Reviews

Athrium

It's always nice to know that people enjoy my writing. I know that self-inserts are really just power fantasies, but I do try to make them enjoyable to read.

Mugen-Muse

Undermining Dumbledore is rather fun.

ZhaWarudo

Thank you.

Aconitum613

Well, that would explain why the Lovegoods never found any while in Sweden.

Author Note

The first part of this chapter contains a sex scene as this is an adult story despite it being set in a children's book series. If you'd rather avoid that just scroll down to the first (Line Break) you won't miss anything too important.

Crossworld 1 - Harry Potter

Part 23

The Leaky Cauldron. Diagon Alley.

Nymphadora Tonks was not in a good mood as she entered the pub in hopes of having a few drinks after a long shift at work. Madam Bones, her boss, had not been happy to find out that she and Mad-Eye had gotten involved with transporting Harry Potter back to Hogwarts when the boy had every right to go stay at a friend's house over the holidays.

Aurors weren't meant to get involved in stuff like that. They were supposed to deal with dark arts users, dangerous creatures and other threats to the magical world, they didn't run errands for Dumbledore. She'd only gotten some of the flak from that mess as she was still a trainee. Moody had gotten a right telling off just before they'd taken a few days off from Christmas.

It would have been worse if Hiddleston had registered a complaint. He hadn't so when Tonks spotted the wizard heading to the bar after leaving a table full of dwarves she decided to go talk to him. She wanted to make sure that he wasn't upset with her.

"Isn't this place a little shabby for the likes of you?" she asked.

Tom Hiddleston looked the part of a rich Pureblood wizard, but none of those stuck up inbred gits would hang out in this bar or even acknowledge a dwarf's existence, nevermind have a drink at the same table as a group of them.

"I needed a decent pint," Tom said to her, "And to do a little business with the dwarves".

From she knew dwarves mostly did building work and forged proper weapons (the goblin silver stuff being for display than use) not that there was much demand for either these days and wizards didn't purchase much in the way of weapons, and they didn't require a lot of building work these days, unless there was some repairs that needed doing that a spell couldn't simply fix. That combined with goblins having a monopoly on the minting of coins led to the dwarves making a living any way they could. More than a few had turned to crime, something she knew first hand.

"What do you want from the dwarves?" she asked.

She was rather curious.

"Body armour," Tom told her "I'm looking for some lightweight magical armour, something I can wear under a coat or a robe".

Tonks wondered why any wizard would bother with that. Sure the dwarves knew their metals and could enchant, but nothing they made would stop the killing curse or some of the nastier curses she knew about. Besides, it was best to shield magically or to dodge.

"Seems a bit a waste of money" she commented.

Tom seemed amused by her words.

"I can afford it," he said, before changing the subject "And I wanted to teach them a drinking song".

She'd heard a fair few drinking songs since she started her training, she didn't know this one, it had something to do with a misty mountain and fires, it made no sense to her, but the dwarves seemed to like it.

"So why did you need a pint so badly?" she wondered.

Tom took that as a hint to buy a drink for the both of them. Which she accepted since she was never one to refuse a drink.

"My young cousin went with one of his friends to visit one of her friends and it ended up being a disaster" he answered "Molly Weasly is a big Dumbeldore supporter and I helped Bagshot write her book, and Mrs Weasly decided to blame John for what I did. She laid into him verbally and she insulted my family so I'm wondering about what to do to get back at her".

The last thing the DMLE wanted was some sort of feud between two wizard families. The Weasly family wasn't rich, or politically well connected aside from being friendly with Dumbledore, however, they had numbers, a fair few friends, and she remembered Bill Weasly being deadly with his wand. You had to learn a fair bit about curses to be able to lift them.

"You're not going to start some sort of family feud are you?" she asked.

Tonks was already dreading the paperwork.

"I wasn't planning on cursing anyone" Tom assured her "I'm more worried about John being alone in the school with three of the Weasly children, those twins are a nightmare, and they could bully John".

