Sequel to Mercy's Sacrifice

~*~ Chapter 1 ~*~

The Fear

Yawning, Duo awoke to find the fire dying in the hearth, his comrades still asleep. He could have sworn that he'd just closed his eyes a minute ago. He must have fallen asleep. Taking a couple of logs from the pile, he tossed them pathetically onto the fire, watching them burn as the cabin began to light up once more. "Stupid war," he whispered softly to himself. The heat of the flames and the dancing light began to make him sleepy once more. No matter how he fought it off, sleep kept beckoning to him, pulling him with a strong grasp into dream land once more. The young American fell to sleep in front of the fire, unable to fight it off any longer.

While the others slept soundly, the young Japanese pilot was far from a peaceful slumber. Nightmares plagued his dreams, not letting him wake up. He was in the icy lake, though it was not Quatre who struggled for air, but he. Yet, as he was being put through the torture, it was as if he was meant to experience it for eternity, never having the chance to end his pain in death.

Something, a creature of the shadows, lurked with him in the water. It was only the two, for no one was there to help him. The creature of the shadows lurked in the depths, circling his struggling form, coming closer ever so slowly. It's form blended so well with the shadows, it was impossible to determine its size. With a suddenness, the creature stopped, and faced him. Heero could feel the hungry eyes penetrating his very soul, sizing him up for a meal. Then, in one sudden rush, the creature of the darkness raced at him, white teeth glistening like sabers in the bright sunlight, their ends deadly and razor sharp.

Heero bolted upright, his body soaked in his own sweat as he trembled in the cozy cabin walls. Breathing erratic, he looked about him, finding that he wasn't in the lake, but in the safe house with his friends. "I-It was all just a nightmare. Nothing more, just a nightmare." Trying to calm himself, he looked around the room, kind of surprised that Duo hadn't waken him up yet and that Duo wasn't at his side, worried to death as he usually is. Casting a glance near the fire, he knew why. Duo lay asleep, curled up by the fire with a peaceful look on his face. "Duo..." he whispered, shaking his head slightly as he got to his trembling legs. Walking over to the young American, Heero kneeled next to his friend. "Dou? Duo, come on, wake up." His voice was soft and compassionate, extremely different from his normal somber voice.

"Just a few more seconds guys..." he didn't recognize Heero's voice as he thought of it as one of his older comrades from the sweeper group.

"Duo wake up." Heero spoke this time with a little less emotion and more firmness.

Duo recognized that cold tone in a flash, wide awake in no time as he sat, facing his friend. Yawning, he looked curiously into Heero's face. "What's wrong buddy? I didn't realize it was you callin'. I usually get one of those, 'Get up now,' rude awakenings that I didn't think it was real." Rubbing the sleep from his eyes with his palms, he tried not to give into sleep a third time.

"I told you to wake me up."

"Oh, ya. Sorry about that. Guess I was a little out of it. I'm really sorry about that though. Hey, is there anything wrong? You don't look like you woke up on your own accord." Duo was now noticing that Heero still looked worn and tired, but he didn't seem to want to go anywhere near sleep again. He also noticed that Heero was shaking slightly, and he didn't think it was due to cold.

"That's fine Duo. Go ahead and take the couch, you need the sleep. I'll take watch now." Heero avoided his other questions, rising to his feet and offering his hand to his comrade with a slight smile.

"Thanks, but what's wrong? You aren't even hiding it very well, and you might feel better if ya talk about it. It musta really scared the crap out of you Heero, c'mon, just tell me what's wrong." Duo took his hand and raised himself to his feet, but his questions persisted.

"It's nothing to worry about. Just get some sleep. We don't know when or if OZ will find us here and we...."

"It's about what happened at the lake, isn't it?" Duo watched Heero stop dead in his tracks, his back turned to the one called Shinigami. Heero's fists were clenched and trembling, his muscles tense as he hung his head, only sparing Duo a small glance out of the corner of his eye. "I'm right, aren't I?"

"It just won't let me be," his voice was barely a whisper, his words slightly broken.

