By Stew Pid
Rating: Should be okay.
Disclaimer: I only own the Stew Pid stuff.
A/N: Okay. I'm experimenting with different forms of fic and this was a new idea I had. It's not really my style so I don't know if I pulled it off, but I hope you like it.
It is a lovely Spring evening in Stars Hollow, as Lorelai and Rory walk to the town meeting. Stars Hollow is bustling with upcoming activities. Signs mark numerous Spring festivities and the upcoming Commencement Ceremonies.
"Don't you just love the Spring, and hate it at the same time?" Lorelai muses. "I mean, it's a time of new beginnings and all, but that means everything changes."
"Change can be good, though, once you get used to it."
"Yeah, well that means it's good for you. This year you've had to get used to change. The only change I've known thus far is when your grandmother changes the flowers or when Sookie changes the menus. And come to think of it, that's not really a change because Sookie is always changing the menu so it's just the usual to me. Now I'm being hit with this big change. I mean, you're graduating, going off to college, which is great, don't get me wrong, but…"
"But I'm going to Yale so I can always drop by. I can visit on a Wednesday even if I have a Thursday morning class. It won't be that bad. I'll visit so much you won't even know I was gone."
"But whose bed will I sneak to when the termites come back?"
"You can still come to mine. You just have to drive to it."
"I'm going to miss you."
"You won't know I'm gone."
"You're right. I'll get a hologram of you, or maybe a mannequin that looks like you. Oh, and maybe it could happen like in the movie and the mannequin becomes human. It'd be a Rory clone. But in case that doesn't happen, we'll have to start recording things you usually say on tapes."
"You're impossible."
"Yeah, that's one of them. We'll have to get that on tape."
Lorelai and Rory are about to enter for the meeting. Rory sees Dean as she enters, and both smile awkwardly and look the other way. The only seats left are next to Dean's new girlfriend and Luke, who looks particularly cold and hostile.
"So do we want the eighth circle of hell or the ninth," Lorelai whispers to Rory.
Taylor stops in the middle of his speech to address the Gilmores.
"Since you two are physically unable to make it here on time, you can at least have the courtesy to come in quietly and immediately sit down."
"Right," Lorelai replies and sits immediately next to Luke.
"Okay," Taylor resumes, "so since the majority of people (shooting a resolute stare at Luke) voted 'ay,' we're going through with it."
"Hold up," Lorelai says, raising her hand. "We didn't get to vote. What are we voting on? (whispers to Rory, smiling goofily) We could be the ones to turn this election over. Don't you feel powerful?"
"Well, your vote won't matter much, (Lorelai and Rory pout, then look at each other and shrug) but it's only fair. Anyway, I'm sure the two of you would be very enthused to hear that it has recently been discovered that some of the finest patriots of the American Revolution are buried here in Stars Hollow."
"Really? That's so cool. Stars Hollow is historic," Rory beams.
"I knew that would interest you, Rory. See, a journal of one of the Revolution's soldiers was found where he states that his comrades' bodies had to be dumped into the lake and he mourns the fact that they were denied a hero's burial. Now, the Historical Institute of Connecticut informed me of this and they would like to build a monument for these heroes right here in Stars Hallow over our very own lake. At last, over 200 years later, they will have their burial. And of course this is going to be a grand tourist attraction. It can only mean great things for Stars Hollow. I don't see why anyone would object. One would have to be an unpatriotic, bitter, hateful man (he once again looks at Luke) to object."
"I take it you objected," Lorelai says to Luke.
"You're damn right I did. This is ridiculous."
"Don't start again, Luke."
"Wait. You mean the lake's not going to be there anymore?" Rory questions, dumbfounded.
"Well, no. But think of what will be there in its place. Now I spoke to the director of the operations and the wildlife will not be left homeless. He's going to get some people over to collect them and relocate them. It's all very clean, very proper."
"But the lake, and the bridge…" she persists mournfully.
"Rory, I'm surprised at you. This is history we're talking about, and you're carrying on about a lake? Luke, what did you do to her?" Taylor points his gavel accusingly at Luke.
"I didn't do anything. She's obviously the one person in this town who has any sense. Some quacks read in an old journal something about bodies being thrown in a lake and now they're going to start turning everything upside down. Number one, you can't even be sure that it's the right lake, and number two, it's been over town hundred years. Whatever the fish didn't eat decomposed a long time ago. So why we're going to start changing everything to build some memorial over a clump of algae is beyond me. And don't think I don't know where your aim is, Taylor. This has nothing to do with patriotism. This is all about tourism. Pretty soon this won't be a residential town anymore. It'll be one big mall of collectible plates and porcelain unicorns next to a huge fancy plaque or statue marking the spot of an amoeba farm."
"You know what your problem is…"
"He watches too much of the Discovery channel?" Lorelai interjects.
"Excuse me," Rory tries to break in, "but couldn't there be a way to construct some memorial without destroying the lake. Maybe just put up a plaque that says, 'Here rest…"
"The bacteria that ate the bodies of great heroes of the American Revolution," Lorelai finishes.
"Rory, the whole purpose of the monument is that it should be a final burial. They want to cover up the lake. They're even going to put an inscription with the quote from the journal where the soldier laments his comrades' lack of burial."
"You know, some people get totally incinerated in wars, their ashes scattered about the earth. Why don't we just put plaques all over, cover up the oceans?" Luke continues his protest.
"He watches the History Channel, too," Lorelai quips.
At this point, Bootsy stands up, "You know, I think it's a disgrace that you have no respect for war heroes. Would you give up your life for your country? When I was in 'Nam…"
"You were never in 'Nam."
"Well, neither were you."
"So what's your point?"
"My point is that since I never fought for my country, I at least appreciate those that do. I give discounts on Memorial Day and Veteran's Day. What do you do?"
"I laugh at the people who think you gave them a discount."
Taylor pounds his gavel, "Now gentlemen, stop this. There's no need for this to continue. The matter has already been decided."
"All right, Taylor," Luke resigns, but not quite, "but I'll tell you what hasn't been decided. What happens to all that 'Save the Bridge' money you've collected. People have paid to maintain that bridge and now you are agreeing to destroy it. What are you doing with that money?"
"I'm donating it to the cause."
"You're putting the 'Save the Bridge' money towards the demolition of the bridge? That makes sense. Now you who supposedly care so much about the community of Stars Hollow, don't you think you should have asked the people who paid money to 'save' the bridge what they wanted to do with the money now?"
"As I recall, Luke, you have never given anything towards the 'Save the Bridge' fund."
"That's not the point, Taylor."
"All right. Does anyone who has given money to this fund object to it being used towards the cause? If so, raise your hand."
Lorelai raises her hand.
"Lorelai, you have never given anything to the fund."
"I dropped a penny in there once."
"I'll refund you your penny."
"Thank you."
"So that's it. This meeting is adjourned."
