And a quick thanks go to: Aubrey, are you ever NOT helpful? / Heather, we should stop volunteering to beta for bad writers..... / Adina, one of my betas, and a person responsible for one of the paragraphs in here, she knows which one ;-) / Lizzie, for encouragement. / Diane and Dana, for the obvious reasons, you guys have had major influence on my writing, be it good or bad, and I thank you. Feedback is welcome, send to: l_holt2001@yahoo.com Thank you, one and all......only one more part to go!

Letting Go

Part 3

Maddie pulled the brush through her hair one last time, laying it down upon the counter. She stared at herself in the mirror and forced a smile to her face. Shaking her head, she frowned and walked out of the bathroom, clicking the light off as she exited.

She stopped halfway into the guestroom and looked around. Baby things still decorated the room. The banner of small blue elephants parading through fluffy pink clouds was the thing that caught the most attention. Maddie sighed and walked the rest of the way inside. She slipped under the covers of the bed and turned off the lamp.

Since she had been home, Maddie had been in the master bedroom maybe four times. She just couldn't bring herself to sleep in there. In the bed that seemed so empty.

He hadn't called.

It had been three weeks and there was no call. No letter. No David.

Moving from her side to her back, Maddie carefully moved her arm, sending tiny shocks of pain down her side and through her chest. Gasping at the intensity of the pain, she closed her eyes and allowed the tears to slip out from under her closed lids.

When she opened her eyes next, she slowly reached over to the night table and got out four pain killers, swallowed them, and fell into a deep sleep.

~ ~ ~

Groggily, Maddie swam towards consciousness. In the back of her mind, she could hear soft footsteps in the hall and then the running of water in the master bathroom.

Finally able to open her eyes and sit up, she blinked several times before it fully registered where she was. She lay gingerly back on the bed, not wanting to cause herself anymore unnecessary pain.

The shower started and Maddie got out of bed, walking slowly to the door and inching it open. She peered out into the hallway and, seeing nothing, stepped out.

Reaching the master bedroom's double doors, she carefully turned the knob, uncertain to what her fate would be when she opened it.

Luggage sat by the bed, there were clothes strewn about the room, giving it a decidedly Addison quality, and the closet was open, revealing most of her clothes and some of David's. Maddie allowed a small smile before she frowned again.

Sitting quietly on the bed, she waited several minutes until he appeared in the doorway before she spoke, "Come back to pack?"

David shook his head and smiled sadly. "I couldn't stay away." Walking over to where she was sitting, he sat next to her and pulled his carry on into his lap. "I brought you a present."

Maddie turned and looked at him. "You left me," she whispered, hurt tingeing her voice. "You left, without explanation, without a proper goodbye. You just left."

He swallowed and nodded. "I was stupid." He looked down at his hands. "When I finally got around to unpacking at the hotel, I found this." He held up an article of clothing made of satin. "It took me all of fifteen minutes to throw everything back into the suitcase and book a flight."

He took a breath and looked around. "You haven't been sleeping in here...why?"

Maddie smiled. "I just couldn't."

There was an uncomfortable pause and then quietly, as if the words were her last, Maddie said. "You brought me something?"

David returned her smile and removed a box from the case sitting on his lap. "If you still want it, that is." He held it out to her.

Maddie took the box and opened it carefully. "All right, Addison. But this is the last time I'm saying yes." She slipped the ring onto her left finger and looked at it, before looking back up at him, with tears in her eyes.

He grinned, a grin that lit his face and set her very soul on fire. The grin that she'd fallen in love with. "Good, this is the last time I'm offering." He kissed her gently on the forehead and they held each other while mutual sobs wracked their bodies.

The mourning was over.

~ ~ ~

Maddie woke a few hours later, feeling better than she had in the three weeks that she had been home. Rolling over in the big bed, she encountered nothing but empty space. Confused, Maddie sat up and looked around the room.

The luggage was where they had left it, the closet still open, showing neat rows of shoes, and the room was no neater than it had been that morning.

Maddie smiled as she recalled him holding her after they finished crying. She thought that maybe he would want more. She had been prepared to tell him no. But he hadn't pressed, hadn't even asked, just held her.

Although it had never been about sex with them. Maybe in the beginning, but not now. Not ever again. Maddie stretched and got up, slipping her feet into the slippers by the bed.

Checking the bathroom and finding nothing, Maddie descended the stairs.

She found David in the kitchen, standing over the stove, frying bacon. He displayed the perfect picture in a navy blue muscle shirt and a pair of sweatpants. She walked over and slipped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his back.

David jumped slightly as slim arms encircled his waist from behind. He dropped the spatula onto the stove and took one of the arms, bringing a hand to his mouth and kissing it softly.

"I thought you were asleep," he whispered, still not turning to face her.

"I was. I was a little worried when I woke and you were gone." She kissed his shoulder through the thin fabric of his muscle shirt. "So I came looking for you."

"Well, you totally ruined the whole 'breakfast in bed' concept." He turned and kissed her lightly on the lips. "But maybe we can start our own concept." Leaning his forehead into hers, he whispered, "Morning."

Maddie grinned. "Morning." She kissed him. "This is the best morning I've had in three weeks." Her grin turned into a mischievous smile. "How about we make it better than that?"

"Better than that?" David feigned confusion. "How do you get better than that?"

She reached down and traced the inside of his thigh. "How quickly you seem to forget." Dragging her hand up his chest and resting it on his upper arm, she grinned again. "I can think of a thing or two that we could do to.....get the blood flowing, shall we say?"

"I'm afraid you'll have to show me, Ms. Hayes. You know how easily I forget." He kissed her. "So, how do we get the blood flowing?"

Maddie kissed him, lightly at first, then deeper. Her lips exploring his and vice versa. Three weeks of pent up passion and frustration coming out in one kiss.

They stumbled over to the island in the middle of the kitchen and before either knew what was happening, David was looming over her. Maddie smiled and they kissed again. She slipped out of the satin top she was wearing (not an easy task when you've got a man as big as David half lying on you) and flung it to the other side of the kitchen.

But, as it turned out, the feeling Maddie had been having since she woke had been right. She had forgotten to do something. Something important. And maybe if she hadn't forgotten, it would have turned out differently, but she did and it didn't.