Looking over at the kitchen inlet, he motioned for his companion to join him at the small table. Heero followed, his steps sluggish and unsure as he crossed the room. Taking a seat, Duo waited for him to settle before he continued his inquisition. "What was it? A nightmare? Please, tell me what's wrong and maybe I can help." There was a slight cheeriness in his voice mixed with sympathy as he persisted.

"It was just a dream Duo, nothing else. There's no need to worry about it, you need to get some sleep." Turning to rise again, he looked back immediately to a firm grasp on his wrist.

"Oh ya, that was just ingenious!" A few of the rules he'd learned when fighting with Heero was to: never touch the guy unless absolutely, positively necessary, make no sudden movements toward or around him, and never contradict his decisions unless you had a death wish. He'd just broken every one of those rules, and probably a few others that he couldn't remember at that moment. Seeing as how he was probably dead anyway, he continued. "I ain't letting you get away with it that easily. I've let everything else slide, but if ya don't talk about some things, they'll eat away at ya. Besides, if it's scared the crap out of ya, then you should talk to someone." "Well, my life's over! Why don't I ever think before I do things like that?!?!"

Stopping his almost instant reaction to tear his arm from Duo and put him in his place as he would have done normally, he just continued to look at Duo's hand. It still bound his wrist, and then Duo even had the guts to tell him different than what his decision was. Yet for some reason, he didn't get angry, but was kind of glad that the American had decided to persist. Maybe it would put him somewhat at ease if he talked about it. Sighing, he looked over at his surprised brother, feeling somewhat guilty for everything that had happened to Quatre. "What?"

"Uh, am I still alive? We are really having this conversation and it's not just a dream?" Duo slowly released his grip, but was somewhat surprised not to be near unconscious on the floor and in pain for his actions. "Usually, I would have experienced a near death disciplining, or is this just a delayed reaction?"

Shaking his head from side to side, he sat down in the chair, slight amusement in his eyes. "You're just fine Duo, I'm not angry with you. I'm kind of glad you're willing to listen, whether I can truly tell you what's bothering me or not."

Heaving a huge sigh, but not being too obnoxious about it, he grinned across the table at his peer. "Well, you sure as heck scared me to death! I though I was gonna die for sure. But ya, that's what friends are for, don't worry about it man. Just go ahead whenever you're ready."

"I...I don't know how to explain it," laying his arms on the table, then his head upon his arms, Heero closed his eyes and listened to his now steady breathing, feeling Duo's eyes watching him. Just as the creature's eyes were watching him in his nightmare. "I-I think my dream is related to my thoughts somewhat. I...I feel guilty for what happened to Quatre, in a lot of ways, I could have stopped it all. Yet, do to failure, I didn't, and it nearly cost me a dear friend."

"Heero, it wasn't..." Duo was cut off. Heero raised his head from his arms, his look depressed and forlorn. Duo tried to, but couldn't even spare a small smile at seeing Heero's emotions clearly etched upon his face. His eyes displayed his fatigue, his energy slim to none. "It wasn't your fault buddy. You can't blame yourself for something you had no control over, and you did the best you could with what you had. You've just gotta let what happened already be, and prevent what you can in the future as best as you can." "Did I just say that? Something's definitely wrong with me. Man, I really need a vacation."

With effort, Heero let a small smile play on his lips, trying to keep himself from falling to sleep. He didn't have the energy to stay up, but he didn't want to fall into another fitful dream. He didn't want to see that nightmare again.

A violent coughing made both boys hold their breath as they listened to in silence. It was coming from Quatre's room.

"You get some sleep buddy, I'll watch over Quatre. I'll stay awake this time, I swear." Letting out a small chuckle, Duo rose with a slightly worried look on his face as Heero rose and began to head toward the door. "Hey, don't worry so much. He's probably just getting a cold from that water. It's only common. I mean c'mon, it's winter, the season of colds! Go lay down, you need to sleep." Duo released a sigh when Heero refused, yet again. "Look man, please don't argue with me, I have more strength than you do and you can't fight me.

"Forget it Duo, I can't sleep, not now. C'mon..." Passing by Duo, Heero ignored Duo's disappointment and opened the door to the small room. Quatre was awake, looking at the ceiling as if in a daydream. He was slightly pale and looked very tired, something to be expected. "Quatre?"

