Apocalypse Then!

OKAY to Cry Corral. Redux.

Our story takes place one year after "Is it Fall Yet". The scene opens just at dusk. The camera is moving just inches over the surface of a lake. Small choppy waves roughen the surface. As we continue towards the shore, we see a sylvan scene of trees and distant mountains. We move on, and pass canoes and a small motorboat (a Boston Whaler. You've seen them, with the wheel and controls in the center of the boat) clearly marked as a park rangers boat. The camera continues to move, past crude wooden docks, and toward even cruder cabins. One cabin is larger than the others. It has a large porch. Lights are on inside. The camera moves to the front door.

Inside, there is an assembly of children, all talking and throwing toys and creating a general atmosphere of chaos. There is a podium near the back of the room. Here stands Mr. O'Neill. He holds a small whistle to his lips and blows. It makes a timid sound, but the children become silent. Mr. O'Neill speaks.

Mr. O'Neill: (smiling) Hello, campers! And welcome to our second year of the "OKAY to Cry Corral"! Last years camp was a rousing success! We have so many new campers this year!

Mr. O'Neill: With so many new happy campers, we're going to need a lot of help this year. So first, I want to introduce someone some of you will remember from last year! Mr. DeMartino!

Many of the children do remember him! Cries of "Uncle Anthony!" are called out from the audience. Mr. DeMartino appears on at the podium. He smiles, and looked relaxed.

Mr. DeMartino: Thank you! It's GOOD to be BACK here again! Last year, we ALL worked together, and had FUN! I look forward to SPENDING time with you BRIGHT, EAGER to LEARN young PEOPLE!!!

The kids cheer! Mr. O'Neill takes the podium again.

Mr. O'Neill: Thank you, Anthony! My, such enthusiasm! Now, to introduce your other councilors! First, a familiar face from last year. Daria Morgendorffer!

A few scattered claps. Link is in the audience, and claps the loudest. Daria waves halfheartedly!

Mr. DeMartino: Good to be WORKING with YOU again, Daria.

Mr. O'Neill: Also, this year, we have an accomplished artist with us, in charge of our "arts and crafts" program! Campers, give a rousing "OKCC" hello to Jane Lane.

Jane approaches the podium. Some scattered applause.

Jane: (deadpan) Greetings campers! I'm really looking forward to gluing pop cycle sticks together with you guys this week!

The next part of her speech has more emotion!

Jane: (upbeat) I can honestly say this experience will enrich me more than it will you!

Jane steps back and stands next to Daria. Over scattered applause she speaks.
Jane: You owe me 100 George W's, Morgendorffer!

Daria: Don't call money by that any more. The thought of one hundred "Dubya's" is overwhelmingly depressing.

Jane: Fine. Smackers. Bucks. Samolians. Just cough it up. A week worth of moral support is expensive!

Daria slips several large denomination bills to Jane. Mr. D. walks over and welcomes Jane.

Mr. DeMartino: It's GOOD to HAVE another BRIGHT and TALENTED councilor with us this year, Jane!

Mr. O'Neill continues his introductions.

Mr. O'Neill: Last year, many of you said that there were not enough different kinds of activities for you all. Well, we got plenty for you this year! Now, this is just for you girls! This year we will have a special program for campers of the "fairer" sex. Let me introduce the councilor in charge. Ms. Janet Barch!

Mr. D. looks surprised and shocked as Janet Barch enters the room from a side door. She passes Mr. D and speaks.

Ms. Barch: Well hello, Anthony!

Mr. DeMartino: FANCY meeting YOU here, JANET!

Mr. DeMartino's composed and happy expression is melting away rapidly.

Ms. Barch walks up behind Mr. O'Neill, and pinches him on the ass.

Mr. O'Neill: (surprised) JANET! I mean, Ms. Barch!

He steps aside, and Janet Barch takes the podium.

Ms. Barch: Hello female campers! Our "women only" self-defense class will commence tomorrow. Calisthenics begin promptly at 0730! Our first class is 1000 hours. You will all be there, dressed and ready to workout, RIGHT!

A few scattered girls peep, "yes".

Ms. Barch: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!

All the female campers scream.

Female Campers: YES, MS. BARCH!!!

