Warnings: if you are in anyway 'repulsed' by the idea of an insert characted having
any association (especially a close relationship) with a character of Weiss,
please reconsider reading this fic, i'm sure you wouldn't like it. Mature topics? sorta....
1st person point of view, point of view of the original character. May be a bit
boring at first, but the later chapters might be faster paced and more 'exciting'.
Might be a bit OOC... but who knows what Youji is "really" like.....
Disclaimer: i don't own weiss Kreuz or any of it's characters.... i have nothing, i get nothing
material out of writting this.
please review........ but read all chapters before reviewing. i'll take any comments
for the improvement of this fic. this is actually almost done.... i just havent gotten
to typing it yet. if you want to read the comtinuation, bug me 'bout it.
Still………… twenty minutes later………. I had not come up with anything. All my
efforts were in vain. Something was wrong… missing. And the fact that my moist
hands were smudging everything I did, wasn't helping at all. I've made him play
dead, sit, lie down… even roll over… I've asked him to try to look somber, morose,
playful- and other easily produced expressions. Something was missing, but what?
I growled in frustration, put my charcoal down, then glared at him.
"Hmm?' Youji raised an eyebrow.
"This isn't working…" I monotoned.
"What seems to be the problem?' he sat up, and fortunately he had the
decency to cover his private part with my blanket. Hmph! MY blanket!
"The problem… the problem is that that I don't know what the problem is!
If I knew what it was, then I wouldn't be this irritated!" I babbled, "I can fix my
problems, but I can't do that since I don't know what's wrong!" and I babbled, " Like
I said, this isn't working out. There's something I'm overlooking. I can't put my figer
on it!" and I babbled some more, "You know, you might as well go home. I'm getting
nowhere fast…"
While I was ranting, he listened, and listened, and listened some more. He
didn't interrupt, he just listened and looked at me pensively. And when I finally
through, he smiled and said, "Why should I go home? You just figured out what the
problem is."
"Which is?"
"That's something's missing… and you can't put your finger on it."
"Yes but-"
It was then that he cut me off, "Yes, period. No but. It's just a matter of
finding out what it is. I can wait. Stop being childish about it. Think it through. The
night is still young. Between eleven and twelve. right?"
I nodded absently and reflected on what he said. Yes… I was acting-
childish. Berating myself mentally, I stood and walked towards the refrigerator. "You
want anything?"
"Booze or nothing at all."
From my trip to the refrigerator, I brought two mugs and sat down beside
Youji on the bed. My chair was getting too uncomfortable for me. Heck, it was MY
bed! I have more of a right to it than he did.
I handed him his mug and he took a sip from it. He then took it to the lamp on my
bedside table and inspected its contents.
"What is this? Why is it white?"
"Irish cream. Not your type?"
"Ah… it's okey. Pretty good actually. Bitter-sweet… smooth… creamy… Is this what
you're having too?"
"No. This is just chocolate milk."
and we talked some more. I can't remember right now what we talked about…
probably just idle talk, jumping from one topic to the other. I also can't remember
what he said so I got this crazy idea.
"Hey, that's it, Youji!"
"What?"
"I want you to look------- frenzied."
"Frenzied? What exactly do you mean be 'frenzied'?"
"Like……." I searched for the right words to describe it"…. like you're on the thrones of
passion…"
"In other words, you want me to look like I'm having sex…?"
I nodded, looking at him hopefully.
"No! I can't!"
"Why not?! You said you'd help me!" I pouted at him.
"Don't you make that face at me! Yes, I will help you, but I can't do what you're
asking of me… I can NOT pretend to be having sex!"
"Why not?! Can't you just….. touch yourself?"
"Touch myself?! Masturbate?! In front of you!?!"
"I won't look…."Now that was stupid…
"No, I will NOT masturbate!! Besides, I haven't done that since I was eighteen, why
should I when I can get real women?!"
I brooded. I absolutely HATE it when I don't get my way. Spoiled? No, not at all. I
pride myself at getting what I want, it's a game for me. I do the craziest and most
extreme things just to win at my 'game'. And that's what happened next. In my right
mind, I would have seen it was crazy and stupid… but I was obsessed.
"Look, you have to understand. Making love is a special thing. I can't just 'pretend' to
be doing it. As I said it's a special thing between two people-"
"There are two of us here. What do you need? Visual stimulation? " I then proceeded
to take my tank top off, throwing it to the floor.
"Asuka, wait…" Youji grabbed my hands before I could do anything else. "Don't… If you
don't want anything to happen between us that you would regret tomorrow… Don't…
I won't be able to stop myself."
