Author's Note: And here they are...our Bowie moments! This has been going on ALL year, since before we even started this fic. Some of them don't have anything to do with Bowie, but some of them have to do with the Labyrinth, so we put them in anyways. So much has happened that we decided to write them down. And here they are... P.S. After reading this you'll understand WHY we fear him...

Disclaimer: We don't own David Bowie, and we don't want to. Infact, if we DID own him, we'd give him away! Or sell him! Or...you know, throw him off a cliff.

Reasons to fear Bowie---aka. Bowie Moments

The Labyrinth-pretty self-explanatory

The girl's name is Sarah. shudder

Bowie wrote a song called "Sarah"

Jen's step-mom liked Bowie.

Jen's step-mom thought Bowie was "good-looking"...shudder

Jen's step-mom thought Bowie was a good singer.

Sarah's mom thinks (present tense) Bowie is "cute". We can't believe it!

Sarah's mom thinks, once again (present tense), that Bowie is a good singer. We can't believe Sarah is her spawn

Bowie is in Zoolander and when Jen and Allison went to go see it, they didn't notice because they were in a trance from Bowie. We figure that this is when it all began. This is when he started harassing us.

When Sarah saw Zoolander, nobody warned her that Bowie was in it, he just popped out of nowhere.

When Jen was watching "Iron Chef, American Version" the commentators said about one chef, "Actually, David Bowie ate in this chef's restaurant. And in fact, proposed to his wife there too."

When Sarah was channel surfing, she came across channel 36, which was showing "Top 80 of the 80's". All she saw was BOWIE, singing with a biiiiiiggggg close-up of his face. It was like click ahhhhh! click sigh of relief

When Allison was at the airport terminal, she saw people reading the following books: "The Biography of David Bowie", "Defiant Goblins", "Defiant Teenagers", "The Labyrinth". This is all very scary...We are being stalked by David Bowie...wow...we're frightened...Someday...Somehow...Someway...We'll get by...

When Sarah was in History class, a T.V. was in the room, but her teacher wasn't. Then Mr. Coram came into her class looking for something. That's when her teacher walked in, and Coram asked her, "You didn't by any chance find a tape in the VCR?" Her teacher then said, "No, but you should check with Bowie." Coram said, "Who?" Her teacher said, "Bowie." Sarah swears that her teacher clearly said "Bowie"...who knows...

One day, at lunch, Sarah asked her friends at school, "Is anyone else scared crapless by David Bowie?" Jennifer Stevenson then said, "Oh yeah, he was creepy in the Labyrinth!" And then, the two got into a conversation where Sarah told her about the three of us hating Bowie.

One of Sarah's friends at school, Tory, LIKES the Labyrinth...

Tory, and Sarah's friends, said that they saw The Labyrinth on T.V. all the time when they were kids.

Amanda, Sarah's friend, said to her one day. "Sarah, you should have seen this guy I saw when I was on the bus with my dad. He was wearing tight leather pants, a white puffy shirt, and had long bleach-spiky-blonde hair." This naturally, scared the crap out of Sarah and she asked, "Was he wearing make-up? Like eyeshadow?" Amanda said that she didn't know and she couldn't remember.

Tory forced Sarah to bring the Labyrinth over to a sleep over.

This girl at Allison's school, loves David Bowie. She "thinks he's hot" and has pictures of him in her locker and in her room.

For an example in class, Allison's teacher used "Jareth told the man not to defy him." Allison got scared and asked how he knew about the Labyrinth. He said that his niece made him watch it and that he hated it and couldn't think of any other sentence.

There is a section for the Labyrinth on is kinda obvious since we're posting this in it...

There are A LOT of Labyrinth websites.

There was a Labyrinth video game for Nintendo. Sarah grew up with Nintendo, she trusts it, it is her friend...now she's not so sure.

When Allison was at a brunch, he waiter had a Bowie hair-do like in the Labyrinth.

Bowie now stars in a new commercial for a radio station.

