FFX BOOT CAMP
Hi. I'm back. And yes, I am alive. I just didn't write anything new for a while due to my stupid writer's block and my bio being totally @ #$%ed up. Hopefully, this is a good fic and you people will review. With school out in a few days for me, I might write more fics. If my damn writer's block dissapears. And I get lots of nice reviews. Anyways...
Welcome to FFX Boot Camp! For those dumbasses who don't know what boot camp is, it's a place where people go to experience harsh army-style crap. Anyways, the FFX crew is of course going to be in a boot camp. At the end of every chapter, someone will get kicked off the camp until one person remains--the winner. I think there was a show like this, but whatever. I'm not trying to copy. So here's the fic.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. And I'm only posting one disclaimer for this fic. *gets whacked with a hammer* Ow... Okay, fine.
~*~*~
The FFX crew is shown. They're all getting off a bus.
Yuna: I don't get this. Why are we going to boot camp? Did we do something bad?
Tidus: *thinking to himself* Uh oh... Everyone saw me spying on Yuna in the shower and they told the police and that's why I'm in a boot camp...
Wakka: *thinking to himself* Dammit... Everyone must have seen me looking through porno of female Blitzball stars and reported me to the police and sticked me into a boot camp, ya?
Auron: *thinking to himself* Ah, @#$%^&*... Everyone probably saw me get drunk at the Al Bhed strip club and told the police...
Kimahri: *thinking to himself* I like cheese.
Yuna: Well, everyone? What did you do?
Tidus: Uh... What did YOU do?
Yuna: *thinking to herself* No! Tidus knows that I was taking porno shots of Seymour! *sweatdrop*
Tidus: Well?
Yuna: N-nothing...
Lulu: Who's gonna be the drill sergeant?
Suddenly, Seymour walks onstage.
Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Seymour: What? I'm a recruit. Not a drill sergeant, if that's what you're thinking.
Everyone: YES!!!
Lulu: Wait. It's bad enough that he's gonna be in the camp.
Everyone: NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Suddenly, Jecht comes onstage.
Everyone: ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Jecht: Hi people. I'm your drill sergeant.
Tidus: Aren't you, like, dead?
Jecht: I dunno. Let's get this started. You were all very bad and are gonna be punished for that. You'll experience physical torture.
Lulu: Cool! I can beat everyone's ass!
Wakka: No, I can! *flexes 'muscles'*
Everyone: O.o
Jecht: Let's get to the camps.
Everyone magically appears in a giant room.
Jecht: First, these guys...
Some fat, bald guys who look suspiciously like those dudes from Jerry Springer walk onstage.
Jecht: ...Will shave your hair off.
Lulu: WHAT?!?!?!
Jecht: Don't worry, we'll only cut the women's hair.
Lulu: Oh, okay.
Jecht: Unless you want it shaved off. *holds up a razor and grins evilly*
Lulu: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The guys walk up to everyone and start cutting/shaving their hair. Finally, their done. Picture all the guys bald. Especially Wakka and Seymour. O.O
Wakka: *holding his hair* Nooooo!!!!
Seymour: *also holding hair* Waaaaahhh!!!!
Kimahri: *all fur shaven off* I dunno, I kinda like this.
Everyone: O.o
Meanwhile, all the girls have their hair cut to their chins.
Yuna: Nooooo! My beloved hair!!!
Rikku: This sucks!!!
Lulu: Am I the only one who's happy here?
Yuna hands Lulu a mirror.
Lulu: *looks into mirror* AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tidus: *completely bald* Hey, how come Jecht doesn't have to have his hair shaved?
Jecht: Cause I rule your lives. MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
Tidus: ...
Jecht: ...
Guy who cut everyone's hair: ... *smiles very evilly*
The guy walks over to Jecht and shaves all his hair off.
Jecht: *bald* Noooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!
Tidus: Hee hee hee!
Jecht: Argh... Oh well. Report to the dorm, everyone.
Everyone magically appears in a large, smelly room with crap and spraypaint all over the walls.
Jecht: Men will sleep here.
Seymour: We have to sleep in this crap?!
Jecht: Of course. *smiles anime*
Rikku: And where will the women go?
Jecht: On the floor!
Rikku: Oh, okay. *lays down*
Jecht: O.o I was kidding. Women are in the next cabin.
Rikku: ...Oh. *gets up*
Jecht: Now, it's time for some work outs!
Everyone magically appears in a weird swamp outside the camp.
Jecht: This will determine who gets kicked out tonight. Actually, it won't. But I wanna see all of you suffer. *laughs evilly*
Auron: And what do we do?