Tonks liked a good prank, sadly the Weasly twins could take things too far.

"I can have a word with Molly Weasly if you like" the witch offered.

Tom didn't look happy about this prospect.

"I don't think it would help," he said "From what I know about Molly Weasly is that once she's decided on something she won't back down. She can't admit that Dumbledore isn't the wonderful wizard people think he is because then she'd be wrong".

Hufflepuffs such as herself were more like the Ravenclaws in that while they didn't see the Headmaster as an enemy as the Slytherins might, they'd didn't think he was the best wizard since Merlin either. They still respected the man for his defeat of Grindelwald they simply didn't revere him either.

Tonks chatted away for a while as the pub began to empty and she decided that she'd like to get laid. Tonks was more forward and more dominant than most witches when it came to sex because she was an Auror, she couldn't afford to be meek, it could get her killed, and since she was a metamorph she didn't wish to give in to demands that she take forms to please the wizard who went to bed with. Not that she was very experienced in these matters.

"Is your cousin home?" she asked.

Tom shook his head.

"He's visiting someone," he said.

That was all Tonks needed to hear and soon they were heading to the Hiddleston home, with her having declared her intentions. She doubted that it would just be a one night stand, such things were very rare in the magical world, but a friend with benefits deal could serve her a while even if these things rarely ended well. She didn't care right now.

She began to undress, showing the muggle style clothing she wore under her robes.

"This is a friends with benefits deal" she declared "I'll owl you when I want you to take me out and then bring me home for a good fucking".

She might as well get a few free drinks out of the arrangement.

"Clothes off," she commanded "And lay back. I'm going to ride the cock of yours"

He clearly wasn't impressed by her attempts to take charge of the situation even if he did so as she asked. She'd have to wipe that smirk off his face.

Maybe I should conjure up some handcuffs she thought as she finished undressing climbed onto him, and he fell back as requested. He laid on the bed as she crouched over his crotch, lining up her pussy with his very noticeable erection.

While he must be able to change the size as she could with her breasts his cock seemed quite reasonable in size. Tonks knew that size wasn't everything, endurance was important, and she didn't wish to impale herself anyway. Despite her forward attitude, she hadn't done this sort of thing very often.

She brought herself down on the waiting cock, and as soon as it began to split her lower set of lips apart, she moaned. She bit her lower lip as her body sank lower and lower. She took it slow to start with before she began moving her hips. Making them both feel good.

Tom had decided to give her ass a bit of squeezing. Most guys would go for the breasts, which she had made larger for him if only to give him something to look at. She normally kept her boobs smallish so that she didn't have to worry about back pains or having them get in the way during training.

To her surprise he spanked her, and she liked it, but she wasn't going to give up control. She'd be doing this on her own terms, seeking him out when she needed to get fucked, and she'd end it when she was ready to find someone who would love her. Until then she was young and deserved some fun.

Since she wasn't a weak little girl, and because it actually felt rather good, she did nothing about the spanking as she focused on riding Tom's cock. Perhaps they'd take turns in being the one in charge. She was a modern witch and could allow a man to have control in bed if it pleased her.

She didn't spend any real amount of time dwelling on that as she wanted to get a good orgasm out of this and so she began to focus on making herself feel good. Something that the spanking was helping with.

Well, she had been a bit of a bad girl in the past. Perhaps she needed to be punished.

(Line Break)

Carriages. Hogsmeade Station.

"What on Earth are you doing?" Hermione Granger asked me.

She was lacking in any tact, which was not odd for her, but I didn't blame her for being curious as from her perspective it must look as if I was moving my hand around for no reason. I could see the magical creature, I even knew this one's name, he was Tenebrous, Hagrid's favourite in the whole herd here at Hogwarts.

The two of us had been introduced during one of the few times I'd gone with Hagrid to check out the many magical creatures that lived around or within the school's extensive grounds. Something I did with the intent of finding new forms to take with my shapeshifting powers and to better understand what the forms I was taking could do.

