Fate Beckons
Chapter 6: Reawakening Feelings
Disclaimers apply
Aoshi stared at Misao's retreating back. The day had gone by in a flash and he had discovered many new things about Misao. He had missed watching her grow up, and now he saw how much she had changed. Still as active and enthusiastic as ever, but more mature and graceful. She was still irascible (got angry easily--I learnt this word during English lessons) but much less than before. Also--did he dare say it?--she had grown prettier.
He recalled what Misao had told him--about her dream. Contrary to what he had told her, he had begun to wonder if Fate was really trying to send them a message. When he had first met Misao more than 10 years ago, he had felt as though he had known her long ago.
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Begin memory
An image of a chibi Misao flashed through his mind. She was 2 years old and sitting on a swing, her mother beside her. His own mother placed a hand on his shoulder, guiding him towards them.
Misao grinned when she saw them. Tumbling down from the swing, she toddled over to Aoshi and kissed him on the cheek--a kiss so chaste and pure. She then smiled her innocent smile at him, and the longer they stood there, looking each other in wonder, the stronger the feeling of deja vu grew.
"You are my friend." The halting words of a child who had just learnt how to speak. But it was so sincere and touching he could not help but oblige. Looking into her clear blue eyes, he mustered all the strength in his seven year old body to pick her up and carry her. Around them their parents were grinning.
"Call your Aoshi-kor," one of Misao's aunts told her. Another toothy grin.
"Aoshi-kor!"
"Aoshi, ii nii-chan tte nakereba naranai no,"[ Aoshi, you'd must be a good "older brother"](I don't know if it's correct, so correct me if it isn't please!) his mother told him.
"Hai, okaachan!" Turning to Misao, he grinned. "Come on, Misao, asonde kimashou!" [Let's go and play]
End memory
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A smile had slowly widened on Aoshi's face as he relived the memory. So much had happened since that...so many things had changed. And he was not as innocent as he used to be.
"Hannya...Beshimi...Shikijou...Hyottoko..." he murmured aloud as he thought about how he had caused the deaths of his four best friends. They had gone to school and into National Service together, and been almost like blood brothers‚ going through thick and thin together(tong2gan1gong4ku3).
The events flashed back to him, like an annoying advertisement between a good show. The training in Taiwan...the drug peddlers they had tried to stop...the flash of a pistol...blood. The blood of his friends who tried to shield him. His eyes darkened as he sank into depression again. If Misao knew...she would not look upon him with those adoring eyes anymore. Those eyes would probably be filled with anger and hurt instead.
Those azure blue eyes...he remembered them, looking wonderingly as he introduced his four friends to Misao.
"Hannya, why do you wear a mask?" A question so innocent. All the rest knew that an accident had caused Hannya's face to be disfigured, but none knew how to explain it to the little five- year old live wire.( Just learnt about live wires and fuses during Science today!)
"So that I won't scare you," Hannya offered weakly and Misao had seemed to accept it. However, she had suddenly reached out and pulled his mask off a few moments later. Other children would have cried, screamed, perhaps even ran away--but Misao's lips just trembled slightly before reaching out to touch the horrifically disfigured face.
"I don't care what you look like, you don't scare me! You'll always be my friend just like Aoshi-kor." So it was that from then on, the five of them--Aoshi, Beshimi, Hannya, Shikijou and Hyottoko became Misao's bests friends and playmates, and sometimes, even protectors.
Misao turned, smiled and waved again, stopping in her tracks. "See you again soon!" She called out to the Shinomoris, before running to catch up with her parents, long hair in a ponytail flying behind her.
And Aoshi's heart went with her.
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Misao could not sleep.
It was already past midnight and everything was quiet--except for the occasional screeching of tires on the road outside. She would usually be asleep by then, but somehow she could not keep her eyes closed. Her mind kept replaying the far-away look that had been persistent in Aoshi's deep, bottomless eyes.
It's as if he's in his own world--and has built an iron wall around it. She wondered how she was going to break through those walls and really bring out the Aoshi she had known. He had been that that day, but with a reservedness that was just--not the Aoshi she knew. The old Aoshi was still in there, somewhere, and had shown himself through all the teasing...
He seems so sad...and he's just so cold sometimes...like he's made of ice... She hugged her knees to her chest. Aoshi had not even laughed once the entire day--he just gave tiny, barely noticeable smirks! He was shutting them out from his world, not revealing his true feelings. Even when he teased her, it seemed to be only to hide what his heart felt. But why? The Aoshi she knew never hid what he really felt.
Does he find me disgusting? Too childish? Idly, she picked up the two week month old newspaper that lay on her nearby desk.
"Four NSmen Shot Fatally In Taiwan," she read, curiosity aroused. Why hadn't she noticed that article before? Then she suddenly remembered the reason--she had thought the headline uninteresting. Learning that Aoshi had just returned from Taiwan a fortnight ago had made the headline more interesting--especially as it included "NSmen". Did Aoshi know about this? she wondered, scanning through the first paragraph. Then something caught her eye, and she re-read the paragraph more carefully
The words were clear, in black and white. But the world suddenly seemed to spin around her. It can't be! Why didn't Aoshi tell me? Why didn't he say anything about it? What's he hiding from us? The questions whirled around in her head, a confusion of thoughts. The air was suddenly cold on her skin, her head faint with shock. And the tears began to flow.
Tbc...
Notes: It's like the past being replayed here... please R & R! Don't be shy lah...tell me what I can improve on.
© Evon (celste) 5. 3. 2002
