Disclaimer: OK well it's the same as before…we STILL do NOT own any of the characters in the Labyrinth (like we'd want to…yeesh)

Author's Note: OK so if you haven't guessed by now who the mouthy blonde is then….OK isn't it obvious? ITS SARAH! S..A..R..A..H! …honestly….

CHAPTER 5: Bowie's Death is like his career…He just keeps coming back

Sarah opened her eyes to find herself in a dream-like ballroom. "Ohhhh Noooo… I'm NOT doing this..." Then she glanced down at her attire. "WHAT AM I WEARING? A dress? I don't DO dresses!" It was not only a dress, it looked like something that came out of Bowie's closet! Sarah quickly ripped off the dress, in horror of the ugliness, and was disappointed to find that underneath the ugly dress, there was an even uglier dress of lime green. She continued to rip off the dresses, only to find MORE layers of dresses. The more she ripped off, the uglier they got. Finally figuring out that it was frivolous to continue, she crossed her arms over her chest and yelled, "THIS SUCKS!"

Then all of a sudden, the crowd in front of her started to part. Protruding from the parting crowd was her nemesis, Jareth. "OH CRAP! Wake up Sarah, WAKE UP!" She started bashing her head against the wall saying, "OW!….OW!….OWWWW! GOD DAMN IT!" She said as she finally knocked some sense into herself and stopped. By then Jareth had reached the bruised and broken Sarah. A strange feeling came over her, sort of like a dream, and she started to dance with the Goblin King. Only five seconds into the dance, Sarah snapped out of it. Now don't get us wrong…she's not smart, she's just not stupid enough to dance with a drag queen. She did the only thing she could think of…She punched him in the face and ran like hell. As she was running she heard, "Wait, come back to me Mouthy Blonde!" She turned around and said, while flipping him off, "STOP CALLING ME THAT!"

He caught up to her quite quickly and grabbed her arm. She picked up a chair that was beside her and smashed it across his face like a good Jerry Springer episode. She began falling and woke up to find Jen and Allison laughing at the fact that she sleeps with her mouth open and the drool running down the corner of her mouth. She wasn't drooling over Bowie, of course. She was DROOLING because she sleeps with her mouth open OK? Sarah- Really, I do! Allison- So do I, Jen do you? Jen- No you guys are freaks…back to the STORY…. Sarah sat up "Gahhhhhhhh!" She began rolling on the ground in disgust flailing her arms and wiping her hands on Allison's shirt.

"What are you DOING Sarah? What did you touch?"

"Bowie! I touched him!" Allison started freaking out at these words and she ran into a clump of bushes and came out with a new shirt on saying 'Bounty Hunters' on the front and 'Call 1-800-THE-HUNT' on the back. Sarah told them all about the dream.

"Hmm…Well I've read about poisoned fruits in one of my books, but no one's actually seen what happens when you eat one. I think I shall conduct a scientific experiment to analyze the chemical makeup of this peach."

"No Jen! Don't DO IT! It's suicide! If you see what I saw gouge out your eyeballs with a butter knife!"

"Sarah…ARE YOU INSANE? Jen, don't use a butter knife use my dagger!"

"Uhn… No….thaaaaanks….Sarah, just give me the peach!" At that Sarah held the peach up above her head, where she believed Jen could not reach. All of a sudden she looked up to see that the peach was gone, and Jen was lying on the ground, with the peach in her hand, unconscious.

After 5 minutes of Jen experiencing the same dream as Sarah, she woke up and said, "Sarah…I will never doubt you again." Sarah highly doubted that, she knew Jen would doubt her in future cases as well. Sarah- You all think I'm dumb, but who was right this time? Huh? HUH? Allison- Shut up Sarah! Sarah- I've had my moment…

Allison grabbed the peach from Jen's hand, shaking it in anger, "There is NOTHING wrong with…this…PEACH! I'll prove it!" She quickly took a bite and passed out. A few minutes later Allison was gone. She had run away as soon as she had regained consciousness, because she was so horrified that she had actually TOUCHED Bowie (a.k.a. Jareth). Sarah picked up the poisoned peach in anger. She hurled it, as far as she could, into the forest. A distant "OW" was heard.

"OH MY GOD, Sarah! You hit someone! We had better make sure they are OK!" So they took off at a run to find the possibly injured person, whoever it was. After walking a couple minutes (because they can't run for THAT long) they found Jareth holding a large bump on his head in pain. "Are you O…uhhh never mind its just YOU." Jen said in disgust.

"You're time is almost up." Jareth explained.

"Oh yeah? And so are the minutes of your life you rat bastard!" Just then Allison popped out of the bushes wearing an army camouflage suit, black paint across her cheeks, a helmet with a pot of flowers on it and holding a couple branches in each hand.

"Let's KILL this bastard!"

"Hey you guys I just remembered something that I read in one of my books. Sarah do what I tell you."

"Hey! I take orders from no one! But…OK!"

"OK, step 1. Walk up to (insert fairytale enemy here) um…I mean Jareth!" Sarah walked up to Jareth, who, for some reason, had a smirk on his overly made-up face.

"Step 2. Extend hand, palm up, in front of your face just below your lower lip."

"OK!" Sarah did as instructed.

"Step 3. BLOW!" And Sarah blew. All of a sudden Jareth disappeared in a cloud of smoke while screaming bloody murder. "OH SHIT JEN, that was good!"

"Can we go home now?" Asked Allison.

"Well how are we GOING to get home?" exclaimed Jen.

"Well lets just go back up to that hill that we started on, and see if there's a portal leading to some unknown place…I don't know…anywhere but here, let's just go!" Said Sarah quickly.

After hours and hours of walking, they finally made it back up to the hill. They were dirty and sweating, and Allison looked as though she had just won a wet-shirt contest. After they had rested a while they noticed that Allison was not among them anymore. "Oh god Jen, where did she go THIS time?" Then from a distance they heard…

"Guuuyys? I think you had better get over here."

"Now what does Allison want?"

"I dunno Sar, but we had better go see." So the two walked towards the sound of Allison's voice. There, leaning against a tree was……WHAT? HE'S BACK!….!…….?…….AHHHH!

Author's Note: There will be more next week, and we're sorry that the chapters are so short. If you don't like the story screw you……but then again if you didn't like the story, you wouldn't be on the 5th chapter, would you?