"I'm stroking the Thestral," I told her.

She couldn't see them, something that she should be grateful for, not because Thestrals were horrible to look at even of they could seem a bit creepy, but because it meant she'd never had to deal with death. I wondered if I should envy her for that or pity her for not understanding the truth that all life ends?

"There's nothing there" the young witch insisted.

The other people around agreed with her. Well almost all of them. A few could see what I was really doing and even they tended to avoid the creatures. Sad that so many had needed to deal with death when they were so young.

"I can see them, they're like horses," said Neville Longbottom "They pull the carriages".

Granger didn't simply accept that she was wrong without any evidence.

"There's nothing there. The carriages must be enchanted" she insisted.

I ignored her for the moment and focused on someone who didn't seem to exist solely to annoy me whenever we met.

"Did you lose someone you cared about?" I asked Neville.

He took a moment before answering.

"I was with my grandfather when he passed," he told me.

Just seeing someone die wasn't enough to allow you to see the Thestrals you had come to terms with death as a concept and accept that life ended. Most children don't understand the finality of death even if they've seen someone die. Neville was rather mature for his age.

I took out an apple that I'd purchased from the dining cart and not gotten around to eating. I held it up in front of the magical creature which soon ate the offered fruit. Something that had a few people asking questions.

"That's just some trick" declared the witch.

Well, to be fair I could have faked that with an illusion. Not that she knew this.

"Give me your hand" I instructed.

She didn't do so right away, and when she did I guided her arm so that she could touch the Thestral. They were invisible to most people but not intangible and she took a step back when I let go of her hand.

"You know nothing Hermione Granger" I stated.

With that, I got on the carriage which soon started making its way to Hogwarts. Alas, the young witch decided to join me.

"I know a lot of things" she protested.

"You've memorised facts and figures out of books, that doesn't mean you understand anything that matters" I replied, "If you simply assume you're right all the time you'll never learn anything. You haven't even admitted that I was right about what pulls the carriages".

She wasn't cute enough to get away with huffing at me like that so I decided to simply ignore her for what was thankfully a short trip up the castle. I wasn't exactly eager to get back to classes, but the school still had a lot of research material I could use and not everyone within its walls annoyed me.

(Line Break)

Old Classroom. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

To my complete lack of surprise, Remus Lupin was brought in as our new Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor. It had taken the Headmaster too long to get someone for the job in my opinion. The OWL and NEWT level students had started to complain about the lack of an instructor from what I'd heard. Although to be fair given that the governers were getting more involved with the school they might have delayed the process of hiring a new teacher in some way.

For a time, I had wondered if Dumbledore might hire Sirius Black as some sort of appeasement to Black meant to counter the fact that Harry was being forced to live either at his aunt's house or the castle. Bringing Black here would allow Harry to spend time with his godfather without letting the boy out of Dumbledore's control.

Bringing Lupin here now made sense as there was Snape here to resent the appointment and he seemed to be a good teacher in the books, although given who'd had the job before him that wasn't saying much.

Seeing Lupin reminded me that I'd recently gotten into bed with the woman who could have in another timeline been the mother of his child. I might have prevented the birth of little Teddy Tonks. I'd feel bad about that if I wasn't also creating a world in which his parents wouldn't die in battle while trying to defend a school.

Again to my lack of surprise my class ended up facing a boggart as a practical lesson despite the fact that until now we'd never done anything really practical in this subject, and I doubted many of my peers could do more than cast the simplest of jinxes.

As instructed we took opened our books and looked inside, The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Preservation, checking out the page we had been instructed to go over. It was the page that covered Boggarts.

I knew that Boggarts aren't considered to be truly dangerous to most wizards as they can't physically harm you and that they are looked upon more as household pests than dark creatures.

Professor Lupin didn't just have us read a few paragraphs he also offered his own explanation.