Ms. Barch leaves the podium, and stands next to Mr. D. Mr. O'Neill steps forward again.

Mr. O'Neill: Thank you! And we haven't forgotten you guys! Our boy's recreation will be lead by members of the Lawndale Lions football team!

Joey, Jeffie and Jamie step out of the back room. They scan the councilors, and zoom in on Daria. Immediately, a fight starts.

Jeffie: You said Quinn would be here!

Jamie: I saw the signup sheet for camp. It said Q. Morgendorffer!

Jeffie: Then you didn't read it right! That's her sister!

Jeffie shoves Jamie roughly. Jamie proclaims...

Jamie: It looked like a Q! I swear!

The three "J's" begin to fight amongst themselves. Over the din, Mr. O'Neill continues.

Mr. O'Neill: And, in charge of our football camp, we have none other the star quarterback of the Lions, Kevin Thompson!

The campers cheer! Kevin comes in, holds up a football, and the crowd goes wild! He stands next to a very upset Mr. DeMartino.

Kevin: Hey, Mr. D! You signed my yearbook with "This is the last time I have to see your face, Kevin". Guess you were wrong!

Mr. O'Neill calms the exuberant campers down.

Mr. O'Neill: We have a lot of fun activities this year. But don't forget. The theme of this camp is its OK to show your emotions! If you're happy, smile! If you're sad, then it's "OKAY to Cry!"

A pregnant pause. Then Daria speaks.

Daria: As Mr. DeMartino will now demonstrate.

The camera zooms on Mr. DeMartino's face. He is crying in frustration! His eyes open and look at Kevin standing by his side. He clamps them shut again.

Mr. DeMartino: Oh, God!


Daria and Jane are in a cabin. Outside, it is dark. Behind them, young female campers are calling out "tops" for the bunk beds, unpacking and just creating a general background commotion. Near the front of the cabin are two regular beds. Daria is making up hers. Jane is struggling to pull a bag though the front door.

Jane: Daria, give me a hand here!

Daria grabs a cloth handle on the bag and helps Jane pull it over by her bed. There are already several large bags there. Daria releases her end of the sack. It lands with a metallic clank.

Daria: What is all this?

Jane: Art supplies! I brought my own!

Daria: You were lying about looking forward to gluing pop-cycle sticks together.

Jane: Jane Lane does not glue pop-cycle sticks! Look here!

Jane pulls from a bag a huge femur bone.

Daria: Been to the butcher shop, I see.

Jane: For a project of this scale, I went to the slaughterhouse! You can get intact bones there! Like this beauty!

Daria reaches into a bag, and pulls out rubber tubing, glass tubes, hypodermic syringes without the needles, and other assorted medical supplies.

Jane: Hospital just threw that stuff out, just because it expired! Can you believe it? (Jane reaches into a bag) Look, a blood warmer!

Daria kicks the bag she was dragging. It clanks again.

Daria: And this is...

Jane: Car parts, bits of old appliances, parts from industrial machines. I found a junkyard. It's only a mile or so away from here.

Daria: And the theme of your art class will be...

Jane: Neo Industrial Post Mortem Modern Auto Part Found Art!

There is a pause. Daria speaks.

Daria: If you wanted to do art, you could have gone back to art camp.

Jane: No thanks. I can call the shots here. And keep my virtue!

Daria: Well, I'm glad to have you here. I didn't know about Mr. O'Neill's cast of thousands...

Jane: It looks like he's learned to delegate! With all these extra councilors, I wonder what he will be doing?

Only a second passes before that answer is revealed. A loudspeaker is crudely mounted on the wall of the cabin. It crackles to life...

Mr. O'Neill: (distorted by speaker) Good Evening, fellow campers! I trust you've all settled in, and are ready to rest, in preparation for a glorious day tomorrow.

A camera shot outside. In the middle of the compound is a phone pole, with outdoor speakers mounted on it. Mr. O'Neill's voice booms from this source too.

Mr. O'Neill: (distorted) I have always found it important to take a moment out, every morning and every night, to reflect on past activities, and contemplate the future.

Now the camera is inside the main lodge. Mr. O'Neill is at a microphone, in front of an amplifier. In his hand he holds an open book.

Mr. O'Neill: (into microphone) Every night, and every morning, I will read a passage from my favorite book, "Affirmations"!