Quatre, realizing that someone else was in the room with him, slowly let his eyes wander toward the door. A weak smile crossed his weary lips when he saw Heero entering, soon to be followed by Duo. It was giving him something to smile about, for he felt absolutely miserable. Of course, he was glad to be alive, but his ankle was extremely sore along with his lungs and ribs. He was probably getting a cold too, just to make things worse. "Heero..." his voice called, it's normal kindness hidden beneath a roughness. His throat was raw and sore, but he greeted his friend none the less. "Hey Du....*coughing* " Quatre didn't get to finish his sentence before his body was shaken with yet more violent coughing. It felt as if some of the cold water from the lake had refused to exit his lungs.

Heero, worry crossing his features, strode over to his friend's bedside. He knew that Duo was probably right, Quatre was just getting a cold....but something else seemed wrong. Duo was by his side in seconds as well. He waited until the fit of coughs subsided. "You okay, Quatre?"

"Y-ya, I'm fine." With a sigh, which wasn't one of the best ideas in the world, Quatre closed his eyes but not before he placed a weary arm protectively over his ribs. He would have to remember not to do that again.

Duo eyed his little buddy with a skeptical glance. "Sure ya are, how ya feeling though other than the cold you're gettin'?" With a small smile, he took a wooden chair from near the window and sat on it backwards, facing the young aristocrat.

Not wanting to sound rude, for he knew that the guys were helping him as best as they could with what they had, he softly replied, "I could be better,....unh." His throat was on fire, every breath was now a feeling of agony. Grimacing, he opened his eyes slowly, avoiding the curious and worried stares of his comrades.

"Well, you don't look so good, no offence, but you need to sleep." Duo's voice was cheery, but he was still unsure and worried about his young friend. He watched Quatre give him a quizzical, then an agreeing look as he mulled over the proposition.

Quatre, lacking the strength to argue, nodded meekly. The reason he'd woken up was due to his coughing, and just the thought of any added irritation to his throat made the pain return almost instantly. *I definitely know how Quatre feels here* With a small sigh, he closed his eyes and began to fall into a deep sleep. Just before he reached that wondrous and bliss portion of unconsciousness, he began to cough once again, his lungs sore and his body trembling with the action.

Heero looked on in pity as he listened to Quatre's pained gasps, his throat probably a deep crimson from the cold. But, like it always did, it would pass. Until then, they could do nothing for the young Arabian except to make him a comfortable as possible. "Try and get some rest, Quatre. You'll need it, it'll help you get over the illness faster." Unconsciously, Heero stood and didn't realize that he was actually recovering the cold and tired young man until he saw Quatre's weary and questioning gaze. He didn't realize why he'd done it, he didn't even know he was doing it. But there he stood, before Quatre with the covers in place and his hands falling to his sides from the movements.

"Whoa....uh....dude? You need really need to get some sleep. You're startin' to worry me Heero." Duo, standing up with a questioning look, faced his comrade with a look of question. "You feeling all right partner?"

"Uh...fine, I'm fine Duo. What? You've never seen someone move a blanket before?" His voice held more sarcasm than he meant, regretting it as he watched Duo look at him with a stunned expression.

"No, I mean I have, but not you. NO OFFENCE! Really, but it's just weird watching you do it. I don't know how to explain it, it's just weird. No offence, none meant what-so-ever, but I...it's just weird man." Shying away, he waited for yet another punishment for disregarding Heero's actions and not thinking about what he was saying beforehand.

Sighing, Heero watched Duo cower away slightly. What was with these guys, he was only human! Didn't they trust him any longer? It was like they feared with and they started acting weird when he was around. Well, most except Wufei, but he hardly talked to Heero or anyone else except Quatre. "Duo...stop. I'm not going to hurt you, I don't know what your problem is. It's not like I'm going to kill you if you speak." At times, Duo could be a little annoying, but Duo was also his friend. "Do you honestly fear me that much?"

"Uh..." Duo glanced down at Quatre who looked just as confused as he felt. Duo hesitated to answer. He couldn't lie to Heero, but he didn't want to upset the guy or anything for telling him the truth. "Ya, but he asked for honesty. On the other hand, the guy's had it really rough in life and he's my friend. WHY ME?!?!?!" He continued to mull over the thoughts in his mind, his voice remaining silent.

