"The Jungle Chapter 2"

by "Cadet Deming"

I don't own the rights to GIJOE, Hasbro, Devil's Due, and Sunbow do, so please don't sue. Rated PG-13.

Dr. Mindbender, Cobra's Director of Science, held a small white laboratory mouse in his gloved hands. He was speaking to it in the strange cooing tones people only use around babies and pets.

"Aren't you a stupid little mouse? You're such a stupid furry rodent and you have no idea I'm going to cut you up and dissect you. Oh no you don't. Oh no you don't," he purred to it.

"Doctor, you really need," said a tall, younger man behind him.

"To get out of the lab more often," finished the younger man's twin, identical to his brother in every way except for a scar that marred the right side of his face.

Mindbender quickly turned around to face the two brothers.

"I....was just..well, I'm so used to doing experiments on human test subjects that old habits like talking to my victims..die hard," he said as he quickly put the animal back in its cage.

"And do you tell your human subjects," said Tomax, the first twin.

"That they're furry little mice you're going to dissect," finished his brother Xamot mockingly.

"Must I remind you Crimson Guard Commanders that I'm the second in command of Cobra under the Emperor Serpentor? You should treat me with more deference," said the Doctor.

"Must we remind you," said Tomax.

"That our corporation Extensive Enterprises," said Xamot.

"Is financing your project," the twins both finished.

"And you'll earn back your investment a million times over, once my experiments are complete!" said Mindbender.

"I hope your experiments", said Tomax.

"Are completed soon," said Xamot.

"A televiper intercepted a message," said Tomax.

"From a GIJOE Tomahawk Helicopter that landed in an abandoned airfield last night," said Xamot.

"GIJOE is in the area," the brothers said with contempt creeping into their voices.

"What the Bloody Blue Blazes! Not now! Not when I'm so close!," the scientist's manner changed from his usual mode of manic neurotic energy into something quickly approaching psychotic.

"If it's reassuring, we've only seen evidence," said Tomax.

"Of one JOE Tomahawk," said his brother.

"But we've seen the damage that even one Joe can inflict on us! This sounds like a spy operation! We cannot let the Joes find out what we're doing!" the Doctor shouted.

"An understatement, dear doctor," said Tomax.

"What do you propose", asked Xamot.

"I order you to find the Joes and bring them to me. Dead or alive. Preferably dead, although I can always use a few new test subjects. It's so hard to find healthy volunteers these days," Mindbender said.

"Are you going to say," said Tomax.

"This I Command, now" asked his twin.

"That's Serpentor's catchphrase. Mine is Excellent" said the Doctor.

"Well, anything is better than," said Tomax.

"Cobra Commander's infamous," said Xamot.

"RETREAT! RETREAT" the twins chimed as they left the room laughing.

Dr. Mindbender cautiously looked to the left and then the right. He opened a cage and pulled out a hamster.

"Aren't you a stupid DOOMED little vermin? Yes you are ..YESSS you are", he cooed to it.



Flint, Lady Jaye, Roadblock, and Recondo drove down a bumpy dirt road in Burugundi. Recondo, the team's jungle specialist, drove the rusty jeep that he had commandeered for the group. The Joes were all disguised in native clothes, although they were fully armed.

"Could you slow down for a moment Recondo? I'm still sore from those immunization shots that Lifeline and Doc made us take." Said Flint.

Lady Jaye joked, "So what you're saying is, your ass is still sore from last night. Now there's a statement that could be easily misinterpreted in so many ways," she blushed.

"Well, it's not my fault Doc no longer believes in giving soldiers shots in the arm anymore," said Flint.

"If needles make you nervous Flint, look on the bright side. No blood bank will ever ask any of us to donate once they see we've spent 5 minutes in Burugundi. We're 70 miles from the place people think AIDS got started," said Recondo.

"You really know how to cheer a guy up Recondo. And as far as the US government is concerned, none of us are here. We can't even contact the US Embassy, because it was bombed 2 years ago. And could you... just ..slow..down " said Flint, wincing as the jeep hit several bumps in the road.

"I'm just trying to get us as far down the truck route as possible before night falls. That's when all the rogue Burugundi soldiers and thieves come out to play. Not to mention the jungle's animal predators," said Recondo as he pulled the jeep over to the side.

"We're not safe here during the day. That's when Cobra gets its way," said Roadblock, the team's burly heavy artillery operator. He carried the team's rocket launcher, and could make Ving Rhames look cuddly.