Mr. O'Neill begins to read. His voice booms across the camp.

Mr. O'Neill: (distorted through loudspeakers) To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

Return to a shot of the exterior of the camp. O'Neill's voices echoes through the trees.

Mr. O'Neill: (distorted) To make all your friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them. To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

We see a shot of the inside of Daria and Jane's cabin. All the campers stand still in their spots for a moment.

Mr. O'Neill: (distorted) To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best. To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

The younger campers climb in their beds. They pull out Walkman's and CD players, and put the earphones on their heads. Jane does the same. Daria walks over to her bed, and falls backwards into it.

Daria: This is going to be a long week.

Throughout the camp, Mr. O'Neill's voice drones on...



The next scene is the exterior of the camp. The cabins are seen in the background. It is bright and sunny, so apparently it is the following day.

Daria is walking along the campgrounds, clipboard in hand, wearing her "OKAY to Cry" tee shirt and jeans. As she walks, Link comes up from behind her.

Link: Hey, Daria.

Daria: Oh. Hello Link.

Link: What did you think of this mornings "Affirmation"?

Daria: Disraeli with your breakfast does not make camp food taste any better.

Link: Agreed.

They walk by Ms. Barch and her students. Janet is dressed in a karate outfit (gi) and a black belt. She has a human shaped dummy suspended from a post on the ground. All the female campers are seated on the ground, in shorts and tee shirts, watching her.

Ms. Barch: There is no better way of dealing with an attacker, especially a male one, than using an old fashioned knee kick.

Walking over to the dummy, she grabs it by the shoulders, and drives her knee between its "legs". Link winces empatheticly.

In front of them, the Lawndale Lions show off their stuff. Kevin and two boys stand together, with footballs in hand. Kevin throws his, and mimicking him, the two boys throw theirs.

Running for the catch is Jeffie. Two boys run along side him. They all slow down, and turn to catch the ball. Jeffie gets hit in the head by the ball, and is thrown backwards. The two boys are also hit in the head. All three lie sprawled out on the grass.

Behind Daria and Link appears Mr. DeMartino, running at a trot. Behind him are a group of campers. The campers call out "Go, Uncle Anthony!"

Mr. DeMartino: OK! Everybody in swimsuits! We meet at the dock in five minutes!

Link: We have some real "cults of personality" forming here.

Daria: And what faction do you plan to align with?

Link: Actually, I'm going to help your friend Jane. I'm going to install motors and a remote control into a statue she's making. Sort of a "Battlebot" made with steer bones. Where are you going?

Daria: I get to sit at the front gate.

Link: Sounds boring.

Daria: It has its perks. I can read, and I'm allowed to shoot anyone who tries to escape.

Link: Cool. See you later.

Link walks off. Daria stops. Off camera, we hear a female voice. It belongs to Ms. Barch.

Ms. Barch: (off camera) Oh, Anthony. Could you come here for a moment? I need the assistance of a big strong man for my next demonstration.

Mr. DeMartino: (off camera) Sure!


It is dark. Daria lies on her bed in her cabin, wearing only a tee shirt. Over the loudspeakers, Mr. O'Neill's nightly affirmation drones on.

Mr. O'Neill: (distorted through loudspeakers) Be among people and things, among troubles, difficulties and obstacles. Your character develops itself in the stream of life. Life expects you to make progress in reasonable time. That's why they make those grade school chairs so small.

With Mr. O'Neill droning on in the background, we see shot of Mr. DeMartino, in his cabin lying on his bed. He is holding his hands over his groin, shaking violently and groaning.

Mr. O'Neill: Learn quickly that the setbacks and grief's you endure actually help you in your march forward to success. The world was built to develop your character.

The camera returns to Daria's cabin. We have a down shot, directly of our heroine.

Mr. O'Neill: (distorted) Well, goodnight campers! Look forward to working and playing with you all again tomorrow!

Daria look relieved. But only briefly. The microphone is still on. Over the speakers, we hear Janet Brach's voice.

Ms. Barch: (distorted, over the speaker) It's about time you finished. You're gonna be playing with me, TONIGHT, skinny!

Mr. O'Neill: (distorted) But, we have to be up...