Jecht: Wait for the monsters to attack!
Suddenly, a bunch of Master Tonberrys pop out of nowhere. They're all drowsy and walking slowly.
Jecht: Oh my... It appears that the Master Tonberrys are drunk. Oh well. Beat their asses, everyone!
The Tonberrys attack. There's one for every recruit. Everyone is getting beaten up except Lulu.
Lulu: *using Firaga on her Tonberry's... you know* You guys are so dumb! These things are drunk and they're still beating you to death!
Wakka is being whacked on the head with a plunger by his Tonberry. O.o
Wakka: Ow... *falls over*
Lulu: That was bound to happen.
Tidus is halfway inside his Tonberry's mouth. o.O
Tidus: Well actually--AAAAAAHHH!!!
Tidus suddenly gets swallowed by his Tonberry.
Lulu: WOOHOO!!! HE'S DEAD!!!!
Meanwhile, Yuna is whacking hers on the head with her rod.
Yuna: Ha! Take that!
Lulu: Good job, Yuna!
Yuna: Thanks!
Suddenly, the Tonberry counterattacks, grabs Yuna's rod, and whacks her on the head. Yuna falls down, unconcious.
Lulu: O.o Oh well.
Rikku is throwing grenades at her Tonberry.
Rikku: Mwuahahaha!! I'm so strong!
Rikku's Tonberry blows up. Unfortunately, Tonberry's blood is poisonous. It splatters all over Rikku and she falls over.
Lulu: ...???
Auron is being burned at a stake by his Tonberry.
Auron: Eeeek! *burns*
Lulu: Cool. I can do that without the stake!
Finally, Kimahri is being harshly sliced up by his Tonberry, who is wielding his lance.
Kimahri: *clutching... uh, yeah* Ow!!! Kimahri in pain!! *falls over*
Lulu: That. Was. Weird.
Jecht: Well, it appears you're the winner.
Lulu: Yay!
Everyone is suddenly magically revived.
Jecht: Well, it looks like it's time for one of you to be kicked off the boot camp!!! Now vote!
Jecht hands everyone a cheap post-it note covered with coffee stains. Tidus writes 'Seymour', Yuna writes 'Seymour', Auron writes 'Seymour', Wakka writes 'Seymour', Lulu writes 'Seymour', Kimahri writes 'Seymour', and for some dumb reason, Seymour writes 'Seymour'.
Jecht: It appears you all voted for Seymour. Interesting. So, you want him to be kicked off?
Everyone, even Seymour for some dumb reason: YES!!!
Jecht: Well... THAT'S TOO DAMN BAD!!! HAHAHA!!!
Everyone: o.O
Jecht: Uh... I really wanted Tidus to leave.
Tidus: *cries* You don't love me!!!
Jecht: That's right.
Tidus: Waaaahhh!!!
Tidus runs away, crying.
Jecht: Oookay. How can Auron lose to a drunk Master Tonberry? How can Kimahri like cheese? It's gross! And why the hell did Seymour vote for himself?! All will be revealed in the next chapter!!! ...Actually, it won't. But read it anyway.
~*~*~
Thanks for reading. Now review! I NEED REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!! If I don't get any, this may be my last fic!!! *sniff sniff*
...And if you want, tell me who should be voted off next. I'll definetilly consider anyone's choices. I need serious help.
Oh, and I didn't mean anything by the scene where everyone got killed by Tonberrys. So sorry for that. It was just an essential part of the chapter.
Hi. I'm back. And yes, I am alive. I just didn't write anything new for a while due to my stupid writer's block and my bio being totally @ #$%ed up. Hopefully, this is a good fic and you people will review. With school out in a few days for me, I might write more fics. If my damn writer's block dissapears. And I get lots of nice reviews. Anyways...
Welcome to FFX Boot Camp! For those dumbasses who don't know what boot camp is, it's a place where people go to experience harsh army-style crap. Anyways, the FFX crew is of course going to be in a boot camp. At the end of every chapter, someone will get kicked off the camp until one person remains--the winner. I think there was a show like this, but whatever. I'm not trying to copy. So here's the fic.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. And I'm only posting one disclaimer for this fic. *gets whacked with a hammer* Ow... Okay, fine.
~*~*~
The FFX crew is shown. They're all getting off a bus.
Yuna: I don't get this. Why are we going to boot camp? Did we do something bad?
Tidus: *thinking to himself* Uh oh... Everyone saw me spying on Yuna in the shower and they told the police and that's why I'm in a boot camp...