"A Boggart is a shapeshifter. Nobody knows what a Boggart really looks like when it is alone. They prefer to inhabit dark and small spaces like a cupboard, or a desk and they tend to seek out places where they are unlikely to be disturbed. They are only hostile when their living space is intruded upon".

Thinking on I was surprised that I'd not encountered one when visiting Grimmauld Place with Regulus Black.

"Despite their reputation as minor dark creatures, or more often as pests, The Boggart isn't actually a dark creature, it uses fear as a defence mechanism rather than out of malice," Professor Lupin was now saying "They transform into something we fear not to do harm, but to drive us away. In truth they are as much afraid of us as we are of them".

I'd never thought of Boggarts as being animals who just wanted to be left alone, but it did make sense that they scared people to drive them away. If they fed off fear or something like then wouldn't they come after people?

"Sometimes a Boggart chooses an inappropriate place to make its home, such as this school" we were told "There is a simple spell to repel the Boggart and to drive it away should you encounter one. If you turn to the next page you can read about banishing a Boggart."

I turned the page to find the Boggart banishing spell is written in bold letters above a moving illustration.

Riddikulus

Since I'd never encountered one of these creatures in the vast junk piles of the Room of Requirement, then they must be rather rare, as such I'd never felt the need to learn this spell.

"Riddikulus allows you to force the Boggart into a shape that amuses you" Lupin was now saying "This works best if you make the changes as simple as possible. For example, if you fear large dogs it would be easier to force the Boggart to change into a small, silly-looking dog than to make it look like a clown. Try to imagine how you'd make something that scares you into something that makes you laugh".

So the spell took imagination as well as a force of will. Many charms were like that.

"Now when facing a Boggart you need to be aware of your own fears so that the Boggart easily can't drive you away," Lupin told us "Some wizards and witches might cast charm while working with someone so as to confuse the Boggart. The creature can only take form at a time so making it face even just two witches or wizards can help you more easily drive the creature away. The important part is being able to face your fears and make them into some amusing so as to drive the Boggart away".

"Sounds like dealing with Pennywise only without anyone getting eaten" I muttered to myself.

If anyone heard me they didn't get the reference.

"Since they can't be killed you have to contain them inside something that can then be stored away somewhere" Lupin let us know "The one I brought with me was found here in the school and is contained in an old trunk".

The moving picture in the book showed the Boggart turning into what I would consider childish fears, and this led me to wonder something so I raised my hand.

"Yes?" said Lupin.

"How does the Boggart handle someone who fears say heights or never being able to escape the crushing realisation that life is inherently meaningless and all that awaits us is the endless void of death?" I asked.

My question caused some students to look at me worriedly.

"Then the Boggart will attempt to take the form of something you fear even it isn't your single greatest fear or if possible it will find a way to take the form of your greatest fear that even you can't imagine," said Lupin "Somone who fears abandonment might see a loved one turning their back on them, or someone who fears death would see their own corpse. Not everyone has fears that easy to understand, but the Boggart will find some way to try to drive you off".

I knew that my life wasn't meaningless since I had an important role in protecting the world-seed and I'd lost my fear of heights when I started transforming into birds. As such, I was curious as to what form the Boggart would take.

Before long we began to line up so that we could face the Boggart and Marcus was right behind me.

"What the hell were you talking about?" he asked "What do you mean by crushing realisation of death?".

Did Wizards not suffer from depression? I'd have to look into that.

"It doesn't matter," I said.

While others dealt with zombies, vampires, what I guessed to be a Granny who wanted them to eat her awful cooking, and one case a giant frog that tried to lick some poor girl, I did my best to prepare myself for whatever horrible form the Boggart would take.

When I got to the front of the class the creature took its time changing forms as if it couldn't make up its mind.

"This can happen if the Boggart can't take the form of a more complex fear," said Lupin "It will seek out a more simple form, most likely something from your earlier years that caused you a create deal of fear. Something from a nightmare that you might have almost forgotten".