When Sarah was walking home from her friend Amy's, and passed the Jubilee United Church, on the board outside it said, "Happy Easter...etc.etc.- Saturday-Labyrinth-7 pm" What does THAT have to do with anything, ANYTHING!"

Amy was sitting watching TV at home, and thinking about how Sarah told her all the scary things that have been happening. "Yeah right, David Bowie! Sarah's stupid, David Bowie isn't stalking her." Just then, her mom changed the channel to figure skating. The person was skating to a Bowie song.

Sarah was watching "The Wedding Singer", and Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore were in a club, and then David Bowie's music came on and Drew Barrymore kept saying, "I love David Bowie. He is so sexy."...ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...I can't believe I just typed those words...and THEN they started singing the song.

The Labyrinth section on has surpassed 1000!What will become of the world? When will our children get lives? Damn you Salizar!

On Tuesday, April 9th, 2002, Sarah was in music class (the keyboard room) She looked across the room on a poster and saw some guy. It looked like this guy, Mark Walberg, so she looked at the name to find out who it was. She didn't have her glasses on but somehow she could see VERY clearly. She saw that the last name printed there didn't take up enough space to say Walberg. She looked closely and wasn't sure if it said Bowie but it looked like it. Already she started to freak out, so she casually got up and walked to the poster, and started hyper-ventilating in shock. She flipped out. Plus it "80's Bowie" which is the worst kind. The poster said, "David Bowie promotes American Libraries" Of course that is SOOO relevant to us, since we live in CANADA! And for some reason he was in his bare feet.

Allison's friend Ashley, was saying in class, "Have you ever heard of the movie, The Labyrinth?" Allison's other friend started freaking out and said, "The movie! With that guy!" With a high-pitched, scared, freaked- out tone. Ashley then said, "Don't you LOVE that movie? With David Bowie?" Allison's other friend started freaking out again and was speechless. She managed to get out "Tight, white PANTS!" Ashley said, "Don't you LOVE them?" The other friend said, "How can you like that movie?"

Jen was watching Rosie O'Donnell and all she heard was people saying "Did you see the one with David Bowie? That was so good."

There is a Labyrinth soundtrack.

Sarah was in the car with her dad and a Bowie song came on the radio.

Jen said that Bowie was on the radio one morning (keep in mind that we might stop listing the times he's on the radio because he's always bound to be on the radio isn't he?)

Amy called Sarah to tell her that Bowie was on channel 36 again. But this time, it was on a biography show on some guy from the 70's and Bowie was his friend and also sang with him.

Allison was watching "Alf" and for a guest appearance was...Bowie..he was supposed to be the boyfriend of a 16 year old girl...he was supposed to be an 18 year old guy. She may have been 13 (this might not have been Bowie, but it looked like him. Very much so.)

Allison was at school and they were having a trivia question period. The category that the teacher was using was "Name the movie". The question was "What was the movie starring Jim Henson's creations with David Bowie?" Allison was shocked and THEN the teacher randomly picked her. She said the answer through gritted teeth and the teacher asked her to repeat it. She did and was asked to repeat it AGAIN. Eventually, the teacher heard her and said "Very good! Point to you!"

Allison downloaded an ORLANDO BLOOM video with him in an interview. The host asked what song he sang in a karaoke bar and Orli said "Uh, what was it? Oh, it was that Bowie, that Bowie song."

Bowie is coming to Toronto...We live there.

Sarah was watching "The Loop" on channel 36 and it was about Sheryl Crow doing a free concert in New York and David Bowie was with her.

Biography of David Bowie on channel 36.

THIS one was what we like to call a DOUBLE BOWIE MOMENT. It was early in the morning and Bowie was performing on Good Morning America. Some tribute crap. THEN they showed this thing with a bunch of clips from over the years and in one clip he was...it's just...too terrible...he was...practically NAKED!...AAAAAGH! SARAH'S BEEN CORUPTED!