"Ahh," Maddie cried out as David's lips touched her only half healed wound.

They both froze and in a flash, David was off of her, looking like he had just been caught doing something horrible. He grabbed his shirt from atop the blender and stalked out of the kitchen before Maddie could stop him.

Lying her head back against the cool surface of the island, the tears rose uninhibited to her eyes, "Damn damn damn damn." She muttered as she lay there.

She winced as the door slammed and then again as the car sped out of the driveway. Sighing, she sat up, wondering whether he'd be back.

~ ~ ~

David carefully unlocked the door and let himself in. He stopped when he saw that she was asleep on the couch, her legs tucked up under an afghan and her head pillowed by her arms.

He had hurt her again. And while that bothered him, it wasn't what bothered him the most. The biggest problem he had was he couldn't remember NOT to hurt her. As soon as it started, he forgot all about their past and all he could focus on were the present and the future.

Sighing, David walked over to the couch and sat on the table in front of it, watching her sleep. She looked like an angel. Younger than she was and so...angelic. He laughed at his loss for words.

The emotions she evoked in him were still new and a little frightening. Though it felt like he had loved her forever, no other woman had ever made him feel this way, and that was what scared him. She had the power to make him cry, she had the power to make his heart break.

Sighing again, he moved his fingers over her cheek, half tracing the tracks that her tears had left and half just needing to feel her warmth under his touch.

Maddie shifted and picked her head up. "Mmmm, David?"

"Yeah," he whispered, "I'm here."

She smiled faintly, still groggy from sleep. "I didn't think you were coming back." She frowned. "I wanted to wait for you, just in case."

The familiar rush of guilt assaulted David. "I'm sorry," he whispered, needing to hear her forgive him.

Maddie fell into sleep again, but not before three words escaped her lips, making him smile. "Not tonight, Addison."

He gingerly lifted her and carried her up the stairs, lying her on the bed. Since she hadn't gotten out of her pajamas that morning, there was no need to redress her, and David found this to be a good thing, as he wasn't sure he was ready for intimacy just yet.......

Covering her with the comforter, he stripped down to his boxers and climbed into the left side of the bed. He smiled as he remembered their first argument as roommates....

David set his suitcase down and took a flying leap onto the bed, he turned and grinned at Maddie, who was standing by the door smiling at him. "You know, this is a nice bed...even nicer than I remember."

She laughed. "Been awhile, eh?"

"Too long a while." He patted the right side of the bed and she walked over, sitting down. He pulled her to him and they lay like that for about two minutes, in each other's arms.

David finally got up and moved his suitcase over to the closet. "Which side is yours?"

Maddie propped herself up on one elbow. "The right side is mine, left is yours." She watched as he carefully hung his suits in the closet and then turned to her. "And the dresser?"

She responded with. "Right is mine, left is yours."

David looked at her quizzically and shook his head before emptying his clothes into the left side of the dresser and moving to the bathroom. "Let me guess, the drawers on the right are yours, and the ones on the left are mine?"

Maddie poked her head into the bathroom and smiled at him. "Yes."

He turned to face her. "You know, you might want to see someone about that."

She looked confused. "About what?"

"This affliction you seem to have about the left side of anything. You have the right side of the closet, the dresser, even the bathroom, is there something wrong with the left side of everything?" He pulled her to him and kissed her on the lips.

"No, I just like the right side, that's all."

"Uh-huh."

As they got ready for bed that night, each more nervous than they wanted to admit, David put his toothbrush into a hole in the toothbrush holder (incidentally, the left side) and called out to Maddie in the bedroom. "Which side of the bed do you sleep on?"

He responded with her, "Right. Maddie, really, this is weird."

"No more weird than your, "There always has to be chocolate milk in the house. Always." You don't think that's a bit odd?" she said, coming to the door of the bathroom, her hands planted firmly on her hips.

"That's more of an addiction than anything else." He shrugged and walked past her to the bedroom. "Anyway; at least I don't have to have it on the right side of the fridge." He pulled back the covers on the bed and climbed in....the right side.

"What are you doing?" she asked, appearing in the bedroom. "That's my side."

"I thought you said it didn't matter. That you didn't always have to have everything on the right side?" he questioned with raised eyebrows.

"I don't, but David, I sleep on the right side of the bed." She paused. "So move!"

"Tsk tsk, that any way to treat your room mate, roomie?" He laughed at the expression on her face. "Fine fine, if you must have the right side of everything, here...." David moved to the left side. "That better?"

"No, if you want the right side, fine, that's fine. I don't care. It's not like I have to have the right side; it's just a preference."

David watched, amused, while she got into bed and turned over so her back was to him. "Goodnight," she muttered, pulling the blanket farther to her side, yanking it off of him.

He waited a couple of minutes until he knew she was falling to sleep and slid himself to her side, pulling her onto her back and kissing her lips. "This is not what I expected on my first night here, you know."

Maddie tried to resist his insistent kisses but lost the battle with herself and responded with fervor. Afterwards, she lay atop his chest, her breathing finally returning to normal, she asked quietly, "Now can I have the right side?"

She felt the rumble of laughter in his chest. "Sweetheart, after that, you can have anything you want."

David smiled sadly, it seemed years ago that that had happened. He had readily given up the right side of the bed, finding quickly that trying to stay on opposite sides was futile anyway. Somehow, even after a major fight, they ended up sleeping in each other's arms.

And now he couldn't even touch her. Didn't want to touch her. Was afraid to touch her.

Turning onto his side, away from her, he closed his eyes and tried to lose himself in sleep, but all he lost was himself in a dream. A dream that included gunshots, and an endless beeping...

~ ~ ~

David jerked out of sleep, sweat pouring down his face and his heart beating a rapid staccato in his chest.

It had been so vividly real, so frighteningly lifelike. They always were. Every time he got there too late, and every time she died. He couldn't stand it much longer; it plagued him every night, until he was terrified to sleep.

In the weeks that he had been away, it had been the hardest, because when he woke after a dream, he couldn't go down the hall into her room and watch her sleep. The gentle rise and fall of her chest gave him the comfort he needed and he was able to fall asleep peacefully.

