*** The song is "Ana's Song (Open Fire)" by Silverchair. ***

// Please die Ana

For as long as you're here we're not //

"Should you really be eating that?" he asked. He looked down at the greasy piece of pizza in my hand and wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"It's good," I said, smiling up at him.

"Well, we'll see how good you think it is when your hips inflate," he said, turning away from me.

"It's just a piece of pizza sweetie," I said, setting it down and wiping my hands on a napkin. I got up and walked after him. "It's not like I'm gorging myself."

"Well, you have been putting on a little weight," he said, turning back around and looking pointedly at my hips and stomach.

I blushed deeply with embarrassment. "Hey," I whispered. "That's not something you need to point out."

"Can you deny it?" he asked.

// You make the sound of laughter

and sharpened nails seem softer //

I left the room we were sharing and walked down the hall to Lillian's room. We had become friends during the whole Alliance thing. Kurt had made all of the WWF Divas pair up and make sure that they were safe at all times. He had taken it upon himself to pair us up. I had ended up with Lillian.

It was probably the smartest thing Kurt had ever done. Of course it all hit the fan when Jackie's buddy, Molly, defected.

"What's wrong sweetie?" Lillian asked as she opened her door.

"He, he called me fat," I blurted out.

An outraged look crossed her face and I instantly regretted what I had said. "I mean, he's right. I have been putting on some weight."

"You look healthy," Lillian insisted.

"That's just a nice way of saying I've put on weight," I said.

"No it isn't," Lillian said, putting her hands on her hips. "You want me to get a cot up here tonight?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I'll go back."

// And I need you now somehow

And I need you now somehow //

"Hey," I whispered to him when I crawled into bed next to him later that night.

"I was wondering if you would come back," he said, turning towards me.

"I would have called if I was going to stay at Lillian's," I said.

"Lillian?" he asked with amusement in his eyes.

"Get your mind out of the gutter," I said playfully, stretching out next to him. "I'm the only one who gets your strudel."

"Sounds like a plan to me," he said, cocking that eyebrow at me. "But was that jealousy there?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "Well, maybe a little."

"You don't need to worry," he said, kissing me deeply.

"I love you Rocky," I sighed in utter contentment.

// Open fire on the needs designed

On my knees for you //

"You want a cookie?" Lita asked me.

"No thanks," I said, shaking my head. "I'm full."

"You've only had water all day," Lita said.

"And it's been a lot of water," I said. "I'm just not hungry."

"Well, promise to eat before your match tonight," Lita said.

"Okay," I said, looking down at my feet.

"I've got to go talk to Vince," Lita said. "I've got to tell him about me and Matt."

"I'm sorry Lita," I said, knowing the end of her relationship with Matt had hit her hard, no matter how strong she was acting.

"Hey," Lita said, shaking her head sadly. "Shit happens, right?"

// Open fire on my knees desires

What I need from you //

"Hey gorgeous," he said, enveloping me with an embrace from behind. I leaned into him, loving the solid feel of him.

"Hey yourself," I said.

"Did you hear what Vince changed your match to tonight?" he asked, a note of amusement in his voice."

"No," I said, feeling very suspicious.

"Bra-and-panties," he said.

"Damn him!" I exclaimed. "I'm so sick of these bull-shit matches! I've worked so damn hard to become a legitimate wrestler and he sticks me in these degrading matches!"

"Sweetie," he said, putting a hand on my arm to restrain me. "It's what the people want. Don't get mad because you don't want all of your flab hanging out there."

// Imagine a pageant

In my head the flesh seems thicker //

"What?" I asked him, feeling horror at the implication of his statement.

"You heard me," he said. "You've become lazy. You've gained weight. Don't you work out while I'm off filming movies?"

"You bastard," I said through tears. "I work just as hard as you."

"Doubtful," he said.

"Why do you have to do that?" I asked, feeling hurt and confused. "Why do you always have to tear me down?"

"I'm not tearing you down sweetie," he said patiently, like he was my teacher. "I'm just pointing out areas that need improvement. I love you, so I want you to be your best."

"You love me?" I asked doubtfully.

"How can you doubt it?" he asked.

// Sandpaper tears corrode the filth //

"I don't know," I said, shaking my head. Tears were still streaming down my cheeks. "But no girl wants to hear her boyfriend call her fat."

"I'm just honest," he shrugged. "I mean, can you honestly say you're in the best shape you've ever been in?"

"I don't know," I shrugged.

"I would hope you would act the same way with me," he said. "I mean, I've had lypo before."

"You have?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said. "In this business you've got to look perfect."

"I just want to me," I said, tears coursing down my cheeks.

"Why can't that you be skinny?" he asked.

// And I need you now somehow

And I need you now somehow //

I wish I didn't love him so much. I wish that I could hate him for all of the snide comments he makes about how much I weigh, the clothes I wear, how I do my hair. But I do love him. I wouldn't stay with him if I didn't.

And he loves me too. He says he does. I mean, he's wonderful most of the time. And he's so amazing. I mean, he's The Rock. Sometimes I pinch myself when it becomes hard to believe that he loves me.