I knew what it was going to be and indeed it became the xenomorph from the first Alien movie. I'd watched that film when I was far too young to handle it and was the only nightmare I'd ever had a child that caused me to go crawling into my mother's bed.

"What is it!" someone yelled "Make it go away!".

It was a big, ugly death that has come to destroy us all, or would be if it could actually do any physical harm.

"Kill it with fire! another called out.

Thank goodness I had experience with the mind arts as that allowed me to keep it together long enough to remember another movie. One that was the key to countering the horror of the thing before me. Spaceballs would save me.

Riddikulus

Now the scary alien looked like one-quarter of a Barbershop quartet, complete with hat and cane.

Hello my baby, hello my honey
Hello my ragtime gal
Send me a kiss by wire
Baby my heart's on fire
If you refuse me
Honey, you'll lose me
Then you'll be left alone
Oh baby, telephone
And tell me I'm your own

No one laughed other than me and I let the next person take their turn.

"I've never seen that in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them," said Eddie.

He was referring to the book that documents magical creatures were as I was now thinking what a bizarre crossover that would make for.

"That was a fictional creature from a muggle movie" I explained "I saw the film when I was young and it stuck with me".

Screw you, Ridley Scott. I could have done without those nightmares.

"Muggles are so strange," remarked Marcus.

I couldn't exactly argue with this given the kind of things that came out of the minds of some people.

(Line Break)

Old Classroom. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

It took only a few weeks after my Boggart lesson for Harry Potter to seek me out to ask for aid with his studies and he brought Longbottom with him since both of the boys were struggling as the first year exams drew ever closer. They seemed like so far into the future when you got back from the Xmas holiday, but they had a way of suddenly getting much closer, like a predator sneaking up behind you.

Naturally, I'd begun to prepare as best I could for my exams by speaking to some third-year students and finding out what they'd done. Apparently, this year's exams would be much like last year's. Mostly I'd be required to demonstrate knowledge of some spells, both in practical terms and to answer questions on the theory side of things.

Not much of an effort for someone with an AI in his head who was used to working at a college level. The tricky part would be doing well enough to be near the top of my class without drawing too much attention myself. Only the OWL and NEWT were really worth anything and even they might not be worth showing off for.

In the books, Harry never tasks his exams in his second year because they are cancelled. How this had affected the NEWT and OWL students I had no idea? Perhaps only the school run exams were cancelled or the exam board could have asked the teachers to estimate the marks based on a student's schoolwork. Not that it mattered in this timeline since I'd made sure that the Chamber would not be opening.

"Your first year exams are easy" I assured the two young wizards as we sat in an unused classroom "Each of the core seven subjects: Transfiguration, Charms, Potions, History of Magic, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Astronomy and Herbology. Have an exam".

Flying lessons were also compulsory and you had to pass that class to finish your first year, but that wasn't something I could them with as I'd learned to handle flying by turning myself into a bird. Besides as far as I knew it was not possible to fail flying class, or at least no one had managed it, sooner or later Madam Hooch got you through it even if you ended up getting bad marks and never being allowed on a school's Quidditch Team for safety reasons.

"Transfiguration, Charms, Potions, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Astronomy and Herbology all have practical and theory side to the exam" I mentioned, "The practical involves demonstrating for the teacher that you can caste a certain spell that you would have covered in classes".

It really wasn't much to worry about. Even Crabbe and Goyle, two students who I'd personally seen outsmarted by hard to open doors, managed to pass their exams in the books, although how much of that was their parent's influence I didn't know.

"From what I've gathered its rare for the school to change the spell or potion so I will ensure that you learn the spells that I did," I told the two boys "Slughorn might have you brew up a different potion than what Snape chose for the exam last year, but the practice won't do you any harm".

That would require me to gather up some mice, animals that I'd learned didn't enjoy cheese as much as I'd thought. But they would need to practice transfiguration and I'd have to find out what mice really liked to eat.

