Diary
Ep. 2: Prof. Snape
by Lissa
*************
DISCLAIMER: I don't own MTV Diary or any Harry Potter character.
HP belongs to JK Rowling, and Diary belongs to MTV.
Storyline belongs to me. Tankies.
****************
(Snape is in front of a black background)
SNAPE: You think you know, but you have no idea.
This is the diary of Severus Snape.
(Screen says: Prof. Snape: Spiteful Sorcerer)
SNAPE: I am NOT spiteful! You're just jealous
of my fashion sense!
***************
June 1st, 1993. Final day of exams.
(In dungeon, Gryffindor 7th years, making
a sleeping draught, Oliver Wood is
struggling)
SNAPE: No...Wood...don't do that....
WOOD: Ah, I've got it, Professor....
SNAPE: 5 points from Gryffindor for
talking back....
PERCY: Damn.
SNAPE: 10 points from Gryffindor for
foul language.
PERCY: But...but...I'm Head Boy!
SNAPE: 10 more points from Gryffindor for
talking back....
(All of a sudden, Wood's potion blows up.
The class evacuates the dungeons)
I hate the Gryffindors. Always think
that they're the best at everything....
especially the Weasleys and Potter. Do
you blame me for being mean? Something
bad always happens when they're in my
class.
**************CM BREAK**********
(Hermione steps out again from the curtain)
HERMIONE: Please join SPEW and save the
House-Elves. Only 2 sickles to join! Again,
I beg you!
(She steps back)
****************************
June 2nd, 1993. House Cup.
I hope that Slytherin wins this
year. I don't want McGonagall to
keep boasting...it's annoying!
(Great hall)
DUMBLEDORE: And the winner
of this year's House Cup is
Gryffindor, for the 3rd year
straight!
(Gryffindors cheer)
It's all Black's fault. If he hadn't
come back, we would've won it!
(Staff room)
MCGONAGALL: We won, you
lost...and you suck, Severus!
The students think that she's so...
serious and stuff. But in actuality,
she's almost as bad as the Weasley
twins.
*************************
June 3rd, 1993.
Did you know that everybody
in Slytherin has pink fluffy
bunny jammies? That's why
we're all in Slytherin!
(Slytherin common room: everyone
is wearing pink fluffy bunny pyjamas
and slippers)
MALFOY: Professor, I can't
believe we didn't win!
SNAPE: I know, Draco.
Malfoy is my favourite student.
He hates Potter and Weasley just
like I do.
MALFOY: It's all Potter's fault!
CRABBE: Yeah.
GOYLE: Yah baby!
COMMON ROOM: What?
GOYLE: C'mon, haven't you
ever seen Austin Powers?
ALL: No.
Except for those idiot friends of his
, that is. Well, farewell. I must
get back to my pink fluffy
bunny jammies, and decorating
my pink home in bunny decor!
************************
A/N: Who's next? I dunno. But....
it will get better. I promise.
Ep. 2: Prof. Snape
by Lissa
*************
DISCLAIMER: I don't own MTV Diary or any Harry Potter character.
HP belongs to JK Rowling, and Diary belongs to MTV.
Storyline belongs to me. Tankies.
****************
(Snape is in front of a black background)
SNAPE: You think you know, but you have no idea.
This is the diary of Severus Snape.
(Screen says: Prof. Snape: Spiteful Sorcerer)
SNAPE: I am NOT spiteful! You're just jealous
of my fashion sense!
***************
June 1st, 1993. Final day of exams.
(In dungeon, Gryffindor 7th years, making
a sleeping draught, Oliver Wood is
struggling)
SNAPE: No...Wood...don't do that....
WOOD: Ah, I've got it, Professor....
SNAPE: 5 points from Gryffindor for
talking back....
PERCY: Damn.
SNAPE: 10 points from Gryffindor for
foul language.
PERCY: But...but...I'm Head Boy!
SNAPE: 10 more points from Gryffindor for
talking back....
(All of a sudden, Wood's potion blows up.
The class evacuates the dungeons)
I hate the Gryffindors. Always think
that they're the best at everything....
especially the Weasleys and Potter. Do
you blame me for being mean? Something
bad always happens when they're in my
class.
**************CM BREAK**********
(Hermione steps out again from the curtain)
HERMIONE: Please join SPEW and save the
House-Elves. Only 2 sickles to join! Again,
I beg you!
(She steps back)
****************************
June 2nd, 1993. House Cup.
I hope that Slytherin wins this
year. I don't want McGonagall to
keep boasting...it's annoying!
(Great hall)
DUMBLEDORE: And the winner
of this year's House Cup is
Gryffindor, for the 3rd year
straight!
(Gryffindors cheer)
It's all Black's fault. If he hadn't
come back, we would've won it!
(Staff room)
MCGONAGALL: We won, you
lost...and you suck, Severus!
The students think that she's so...
serious and stuff. But in actuality,
she's almost as bad as the Weasley
twins.
*************************
June 3rd, 1993.
Did you know that everybody
in Slytherin has pink fluffy
bunny jammies? That's why
we're all in Slytherin!
(Slytherin common room: everyone
is wearing pink fluffy bunny pyjamas
and slippers)
MALFOY: Professor, I can't
believe we didn't win!
SNAPE: I know, Draco.
Malfoy is my favourite student.
He hates Potter and Weasley just
like I do.
MALFOY: It's all Potter's fault!
CRABBE: Yeah.
GOYLE: Yah baby!
COMMON ROOM: What?
GOYLE: C'mon, haven't you
ever seen Austin Powers?
ALL: No.
Except for those idiot friends of his
, that is. Well, farewell. I must
get back to my pink fluffy
bunny jammies, and decorating
my pink home in bunny decor!
************************
A/N: Who's next? I dunno. But....
it will get better. I promise.