Now, he turned over onto his side and watched her sleep. Once again marveling at the openness on her face. She was never that open while she was awake, a mask slipped into place and even after knowing her for six years, he still couldn't get her to remove it.

He watched her until he became drowsy again, and finally drifted back to sleep, too exhausted to dream.

~ ~ ~

The weeks dragged by slowly, monotonous in themselves and causing both Maddie and David to become veritable strangers. He stayed at work until early morning and then came home, careful not to wake her while he readied for bed.

But she was never really asleep, not until she knew he was coming home did she have the nerve to close her eyes and attempt sleep. His leaving had affected her more than she wanted to, or would ever, admit.

And as the hours turned to days and the days to weeks, they saw less and less of each other. Maddie kept company with books and the television. David threw himself into work, taking case after case, finally understanding what had driven Maddie to do it the last time tragedy struck.

He left before she woke and came home after she was in bed, silently turning off the television and getting into bed, careful not to wake her.

Every night, sobs wracked her body. She was sometimes able to hold off until he was asleep, but others, she couldn't.

Maddie didn't think he noticed, it was either that or believe that he didn't care, and she couldn't bring herself to think that. She was wrong on both accounts. He noticed, and while her tears fell at night, with him lying just inches away, his own fell silently.

~ ~ ~

Maddie jerked out of sleep as David clicked off the television. She had fallen asleep lying on the bed, on top of the covers, but he would rather leave her like that than wake her and risk an encounter. He had done it many times, and it made her sad.

She watched him move about the room, every now and then glancing in her direction, making sure he didn't wake her.

But the silence is what woke her, the darkness. She couldn't stand the darkness. Never in her life had Maddie been afraid of the dark. As a child, she'd never been able to sleep with a night-light because it created shifting shadows throughout the room, and that gave her the creeps.

Now, though, the dark seemed to be a hole, and Maddie was afraid that if she wasn't careful, the hole would swallow her. David had begged her to talk to someone in the weeks proceeding the 'accident' and his homecoming, but she had been adamant about not seeing anyone.

She was more worried about David then she was about herself. Ever since he had come home, he had been distant. There was no more playfulness about him, it was as if this whole ordeal had broken him, and no matter how hard she tried, he just wouldn't talk about it.

"David?" She said his name softly, not wanting to startle him, only wanting to get his attention.

David whipped around; his heart beat quickening at the sound of her voice. He stared at her for a few seconds, taking in her sleepy appearance. Her hair was mussed and her clothes were in disarray from the tossing and turning in her sleep.

"David?" She spoke it again and he shuddered, wondering if he'd ever get tired of hearing his name on her lips. "David, do you want to talk?"

He sat on the edge of the bed and shrugged slightly. "I thought we had."

Maddie sighed deeply, sitting up. "David, we've been like strangers ever since it happened. Even when you came home." She put her hand on his shoulder and he jerked away, as if burned. Maddie sighed again, this time in hurt and confusion. "Why won't you touch me?" she asked quietly, almost fearing the answer.

He didn't reply at first, and Maddie felt the fear rise until it was almost choking her. "David.... please, talk to me."

David sighed in frustration, "I was so scared. I had this dream.... it was awful. God, Maddie, you were dead. And I know that that's no excuse, because you're not dead now, because you weren't dead ever, really, but I was so damn scared.

"I'm trying, and God knows that I'm trying. But every time I look at you, I see you lying there, still and...oh my God, there was so much blood. I've never seen that much blood. I didn't even know there was that much blood in a person.

"You were so still, and I stood there, like an idiot. I should have been able to protect you better. It's just one more reminder that I'm not good enough for you. That maybe this was never meant to be." he got up from his seat on the bed and walked a few feet away from her.

Maddie stood, infuriated. "That's why you stayed when I left. What the hell do you want from me? Do you want me to tell you that it's fine that you feel this way. That after all that we've been through together, meant to each other, it's fine with me if you want to leave again?" she pointed to the door, "Well, fine, Addison. That's just fine. You get out, I don't need you here, and I certainly don't want you here if that's not what you want.

"My God, David. I'm not saying that I want your pity, or anything like that. But something other than this conversation is in order, I think. It's been a year, David. A year since he died, and I'll grant you, it hasn't been a good year, but the past two months have been great. I don't want to lose that.

"I don't want to lose you. But I don't want to keep you here if that's not what you want. If you want to leave, that giant rectangular thing in the wall is a door. And it swings out, don't let it hit you in the ass when you leave." she could feel her temper rising, all the emotion that she'd been holding in check came bursting forward in a sudden rush of adrenalin and the tears welled in her eyes.

"All you seem to be thinking of is yourself, but David, I lost someone too! In fact, I haven't just lost one someone, I've lost three of them. Including you. Everyday, I see you walk in here, and you take off your clothes, and you climb into bed, and you turn over and go to sleep.

"You refuse to touch me, and most of the time, you refuse to look at me. As if the sight of me fills you with pain. And, David, if that's what I do to you, leave now." a solitary tear rolled down her cheek, "When I look at you, I don't see the past, I see the future. I don't see all that has gone wrong, been said wrong, done wrong. I see what can go right, be said right, done right."

David took everything she'd said in, feeling his own raw emotions rush to the surface. He started out softly, knowing that his voice would rise with each word he uttered. "The sight of you doesn't fill me with pain. And yes, the past two months before......were the best in a long time. But maybe that's all that they were, and maybe we're just not meant to be.

"When you collapsed at the baby shower....it was the most terrifying moment of my life. Until I stood in the room watching your chest rise and fall, and praying every time that it wouldn't be the last time. I felt so guilty when you were in the hospital after the shower, after....

"I kept telling myself that I was justified, that every man must think what I was thinking after that happens. But the guilt just kept rushing back at me. I was just so glad that it wasn't you. That if one of you had to go, that it was him. And if that makes me the worst person in the world, so be it. But I was just so grateful that he spared you.

"I'm not afraid to touch you, I'm terrified," he whispered, blinking through the haze his tears had created in the dark room.

Maddie reached out and took his hand, placing it on her chest, over her heart, she murmured, "I'm not glass, David. I'm not going to break." She brought his hand up to her face and he cupped her cheek. "Please," she whispered almost inaudibly.

