Why couldn't Jean get in touch with Xavier? One word: Shipwreck.
Back on the Mainland…
"Great now where did those idiots go?" Mystique grumbled. She had changed shape to a blonde woman in a fashionable outfit. She had prowled around the town where the boys had taken off too. It was some kind of seaside place, full of tourists and sailors. She looked and saw there was a bar nearby. "They wouldn't be in there? Would they? Probably."
She walked into the bar. It looked like every other bar she had ever been in. There was some raucous singing going on. She didn't pay attention to it at first. "When I get my hands on those brats!" Mystique muttered. She decided a drink was in order and ordered a Manhattan from the bar.
"Wasted away again in Margaritaville!" Some very familiar voices sang out. But it wasn't her boys. She looked over her shoulder and saw a sight she'd never thought she'd ever see.
There was Xavier himself in a Hawaiian flowered shirt, wearing a straw hat, singing his lungs out. Sitting next to him was a bearded sailor and on the table was Storm dancing wildly. They were all obviously plastered. "Xavier drunk," She blinked. "Now I've seen everything."
"Another round of whatever it was we're drinking!" The sailor shouted out. "We're celebrating!"
"To freedom!" Xavier raised his glass.
"To independence!" Shipwreck raised his glass.
"To no kids!" Storm laughed as she fell off the table.
"I just realized something," Xavier said.
"What Charley?" Shipwreck asked.
"I'm drunk aren't I?" Xavier moaned.
"Yup!" Shipwreck smirked.
"How did you do this?" Xavier groaned. "I mean I almost never drink! How did you convince Storm and myself to get drunk?"
"It's a gift!" Shipwreck cheered. "Hey look! Storm's snockered! Hey that rhymes!"
"Storm's snockered," Xavier said. "Storm's smockered, Storm's slockered…I can't say it."
"Keep practicing," Shipwreck looked down. "Storm, you okay babe?"
"I've fallen," She giggled "And I can't get up!"
Mystique moved a discreet distance from the bar. "Sir," Mystique spoke into her communicator. "I found something. You are not going to believe this…"
"Oh looky here," Xavier looked at his glass. "I'm out…"
"Well get another one," Shipwreck told him. "Yo! Barkeep! Another round for my buddy over here!"
The bartender walked over. "Don't worry," Xavier told him. "None of us are driving."
"Well you are technically," Shipwreck pointed to his wheelchair. "Don't worry buddy I won't let you drive! I'll take you around the world!" He took the chair and they started rolling all over the bar. "Vroom! Vroom!"
"Wheeee!" Xavier laughed. Shipwreck let go of the handles and he rolled into a wall. "Crash!" He laughed. "Whiplash! I've got whiplash!"
Shipwreck laughed and slumped at the bar. "Call an attorney!" He giggled hysterically.
Mystique slid next to Shipwreck at the bar. Her orders were to watch them and find out what was going on.
"Hi there," She smiled. "You're cute."
"Hello dollface!" Shipwreck smiled. "Wanna drink? Me and my buddies here are celebrating! To freedom!"
"Freedom!" Ororo laughed as she came over. "Freedom from the kids!"
"Tell me all about it," Mystique smiled as Shipwreck got her a drink. Of course she never intended to get drunk.
Twenty minutes later she was. They were laughing and joking like they were old friends. All three of them were making up a song. They were singing to the tune of 'What Do You Do with a Drunken Sailor?'
What do you do with a drunken Xavier?
Don't let him drive the X-Jet!
Or you'll end up on the side of a mountain!
Early in the morning!
Put the brakes on his wheelchair!
Give him a wig 'til he grows some real hair!
Don't let him run around in his underwear!
Early in the morning!
Whey hey! The glare from his head made me blind!
Whey hey! He's got a big behind!
Whey hey! He wiped is own mind!
Totally without warning!
Xavier was not aware of this little ditty. He was busy with his own little project.
"You know you should tell your wife you love her and stop running around with that secretary of yours," Xavier was counseling the drunks at another table.
"I do love her!" The man bawled.
"And you should just get up the courage to tell your girl you love her," Xavier told another drunk.
"Wow!" The other drunk said. "It's like you can read my mind or something."
"Well yeah," Xavier had another drink.
"So let me get this straight," Mystique asked. "You have five…count them…five kids and your wife just up and left you alone with them for another guy? You poor baby!"
"You have no idea what it's like to look after five insane rambunctious kids!" Shipwreck moaned.
"Wanna bet?" Mystique moaned.
"Oh hello Mystique," Xavier said rolling up to them.
"Mystique?" Ororo blinked.
"Yeah that's Mystique in disguise," Xavier blinked. "I guess she's here to spy on us."
"Uh oh," Mystique blinked as Ororo got angry. "This is not good!"
"YOU!" Ororo screamed, her powers getting out of control with her temper. Huge winds suddenly blew through the bar.
Mystique changed shape back to her original form. "Sheesh Larry," One of the drunks at the bar called out. "Turn down the air! People are turning blue in here!"
"Batten down the masts!" Shipwreck held onto the bar for dear life. "She's blowing up a storm!"
Mystique blew into some drunks. "Hey! Get off me you freak!" He shouted.
Mystique punched him. Storm punched Mystique. A couple of goons attacked her but Shipwreck punched them out. Soon a full-scale brawl was in place. Xavier even fought by punching someone in the stomach. Mystique shapeshifted into a cop just as the real police arrived.
Not long after back at the base. "Still can't find them?" Logan asked Hawk.
"No," Hawk nodded. "And we can't find Shipwreck, Xavier or Storm either."
"I believe I just found them," Roadblock handed Hawk a cell phone.
"Hello?" Hawk said.
"Uh we're in jail," Shipwreck said. "Could you come and bail me and my pal Charley out? And Storm too?"
************************************************************************
"My head," Xavier groaned. "I haven't had a hangover like that since I was in college." They were all recovering back at the base.
"I don't feel so good," Storm moaned.
"This won't make you feel any better," Logan told them. "The kids never arrived at the island yesterday. They're missing."
"Why didn't you tell us this before?" Shipwreck yelped.
"Because you were out getting hammered and then you were thrown in the slammer Barnacle Brain!" Roadblock shouted.
"Mystique was in the bar," Xavier frowned.
"The Brotherhood?" Logan asked.
"Most definitely," Xavier told him. "Wherever they are, I hope our students are all right."