His silence was all Heero needed to confirm his hypothesis. Duo did fear him, he feared him like an enemy. "Quatre? Do you?"

Quatre didn't want to admit it, but he was somewhat. Heero was unpredictable from time to time, and usually it wasn't best for him to be that impulsive. But, after he got to know Heero, he didn't really fear him, as long as Heero wasn't in one of his moods of anger and hatred. "Honestly, and please hear me out first," he disregarded his throat's rebellion to the speaking for Heero would think what he believed the truth to be if he didn't hear the actual truth. "...when we first me, I have to admit that I was quite terrified of you, your impulsive actions and reckless nature," At this, Heero's eyes fell to the floor, his look one of a great hurting and regret, "...but," his interest perked up slightly, "when I came to know you, I realize why you do the things you do, and why you are the way you are. I don't fear a friend, and not one I consider a dear brother, and I'm sure the rest of us feel the same." His last few words were broken and his voice dropped to a whisper. He looked over at Duo who's eyes began to sparkle.

Heero let a small smile grace his lips at hearing what he'd never thought he would. He was glad that Quatre didn't fear him, even if he gave him plenty of reason to do so. Maybe that's what Duo was trying to say, but couldn't. He didn't blame Duo if he feared him, it was only to be expected. Maybe after this war, just maybe, he could give being truly human a chance and live a normal life. Then he would show the others that there was no need to fear him again, he would prove it to them. "A new mission: accepted." He would not fail this one. Looking back at Duo, his gaze implored him once more.

Duo watched Heero turn to him once again, but this time, he knew how to phrase what he wanted to say, how he actually felt about Heero's sudden question. "I'm gonna have to agree, though somewhat sadly, to what Quatre just said. In the beginning, no offence, but when I first met you I thought you were crazy. Literally." Duo held his hands up as if to hold off Heero's comment, "and I wasn't really sure if I could trust ya. But now, I know I could trust you with everything I hold dear, I don't think you're crazy anymore, and I no longer have the need to fear you. Can you forgive me for my doubts good buddy?"

Shaking his head slightly, he let a smirk take place of his small smile, a feeling that was different and somewhat uncomfortable for the first few seconds, but he really didn't mind to smile any longer. "Of course, as long as I know that I still have friends. Now that I know what it's like to have a friend, I'd hate to go back to the life of solitude and cold, numbness that wasn't a life at all. I never want to go back to that. Can you ever find it within yourselves to consider forgiving me for my reckless and careless actions, and for ever giving you the reason to fear me?" His voice was somewhat hopeful, but he didn't expect much for it. He had given them no reason to forgive.

"Are you kidding? C'mon, you know me better than that! Of course I can, you're one of my five best buds! And as long as we're alive, you'll never have to go back to that life again. Ever." With a smile, Duo threw up his hands and let a huge smile cross his features, his normal cheeriness returned. "Anyway, you should be getting back to sleep man, we need to let Quatre get to sleep too. Sorry we gotta leave buddy, bu..." Looking back at Quatre, Duo knew his comment was too late. His friend didn't have the strength any longer to stay awake and had fallen to sleep once more. "Figures," he called softly with a grin on his face.

Heero realized that Quatre had fallen to sleep once again as well, and so he remained silent. Sleep was calling to him as well, its sweet voice coaxing him into slumber. But yet again, he feared himself the dream that would most likely return. One he never wanted to see again. Instinctively he jumped at the touch of a hand upon his shoulder, wheeling around to find a startled Duo looking back at him, his hand resting on air.

"Uh, sorry buddy. I didn't know you were gonna get so jumpy." Duo let his hand fall to his side, a sincere apology speaking from his lips as he watched Heero's alarmed expression.

Breathing somewhat heavier than normal, Heero continued to look at his friend. He was quite startled by the sudden touch, and he was sorry to have startled Duo as well, but he couldn't help it. His second nature of defense had him set on edge to fight, to retaliate to any actions made toward him. His natural fight or flight defense system was changed in his training as a child. There was no other option, it was always fight. But remembering that Duo was a friend, not some targeted enemy, kept him from replying to Duo's touch with violence of his own. "N...no, it's okay. I was just thinking, you just startled me, that's all." Duo looked somewhat taken aback, but for what Heero wasn't sure of, "It's fine, Duo. Really." His adrenaline rush slowing, he felt the growing call of sleep once more. His breathing returning to normal, he felt his energy plummet dramatically.