The barely spoken word was David's undoing, and all of the tension, the frustration, the sadness, and the hurt came rushing out in one passionate moment. As David kissed a trail down Maddie's neck, she smiled, this was what happened when you waited too long to show your emotions. And while it wasn't unpleasant in the least, she wouldn't recommend it.

"Please," the word passed her lips again and she felt herself being picked up, suspended in midair, and then his lips were on hers again, but now they were lying down. She pulled his shirt out of his pants, and started to unbutton it. "Please," she repeated, the word becoming a mantra.

David kissed her again, reveling in the wonderfully awful emotions he felt for this woman. It was amazing to him that she still had this awesome power of his feelings. He tugged on her sweater, breaking their kiss to yank it over her head.

He stopped when he saw the scar. The reminder of the near death experience that had touched them both so deeply and emotionally.

Seeing that they weren't going any further, Maddie looked deep into his eyes and slowly brought his fingers to her lips, kissing them lightly and pressing them to the still sensitive tissue on her chest. David winced as his fingers came into contact with her skin.

As the heat from her body invaded his cold, clammy hands, a dam broke and he leaned down, pressing his lips to her warm skin. He kissed her scar, and later Maddie would say in fondness that he had kissed and worshiped every inch of her body that night, as if he was afraid that it was all a dream and that she'd be gone in the morning.

As the climax finally came for both of them, David rested his head on Maddie's shoulder, breathing heavily. Not being able to hold back any more, his body shook with heaving sobs.

Surprised, Maddie held him as tightly as she could, not completely understanding his tears but knowing enough to let him finish.

They slept curled into each other that night, as if each was afraid the other would disappear at some point, never to be seen again.

But it was Maddie that awoke to a cold bed the next morning, the pillow next to hers still bore a faint imprint of his head. Sitting up with alarming quickness, Maddie threw the covers off of herself, not even noticing the too big sweater of David's that she didn't remember putting on, and jumped off of the bed, feeling the panic set in.

The knobs creaked as the water in the bathroom was turned on, and she drew in a breath of relief, sitting back down on the bed. She listened as the shower ran, none of the usual sounds slipped from under the door this morning. There was no off key singing, and no shouts for her to join him, just the sound of water beating down onto the tile floor.

Somehow, this intrusion of silence made Maddie want to scream, yell, and throw things at the nearest moving target. But mostly, it made her want to weep. Lying back down on the bed, she pulled David's pillow beneath her arm, burying her face in the covered feathers, breathing in his aftershave. Her tears started falling as the afternoon rain fell outside, and she blamed the ugly day for the moisture on her cheeks.

~ ~ ~

David let the water stream over his body. The hot water made his skin glow a bright red and his fingers were starting to wrinkle. He frowned at his hands, as if silently scolding them for making him give up his sanctuary of the bathroom.

Ten minutes later, the water turning a rather unpleasant freezing cold, David turned the water off and shivered as he stepped from the shower. He wrapped a towel around his waist and took another one, rubbing his head with it.

David opened the door cautiously, peering around the corner into the bedroom. When he saw that she was lying on the bed, seemingly asleep, he walked the rest of the way into the room. He watched her sleep, covering her with the comforter and pulling a chair up to the side of the bed.

There were tear tracks running down her cheeks, and David sighed, knowing that their conversation from last night was not finished by any means.

Maybe he should just leave now. While she was asleep, save them both the awkwardness of saying goodbye. He'd have to forego the two weeks notice at the agency, but it might be the best thing in the long run. He didn't want to cause her any unnecessary pain this time, and leaving quietly might help that.

But there was still the fact that he'd be hurting her anyway with leaving. She had made it perfectly clear last night that she wanted him only if he wanted her back. Last night would fix the thought that he didn't, that was for sure.

Although he was almost positive that's not what she meant. He knew that she meant that he should stay only if he wanted to, only if he loved her.

And God, did he love her. He loved her so much it hurt him to think about it too hard. When ever he looked at her, it was all he could do not to grin like a bumbling idiot. He ran his hand over hers, over the ring around her left finger.

The fact that she had taken it back at all amazed him. After the stunt he had pulled at the airport in Chicago, he was betting that she'd laugh in his face and tell him to get the hell out.

But he should have known better. Maddie never did what he expected, when he expected.

He shook his head. Spontaneity. He smiled wryly, whoda thunk it?

Lost in his thoughts, David didn't notice when Maddie opened her red rimmed eyes and looked at him. Her blue eyes sparkling like sapphire from the tears that had been shed. She watched him for over five minutes, slightly amused at the seriousness on his face; but only slightly.

David shook his head, focusing his eyes and starting when he met the intense blue gaze. "I thought you were asleep," he whispered with a small smile.

Maddie sat up, propping her pillow behind her and hugging David's to her chest. "I was," she replied with a shrug.

An awkward silence followed, until Maddie sighed irritably. "This is ridiculous," she muttered, "you're going to catch pneumonia if you don't put some clothes on."

David glanced down at himself, surprised to see that he was still in the towel. He laughed. "I'll go change." He got up from his place by the bed and walked over to the dresser, pulling out a pair of boxer shorts and a tank top.

"Be right back," he promised as he walked into the bathroom to change.

"Right," Maddie mumbled, closing her eyes and pressing her thumb and forefinger against the bridge of her nose.

They had done it again. When would they learn that sex didn't fix things, it only made it more uncomfortable and unwilling. Unwilling in some aspects, in others it made them more willing.

Groaning slightly, Maddie slumped down in the bed and pulled the covers over her head, blocking out the morning sunlight. She didn't hear David as he came back into the room, nor did she hear when he resumed his seat by the bed.

She did, however, notice when he pulled the sheet and comforter back, letting the bright light shine on Maddie's face. She winced and sat up again. "Oh, you're back."

"What an astute observation," he replied dryly, smirking. His expression became grim again. "We need to talk."

"Gee, what an astute observation," she mocked with a slight smile.

David smiled. "Yeah." He moved from the chair and sat on the side of the bed instead. Refusing to meet her gaze, he asked quietly, "Are we going to be ok?"