"DADA goes through a lot of teachers, but given what Lupin has been teaching us I suspect the practical and theory will involve dealing with some sort of magical creature," I said.

He made an obstacle course in the book, but that was for the third year class, I didn't think he'd expect that sort of thing from the first-year class. I might have to deal with such a thing since I was a bit older so I should try to prepare.

"What spells do you need to learn last year for your exams?" Potter asked.

It was sort of cute how he raised his hand before speaking even if was inappropriate.

"Please don't do that Harry I'm not a teacher," I said, "And to answer your questions, we had to turn a mouse into a snuffbox, make a pineapple dance, and perform a simple jinx in DADA for a teacher who couldn't remember our names".

Lupin really outshined the other DADA teachers that I'd had to put up with.

"The History of Magic exam is likely going to be different since Bagshot has changed the course," I told the two young wizards "Most likely the exam will still be focused on a single historical figure or maybe an event. What is teaching you first years?".

Neville spoke up.

"The Statute of Secrecy" he answered, "And the founding of the Ministry of Magic".

That made sense as a place to start. The Goblin Rebellions had helped to shape the Wizarding World, as had the Giant Wars, starting with the Statue made the most sense as separating from the mundane cultures led to the formation of the magical world as it was known today. She was also teaching my class about that important part of magical history since Binns hadn't really taught us anything.

"We'll go over the Statue and the people who were involved," I told the boys "Bagshot wouldn't be devoting so much of our class time to it if it wasn't part of the exam, and it is important to know".

"We'll focus on the charms exam first" I was now saying "That means perfecting Lumos, the levitating charms and the animation charm so that you can make a pineapple dance, and we'll go over the theory until you really understand".

It worked for me.

"I found charms exam to be easiest" I informed the students I wished to help and partly because going over the material would also reinforce my own practical skills "So we'll start with that".

"My Gran is a soft subject, she'll want to me do well in transfiguration and DADA," said Neville.

His Grandmother was a fool, not that I mentioned this out loud. Charms were the simplest of spells I would agree with that, but you had to master the easy stuff first and a lot of DADA involved using charms just in the right situation.

"It makes sense to do the soft stuff first so we can spend more time on Transfiguration, which even I struggle with, later on, and we won't have to rush charms if we start running out of time after Easter. You can do the theory part for Transfiguration by yourselves as I won't be here for Easter and you don't need my help to read a book".

And I would not be able to get Harry out of the castle to come study with me. Not that I minded as I wanted to hook up with Tonks again. As long as we didn't sleep together in the sense of actually sleeping I wouldn't slip back into my base form and freak her out. It should freak me out that I had the base form of a 12 or 13-year-old boy, I had trouble remembering my age as John Hiddleston, but John was like Tom just a persona.

None of them was the real me, I was Kol the Red Mage if I was anyone at all and even Kol was an identity I created. I had been around in one form or another for a few decades and Tonks had come after me for sex so why should I feel bad?

She needed to believe the Tom Hiddleston persona for the sake of everyone because it kept the World Seed safe. Besides, it had been way too long since I'd had any sort of girlfriend and in Tom Hiddleston's form, everything worked as it should biologically.

"When we get to that practical side of that subject I'll find us some stuff to transfigure" I promised, "For now let's start with the simple Lumos spell as its very useful and a good way to start learning how to control magic".

The two young wizards both took out their wands and they created dim lights that didn't last for very long. Neither of them lacked power, Harry would be drives hordes of Dementors away before he was even fourteen and Neville's issue was confidence, not a lack of magical power.

So it was a matter of learning how to control magic and themselves to an extent, I could teach them that.

"I think it might be best to start with some simple mental exercises meant to help you learn occumlancy, you won't master that completely for years, but it can help to control magic because it helps with focus," I said "The mind arts will help you with all kings of magic in the future".

In a few years when they could protect their minds, I could show them the Room of Requirement and maybe even the Chamber of Secrets. Those would be good rewards if they both worked hard.