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Author's Note: (music starts)Dah dah dah dah dah dah…Welcome to Duloc such a perfect town, here we have some rules let us lay them down. Please be kind, stay in line and we'll get along fine. Duloc is a perfect plaaace. Please stay off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your………..FACE! Duloc is…Duloc is…Duloc is a peeeeerrrrrr….feeeeect PLAAAACE! flash from camera
Dear ElfieTree: Yes, yes we DID get that from the Simpsons…
OK this chapter's aboot (that's right! ABOOT!) Jen and Allison trying to find Sarah. Muahaha…hope you enjoy! . We're pumping ourselves full of coca cola so we should be funny enough…..If it's not as funny as the last ones SCREW YOU! . now….LET'S BEGIN!
CHAPTER 7—You've travelled far, you've grown tired and weary—The Musical
Last time we left off, Sarah had disappeared along with everyone's favourite drag queen, Daaaavid Bowwwie….I mean… "Jareth".
Jen and Allison stood on the now deserted hill, looking down to the labyrinth. All of a sudden Jen broke out into a patriotic speech. Allison—shudder patriotic…. She raised her left hand and said; "Right! Our friend needs our help! And what are we going to do about it?…"
Allison interrupted saying; "Uhhh…ummm…errr…Go home to bed?"
"Precisely!…Wait…NO…I mean….ALLISON!"
"What?"
"Ahhhhhh! Ok…now on with my speech…We're going to HELP our friend. We're going to SAVE our friend…And we're going to SMASH Jareth with the hammer of justice, and bring peace to all the little hobbits in the world!"
"Jen…you're getting off topic again…hobbits?"
"starts sniggering hehe… The cute little hobbits, with their cute little hobbit key chains, where they hold their little hobbit keys, which open their little hobbit doors…"
"You know I love hobbits Jen, but that's a little too off topic…"
"Awwww….Ok….All who have evil within their hearts will be SMASHED by the justice loving people of the world…Such as I! ME! JENNIFER!
(Barry White starts to sing)
"Who's the girl with all the brains?"
"…..JEN!"
"Damn right." disco dancers and lounge singers with Afros come onto the hill out of nowhere. Jen starts to disco dance in a sparkly white cocktail dress (how she managed that one, we know not) "Who's the girl who knows it all?"
"…..JEN!"
"Ya dig?…… She's a complicated girl, and no one understands her but her hobbit."
"Jenniferrrrr….."
"Who's the girl who ya know is better than the rest?"
"….JEN!"
Jen says: "That's MEEEE!" (music stops, Jen points both thumbs to her chest, spotlight focused on her)
"Jen I hate to interrupt your little self-obsession episode, but I hate to tell you that that was SO a Sarah-freak-out-thing. In other words, Jen, you just pulled a Sarah."
Jen gasped and desperately fell to her knees. "NOOOOOOOO!"
Meanwhile back at the castle Sarah hears a distant scream. "Whoa, sounds like Jen just pulled a Sarah."
"Ok…well now that that's over, can we PLEASE continue?"
"LET'S GO!" Jen yells as she skips merrily into the labyrinth. Allison follows behind dragging her feet along the ground.
As they were walking through the Labyrinth they came across some huge maze hedges, Allison came up with a brilliant idea….
(They broke into song which goes to the Brady Bunch music) "Let's use this chain saw."
"To cut these hedges."
"I'm sure Jareth will never find out anyway."
"And if does, well theeenn screw him."
"Because he's just gay.."
"And that's how we became Misfortune's Buuunch!" The music ended just as suddenly as it had started. "Well… That was amusing" Exclaimed Jen in a smile because Allison actually sang.
"Hey we cut down the hedges while we were singing!"
"Good one Al!"
"Oh and you'll NEVER, EVER tell Sarah that I just sang….through gritted teeth Riiight…JEN?"
"No!" Said Jen quickly, though her fingers were crossed behind her back. "Let's just keep going shall we?"
Back at the castle…. "HEY! I heard that Allison!"