The softness mixed with the fear in his voice slowly broke Maddie's heart. He just sat there, his hand covering hers, staring down at the comforter, unwilling to meet her eyes.

"I wish I could tell you yes. I wish that I could make this go away for you, for both of us, but the truth is if I told you that we're going to be fine, I'd be lying." He jerked his head up at this and Maddie held a hand up, silencing whatever he was going to say. "This silent treatment you've been giving me, it's not helping."

David stood. "You're going to sit there and tell me that there's not a chance for us? We've been through tough things before, Maddie, you're going to throw that away?"

She could see the anger building up and was quick to scoot off of the bed and stand before him, "I'm not saying I want to call it quits, David. I'm not saying anything like that." She sighed and tilted his chin up so she could see his eyes. "I said yes, and I meant yes."

He offered a small smile and Maddie continued. "But this not talking for weeks and letting the emotion build up until that," she gestured to the rumpled bed, "can't be good for us. And as pleasurable as it was," he grinned at this, "I don't want it to happen like that again."

She put her arms around his waist and hugged him. "I love you," she said softly, her words muffled against his chest.

David smiled and wrapped his arms around her. "I know," he whispered into the sunbathed room. "I love you too."

~ ~ ~

Four hours later, David finally emerged from the bedroom, hurrying down the stairs in nothing but the closest thing to the bed; Maddie's silk robe.

Thinking he'd only be a moment, he had ignored Maddie's laughter and thrown it on anyway, walking out of the bedroom with his head held high. Once he was standing in the kitchen, shifting from one foot to the other, he wished that he'd gotten her slippers too.

As he grabbed the half empty ice cream container and two beers, the doorbell chimed. David set everything down on the table and looked down at himself, laughing.

Shaking his head, he walked out of the kitchen, his head not so high any more, and peeked out the window, trying to see who was at the door. He grinned again when he recognized the black haired woman. Forgetting what he wore, David pulled the door open.

"Terri!" Someone else appeared behind her and David's smile faltered. "And Walter." He recovered and stepped back, sweeping his hand. "Come in."

Terri and Walter walked into the room and Terri laughed, looking David up and down. "I love the robe, Addison, got another one in Walter's size?"

David looked down at himself and grinned. "I'm afraid you'll have to ask- -"

"David?" Maddie's voice floated down the stairs. "Was that the doorbell?" She appeared on the balcony, a frown adorning her face. "Oh my." Covering her mouth with a hand to try to contain a giggle, her words were muffled, "Terri, Walter...."

David smiled up at her. "Yeah, that was the doorbell." He looked back at the two amused people standing before him. "I'll be just a minute." He smiled and hurried towards the stairs, taking them two at a time.

Maddie disappeared from the balcony and the master bedroom's doors slammed shut, then there was a burst of laughter before she reappeared, "We'll be right down." At Terri's nod, Maddie laughed again and walked back into the bedroom.

Terri and Walter shared a secret and knowing smile and sat on the couch, waiting for Maddie and David to come back down.

A few moments later, Maddie came down the stairs, a huge smile plastered on her face. "I'm sorry about earlier, we weren't exactly expecting company."

David appeared at the foot of the stairs. "Yeah, I would have put on the matching gown if I'd known you were coming." He hugged Terri and shook Walter's hand. "How goes it?"

Terri nodded. "It's going, that's for sure. Look at you two," she gestured to Maddie, "she can't stop smiling," she looked at David, "and you were wearing women's nightwear. Do we even need to ask what's been going on?"

Maddie blushed and David grinned. "We just got.....up," he said, jerking his head toward the stairs.

Walter looked at his watch. "It's three o'clock in the afternoon," he said, looking back up at the couple, who were looking at each other.

Terri rolled her eyes and hugged Maddie. "How are you?" she asked quietly.

Maddie pulled back and grinned. "Much better, thank you. We actually are both much better." She looked at David and her grin widened.

"Couldn't be better," he added with a smile of his own.

Terri and Walter exchanged bemused glances and shrugged at each other.

~ ~ ~

Maddie and David watched out the window as Terri and Walter got into the car and drove off. David wrapped his arms around Maddie and rested his chin on her shoulder. "It's hard to believe."

"What is?" Maddie asked, leaning back into him.

"If it weren't for us, those two would never have met," he said, kissing the side of her neck. "I wish they had had a proper wedding though, you suppose Wally has something against those?"

Maddie turned and punched him lightly in the stomach. "No, I think it was a romantic idea." She slowly rubbed her hand over where she had just punched him. "Not that I'd want to do it.......again." smiling mischievously at him, she started toward the staircase.

"Again?" he exclaimed with a twinkle in his eye.

"What's the matter, Addison? Can't keep up?" She walked the rest of the way up the stairs, ignoring his reaction.

David made it back to bed in record speed.

~ ~ ~

"Maddie?" David shook her shoulder lightly, trying to wake her. "Maddie, wake up." She stirred slightly and burrowed further into his chest. He grinned, tempted to just let her sleep.

"Mmmm, David?" Maddie picked her head up and glanced around the room, finally coming to rest on David's face mere inches from hers. "What time is it?"

"Good morning to you too," he muttered good naturedly. "It's nine, and if we don't get up soon, we're going to be late for your doctor's appointment."

Maddie stretched her body and lazily dragged her leg up his. "We've been late before......" She kissed his chest and smiled up at him.

He shook his head and lifted her off of him. "Not today, this is too important to be late for, now, get dressed and let's go."

She just sat and watched him. "You're turning into a regular drill sergeant, you know that?" she asked irritably as she scooted off of the bed.

David walked over to the bed and kissed her. "I know. It's kind of fun to be in charge for once." He winked at her and left the room quickly, before the pillow even left her hand.

Maddie came down the stairs and stopped, smiling at the image of David sitting placidly on the couch reading the paper. Coming all the way down, she walked into the living room and grabbed the paper out of his hand. "Careful, Addison, you almost look normal."

He smiled up at her. "Can't have that, can we?" He looked at her closely, "You OK? You look a bit pale."

She pulled her gaze away from his and took the car keys off of the table. "I'm fine, if we don't leave, we're going to be late." The subject changed, she walked out the door before he could reply.