I could see the desire mingling with uncertainty in the jade depths of his eyes. But I
already knew my answer. Words weren't needed to express what I felt. I pinned him
to the bed and kissed him ardently.
Humans have such complex emotions. I'm no exception. Somewhere between my
intense disdain and contempt for him, somehow, in the most perverse way, deep
inside, I was attracted to him. And because of my denial, my feelings were
suppressed. Then, those pent up feelings accumulated until I couldn't recognize what
it was anymore. It was that night that the inevitable happened, that big ball of pent
up emotions burst in my face- and realization dawned on me… I amaze myself at how
objectively I can see things. I ought to become a psychiatrist.
Well, what happened was… how do I say this…. Ah, what the hell! We had sex. It was
good sex. Damn it, he was good… Or is it just because I don't have a point of
comparison? NO, I don't think so; he must be one of the best; otherwise, his little
black book wouldn't have its yellow-page-like appearance.
Although I was the one who 'assaulted' him, after my first move at him, he took over.
He does most of the work, I just lie there and let myself be ravished. I don't do
anything unless I really want to. This is my brand of selfishness- de doesn't seem to
mind…
I am NOT going to narrate in full detail what happened during our coitus. I'd have to
kill anyone who knew such things... What's safe to tell? Hm…. Youji was always gentle
with me- wait, there's the time when I made him angry and that other time- anyway,
as I was saying: He always treated my gently, especially during our first time- my
first time. He was so painstaking. And even if I didn't tell him, he knew I was chaste
before he-ahem! I asked him once how he knew. He just laughed and told me it was
in my behavior and the betraying actions. What he meant by that, I don't know. He
took great care not to hurt me but it was unavoidable- considering the difference in
size of the receiving and the penetrating end, and of course, the barrier. With all the
extreme activities I was into, I was surprised it was still intact.
Before going through with it, he asked me if I was sure I wanted it to happen. And
what did I say? No duh Sherlock! I wouldn't be here discussing this if I had given a
negative answer.
As I have said, the first time hurt like hell. The second and third time did too, but not
so much. But I'm not here to rant about how painful it was. Goodness it hurt… but it
was okey, I don't mind much, I'm still alive ain't I? In short, I was sore afterwards…
sore but content…
any association (especially a close relationship) with a character of Weiss,
please reconsider reading this fic, i'm sure you wouldn't like it. Mature topics? sorta....
1st person point of view, point of view of the original character. May be a bit
boring at first, but the later chapters might be faster paced and more 'exciting'.
Might be a bit OOC... but who knows what Youji is "really" like.....
Disclaimer: i don't own weiss Kreuz or any of it's characters.... i have nothing, i get nothing
material out of writting this.
please review........ but read all chapters before reviewing. i'll take any comments
for the improvement of this fic. this is actually almost done.... i just havent gotten
to typing it yet. if you want to read the comtinuation, bug me 'bout it.
Still………… twenty minutes later………. I had not come up with anything. All my
efforts were in vain. Something was wrong… missing. And the fact that my moist
hands were smudging everything I did, wasn't helping at all. I've made him play
dead, sit, lie down… even roll over… I've asked him to try to look somber, morose,
playful- and other easily produced expressions. Something was missing, but what?
I growled in frustration, put my charcoal down, then glared at him.
"Hmm?' Youji raised an eyebrow.
"This isn't working…" I monotoned.
"What seems to be the problem?' he sat up, and fortunately he had the
decency to cover his private part with my blanket. Hmph! MY blanket!
"The problem… the problem is that that I don't know what the problem is!
If I knew what it was, then I wouldn't be this irritated!" I babbled, "I can fix my
problems, but I can't do that since I don't know what's wrong!" and I babbled, " Like
I said, this isn't working out. There's something I'm overlooking. I can't put my figer
on it!" and I babbled some more, "You know, you might as well go home. I'm getting
nowhere fast…"
While I was ranting, he listened, and listened, and listened some more. He
didn't interrupt, he just listened and looked at me pensively. And when I finally
through, he smiled and said, "Why should I go home? You just figured out what the
problem is."
"Which is?"
"That's something's missing… and you can't put your finger on it."
"Yes but-"
It was then that he cut me off, "Yes, period. No but. It's just a matter of
finding out what it is. I can wait. Stop being childish about it. Think it through. The
night is still young. Between eleven and twelve. right?"
I nodded absently and reflected on what he said. Yes… I was acting-
childish. Berating myself mentally, I stood and walked towards the refrigerator. "You
want anything?"
