#Title: Ah My Martha Stewart
Author: Mr. Miagis Banana Factory
Rating: R
Summary: Refer to Ch. 1
Disclaimer: Mr. Miagis Banana Factory owns nothing.
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Chapter 2
*behind scenes*
Sano: Dammit! Miagi's writing another chapter!
Kenshin: Maybe this will be the last one.
Yahiko: *praying* Please be the last one!
Saito: You know, this might just be the second of many chapters.
Aoshi: Thank you so much for boosting our confidence…
Saito: Don't mention it.
Sano: Might as well get it over with.
Aoshi: NO!!! I don't want to sing!!
Kenshin: Well I didn't exactly want my dick cut off and burned as a sacrifice, but it happened!
Aoshi: Oh that was smart! *acting like Kenshin* Yah, heya Martha! What was that? You want me to chop my thinger off? Okay! It sounds like fun! Now then, would like that burned up with the strawberry or grapefruit scented incense?
Kenshin: Okay. SHUT UP!
Saito: He is offened because you got it all wrong. He used the Cucumber Melon incense!
Sano: Oh the images! THE IMAGES!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!
Kenshin: Let's just start now. I want to see how our new BSB recruit does. *smiles maliciously*
Aoshi: I DON'T WANT TO WORK FOR THE BULL SHIT BOYS!!!
Saito: This might just turn out to be interesting…
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*the fic*
Sano: So there's some goddess named Martha Stewart who wants to change Kenshin into a woman…
Saito: Yah, her, Hillary Clinton, a bunch of RK fan boys, and Bill Gates.
Yahiko: I will never convert to Martha Stewartism!
Saito: Oh yes you will, pagan! I will make sure of it for it is the will of the goddess Martha Stewart!
Sano: Sorry, but I only believe in one god, and that god is Harry Potter!
Yahiko: Yah! Me too!
Megumi: *from her house* AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Saito: She must have just seen Kenshin's manliness… or lack there of…
Aoshi: *walks inside dojo* I am finally here!
Sano: Aoshi? What are you doing here?
Aoshi: I am the prophet of the one known as Justin Timberlake. I'm here to plague you with the evils of Pop Music!
Saito, Sano, and Yahiko: *gasp*
Saito: You are what stands against the goddess Martha Stewart and the bringing of her people to eternal happiness of Linens and Things!
Aoshi: Yes, I am. Justin has instructed me to destroy Martha's prophets and spread the one true music that is Pop!
Saito: I shall stop you! *takes out sword*
Aoshi: I don't think so! *takes out microphone and starts singing* Your all I ever wanted, all I ever needed, so tell me what to do now when I want you back!
Saito: *drops sword and falls to knees* I can't take it! That music… senses dying down… sight fading… can't go on…
Yahiko: *in trance* Pop music is the way to go…
Sano: Yahiko! Don't give in! Be strong! YAHIKO!!!
Yahiko: I can't help it… it's drawing me in…
Kenshin: *runs in and jumps on Aoshi*
Aoshi: Dammit! You messed up my song!
Kenshin: Sano! Take Yahiko and run!
Sano: You got back here fast.
Kenshin: Yah. Miss Megumi did a quick job and then rushed for the bushes. She said something about a queasy stomach.
Sano: ………… Okay then………… *takes Yahiko and runs*
Aoshi: Kenshin! Now you will suffer the consequences! *singing* You drive me crazy, I just can't sleep. I'm so excited, I'm in too deep! Oh crazy! But it feels alright! Everything about you keeps me up all night!
Kenshin: It's horrid! I can't stand the awfulness! I… just… can't… *faints*
*Kenshin wakes up chained to a wall in creepy dungeon type place*
Kenshin: Ugh…where am I?
Aoshi: You are in another dimension. You have crossed over to… Pop Land!
Kenshin: Martha Stewart! Why have you forsaken me?!
Aoshi: Because she's busy making far from legal deals with other countries on her merchandising.
Kenshin: This sucks… wait… where are my clothes?
Aoshi: We had to get rid of them while we were giving your body… modifications…
Kenshin: I feel so nude…
Aoshi: That might just be due to the fact that you are.
Kenshin: Oh… I just realized something… I've got a dick again… it looks kinda, funny though…
Aoshi: That's because it's plastic. It's detachable, too.
Kenshin: Detachable?
Aoshi: Yep. You've now got a detachable penis!
Kenshin: Ah great… Now I sound like I'm a lesbian.
Aoshi: Uh huh. Anyway, some new clothes should be on their way down.
Kenshin: They're pop clothes, aren't they?
Aoshi: Yep. You and Christina Agulara wear the same size in clothes so you get an older pair of hers.
Kenshin: You're gonna dress me up like a girl?!
Aoshi: A girl slut, to be exact.
Kenshin: Can't I just wear something of Lance Bass' or Nick Carter's?
Aoshi: Well… you could, but that would be no fun.
Kenshin: Bite me!
Aoshi: Bite what? There's nothing there.
Kenshin: Shut up!
*an hour later, Kenshin and Aoshi are walking down a hallway*
Kenshin: Eek! These short keep on riding up my ass!
Aoshi: They're supposed to.
Kenshin: Dammit! I hate phanny floss!
Aoshi: Pop idols wear it all the time.
Kenshin: Please don't tell me that. What's up with these hooker boots, though? You'd think I was a ho or something!
Aoshi: Stop complaining. We are now about to go to meet his Excellency, Justin Timberlake.
Kenshin: Crap.
Aoshi: *opens door*
Justin: Ah, so you have brought one of Martha Stewarts prophets with you Aoshi. Excellent.
Kenshin: Justin Timberlake!
Justin: You sound so angry. Don't you know that there are over a million fan girls who would die to be in your shoes?
Kenshin: Suck it!
Aoshi: You do realize that using phrases like that just make you sound stupid considering your… condition.
Kenshin: Leave me alone.
Justin: Kenshin, I am willing to give you the chance of a lifetime. Bow to me and you can then become one of Aoshi's whores.
Aoshi: *sweat drop*
Kenshin: *looks Aoshi up and down* Tempting but…. NO! I WON'T GIVE IN TO YOU, SATAN!
Justin: My name's Justin. Satan's my janitor down the hall.
Kenshin: Oh, close enough!
Justin: You refuse my offer, and then you mock me. I believe that it's time that you were punished. Aoshi. Take him to 'The Room.'
Aoshi: D- do I have to?
Justin: Don't argue with me otherwise you sill share in his fate.
Aoshi: Yes Lord…. Devil.. Erm… yah. *starts to lead Kenshin away*
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*behind scenes*
Kenshin: That was horrid.
Aoshi: It gets much worse next chapter.
Sano: There's gonna be a next chapter?! NNNOOOOO!!!
Saito: You shouldn't be one to complain. It's not like you're being tortured.
Sano: Still… This whole plot is horrid!
Kenshin: I keep on being sexually abused!
Aoshi: Detachable penis!
Kenshin: Stop it.
Aoshi: DETACHABLE!
Kenshin: Stop it!
Aoshi: PENIS!
Kenshin: STOP IT!
Yahiko: This is disturbing me.
Saito: I'm gonna go for a coffee break.
Sano: I'll go with you.
Yahiko: Me too.
Aoshi: I think I'm gonna lock myself in the John.
Kenshin: You know… that's probably the safest place to go.
*They all then went their own ways hoping to escape their fates that are inevitable*