David followed her, perplexed. "Maddie," he said as he got in the car and started the engine, "are you sure you're ok?"

"Yes, David, I'm fine. Let's go, OK?" Leaning her head back against the seat, Maddie breathed deeply, trying to ignore the nausea.

The next thing Maddie knew, David was waking her again to take her into the doctor's office. "I'm sorry, David, I must have fallen asleep."

"Must have," he said with mock seriousness. "Of course, it could be caused by the fact that we didn't get that much sleep last night."

Maddie rolled her eyes. "Come on, we'll be late."

"You know, from a woman that said just a short half hour ago, "We've been late before......" you sure are worried about being late now." He smiled and took her hand. "You do realize that I have to go to work after this, so hurrying it won't get you....."

"David!"

".....any faster," he finished with a smirk.

Maddie sighed, exasperated, and walked into the doctor's office, David trailing slightly behind, whistling.

She was already seated when he walked in, and he sat next to her, taking her hand in his and bringing it to his lips. "Everything OK?" he asked as he always did once they were seated here.

Maddie nodded almost without thinking. She was a bit worried about him. He had become overly protective of her lately, and while she understood that, it was a little too much to handle at once. She didn't know how to tell him he was slowly stifling her with his constant, 'Are you ok?'s and 'How are you feeling's.

"Madolyn Hayes?"

The nurses voice broke through Maddie's thoughts and she got up, patting David's hand as she did so. "I'll be out in a few minutes."

David nodded and leaned back in his seat as he watched her walk through the door to an examining room. This was their third visit in the last seven weeks, and he knew the routine by heart.

She went in by herself. There was an examination. Then the doctor came out and got him, leading him back to the examining room.

But this time, Maddie came out of the door about twenty minutes later, the doctor with her. "David, I'm ready."

David stood and looked at her questioningly before shaking the doctor's hand. "Did I miss something?" He didn't smile, but he didn't frown. "Am I going to want to sit down?"

Maddie smiled and slipped her arm around his waist. "No, there's nothing wrong, they just did a few blood tests.......everything seems fine."

The doctor nodded. "She seems to be healing just fine." He turned to Maddie. "We will want to see you again in about three weeks, you should be completely healed by then, and remember, no work for another week." Shaking her hand and then David's again, the doctor disappeared back the way he had come.

David and Maddie walked out of the doctor's office hand in hand, each lost in their own thoughts. They were halfway home when he finally broke the silence. "What do you want to do for dinner tonight?"

Maddie shrugged. "Anything is fine with me, I haven't been feeling well the last couple of days, I think I might be getting a cold."

He nodded and pulled into the driveway, cutting off the engine. "I'll see you later tonight, OK?" He kissed her quickly on the lips and waited until she was safely within the house before pulling out again.

~ ~ ~

David pulled into the driveway at two-thirty the next morning, turning the headlights out in hopes that it wouldn't wake the slumbering woman in the house.

He crept inside and carefully put down his briefcase before wearily climbing the staircase. Peeking into the bedroom, he saw that Maddie had fallen asleep with the television on and a magazine propped on her knees. Smiling tenderly, David removed the magazine and turned off the television before stripping down to nothing but a smile and climbing in next to her.

Maddie shivered as her skin was exposed to the cool air and rolled toward the new warmth. Curving herself into David's body, she sighed contentedly and moved her head to kiss his mouth. "You're late," she muttered.

David laughed slightly. "Yeah, but I wrapped up that case I told you about." Pulling her more firmly against him, he started to slip the nightgown that she wore to bed off. "That leaves me free until about twelve tomorrow."

Maddie turned over, facing him on her side. "That's wonderful......."

They fell asleep tangled together, blissfully happy.

~ ~ ~

"Maddie?"


Maddie jumped and turned around, her hand pressed to her chest. "God, David, you scared me." She looked down at herself, "Do I look OK?"

He walked toward her and started to unbutton her blouse. Maddie pulled back, swatting at his hands. "What ARE you doing?"

David grinned at her. "If I gotta tell ya...." He started unbuttoning again.

"David...we don't have time for this, we're running late," she said, pushing on his chest to no avail. David finished unbuttoning her blouse and slipped it off of her shoulders, throwing it behind him on the bed. He reached around her, unsnapping her bra, then it too joined the blouse on the bed.

Maddie shivered in the cool air. "David, really......."

But David was absorbed in the act of unbuttoning his own shirt, too busy to hear what she was saying. He pulled it off and, like a parent dressing a child, proceeded to put it on Maddie. He deftly buttoned it again, this time on her body, and then reached around her and undid the zipper on the back of her skirt.

As the skirt pooled down around Maddie's ankles, she shivered again, wondering where he was going with the whole thing. Also curious as to whether he was going to discard his pants and give her his boxers too.

To her disappointment, he walked over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of silk pajama bottoms. Walking back over to her, he shoved them into her hands. "Put these on," he demanded.

Maddie stared at him. "Yes, your butt headedness, you want to tell me what you think you're doing?" She planted her hands on her hips and stared at him.


"Put the pants on first," he said, his tone leaving no room for argument.

"Sir yes sir," she muttered as she slipped into the pants. Once she had them on, she lifted her head and glared at him. "Now will you tell me what the hell you think you're doing?"

David led her over to the bed and pointed to it, indicating she should sit. Sighing heavily, Maddie sat on the edge and continued glaring.

He knelt in front of her, on one knee, and Maddie grinned and held up her left hand. "You've already done this, Addison."

Gripping her hand in his own, he stared earnestly into her eyes. "The doctor said eight weeks, Maddie. It's been seven."

Her glare disappearing, Maddie covered his hand with hers. "I can't sit at home every day, I have to get out and do something." She leaned down and kissed him. "I'm fine, I just want to go back to work." As she started to get up, David pushed her back down.

"Fine, you're fine. I get that. But, Maddie, I'm not fine. Call me paranoid, OK? For my benefit, stay home another week." He smiled at her. "Please?"

Maddie sighed. "Yeah, fine. I'll stay home another week, but on one condition."

David furrowed his brow. "And what would that be?"

