The Jungle Chapter 6

By: Cadet Deming

I don't own the rights to.you know the drill. PG-13. Adult language and violence. Chapters 1-6 are posted on Fanfiction.net. Reviews are very welcome. Thanks to the people that enjoy it.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S GONE?" said Flint, panic creeping out from under his usual macho bluster.

Recondo shuffled nervously," I just went into the room to bring Xamot breakfast and it was empty. He must have escaped while we were asleep."

"Flint, 1 of the 3-wheelers is missing, and Xamot must have disabled the others. They won't even start," said Roadblock.

"We have to evacuate immediately. The other Cobras could be here at any moment," said Flint, moving from "borderline panic" to "leadership mode".

The other Joes quickly gathered up their belongings and the communications center.

"Which way do we go now?" asked Roadblock.

"You know, I can track Xamot's Ferret. He probably went right back to the Cobra base," said Recondo.

"Yeah, but we're outgunned, outmanned, we still don't know what Cobra's main objective is, the enemy knows we're here, and Xamot and his brother are probably looking for payback," said Flint.

"Are you saying we should abandon this mission," asked Recondo.

"I think we need to regroup, but I'm not about to give up," Flint said.

"I contacted Intel headquarters last night. They can send in Snake-Eyes or Duke, but they can't promise they'll be here for another 24 hours," said Lady Jaye.

"Do they ALWAYS have to send in Snake-eyes or Duke? Doesn't Hawk think I can handle this on my own," said Flint, macho bluster returning.

"You know, Xamot was in such a hurry to leave last night, he left something important behind," said Lady Jaye as she reached into her pocket and pulled out...the plastic bag of drugs.

"Is that heroin man? Does that mean Xamot's gonna go into withdrawal and die?" Asked Roadblock hopefully.

"Actually, it's mostly sugar, trust me," said Jaye.

"So, if I made brownies with it......"asked Roadblock.

"Could we stop discussing the drugs my girlfriend has apparently been carrying around all night without telling me," said Flint, accusation in his voice.

Lady Jaye, volleyed back: "Or should we start discussing the prisoner that escaped that you tortured first? Or the car Recondo stole, or.."

"WOULD EVERYONE KNOCK IT OFF," shouted Roadblock. The nearby trees shook.

"We've all done some things on this trip that we ain't proud of man! But we've got to pull ourselves together. We need a plan," he finished.

"As I was saying earlier," Lady Jaye pulled out the metal ID card that she'd gotten from the escaped Crimson Guard Commander. "Xamot left without his maximum access security ID card. We can use this to infiltrate the Cobra compound and finally find out what they're up to," she said.

Flint took the card in his fingers. "I think we found their Achilles heel. OK here's the story. Recondo will track the Ferret while the rest of us stay out of sight. If Cobra sends out a large group to find us, they'll probably take that same road back to the farmhouse. Since there are so few of us, we might be able to slip past them. Then, we'll infiltrate the base with the card. Yo Joe," he said.

"YO JOE" the others shouted.

Meanwhile, back at the Cobra base:

Dr. Mindbender dressed Xamot's wounds as he lay on a medical cot. His twin Tomax sat by his side.

"So let me get this straight. You allowed yourself to be captured by the Joes so they would take you back to their hidden base, then you escaped from the base so your twin could find you 200 feet from the Cobra compound? How is that supposed to help us capture them if you ran away?" asked Dr. Mindbender.

"I..um...er.MY SHOULDER! MY SHOULDER! OW MY SHOULDER," moaned Xamot, clutching his right shoulder.

On cue, Tomax clutched his left shoulder. "MY BROTHER'S SHOULDER! MY BROTHER'S SHOULDER! OW MY..." he saw Xamot mouth the words "right shoulder" and switched his hand to clutch his own right side,".SHOULDER! OW MY BROTHER'S SHOULDER!"

Mindbender sighed and pulled out some more ointment, "So what exactly happened? Did you learn anything useful?" he asked.

"There's only 4 of them: Lady Jaye, Flint, Roadblock, Recondo, and Lady Jaye."

"Roadblock is going to be Roadkill," said Tomax.

"I don't see why you're complaining about your right shoulder. The worst lacerations are farther down below the right side of your rib cage. But more importantly...Have the Joes discovered my experiments?" asked the Doctor.