They started to walk through the path that they clove through the tall hedges. Surprisingly it headed straight towards the castle. All of a sudden Jareth popped out of nowhere and said, "Well hello girls! Allison, you're looking just as ravishing as ever…"
"Take that BACK BASTARD!"
"And you Jennifer…How you doooaaain?" (We all know Joey from FRIENDS don't we?)
"I feel dirty."
"I feel dirty too….wink wink"
"AHHH! MY VIRGIN EARS!" Jen yelled as she started to run in circles screaming.
"Ok bastard…WHAT DO YOU WANNNNT?" Allison asked.
"I just came to tell you that after you LOSE (leans closer and whispers in Allison's ear) I want you to come to THIS hotel room." Jareth hands Allison a room key. The key was really small.
Jen stopped running around in circles and yelled; "Hey Allison! Where do you think you're gonna fit a key that big?"
"Bend over and I'll show you!"
"You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that Kwok! (Allison's last name)"
"I wasn't talking to YOU!" Awkward silence and strange looks follow… "…oh god…" Allison all of a sudden gets an idea. "Jareth! I have something to tell you."
"Yeees?" Jareth said trying to sound seductive….but not succeeding.
"Wellll…(Allison starts mumbling incomprehensible words)"
"What! Speak LOUDER!" Jareth moves his ear closer to Allison. Allison keeps mumbling. Jareth comes even closer…
"IN. YOUR. CRYSTALINE. DREAMS!" Allison yelled as loud as she could…which might I add, is really loud. He pulled back, gave her an angry look and disappeared.
Allison smiled and unknowingly broke into her version of "Ding, Dong, the Witch is Dead" from The Wizard of Oz. Allison pulled out a toy microphone and sang:
"Ding, Dong, the Queer is gone! Which old Queer?"
"The NASTY Queer" Jen jumped in.
"Ding, Dong, the drag queen Queer is gooone. Down where the Goblins go, right here, right here, right here. That Queeeer! Let's open up and sing and ring the bells…"
"GONGS!" Sang Jen as she struck a gong.
"Hey-ho the merri-o, Sing it…"
"HIGH!"
"Sing it…"
"LOW!"
"Let them know the drag queen Queer is gooooooonnnnne!" The music stopped and Allison realized what she had just done.
"Ohohoho….Allison was singing, Allison was singing." Jen taunted in a sing- song voice.
Allison shook her head in shame and looking at the sundial exclaimed, "Only 2 hours left. WE had better get to the castle!"
"Yes. We must save Sarah, save the Labyrinth and save the WORLD!"
"What? When did we have to save all that? I thought we were just rescuing Sarah!"
"Oh….yeah….Well FOLLOW ME TO OUR DESTINY!"
"Um….Ooookkkay?"
Soon they had reached the gates to the Goblin city. They weren't noticed as they walked through the city towards the castle because of Allison's trusty camouflage outfits. Allison's hand was on the door knob ready to open to door.
Meanwhile on the other side of the doors, Sarah was saying, (like she was in the last chapter) "Well then, Behind THIS big fluorescent, flashing door…LIES…OUR…FREEDOM!" Cheers erupted from the Goblins and following Sarah they crashed through the doors with excited yells of "FREEDOM!" And "LONG LIVE THE UNION!"
Allison and Jen were trampled by the emerging Goblins. When they had finally picked themselves up and brushed themselves off they looked at Sarah and took in her attire. They both started laughing so hard that they ended up on the floor.
"If you are quite finished!" Yelled Sarah, pointing at the now wide open doors. "Turn your heads towards me! I DON'T CARE IF THAT WAS PUSH OR PULL! I GOT THOSE DOORS OPEN AND THAT'S WHAT COUNTS!….aaaannnd SCENE!"
Author's Note: Well, THAT was a musical chapter! Sorry it took so long, but we weren't feeling funny last week so we had to make up for it by making the chapter long, and musical. As always, R/R! Hope you liked it!