I know he's right too. I could watch what I eat a little better. I could work out a little more. It wouldn't take all that much. And I could only be the better for it. He really is just watching out for me.

So I'll do what it takes to make him happy.

// Open fire on the needs designed

On my knees for you //

"Hey Trish," a voice with a lilting accent said from behind me.

"Jeff!" I said happily, turning around to see my friend.

"How are you doing?" he asked, getting a sandwich from the table behind me.

"I'm good," I said, twisting the cap off of my water bottle and taking a swig. "How about you?"

"I'm okay," he nodded. "You getting anything to eat?"

"Nah," I said. "But I'll sit with you while you eat."

"Okay," he said.

We talked for awhile. We had been on the verge of going out for like a snap in the time continuum. Then there was Rocky. He saved me from being humiliated at the hands of Vince, we went out on a couple of dates, and the rest is history.

I stood up from the table and I swayed dizzily.

"Trish!" Jeff exclaimed, darting from his own seat to catch me before I fell to the ground.

// Open fire on my knees desires

What I need from you //

"You okay?" Jeff asked, as he held me against his chest.

"Yeah," I said, pushing away from him lightly.

"Why don't you sit down for a second," Jeff said, pushing me back toward my seat.

"I'm fine Jeff," I said, even as I felt beads of sweat break out on my forehead. "Really."

"Let me be concerned okay?" Jeff asked.

"Fine," I said, resting against the back of the chair.

"What have you eaten today?" he asked.

"I ate…breakfast," I said. "It was big."

"Okay," Jeff said, not sounding entirely sure.

"I probably just stood up too fast and got lightheaded," I said.

"If you say so," he said. "Let me walk you back to your dressing room."

// And you're my obsession

I love you to the bones //

"How's Rocky doing?" Jeff asked softly as we walked down the hallway.

"He's wonderful," I said, sounding sickeningly sweet even to myself.

"Great," Jeff said. "You deserve wonderful."

I looked over at him in shock. He was looking forward, no emotion discernable on his face. "Thanks," I said softly. I then looked down at my feet.

Suddenly, Jeff stopped walking.

"What?" I asked. I looked at him to see his vision transfixed by something.

"Did you say wonderful?" Jeff asked.

My head whipped to where Jeff was looking. My mouth opened as I watch Torrie Wilson lean against the wall, a man bracing himself with his hands on the wall on either side of her. Standing a foot away from her.

Torrie laughed hysterically and I went crazy.

// And Ana wrecks your life

Like an Anorexia life //

"Trish!" I vaguely heard Jeff exclaim behind me.

Rocky turned at the sound of Jeff calling toward me. I was bearing down on them quickly.

"Hey baby," he said smoothly. "How are you doing?"

"How can you pretending you weren't just standing awfully close to Torrie?" I asked, fury laced on my voice. "Did you ask her if she likes strudel?"

"Jesus Trish!" he exclaimed. "I was just talking to her. About diet tips for you actually."

I probably turned purple with rage. "You are a fucking bastard!"

"Better than being a fat cow!" he called after me.

"She's not fat!" Jeff exclaimed.

"She's a cow," Rocky snorted. "Don't come crawling back to me you fat bitch!"

I just kept walking down the hall, tears streaming down my face.

// Open fire on the needs designed

On my knees for you //

I walked back to my lockerroom and promptly found myself on my knees next to the toilet. I felt a cool rag on the back of my neck. I jumped in shock and turned to see Jeff standing there.

"You aren't fat," Jeff said, trying to assure me.

"Sure," I said.

"You aren't," he said.

"I love him," I said to Jeff. "And he loves me. He wouldn't say that stuff if it wasn't true."

"He says it to keep you down Trish," Jeff said. "To keep you from realizing what a prick he is."

"He's not always like that Jeff," I said.

"Yeah, he is," Jeff said.

"Jeff," I said, feeling suddenly woozy. "I don't feel so good."

// Open fire on my knees desires

What I need from you //

"Lets go," Jeff said, pulling me to my feet and half-carrying me from the dressing room.

"Where are we going?" I asked him, suddenly feeling very hazy.

"To the trainer," Jeff said. "And then to the hospital."

"I don't need to go to the hospital," I said.

"Yeah, I think you probably do," he said. "I think you've probably been starving yourself to stay skinny."

"Stay skinny?" I snorted. "I'm fat Jeff."

"You aren't fat," Jeff said.

"Whatever," I said.

// Open fire on the needs designed

Open fire on my knees desires //

"You can go home Jeff," I said to him. He was sitting in a plastic chair. I was lying in a hospital bed. The trainer had insisted that I go.

"No," Jeff said resolutely.

"Really Jeff," I said. "The doctor even said I wasn't that far gone."

"What the doctor said is that you've been eating at sub-par levels for an indeterminable amount of time," Jeff said. "And I'm going to be right next to you while you get better."

"That's not your job," I said.

"No," Jeff said. "But Rocky doesn't seem to understand the job description of boyfriend so well."

I couldn't help that I started sobbing, wondering if it was really my love for The Rock that landed me in the hospital.

// On my knees for you //