"You bring me home some casework, files, something. I'm getting tired of sitting doing nothing, and I think I've read all the books in the house." She grinned up at him. "And my other....extra curricular activity is at work." She got up and pulled him to his feet, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Speaking of that..."

"What, your extra activity or work?" He pulled her body into his. "Because I'll tell you one thing, work is the last thing on my mind." He pushed her back until her knees hit the edge of the bed and they fell, David rolling so Maddie landed on top of him instead of the other way around.

This time, it was Maddie doing the unbuttoning.

~ ~ ~

David got off of the elevator and began his walk down the familiar hallway. When the door came into view, he ran his hand through his hair and put on his best smile, then walked in.

"Good morning troops." He grinned and put his briefcase on top of Agnes' cubicle. "How are we this morning?"

Agnes smiled, "Great Mr. Addison. How's Ms. Hayes?"

"Happier than a drunk sloth in a vat of Jell-O," he replied, eliciting a giggle. "In fact, the last time I saw her, she was lying down, taking a nap, I believe. Been doing those.......what did she call them? Oh yeah, extra curricular activities." He winked and headed to his office.

"Mr. Addison?"

He turned around. "Yes, Ms. DiPesto?"

"When I tried to call this morning, your phone was busy....don't you have call waiting?" she asked, confused.

"Yes, we do, Ms. DiPesto," he said, continuing his way to his office.

"Then the phone must have been off the hook," she said, more to herself than to him.

David turned and walked back over to her desk. "For a good reason, Ms. DiPesto." Leaning down, he whispered loudly, "You see, the phone is right by the bed......." Winking, he turned and disappeared into his office.

~ ~ ~

At a quarter to five, David emerged from his office, looking over the staff with a smile, he walked over to a nearby desk and jumped onto it. "Attention, staff of Blue Moon," he called out. Every head turned in his direction. "I would like to announce a new tradition we will have here."

There were murmurs throughout the crowd of employees. "Yes, that's what I said, a new tradition. Now, today is the first of February, so we're going to have a short day." He received nothing but blank stares. "Everyone can go home."

All of the staff exchanged glances and shrugged at each other, before gathering their things and exiting the office. David stayed on the desk and watched them go. When Agnes was the only one left, he hopped down and headed back into his office.

"Mr. Addison?"

"Yes, Ms. DiPesto?"

"Is everything OK?" she asked, worry tingeing her voice.

David walked over to her and took her hands. "Great great, Ms. DiPesto," he whispered before leaning in and kissing her on the cheek. Then, picking up his briefcase, he began whistling and followed the path that the crowd had just taken.

Getting in to the BMW and adjusting the mirrors to his liking, David switched the radio on and sang along with the music as he drove home.

He pulled into the driveway and sat for a moment, taking in the house.

He was still amazed that he lived here. He had never thought he would live someplace like this, his apartment had been his highest achievement. Smiling, he got out of the car and walked to the door. Now this was his greatest achievement.

David unlocked the door and walked in. "Hi honey, I'm home," he yelled with a grin. When he got no response, he walked further into the room. "Maddie?" Starting to become concerned, David threw his jacket and briefcase down on the couch and hurried through the door to the kitchen.

She was seated at the table, crying. David stood watching her for a moment, curious as to what could have possibly upset her. He finally moved tentatively toward her. "Maddie, you ok?"

Maddie jumped at the sound of his voice and got up hurriedly from the chair, wiping her eyes. "I didn't realize you were home," she said, walking over to the counter and making a cup of coffee.

David walked up behind her, taking the cup out of her hands and turning her around to face him. "What's wrong?" he asked quietly.

She hugged him, resting her head on his shoulder, her arms around his waist. He just held her for the next few moments, confused at this sudden display of emotion. "Maddie, are you ok?" he questioned again, pulling away slightly. He wiped a tear from her cheek and smiled lightly.

Maddie nodded, feeling rather silly. "The doctor called this morning," she whispered.

David's face lost all color and his smile disappeared. "What's wrong?" he repeated. "What did he say?" Panic took up residence in his chest in the seconds before she answered.

"Nothing. I'm fine. Really." She sighed. "I just....wasn't expecting, well, I wasn't expecting to be expecting." She smiled at him. "Understand?"

David grinned and nodded, hugging her tightly.

They hadn't been trying to have another baby, in fact, they had talked about not having another baby. Maddie wasn't sure David could take the emotional stress again, and vice versa. But, then again, they hadn't exactly done anything to prevent it, either.

David pulled away from her and grinned. "How long?"

Maddie smiled back at him. "About three hours," she said, misunderstanding his question.

His grin turned into an expression of confusion. "Maddie, as good as we are, we aren't THAT good," he said, leaning in to kiss her lightly on the lips.

She pulled back, smiling. "Six weeks," she whispered right as he started to kiss her again. A few minutes later, he was eyeing the island in the middle of the kitchen.

Maddie could see what he was thinking and before she could protest, she was on her back on the island. She giggled and David raised his head from her neck to look at her. "What?" he asked breathlessly.

She smiled. "I always say that you should finish what you start."

David chuckled and kissed her lightly. "Me too....." He kissed her again, and they lost themselves in feeling.

~ ~ ~

"I think I just achieved another greatest achievement," David muttered to himself as he lay on the cold tile floor.

Maddie smiled and shivered as she pulled David's sweater over her head and down around her body. She looked over at David just a scant twelve inches away and shook her head, the tile was freezing, and yet he lay there, almost completely naked, seemingly oblivious.

She stood and pulled the sweater further down on her legs, it draped her small body and ended mid thigh. Stretching the muscles in her back, she leaned down and pulled David to his feet to stand beside her. "You know, if we're going to make this a habit, we ought to put a rug down or something," he said, pulling her against him playfully.

Maddie turned and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Give me another three months and you won't want to even touch me," she whispered into his ear. "But I'll see what I can do about the rug."

David kissed her on the nose and let her go, bending down to pick up his discarded pants. He stood back up and stretched, the bones in his back cracking.

"I think I might go take a shower," she voiced, looking at him with a mischievous grin. "You game?" Without waiting for an answer, Maddie walked out of the kitchen and started up the stairs.

David grinned and flung his pants over his shoulder, he walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs, disappearing behind the bathroom door.