Bowie on a fashion television show hosting. All Sarah heard him say was "A quiet revolution in fashion." ACTUALLY he SANG IT..freaky...

New Bowie album out.

Sarah was at the grocery store with her mom and the store was selling old CDs. One of Bowie's was there.

Sarah was at Amy's house and Amy shoved a picture of Bowie from a magazine in her face.

Sarah's mom had the newspaper and told her to look. It her a while, but she saw BOWIE at the bottom right corner of the page.

David Bowie live show in like Vegas or something on channel 31.

We found out there is a Bowie on "A Knight's Tale" I think. Pretty sure..and Jen LIKES that movie. Sarah just broke the news to her.

Adam Sandler singing to a Bowie song on his new movie "Mr. Deeds." This is the second time.

Sarah saw some girl on T.V. with a sign that said "I named my dog Jareth". It was at the Bowie performance on Good Morning America. Big pictures of Bowie as Jareth on the sign.

Another Labyrinth thing on the front church sign.

Saw a documentary on Mazes and Labyrinths on T.V. Probably channel 32, 34, 31, or 42, or something.

They showed that thing with Sheryl Crow with Bowie again. In fact, they showed it a few times.

Sarah asked Mr. Usprech if David Bowie scares him. He said "Yes, David Bowie scares me a great deal." She asked Mr. Gelbloom and he said "No. Mabye he's an insider...

Sarah's other friend Amanda called. She was at Tory's and said that they just watched a David Bowie movie produced by a...Mr. Yoshida...There's a teacher at Sarah's school named Mr. Yoshida that scares the crap outta her..

David Bowie was in Allison's Teen People or People magazine book on best stars. Hee hee heeeee...his real name is David Hayward Robert Jones...hee hee heee...stupid name...hee hee heeeee...

Sarah was at Rent-A-Flick with her friend Dan and he shoved the Labryinth case in her face..

Now THIS one's terrible. Sarah's bought these cool EXPENSIVE Faerie cards (like a Tarot deck). But when she got home, she was like "Gee, these drawings look familiar." She looked on the back of the box and it said "Brian Froud is the conceptual designer for Jim Henson films such as The Dark Crystal and The Labyrinth. THEY TRICKED HER! HOW DARE THEY DO THIS TO HER! STUPID FROUD FAMILY! She literally dropped to her knees in desperation and screamed "NOOOOOOOO!"

Sarah went to the Froud's website. There is something called the Labyrinth on Jareth Masquerade going on in California. It happens every year. There is also a picture of the advertising poster. It had a scary picture of Jareth in some girl or someone...maybe it was Labyrinth girl...but it was scary cuz it was a drawing and not real people...ughguhuhgh... One day Sarah, Jen and Allison will go there and crash the party.

There was a newspaper on the side of the picnic table when Jen was camping, and she was going to go look at it to read it, and on the front page was a big picture of Bowie and she couldn't believe it so she was like "No, that's not Bowie." And she looked down and in big letters it said DAVID BOWIE!

Allison was in the car with her family and had to choose between country music and oldies. She changed it to oldies, and she heard "3 FULL hours of DAVID BOWIE!" She quickly turned off the radio.

Sarah's friend Christine called into the request line for music videos and said "Hi! This is Christine and my friend Sarah is the BIGGEST David Bowie fan! (not true) So would you please play anything by David Bowie! Sarah screamed when she heard this happened.

Sarah was watching channel 36 and a survey came up that said "Whose music to you prefer?" and David Bowie was the most popular. Then it showed him talking. This was the moment in history when Sarah finally was fed up and she yelled "AW COME ON!"

Amy saw a movie about David Bowie's life with an actor that represented him. And our darling Ewan McGregor played his lover and it had some fairly explicit scenes. "Velvet Goldmine" is what it was called.

Allison's friend Caroline was reading a book and there was a math equation or something similar that involved Bowie.

A/N: AND THAT'S IT FOR NOW! YES THOSE ARE A LOT OF WEIRD BOWIE MOMENTS! REVIEW PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!