At that moment, a group of 4 men in Cobra's bright red Crimson Guard uniforms road by on 3-wheeled off-road "Cobra Ferrets". Lady Jaye and the other Joes all instinctively covered themselves up further in their native disguises.

"Tail them.discreetly of course," said Flint.

Recondo carefully pulled behind a truck following the path of the Crimson Guard "Siegies".

"It makes me sick, seeing Cobra prancing around in broad daylight, while we have to hide like we're the criminals," said Flint.

"The rules are different in Burugundi, Flint. Cobra is on friendly terms with the Prime Minister Mogashu Modembi. The U.S. is seen as a corrupt fat cat empire here." said Lady Jaye.

The Siegies pulled up to a rickety-looking building. They got off their Ferrets, and one knocked on the door. A sickly old woman opened it, and she had what appeared to be a heated conversation with the men.

Recondo traveled farther down the road. Once they were out of sight of the house, he pulled into a small clearing hidden off the side of the road.

"Sorry, but this is the closest I could park without making them suspicious", said Recondo.

"It's good enough. Lady Jaye, see if you can get closer and see what they're up to. Try to plant this tracer so we can track them from a safer distance," said Flint , handing Jaye a small amplifying recording device, and a tracking signal.

Lady Jaye carefully crawled through the dense underbrush of the jungle. She quietly placed the tracking device on the nearest Ferret, and used the amplifying device to eavesdrop on the Cobra officer's conversation. It did her no good, because everyone was speaking in fluent Burugundi. She returned to the other Joes.

"Did you pick up anything when you planted the tracking device?" Flint asked Lady Jaye.

"Not really. The whole conversation was in Burugundi except.something just occurred to me," said Jaye frowning.

"And that would be?" asked Flint.

"Well, I observed an old woman speaking in fluent Burugundi with 4 Cobra agents. Linguistically, Burugundi is a very difficult dialect to learn. It's not European Romance Language, and it's not simple like African Swahili, "said Lady Jaye.

"So maybe Cobra's got a Berlitz Academy for 3rd world country grammar," said Roadblock.

"Or maybe, Cobra's been here a lot longer and has more invested than we thought," said Lady Jaye.

"I'm beginning to think we need more than 4 operatives, " said Flint, as he opened a small screen with a blinking light on it.

"Looks like they're moving again. We'll wait for them to pass and then we'll follow as close as possible without being in hearing distance," said Flint.

"Hey, it's not my fault the only car I could hot-wire didn't come with a muffler," said Recondo.

"Hot-wire? You STOLE it? We shouldn't be breaking the law here." said Lady Jaye.

"What did you think I did? Take out a 5 year loan with a Lexus dealer? Besides, things get stolen all the time here. It's the law of the jungle, baby" said Recondo.

"These people are poverty stricken enough! You could have taken someone's livelihood," said Jaye angrily.

"I didn't steal it, I borrowed it," said Recondo.

"Look, next time I'll ask where the transportation materializes from, but we've got a job to do. Would you rather we walked?" asked Flint.

"When you put it that way, no," conceded Lady Jaye.

Recondo started the jeep and they drove for several miles. Flint looked down at the screen in his hand.

"They've changed direction off of the main road. Any way we can make a right and follow?" asked Flint.

Recondo slowed the jeep to a stop at the sight of the Ferret tracks' change in direction.

"No can do. They don't have to stick to the road since they're on 3- wheelers. This jeep can't follow," he sighed.

"So what do we do now?" asked Roadblock.

"To repeat Flint, would you rather walk?" asked Recondo.

He parked the car behind a copse of trees, and the Joes all started traveling on foot. Recondo slashed any vines in the thick underbrush ahead of them, as Flint tracked the signal on the screen. They eventually came to a large clearing and started to cross it.

"Wait a second, the signal just stopped", said Flint, frowning.

"No problem. I can still track their tire-marks the old-fashioned way," said Recondo.

"The signal is traceable for up to 50 miles. It wouldn't stop unless.somebody found it," said Flint, as he glanced worriedly towards the end of the clearing.

"Maybe we better get off this trail right now," said Roadblock.

The sound of an engine menaced in the distance. Suddenly, a group of 10 Siegies on Ferrets, led by Tomax and Xamot appeared on the horizon.

"CCOOOOOOOOOOO," shouted Tomax.

"BBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAA," screamed his brother, as the herd of Ferrets descended on the Joes firing lasers.