Are We or Aren't We?

Chapter 9 – Misery loves company

"So here we are," Jess said, waving an arm at Miss Patty's dance studio.  Inside, visible from the open door, were around twenty small girls hopping happily around in pink tutus.  Miss Patty's voice could be heard booming over the loud waltz playing inside.

"And one, and two, and three!  Pull in those stomachs girls, no sausage fingers.  Anna, your tushie is like chocolate pudding.  Pull up!"

At that, even Jess gave a small smile. 

Tristan was staring off into space as he looked through the dance studio.  Then his lips opened and Jess realized that he was whispering to himself.  He leaned closer to hear. 

"...dear Juliet, Why art thou yet so fair?  Shall I believe that unsubstantial death..." At the last word, Tristan's voice shook slightly and he stopped.  Jess looked up at him.  His lips were pressed tightly together and if he hadn't known better Jess would have thought he saw tears in his eyes.

'...that unsubstantial death is amorous; And that the lean abhorred monster keeps thee here in dark to be his paramour?" Jess continued softly.  Tristan turned his head and looked at him.

"Who are you?" Tristan asked in a slightly suspicious voice. 

"What do you mean?" Jess said, stepping back slightly.

"You can quote Shakespeare word perfectly?"

"I like to read." Jess said matter of factly.

"Huh," Tristan said, looking away.  Despite himself, Jess felt himself start to smile.

"You stole my line," he said.

"Huh?" Tristan said, looking once again at him, but now with a puzzled expression on his face.  Jess gave a short laugh.

"Nevermind," he opened his mouth to say more, but the next thing he knew, he was flying through the air.  He landed with a thump at the base of a large tree.  He gasped, and rubbed his back gingerly where he had come into contact with a root.

"You jerk!"  It was Dean, coming towards him slowly, his whole face showing anger.

"Well, this had to come sooner or later," Jess said resignedly as he scrambled to his feet and pulled himself to his fullest height.

"Did you think you'd be able to get away with it?"

"Let me think now, get away with what?" Jess said sarcastically.

"Shut up!" Dean grabbed Jess' collar.  "I thought you actually cared about her.  I thought that since Rory cared just a little about you there might be something good about you-"  Jess pushed Dean off hard.

"You thought, huh?  Well guess what Dean, Rory cares a lot more than a little about me!"  Dean raised his lips into what could only be called a snarl.  "She kissed me the second time and not the other way around!"  Dean's hands were clenched at his sides and Jess readied himself for the punch that was about to –

It never came.  Jess opened his eyes and followed Dean's gaze.  He'd seen Tristan. 

"Well, long time no see, bag-" Tristan started, a fake smile on his face.

"Shut it," Dean said quietly but with more real menace in those two words than Jess had heard in a long time.  "I should have known," he said, but this time his voice was low and full of regret.  He looked up at them, expressionless.  "Well you've finally won," he said bitterly.  "Both of you."  He turned around and walked away, his hands still clenched at his sides.

They stared after him, once again silent.

*  *  *

Rory opened her eyes, turned over and stared at her clock.  9:30 pm.  She rubbed her eyes and then cautiously raised herself up on her elbows and looked around her dark room.  It was empty and quiet.  She got up, threw on some clothes and put on her shoes.  She tiptoed outside of her room and almost fell over the figure propped up on guard outside. 

"Luke," she whispered.  She smiled, bent over and patted him on the forehead.  In response, he gave a slight snore and she giggled.  She crept down the stairs and stood still in the kitchen, touching her forehead.  It was hot.  She was all hot, she realized, and she turned the knob of the backdoor to go outside. 

The cold air hit her, and she stood still for a minute, just breathing.  Then, as her eyes adjusted to the dark, she made out a dark shape standing next to a tree, watching her.  She took in a quick breath, and tried to stop her heart from pounding.

"Who is it?" she called out softly, not daring to move.

"You can't even recognize me anymore, can you?"  He moved out slightly into the light. 

"Dean!" Rory said, the guilt hitting her like a sledgehammer.  She moved out to meet him.  When she was an arm length's away she paused.  There was something wrong, she could see it in the way he was holding himself.  She took two steps and then leaned in to kiss him.  He turned his head away and took two steps back.

"What's going on?" she said, reaching out to touch him.  He pulled away.

"I know," Dean finally said softly.  He looked down, to the side, anywhere so as not to look into her eyes.

"You know what?" Rory asked, not wanting to hear the answer.  Dean didn't answer, just pressed his lips tightly together.  And then he took a step backwards.

"I'm not good enough for you," he said.  He clenched his hands at his side and then swung his fist down, catching himself hard on the knee.  "Look at me.  I'm a failure.  I don't deserve you.  You deserve someone who's smart and intelligent, and who's going to have a future.  I can't give that to you."

"No, Dean-" Rory leaned closer to him.

"Stop it, Rory!" he blurted out.  For the first time in her life Rory saw tears spurt out of his eyes.  "We're fooling ourselves.  I'm fooling myself."

"That's not-" Rory tried to say.

"It is," Dean said loudly.  "It is true, Rory," he repeated softly, dragging out her name as he said it.  He looked at her for a second.  Then he turned and started walking away.

"Dean!" Rory said.  He didn't turn.  "Whatever you say, I did love you," Rory called to his back.  Dean stopped for a second and she only just caught his last quiet word.

"Loved."  He kept on walking.

Rory stood there, looking at his disappearing back.    She tried to memorize his easy lope, the way he kept his arms just inside his coat pockets.  She already felt a hole in her heart.  And yet – and yet -

Inside the house she saw the light in Lorelai's room go on.  Rory couldn't go back in there and face her questions.  Quickly, she stepped into the shadows and started walking.  A few minutes later she was opening the door of the diner and was standing inside.   

It was dark with long shadows cast from the piled up tables and chairs.  Jess must be upstairs, Rory thought to herself.  She took two steps towards the stairs and then stopped.  "No," she whispered to herself.  Why would he want to see her anyway?  She turned around and walked out. 

Behind her, Jess slowly stood up from the chair where he'd been sitting in the shadows.  He headed towards the door, his hand shaking slightly.

Rory was far off in front of him, but as he watched she stopped near Miss Patty's dance studio, and like Tristan, just stared.  In the still night he could only just hear her next words.

"Oh Romeo, Romeo," she whispered.  "Where for art thou-"

"Right here," came a voice and then a laugh.  Rory whirled around towards the sound.  He was sitting on the front steps.

"Tristan?"

"Right here, Juliet," he said.

"Is that my new nickname?" Rory asked, a slow smile starting to spread across her face.

"A new nickname, you ask?" he said, his own sarcastic smile coming back.  "New?  Nah, just another one, Mary."  Rory laughed cautiously, watching his reaction.  He patted the stair next to him.  Rory gave another small smile and then stepped forward to claim her seat.

Jess, watching from the shadow of a large tree nearby, rested his forehead onto the tree bark.  So here he was.  Alone.  Again.  His other life – gone, and Rory, his only life now - gone.  Hell, even Luke hadn't come back to give him the talking-to he'd promised.  He took one last look at the two figures and then turned around.  He reached the main road and started walking.

As ever, thanks for reading!  Any suggestions?  Please review!