A/N: I think I should give ppl a bit of background info about Excel Saga. It'll help to understand this fic better and what's better then having the characters from the show explain themselves for you?

Excel: My name is Excel! I am the first member of 'Across', a secret organization that Ilparazzo-sama put together to cleans the world! Some say I have en infatuation with Ilparazzo-sama but I call it undying devotion!

Ilparazzo: I am the great Ilparazzo, as Excel said, I am the leader of 'Across'. I sit around all day and tell Hyatt and Excel what to do.

Hyatt: I am Hyatt, I'm really a space princess but I joined 'Across' somehow and now I wo-*cough cough hack hack* woooork...for Il-Ilparazzz...zzz...*hack cough, falls to the floor passed out*

Menchi: Oiwww..oiw...owi owi oiw oiw...Yip! Yip!! Yiiiiiip! Oiw...oiw... (Translation: My name is Menchi, the cute little dog that Excel keeps for emergency food...SAVE ME SAVE ME! Please?)

Iz-chan: I am Iz-chan, I bring Excel and anyone else that dies back to life with my mystical powers...Yes, I'm a blue floating thing with arms....

Nabeshin: The great Nabeshin has yet to be mentioned in this fic!? No matter! I am Nabeshin! The man with the 'fro' you'll see me later in this fic...that is if Ruby writes a part for me.

Vashu: My real name is Vash the Stampede if you were gullible enough to believe I was just a guy named 'Vashu'....let's hope that crazy girl doesn't realize who I really am....o_O.'

Ruby: Anyway....you now know a bit about who is who so lets continue on our way where we left off last.....




"Errr....Excel-San, where are we going?" Vashu asked.

"We are....going....to...." Excel trailed off....

"We are.....going...to....what?" Vashu repeated.

"WE ARE GOING TO 'ACROSS' HEADQUARTERS!" Excel laughed frantically as she skipped in the middle of the road.

"Ok...sounds good but I think you should get out of the middle of the road..." Vashu warned her.

"Huh?" Excel turned to Vashu and blinked. " What do you mean by tha-"

*BAM*

Excel laid flattened in the road. The driver of the car stopped and got out. "OH MY GOD! I HIT THIS GIRL! I KILLED HER!!!."

Vashu walked over and sighed. "That's ok...she'll be fine."

"What do you mean!??! She's dead!!!!"

"Yeah but give her a few minutes....She'll be ok...."

"Who'll be ok?" Excel blinked and got up. She brushed herself off and fixed her hair. "Her mister....you don't look so good you should maybe sit down and close your mouth...."

The driver stood there with his mouth hanging open and his eyes like plates. Then suddenly he fell over and died.

"Wow...you scared him to death...." Vashu stated bluntly.

"....Iz-chan?"

"Right here, Excel...I shall revive this poor man so he can be on his way to be fired at work and then find out his wife has been sleeping with his best friend and that his son wants to run away to the circus so he can train turtles how to juggle." Iz-chan waved her hand and the man got up. He blinked and looked at Excel.

"Oh dear...I must have dreamt all that...Well I'll be on my way to work and then after I shall go home to my wife and then have a man-to-man talk with my son about the importance of getting a respectable job....if all goes well today." He smiled to Vashu and Excel then got in his car and drove away.

"JA NE!!!" Excel called after him as he left. "What a nice man he was....I hope he has a nice day." ^_^

"For some reason I think you put curses on everyone you meet...." Vashu gulped.

"Huh? What do you mean by that?" Excel blinked.

"Ah....never mind...Which way to 'Across' headquarters?"

"This way!" Excel giggled and dragged Vashu with her.


Upon arriving at 'Across' headquarters....

"HAIL ILPARAZZO-SAMA!!!!" Excel chirped. "Oh great master, I have a new member who shall help us take over the world and cleanse it of all evil and as we do such we are looking for a mysterious gunman so we can get money to eat so we can fulfil our duties even more so!"

"...." Ilparazzo took a moment to register everything Excel babbled about. "Very well Excel and newcomer."

"Wow! You really have a neat place here...." Vashu commented.

"Hrmmm....Excel and newcomer, I have a job for you to do....Excel, you have bathroom duty and newcomer..."

"Vashu"

"Va-shu? "

"My name is Vashu!" he smiled and made the most anime marked move of all times....the peace pose.

"Very well, Vashu....I need you to bring me the blueprints of a laser that are in the Hikitomosu building."

"Err....ok Ilparazzo...." Vashu sweatdropped. At least Excel was busy with bathroom duty instead of hunting him down.

"I shall clean the bathrooms Ilparazzo-Sama! Anything for you! Ask me to jump off the world and I shall do so! Ask me to eat glass and that I shall do it without flinching! Ask me to kill and I WILL KILL!!! I am your most faithful servant! I live only to serve and do your utter most demanding tasks! I give you my life and my soul! My heart and my lungs! My mind and

my body!!!!" Excel continued dramatically on for a few minutes....not that Ilparazzo payed her any attention....

She babbled on and on until finally, the very annoyed Ilparazzo pulled a cord and down went Excel through a trap door. Not that it made her shut up or anything. She continued pledging herself to Ilparazzo until she hit the bottom moments later.

"I think I should invest in a muzzle for that girl...." Ilparazzo rubbed him temples.



~*~*~*~

I think poor Ilparazzo-sama should look into buying a shock collar for her....hehehehe....new idea!

Excel: What? You don't mean....

Vashu: I hope that's what she means....You need to lay off the pep pills @_@'

Ruby: I agree....Maybe we should look into getting her some ritalin too....

Vash: Sounds good.....anyway r/r!