Diary

Episode 3: Ron Weasley

By Lissa

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Disclaimer: See last chapter.

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RON: You think you know, but you have no

idea. This is the diary of Ron Weasley.

(Screen says Ron Weasley:

The Kid That's Always

Forgotten)



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September 3rd, 1994. Hogwarts. It's all about Harry. Harry, Harry,

Harry. Nobody ever worries about me. Just because I'm not famouse

doesn't mean that I don't have feelings too. It's like the dude in the

Backstreet Boys, the one with the big fuzzy eyebrows. His cousin

gets more attention than he does. Don't look at me like that!

It's Hermione and her stupid Muggle music's fault!

(Scene: A huge mob of 'Harry-fanatics' chases Harry

across the Quidditch pitch)

HARRY: Ron! Help me!!!

RON: Sorry, I don't like the attention.

(Harry gets dragged in)

He's still mad at me for that one. I dunno

why, though.

*************

September 4th, 1994. Today we had

potions. As usual, Snape took points

away from Gryffindor.

SNAPE: Weasley, Potter, 20

points from Gryffindor!

HARRY: (undertone)What the

bloody hell did I do now?

HERMIONE: (whispering)

LANGUAGE!

RON: Why, Professor?

SNAPE: Because you showed up

for class!

RON: Ok, just checking...

HARRY: (undertone)

Smarmy old bas---

HERMIONE: Language!

RON: Damn him, that

son-of-a-bi--

HERMIONE: Potty mouth.

RON: So flush me!

**************CM BREAK**********

(Hermione steps out...again, with

a desperate look on her face)

HERMIONE: Please...I beg you...

join SPEW! Only one sickle to join!

Call 1-800-555-SPEW today!

(Hermione steps back, harriedly,

and trips, knocking down the lights

and the curtain.)

DOBBY: Dobby is thinking that

nobody is going to join SPEW.

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September 5th, 1994. Great Hall.

(Scene: Gryffindor Table)

RON: I know! We can enchant some

rabid woodchucks to follow them!

HARRY: What about a pie-throwing

spell?

DEAN: Or you can do the good-ol'

Muggle shaving cream thingy...

(Harry, Hermione, and Lavender gasp)

SEAMUS: What's shaving cream?

RON: (Blank, confused

expression on face)

Tell me more about this....

SEAMUS: No,really, what's

shaving cream?

DEAN: (whispers in Ron's ear

how to perform the trick)

(Scene: Ron is sneaking out of the

Slytherin fourth-year dor, with a smile

on his face. He seems to make it out,

until we see Filch catch him)

FILCH: Detention for you! (to Mrs. Norris)

We've had a good night, my sweet!

Stupid Dean and his stupid trick. I've

got detention for a month, scrubbing

bed pans! Which, I'm late for now!

See-ya! I hope whoever-the-hell's

after me does a bloody brilliant job!.



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A/N: I know it sucked, but it will

get better! I promise!

~Lissa