep, just happens to be MY BOYFRIEND YOU WITCH!" She slugged Jean right in the eye.

"FIGHT!" Brittany whooped.

Althea went to slug Jean again when Scott grabbed her. "That's enough!" He shouted.

"It's enough when I say it's enough!" Althea threw him over her shoulder. Then she went back to tackling Jean.

"Chill out!" Bobby tried to use an ice beam to stop her, but was tackled by Daria.

"Hang on sis!" Quinn shouted as she quickly punched out Jubilee. "We got your back!" Then she tackled Remy.

Rahnee changed into wolf form only to be tackled by Brittany. "DOGGY!" She shouted happily.

"Cut that…OWWWWW!" Kurt yelped as Claudius bit onto his tail and hung on.

"Get off me you little twit!" Rahnee changed back to her human form and tried to wrestle Brittany off her, without any success.

Soon nearly all the X-Men were brawling with Althea and her sisters. Kurt was trying to pry Claudius off his tail. Falcon and Jinx tried to break up the fight only to get knocked out accidentally by the X-Men. "Aren't you going to do something?" Xavier asked Roadblock.

"Uh…you don't know Althea like I do," Roadblock told him. "She's like dynamite, light her fuse and boy does she fight!"

"Toad are you going to do something?" Rogue asked, wisely deciding not to get involved.

"Eventually," Todd grinned. "Right now I'm enjoying the show!"

"Will you put a stop to this?" Xavier shouted at Shipwreck.

"Oh let them fight," Shipwreck waved. "It's good for them. They need the exercise." He took a swig of beer and watched the action. "DARIA! NOW THAT WASN'T NICE WHAT YOU DID TO EVAN! YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KICK BELOW THE BELT!"

Jean used her telekinesis to shove Althea away. As she did, Polly dive bombed her and grabbed her hair. "Red Rover, Red Rover let Polly come over!" The bird squawked as it yanked on her hair.

"Stop it!" Jean screamed, forgetting her concentration and ignoring Althea. "Stop it! Get it out of my hair! Get it out!"

"I'd help but I kind of have problems of my own!" Kurt yelped. "Claudius let go of me!"

"Thanks Polly!" Althea slugged Jean again.

"Oh no you don't!" Jubilee shouted.

Jubilee threw her fireworks at Althea who dodged them easily. Instead they hit a rosebush behind her. "Uh oh," Shipwreck blanched. "I just remembered where we buried the dynamite!"

The rosebush started to sparkle and burst into flames. "This is not good!" Kitty gulped.

"I got it Pop!" Althea used her powers to make the water from the pool rise into a huge tidal wave. It washed out the flames as well as the X-Men.

"What have I gotten us into?" Xavier put his head into his hands.