"Booze or nothing at all."
From my trip to the refrigerator, I brought two mugs and sat down beside
Youji on the bed. My chair was getting too uncomfortable for me. Heck, it was MY
bed! I have more of a right to it than he did.
I handed him his mug and he took a sip from it. He then took it to the lamp on my
bedside table and inspected its contents.
"What is this? Why is it white?"
"Irish cream. Not your type?"
"Ah… it's okey. Pretty good actually. Bitter-sweet… smooth… creamy… Is this what
you're having too?"
"No. This is just chocolate milk."
and we talked some more. I can't remember right now what we talked about…
probably just idle talk, jumping from one topic to the other. I also can't remember
what he said so I got this crazy idea.
"Hey, that's it, Youji!"
"What?"
"I want you to look------- frenzied."
"Frenzied? What exactly do you mean be 'frenzied'?"
"Like……." I searched for the right words to describe it"…. like you're on the thrones of
passion…"
"In other words, you want me to look like I'm having sex…?"
I nodded, looking at him hopefully.
"No! I can't!"
"Why not?! You said you'd help me!" I pouted at him.
"Don't you make that face at me! Yes, I will help you, but I can't do what you're
asking of me… I can NOT pretend to be having sex!"
"Why not?! Can't you just….. touch yourself?"
"Touch myself?! Masturbate?! In front of you!?!"
"I won't look…."Now that was stupid…
"No, I will NOT masturbate!! Besides, I haven't done that since I was eighteen, why
should I when I can get real women?!"
I brooded. I absolutely HATE it when I don't get my way. Spoiled? No, not at all. I
pride myself at getting what I want, it's a game for me. I do the craziest and most
extreme things just to win at my 'game'. And that's what happened next. In my right
mind, I would have seen it was crazy and stupid… but I was obsessed.
"Look, you have to understand. Making love is a special thing. I can't just 'pretend' to
be doing it. As I said it's a special thing between two people-"
"There are two of us here. What do you need? Visual stimulation? " I then proceeded
to take my tank top off, throwing it to the floor.
"Asuka, wait…" Youji grabbed my hands before I could do anything else. "Don't… If you
don't want anything to happen between us that you would regret tomorrow… Don't…
I won't be able to stop myself."
I could see the desire mingling with uncertainty in the jade depths of his eyes. But I
already knew my answer. Words weren't needed to express what I felt. I pinned him
to the bed and kissed him ardently.
Humans have such complex emotions. I'm no exception. Somewhere between my
intense disdain and contempt for him, somehow, in the most perverse way, deep
inside, I was attracted to him. And because of my denial, my feelings were
suppressed. Then, those pent up feelings accumulated until I couldn't recognize what
it was anymore. It was that night that the inevitable happened, that big ball of pent
up emotions burst in my face- and realization dawned on me… I amaze myself at how
objectively I can see things. I ought to become a psychiatrist.
Well, what happened was… how do I say this…. Ah, what the hell! We had sex. It was
good sex. Damn it, he was good… Or is it just because I don't have a point of
comparison? NO, I don't think so; he must be one of the best; otherwise, his little
black book wouldn't have its yellow-page-like appearance.
Although I was the one who 'assaulted' him, after my first move at him, he took over.
He does most of the work, I just lie there and let myself be ravished. I don't do
anything unless I really want to. This is my brand of selfishness- de doesn't seem to
mind…
I am NOT going to narrate in full detail what happened during our coitus. I'd have to
kill anyone who knew such things... What's safe to tell? Hm…. Youji was always gentle
with me- wait, there's the time when I made him angry and that other time- anyway,
as I was saying: He always treated my gently, especially during our first time- my
first time. He was so painstaking. And even if I didn't tell him, he knew I was chaste
before he-ahem! I asked him once how he knew. He just laughed and told me it was
in my behavior and the betraying actions. What he meant by that, I don't know. He
took great care not to hurt me but it was unavoidable- considering the difference in
size of the receiving and the penetrating end, and of course, the barrier. With all the
extreme activities I was into, I was surprised it was still intact.
Before going through with it, he asked me if I was sure I wanted it to happen. And
what did I say? No duh Sherlock! I wouldn't be here discussing this if I had given a
negative answer.
As I have said, the first time hurt like hell. The second and third time did too, but not
so much. But I'm not here to rant about how painful it was. Goodness it hurt… but it
was okey, I don't mind much, I'm still alive ain't I? In short, I was sore afterwards…
sore but content…