Duo took Heero's word, he should have known that after that dream or whatever it was that he would still be on edge. "You look like you're gonna pass out or something, c'mon you need to get some sleep." Showing his hands to Heero, he gently placed it on his shoulder once again to help steady his friend. It felt awkward, because Heero's eyes followed his movements with caution, but he didn't reject the help. Slowly, Duo led Heero back to the couch, though after they took the first few steps he had to practically carry his friend for his lack of strength. Setting him gently down upon the couch again, he bade his tired comrade to lay down and sleep.

Heero let Duo bring him back to the couch, but he refused to sleep. He could continue to for as long as he had the energy. He didn't want to, well, he did but wouldn't. Duo was just as tired as he, and Duo had been up longer. Plus, there was always the feeling of dread for seeing that dream again. He was trained not to feel fear, but after fighting beside his friends, he was feeling a lot of things he was trained not to. Hope, fear, compassion, protectiveness, mercy, love for his 'family' and Relena, pity, and so many others. And after what happened the night before, and the with the nightmare, he felt great fear of sleep.

"Look man, we don't need you gettin' sick either, just go to sleep. For once, please don't argue with me. I'm gonna be right here, and the guys are here as well. There's nothing to worry about, just please don't argue." Duo wearily looked down at this friend, pleading with him unlike what he'd do most times.

"Duo, I...." his sentence faded, his voice becoming a whisper.

"Heero, I'll be right here, now come on, please." Slowly, he began to lay his tired comrade back, and surprisingly without any argument or refusal. Gently taking the gray blanket in his hands, he covered Heero without much thought of it, looking into the face of his fearful, but grateful brother. Taking a seat on the edge of the couch, he remained by his side. "I'm going to stay with you till you fall to sleep. And I'm not going to leave this cabin, so I'll be right here if you need me. Just go to sleep Heero, it's okay. Just let yourself fall to sleep." Delicately, he let his hand rest upon his brother's arm in a comforting gesture, his eyes warmly urging him to give into the spell of dreamers.

Heero let his eyelids close, their weight too much to resist any longer. But still, he could not sleep, he couldn't let himself drift into a sweet slumber.

Remembering a little trick that had worked on him when he was little, Duo thought it worth a try. Heero wasn't getting to sleep and if he didn't, he would need medical attention and they were practically in the middle of nowhere. "Okay, let's try somethin'. I want you to just relax and use your imagination." If Heero wouldn't go to sleep on his own in the cabin, he'd mentally put him somewhere he felt comfortable and could. "You're on a warm, sandy beach, the ocean lapping up at the shore. It's a warm, spring evening, the cool breeze gently crossing over you with the slight smell of salt, its touch like that of silk. There are no disturbances, it's just you on the small, tropical island with the occasional exotic bird or the whale breaching in surface of the softly flowing waves of the ocean. You look out upon the horizon, seeing the wondrous sunset with its colo..."

Duo's voice faded into the background, his descriptions of the new scenery well worded and depicted. Heero felt as if he were truly there, at first everything was hazy, but now, with the detailed descriptions, he was seeing it clearly. He could feel every one of the waves sweep the sand, the cool breeze coursing over his body. Every one of the sounds were real, in his mind. The distant call of a wild bird, the gentle giants swimming to the surface, their spouts releasing a fountain of mist on the slightly disturbed water of the ocean. And it was wondrous, he felt a sense of peace at last. But still it wasn't enough to allow him to sink into a sleep of which he so longed for. And still the descriptions came, adding to the sweet paradise. He could see the sunset, it's vibrant oranges, yellows, and reds painting the sky around the bright neon sphere glowing on the horizon. The gentle coolness of the water sweeping around his feet as he walked along the sandy beach. Sitting against the roughened trunk of a palm, he watched the sunset alone, the breeze picking up once again. Every so often, he could his friend's voice, adding to the peaceful paradise.

"When behind you, stepping forth from the coaxing shadows of the forest, comes..."