"They don't have a clue what we're doing. They even tortured me for 4 hours, but I didn't let them break me" said Xamot rather smugly.

Tomax said to his twin: "That was rather selfish of you. You could have just let them torture you for 4 minutes and I still could have located you without having to endure the agony as well".

"I'm sorry dear brother. It was rather selfish of me. Perhaps next time I'll plan to get captured by Al-Quaeda soldiers. I'm told they shoot on sight and then you wouldn't have felt any psychic pain," said Xamot sarcastically.

Tomax got angry and said, "Must you be such a.."

"Snotty, sarcastic, egomaniac," finished Xamot.

The twins looked at each other and exclaimed, "This is why we should never argue!" .

"They tortured you for only 4 hours BAH! My record is 72, and that's without the Brainwave Scanner!" Mindbender said haughtily, tweaking his mustache.

"And I'm sure you're," said Tomax.

"Very proud of yourself," said Xamot.

"Are you in the Guinness Book of World Records," the twins asked mockingly.

"Actually, I'm holding out for a Nobel Prize," said the Doctor.

"I thought they gave those out," said Tomax.

"For the PREVENTION of torture," finished his brother.

"When I get done here, they'll give me a prize for anything I want," Mindbender said.

"Whatever floats your boat," said Tomax and Xamot.

"How are our defenses? We should be on extra guard, now that we know the Joes are near," said the Doctor.

"No need to worry," said Xamot.

"I've already sent a platoon," said Tomax.

"Back to the farmhouse the Joes are camped out in," said Xamot.

"And the remaining men guarding this Cobra temple," said Tomax.

"Are the best of the best" chimed the twins.

Flash-Forward to a group of Siegies standing around lackadaisically:

"OK. I'll bet $50 that Dr. Mindbender is really gay, $75 says that Destro cheats on the Baroness before the Baroness cheats on Destro, and $5 says we win the next Siegie-Stratoviper basketball game," said Fred 323 to a Crimson guard "bookie".

"Hey, Fred 330, are you gonna bid, dude?" asked Fred 321.

Fred 330 looked up from his copy of "Heart of Darkness" by Joseph Conrad. "I'll bet $300 that Cobra Commander is really an alien," he said with withering sarcasm, and returned to his book.

"Dude, if you're not even gonna play," said Fred 321.

"Sorry if I have better things to do," said Fred 330.

"Like what, this place is so fuckin' boring," whined Fred 323.

"You could be fighting the Joes, for one thing," said Flint as he emerged from the shadows and punched the man with a right hook. Roadblock knocked 2 of the Siegies heads together, as Lady Jaye and Recondo kicked the remaining two.

"Dude, we give up! I mean Sir Dude," whimpered Fred 321.

"That was almost too easy," said Flint.

"Would you prefer they put up more of a fight," asked Lady Jaye.

"When you put it that way, no," said Flint. He turned to the captured Crimson Guardsmen and said, "OK, all of you, take off your uniforms and give them to us".

The Siegies stripped and the Joes changed into their uniforms.

"Hey! What a coincidence! They all fit," said Recondo.

"Yeah, even though these guys are all a foot shorter than me and Lady Jaye's a chick!" said Roadblock.

Flint put his hand in the pocket of the uniform he'd just put on. He said: "Hey, I've got something!". He pulled out..another plastic bag of drugs.

"What is it with these guys, man," asked Recondo.

Flint put his hand back in the pocket and pulled out another ID card. "Fred 345: Maximum Clearance," he read. "I guess we've got enough of these to go around! Let's go!

They put on the Crimson Guard protective masks to cover their faces, and left the Siegies tied up. The Joes continued until they reached the outside of the compound.

"Why do they always build these things to be so gaudy? You'd think a semi- secret criminal group would try to blend in with the scenery a little more" said Recondo, as the group stared up at the ostentatious Cobra "temple" encircled with red and gold Cobra heads.

"Maybe Cobra Commander, or Serpentor these days, is overcompensating for something," said Flint.

Lady Jaye pushed her maximum clearance card in its slot by the door, and the Joes entered.

"We'll cover more ground if we split up. We can keep in touch with our "comm-links". One of us has got to find out what they're up to," said Flint. Everyone split up and went down a separate path.

Lady Jaye walked quickly down a corridor. She heard strident footsteps behind her. She turned around and saw..Xamot.