Diary: HP Style
Episode 6: Neville Longbottom
by LiSsA
***********
NEVILLE: You think you know.......(long pause)
but you have no idea. (pause) This is the diary
of Neville Longbottom.
(Screen reads: Neville: The Clumsiest Boy in all
the Land)
**************
(Scene: Herbology greenhouse)
SPROUT: Now, when you water a Snicklesmurf,
be sure not to wear blue....aah, Neville...
(Neville is stuck in a Venus flytrap)
NEVILLE: I could use some help....
LAVENDER: I'd help you, but I just
did my nails.
PARVATI: Ditto.
(Scene: Great Hall. Neville is eating
cereal.)
NEVILLE: Oh, what yummy cereal!!
(Draco Malfoy suddenly appears and dunks
him into his bowl of cereal.)
HERMIONE: Draco! Was that a nice thing
to do.
DRACO: Damn straight, yeah.
HERMIONE: Language!
NEVILLE: Some help?
*****COMMERCIAL BREAK*******
(Hermione steps out from behind a curtain)
HERMIONE: Please join SPEW!! Save the House-Elves!!
Only 10 knuts!! Call 1-800-SPEW-YOU!! The next person
to call gets some free lessons in chess, and an autographed
POSTER of Harry Potter!
RON: (backstage) When did I agree to that?
HARRY: (From backstage) Hermione.......
DOBBY: (backstage) Dobby is thinking that Hermione
will never get any SPEW members
HERMIONE: Again, call 1-800-SPEW-YOU!
*******************************
(Scene: Quidditch Pitch, trials 1993.)
WOOD: If you want to be on this team...you have to EARN
it. You have to eat, sleep, and BREATHE Quidditch.
Quidditch must be your life!
NEVILLE: Aaaaaah.....
(Neville has suddenly shot up in the air on his broom)
NEVILLE: I.....can't......stop.......it.......
FRED: Don't worry Neville.
GEORGE: Yah, we'll save you!
(Fred and George hit a bludger at Neville. It hits him
hard in the stomach.)
NEVILLE: Oomph.
(Neville lands on Seamus Finnigan)
SEAMUS: Oy, me bloody 'ead.
I have to go write a letter to Gram. Have a pleasant,
harmfree day.
***********************
DISC: See previous chapter.
Episode 6: Neville Longbottom
by LiSsA
***********
NEVILLE: You think you know.......(long pause)
but you have no idea. (pause) This is the diary
of Neville Longbottom.
(Screen reads: Neville: The Clumsiest Boy in all
the Land)
**************
(Scene: Herbology greenhouse)
SPROUT: Now, when you water a Snicklesmurf,
be sure not to wear blue....aah, Neville...
(Neville is stuck in a Venus flytrap)
NEVILLE: I could use some help....
LAVENDER: I'd help you, but I just
did my nails.
PARVATI: Ditto.
(Scene: Great Hall. Neville is eating
cereal.)
NEVILLE: Oh, what yummy cereal!!
(Draco Malfoy suddenly appears and dunks
him into his bowl of cereal.)
HERMIONE: Draco! Was that a nice thing
to do.
DRACO: Damn straight, yeah.
HERMIONE: Language!
NEVILLE: Some help?
*****COMMERCIAL BREAK*******
(Hermione steps out from behind a curtain)
HERMIONE: Please join SPEW!! Save the House-Elves!!
Only 10 knuts!! Call 1-800-SPEW-YOU!! The next person
to call gets some free lessons in chess, and an autographed
POSTER of Harry Potter!
RON: (backstage) When did I agree to that?
HARRY: (From backstage) Hermione.......
DOBBY: (backstage) Dobby is thinking that Hermione
will never get any SPEW members
HERMIONE: Again, call 1-800-SPEW-YOU!
*******************************
(Scene: Quidditch Pitch, trials 1993.)
WOOD: If you want to be on this team...you have to EARN
it. You have to eat, sleep, and BREATHE Quidditch.
Quidditch must be your life!
NEVILLE: Aaaaaah.....
(Neville has suddenly shot up in the air on his broom)
NEVILLE: I.....can't......stop.......it.......
FRED: Don't worry Neville.
GEORGE: Yah, we'll save you!
(Fred and George hit a bludger at Neville. It hits him
hard in the stomach.)
NEVILLE: Oomph.
(Neville lands on Seamus Finnigan)
SEAMUS: Oy, me bloody 'ead.
I have to go write a letter to Gram. Have a pleasant,
harmfree day.
***********************
DISC: See previous chapter.