It was Relena, her angelic form floating toward him, a smile portrayed upon her face. Mentally he spoke to her, letting a smile crease his features as well. "My Lord Relena. You are beautiful, and I care for you so." Things he normally wouldn't say, actions he normally wouldn't let himself do, he did in the dream world. Taking the young maiden in his arms, he carried her with a gentle strength down toward the shore where the two sat in silence, listening to the ocean, being together at last. Heero could feel the young woman cuddle closer in his embrace as he held her, content at last with himself and life. And there they continued to sit, the moment seemingly frozen in time, and a bliss moment at that.

Duo sighed and rose, finally having gotten his young friend to fall to sleep. He hadn't been able to do that since he was a kid, and always it was he who needed the imagination trick. But he was always with his friends, playing games, playing with the animals, just childish things. He wasn't really sure it would work, he was never really good at it. But now, Heero slept and he was grateful for it.

Heading for the fridge, he opened it to find it near empty except for a couple of gallons of purified water. "What? You've got to be kidding me." Shaking his head and sighing, he headed for the small pantry area. All he found was some canned fruit and other canned foods. "Now you know it can't get any better than this," he exclaimed softly, sarcasm dripping from his words. Rummaging through the cupboards, he found them to contain only the essential dishes, no food. "You know...." Taking a seat at the kitchen table once more, he laid his head upon his hands, they were miles from nowhere and they didn't have any food. They'd have to do something about that later this morning. The young American could already see the rays of the sun peeking out from over the horizon and just behind the clouds. "Man, this is going to be one long day." Heading over to the mantle, he took another log from the pile and tossed it into the dying fire, watching the fiery embers and ashes drift upward, drifting in the movement of the heat from the growing flames. A disturbance in the silence behind him made Duo turn wearily to face yet another one of his comrades waking. "Don't you guys ever stay asleep?" He watched Trowa sit up, yawning and stretching.

"What?"

"I just got Heero to go back to sleep, Quatre fell asleep again a few minutes ago, and now you're awake." Duo shook his head and heaved a sigh, his body drained of energy.

"Get some sleep Duo, I'm rested. Besides, I just couldn't sleep any more." Trowa stood from the small pullout bed, curious as to how he got from the floor to there, but didn't mind much. He wasn't one who could sleep for more than about eight or nine hours, so you could say he was one who rose with the sun.

"You sure?" Duo didn't really feel like arguing any longer and the pull of sleep was just too great to ignore.

"Ya, go ahead. I can get it from here. Anything I should know about?" He tossed his blanket to Duo and offered him the pullout bed, smiling slightly as he watched his friend trudge over to it.

"Uh, Heero did have a bit of trouble sleepin', but he should be cool now. Quatre did wake up, coughing. He's getting a cold, so he won't be feelin' so hot. Everything else is cool, but we're gonna have to do something about the food supply." Sitting down on the mattress, he yawned, then continued, "we've got some canned junk in the pantry, and a couple of bottles of water in the fridge, but other than that we're cleaned out."

"Okay, just lay down and get some sleep. You look like a walking zombie." Standing before Duo, he watched his friend fall onto the bed, asleep before his head hit the mattress. Decently covering his comrade, he walked over to the fire and sat before it, thinking quietly as he gazed into the mesmerizing flames. A lot of things were on his mind, but mostly what to do about the food and keeping Quatre healthy so he didn't come down with anything more serious than a cold. Pulling his knees up to his chest, he pushed these somewhat troubling thoughts to the back of his mind and began to remember the familiar circus, his sister, and his circus family. Anything would do to take his mind off of the needless war, for it was taking its toll on everyone, even him.



-Lady Stardancer

Author's Note:

Hey all, thanks for reading. Well, like I said, you wanted a sequel, you got one!^_^ Hope you like this, I'm typing as fast as I can to produce as much as possible, especially since my mom's trying to make me cut back on computer time. Sorry. I'm working as fast as possible. I hope you enjoy this, and due to great reviews and help from you and my friends, I've got a hopefully good sequel in store for you. *smiles* Guess that kinda depends on you. Well, enjoy! *_* I'm enjoying writing, hope you enjoy reading. Look for the next chapters!