HP Diary
Episode 4: Draco Malfoy
by *lissa*
**********************************
DRACO: (in front of screen thingamabobber)
You think you know, but you have no idea.(long
pause).........this is the diary of Draco Malfoy,
the coolest kid at Hogwarts.
(screen shows up, reads: Draco Malfoy: the Most
Annoying Kid at Hogwarts)
DRACO: That is offensive. I am offended. (cries)
*******************************
October 2nd, 1994. I hate Potter. He is so
annoying, especially in Double Potions.
(Scene: Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Draco are
shown in the Potions classroom.)
HARRY: Uh, Malfoy, would you mind passing
me the tortoise toes?
MALFOY: Yes, I would mind. No way would
I pass it to a friend of a MUDBLOOD!
(evil laughter) Mwahahahahahhahaha!!
HERMIONE: Hey!
RON: That was uncalled for.
MALFOY: Professor, Potter's bothering me!
SNAPE: 50 points from Gryffindor for being
a pain in the butt, Potter.
**********************************
Also, I hate Granger. She's too smart for
her own good. Bloody Mudblood.
(Scene: Transfiguration)
HERMIONE: Professor McGonagall, did I
Transfigure my iguana into a cheeseball
correctly?
MCGONAGALL: Yes. 10 points to Gryffindor!
MALFOY: (audible whisper to Goyle) That
bloody Granger son of a b-----..
MCGONAGALL: 13 points rom Slytherin fo
rusing profanity in my classroom!
MALFOY: Damn.
************CM BREAK**************
PERKY ACTRESS: Inside every box of Mystic-O's,
there's a magical surprise!!!
(Opens box of cereal, out poors alot of junky toys)
PERKY GIRL: Hey, I got a wand (shows cheap
plastic wand thingy)
PERKY BOY: I got some cheese doodles!!! (shows
rubber cheese doodles)
HERMIONE: I got A History of Hogwarts: the Unedited,
Unreleased, Uncensored Edition!
HARRY: I got a scar!!
PERKY ACTRESS: So buy Mystic-O's, breakfast of......
really cool people!!!! You too can be like Harry Potter
(screen fades away to nothing)
****************************************
October 3rd, 1994. The Slytherin Disco Dance.
(Scene: Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy Parkinson, and
the other Slytherins are dancing in pink pajamas
to disco tunes, and a funky disco ball)
I love the disco!! It's so much fun)
PANSY: Do the disco, baby!!
DRACO: You got it, babe!
CRABBE: Funky.
GOYLE: Funky.
I also love pink fluffy bunny pajamas.
(Scene: Snape enters in the middle of the Disco)
SNAPE: What's going on?
DRACO: Potter did this!
SNAPE: Really?
GOYLE: Duh...yah.
SNAPE: 69 points from Gryffindor!! 69 points to Slytherin!!
ALL: (unenthusiasticly) Yay.
But, alas, I must leave you now. I am so sad, and I know you
are too. It is time for the Teletubbies marathon, and I don't wanna
miss it!! And I wanna eat some Twinkies. Farewell!
***************
DISCLAIMER: As usual, Harry Potter, and all things
affiliated belong to JK Rowling.
Teletubbies belong to...whoever the hell they belong to.
Twinkies belong to Hostess.
Mystic-O's belong to me.
l i s s a ' S NOTE: If you want another chapter, you
better review. I want at least 10 reviews before I post
another one, to show that at least SOMEBODY wants
to read this. Otherwise, I'll go back to my old ways.
(ie writing retarded, pointless jingle things)
Episode 4: Draco Malfoy
by *lissa*
**********************************
DRACO: (in front of screen thingamabobber)
You think you know, but you have no idea.(long
pause).........this is the diary of Draco Malfoy,
the coolest kid at Hogwarts.
(screen shows up, reads: Draco Malfoy: the Most
Annoying Kid at Hogwarts)
DRACO: That is offensive. I am offended. (cries)
*******************************
October 2nd, 1994. I hate Potter. He is so
annoying, especially in Double Potions.
(Scene: Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Draco are
shown in the Potions classroom.)
HARRY: Uh, Malfoy, would you mind passing
me the tortoise toes?
MALFOY: Yes, I would mind. No way would
I pass it to a friend of a MUDBLOOD!
(evil laughter) Mwahahahahahhahaha!!
HERMIONE: Hey!
RON: That was uncalled for.
MALFOY: Professor, Potter's bothering me!
SNAPE: 50 points from Gryffindor for being
a pain in the butt, Potter.
**********************************
Also, I hate Granger. She's too smart for
her own good. Bloody Mudblood.
(Scene: Transfiguration)
HERMIONE: Professor McGonagall, did I
Transfigure my iguana into a cheeseball
correctly?
MCGONAGALL: Yes. 10 points to Gryffindor!
MALFOY: (audible whisper to Goyle) That
bloody Granger son of a b-----..
MCGONAGALL: 13 points rom Slytherin fo
rusing profanity in my classroom!
MALFOY: Damn.
************CM BREAK**************
PERKY ACTRESS: Inside every box of Mystic-O's,
there's a magical surprise!!!
(Opens box of cereal, out poors alot of junky toys)
PERKY GIRL: Hey, I got a wand (shows cheap
plastic wand thingy)
PERKY BOY: I got some cheese doodles!!! (shows
rubber cheese doodles)
HERMIONE: I got A History of Hogwarts: the Unedited,
Unreleased, Uncensored Edition!
HARRY: I got a scar!!
PERKY ACTRESS: So buy Mystic-O's, breakfast of......
really cool people!!!! You too can be like Harry Potter
(screen fades away to nothing)
****************************************
October 3rd, 1994. The Slytherin Disco Dance.
(Scene: Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy Parkinson, and
the other Slytherins are dancing in pink pajamas
to disco tunes, and a funky disco ball)
I love the disco!! It's so much fun)
PANSY: Do the disco, baby!!
DRACO: You got it, babe!
CRABBE: Funky.
GOYLE: Funky.
I also love pink fluffy bunny pajamas.
(Scene: Snape enters in the middle of the Disco)
SNAPE: What's going on?
DRACO: Potter did this!
SNAPE: Really?
GOYLE: Duh...yah.
SNAPE: 69 points from Gryffindor!! 69 points to Slytherin!!
ALL: (unenthusiasticly) Yay.
But, alas, I must leave you now. I am so sad, and I know you
are too. It is time for the Teletubbies marathon, and I don't wanna
miss it!! And I wanna eat some Twinkies. Farewell!
***************
DISCLAIMER: As usual, Harry Potter, and all things
affiliated belong to JK Rowling.
Teletubbies belong to...whoever the hell they belong to.
Twinkies belong to Hostess.
Mystic-O's belong to me.
l i s s a ' S NOTE: If you want another chapter, you
better review. I want at least 10 reviews before I post
another one, to show that at least SOMEBODY wants
to read this. Otherwise, I'll go back to my old ways.
(ie writing retarded, pointless jingle things)