There is a lot of thumping and bumping coming through the speakers. The sound of a voice going "Hmmmmm" and "if that's what you want". In just moments, groans of ecstasy begin to echo through the campground.

Daria takes a pillow, and holds it over her head. The moans and groans grow louder. She rams the pillow down determinedly over her ears.



It is daytime again. The campers are all assembled inside of the main lodge. Mr. O'Neill is at the podium. Daria, Jane and all the councilors stand just behind him.

Mr. O'Neill: Well campers, tonight we a choice of activities for everyone! Mr. DeMartino will be holding a bonfire and marshmallow roast this evening by the lakeside.

Mr. O'Neill: Now, I know that some of you won't want to go out in the dark and get all dirty and wet and be bitten by mosquitoes! So, for those of you who choose to stay here, we'll play charades and other parlor games! So, who's with me!

The camera is locked on Mr. O'Neill's face. Off camera is heard the sound of running feet, and chairs being knocked over. As the camera dollies back, we see the room is empty, except for Mr. O'Neill, Daria, Jane and Link. Silence. Then Jane speaks.

Jane: I'm thinking of an object. Two words.

Daria: Horse's ass.

Jane: Damn you, woman!

Daria, Jane and Link walk off screen. Mr. O'Neill's alarm on his watch goes off. He runs in the opposite direction.

Mr. O'Neill: Oh my. Time for my encaenia!



It is dark. By the lakeside, a huge bonfire burns. Campers run around, brandishing hot dogs and marshmallows on sharp sticks. Mr. DeMartino watches from a distance, obviously proud of his idea and the results.

The children are filthy, and loving it. Jamie has a box of face paints on a picnic table. He is painting lines on the children's faces. The kids line up for their turn. Jeffie walks by.

Jeffie: What are you doing?

Jamie: War paint. Like the Indians!

Jeffie: Cool!

Kevin and Joey and some enthusiastic kids throw logs in the huge fire. The flames roar ever higher. On a hill, in the distance, is a fire tower. The scene changes to the top of the tower.

A man inside is looking at a glowing spot near the horizon. He picks up a microphone, and calls into it.

Ranger: Tango Alpha Two. Do you copy? Over.

Radio: Tango Alpha Two copy.

Ranger: It's probably nothing, but there is a huge fire over by the summer camp. Can you fly by and see what it is?

Radio: Roger that.

The ranger cradles the mike. A shadowy figure of a helicopter passes the tower.

Back at the bonfire, the over enthusiastic keepers of the flame look for something else to throw on the fire. There is a box of "OKAY to Cry" brochures. Kevin grabs the box and hurls it into the flames. But much of the boxes contents are blown upward by the updraft caused by the fire. Mr. DeMartino rushes over to Kevin, and restrains him.

Mr. DeMartino: The FIRE is QUITE BIG enough, KEVIN!

But now papers begin to fly around the fire in a circular fashion. The flames corkscrew, and the smoke blows down to the ground, and begins to form a helix. In the twilight, the faces of the children, covered in mud and paint, and illuminated by the flames, take on a surreal look.

Mr. DeMartino looks at the crowd, and the flames, transfixed. The camp pamphlets begin to rain down on the assembled masses. And above it all, stirring the flames and smoke, is the ghostly silhouette of a helicopter. The only sound heard is the WUMP WUMP WUMP of helicopter blades. A loudspeaker booms out a voice from the chopper...

Helicopter: (loud and distorted) PLEASE CONTAIN YOUR FIRE! REPEAT! SUPPRESS YOUR FIRE!

Mr. DeMartino begins hyperventilating! Suddenly, above the roar of the flames, and the helicopter, he falls to his knees and screams!

Mr. DeMartino: I SEE THE ENCAMPMENT! IF I SEE AN AMBUSH, I'll LAY DOWN SUPPRESSING FIRE! IDIOTS! WE HIT SOMETHING! MY GOD! WE'VE FAILED! GOD! I'VE FAILED!

Mr. D's eyes roll up into his head. He falls flat on his face. The campers stand around him, in shock.

The camera now takes the helicopters point of view, looking down on the fire, the campers, and the still figure below. The chopper continues to hover. The scene closes with the sound of WUMP WUMP WUMP WUMP WUMP.

LA LA LA LA LA.


Part 2