~ ~ ~

Maddie emerged from the bathroom more relaxed than she had felt in a long time. With her hair hanging in wet ringlets down to her shoulders and a towel securely wrapped around her body, she walked over to her dresser and opened the top drawer, pulling out a silk night gown.

She was about to shut the drawer when she happened to glance over and see David's heart patterned boxers lying there. Looking over her shoulder in the direction of the bathroom, she grinned and placed the silk back in the drawer.

Walking over to the closet, she picked out one of David's many dress shirts and gathered it with the heart boxers.

David walked out of the bathroom a few minutes later, wearing a pair of sweatpants and no shirt. He stopped in the doorway when he saw Maddie in bed.


Not that he froze every time he saw her, just this time. Normally, she wore a silk night gown (which, to tell you the truth, didn't stay on long, and he didn't know why she bothered) but tonight, she was lying on top of the covers, her knees drawn up and a book resting on them. But that's not what made him stop.

She was wearing his clothing.

Maddie could feel his eyes on her, and she knew that he was wondering why on earth she would wear his clothes to bed, but she kept on reading, only allowing a small smile to creep over her face. David sat down on the bed and took the book away from her, placing his head in place of it.

"I just must have the name of your tailor, Ms. Hayes," he said, looking up at her with a smile.

Maddie laughed lightly. "Your clothes are more comfortable than mine," she explained. "Of course, if you want me to take them off....." She touched her fingers to the top button and slipped it out of its button hole.

David grinned. "Do you even have to ask?" He brought his hands up and redid the button again. "But tonight, I think I can content myself with just holding you."

Maddie smiled tenderly at him and nodded. They got up from the bed and pulled back the covers, then climbing under them and scooting together. David fell asleep a few minutes after she did, a smile lighting up his face.

Four Months and Six Weeks After David's Homecoming

"Is that her?"

Maddie sighed in exasperation. "It might be a boy, David."

Smiling, Dr. Michelle Hopkins looked at the couple before her and moved the transducer back and forth over Maddie's abdomen. "That's her...or him."

"Is he...or she....healthy?" Worry laced her voice and she exchanged a quick glance with David.

"Everything seems just fine. You have a very healthy baby." She paused and looked over at the parents. "Would you like to know the sex?"

They exchanged quick glances again before Maddie answered. "I don't think so."

Dr. Hopkins smiled. "I understand, I didn't want to know on my first either. Would you like to hear the heartbeat?"

As both mother and father nodded, Michelle's smile widened. Turning on the small speaker located on the top of the monitor, a small 'lub dub, lub dub' filled the air.

David reached for Maddie's hand, squeezing it tightly as he watched the monitor. They had created that. He looked down at Maddie's swollen abdomen. There was a person in there, they had created that! Tears filled his eyes and he wiped at them hastily, embarrassed.

Leaning in close to Maddie's ear, he whispered, "If this is what happens when we stop fighting, it's worth it." Bringing her hand to his lips, he kissed it. "I love you."

The tears spilled onto her cheeks and she didn't bother wiping at them as she nodded. "I know," she whispered back.

Michelle sat back, amazed at the obvious emotion this couple had for one another. Feeling her own eyes fill with tears, she blinked rapidly and sniffed. "Would you two like a picture?"

They answered in unison, "Yes."

They left the doctor's office hand in hand, their baby resting peacefully in its mother, and its pictures resting close to its father's heart.

This baby was blessed.

Eight Months and Six Weeks After David's Homecoming

The alarm blasted from the bedside table and both Maddie and David jerked out of sleep. David reached over and picked it up, completing his morning ritual of throwing the offending object across the room. After, he rolled over and kissed Maddie on the cheek, mumbling a soft, "Good morning," and then lightly stroking her stomach.

It was getting harder and harder to get out of bed every day, but Maddie managed to sit up and swing her legs over the side of the bed. She stretched and stood slowly, bracing her swollen stomach with one hand.

David's voice floated in through the bathroom. "Yo, Goldilocks, we're going out to dinner tonight."

Maddie walked over to the bathroom door (waddled would be a more appropriate word, but we don't want to be mean) and leaned against the doorjamb. "We are, are we?" She watched him drag the razor across his cheek.

"We are," he stated. "We haven't been out in weeks, and I think it's time."

Maddie walked into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet seat. "We haven't been out because I look like a fat cow and I'd rather not run into anyone I know." She looked down at her left hand, her ring finger.

David caught this gesture and turned away from his shaving. "You having second thoughts?" he asked her.

Maddie looked up and smiled. "About getting married? No." She sighed. "About waiting? Yes." She sighed again. "I feel kind of....I don't know."

He knelt in front of her, a look of seriousness on his face. "If that's how you feel....Nevada isn't that far, let's go get married."

She grinned at him, the shaving cream that was smeared across his face making it hard for her to take him seriously. "No, I want to do it right this time." Her smile softened. "Besides, you look hot in a tuxedo." She kissed him on the cheek, getting shaving cream on her lips.

~ ~ ~

David helped Maddie out of the BMW and shut the door behind her. Holding hands, they walked to the entrance of the restaurant and entered.

They were seated almost immediately, an intimate table in the back corner. Dinner went smoothly, they discussed wedding plans, who to invite ("Maddie, he's not going to want to come." / "David! He's your brother!") who not to invite ("No! Absolutely not." / "But Maddie, she's your cousin!")

As the meal came to a close, David paid the check and they stood to leave. Halfway to the door, Maddie felt a sharp pain that she recognized all too well start in her abdomen and travel up her side, making her double over in pain. She clutched at David, praying that this wasn't what it felt like.

She felt like she was in a flashback as she knelt on the ground, holding her protruding stomach and gasping at the pain. Except this time there was no music in the background, and the people around her weren't her employees and friends, but complete strangers.

David was screaming at the top of his lungs for someone to "Call a God damn ambulance" and Maddie wanted to scold him for using that kind of language but she didn't have the breath or the strength.

Not being able to even kneel any longer, she leaned heavily on David and closed her eyes, feeling the tears well up.

Everything seemed to swim before her when she opened them the next time, and the last thing she saw was David's face, then everything went black.