Wakka: *thinking to himself* Dammit... Everyone must have seen me looking through porno of female Blitzball stars and reported me to the police and sticked me into a boot camp, ya?
Auron: *thinking to himself* Ah, @#$%^&*... Everyone probably saw me get drunk at the Al Bhed strip club and told the police...
Kimahri: *thinking to himself* I like cheese.
Yuna: Well, everyone? What did you do?
Tidus: Uh... What did YOU do?
Yuna: *thinking to herself* No! Tidus knows that I was taking porno shots of Seymour! *sweatdrop*
Tidus: Well?
Yuna: N-nothing...
Lulu: Who's gonna be the drill sergeant?
Suddenly, Seymour walks onstage.
Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Seymour: What? I'm a recruit. Not a drill sergeant, if that's what you're thinking.
Everyone: YES!!!
Lulu: Wait. It's bad enough that he's gonna be in the camp.
Everyone: NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Suddenly, Jecht comes onstage.
Everyone: ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Jecht: Hi people. I'm your drill sergeant.
Tidus: Aren't you, like, dead?
Jecht: I dunno. Let's get this started. You were all very bad and are gonna be punished for that. You'll experience physical torture.
Lulu: Cool! I can beat everyone's ass!
Wakka: No, I can! *flexes 'muscles'*
Everyone: O.o
Jecht: Let's get to the camps.
Everyone magically appears in a giant room.
Jecht: First, these guys...
Some fat, bald guys who look suspiciously like those dudes from Jerry Springer walk onstage.
Jecht: ...Will shave your hair off.
Lulu: WHAT?!?!?!
Jecht: Don't worry, we'll only cut the women's hair.
Lulu: Oh, okay.
Jecht: Unless you want it shaved off. *holds up a razor and grins evilly*
Lulu: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The guys walk up to everyone and start cutting/shaving their hair. Finally, their done. Picture all the guys bald. Especially Wakka and Seymour. O.O
Wakka: *holding his hair* Nooooo!!!!
Seymour: *also holding hair* Waaaaahhh!!!!
Kimahri: *all fur shaven off* I dunno, I kinda like this.
Everyone: O.o
Meanwhile, all the girls have their hair cut to their chins.
Yuna: Nooooo! My beloved hair!!!
Rikku: This sucks!!!
Lulu: Am I the only one who's happy here?
Yuna hands Lulu a mirror.
Lulu: *looks into mirror* AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tidus: *completely bald* Hey, how come Jecht doesn't have to have his hair shaved?
Jecht: Cause I rule your lives. MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
Tidus: ...
Jecht: ...
Guy who cut everyone's hair: ... *smiles very evilly*
The guy walks over to Jecht and shaves all his hair off.
Jecht: *bald* Noooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!
Tidus: Hee hee hee!
Jecht: Argh... Oh well. Report to the dorm, everyone.
Everyone magically appears in a large, smelly room with crap and spraypaint all over the walls.
Jecht: Men will sleep here.
Seymour: We have to sleep in this crap?!
Jecht: Of course. *smiles anime*
Rikku: And where will the women go?
Jecht: On the floor!
Rikku: Oh, okay. *lays down*
Jecht: O.o I was kidding. Women are in the next cabin.
Rikku: ...Oh. *gets up*
Jecht: Now, it's time for some work outs!
Everyone magically appears in a weird swamp outside the camp.
Jecht: This will determine who gets kicked out tonight. Actually, it won't. But I wanna see all of you suffer. *laughs evilly*
Auron: And what do we do?
Jecht: Wait for the monsters to attack!
Suddenly, a bunch of Master Tonberrys pop out of nowhere. They're all drowsy and walking slowly.
Jecht: Oh my... It appears that the Master Tonberrys are drunk. Oh well. Beat their asses, everyone!
The Tonberrys attack. There's one for every recruit. Everyone is getting beaten up except Lulu.
Lulu: *using Firaga on her Tonberry's... you know* You guys are so dumb! These things are drunk and they're still beating you to death!
Wakka is being whacked on the head with a plunger by his Tonberry. O.o
Wakka: Ow... *falls over*
Lulu: That was bound to happen.
Tidus is halfway inside his Tonberry's mouth. o.O
Tidus: Well actually--AAAAAAHHH!!!
Tidus suddenly gets swallowed by his Tonberry.
Lulu: WOOHOO!!! HE'S DEAD!!!!
Meanwhile, Yuna is whacking hers on the head with her rod.
Yuna: Ha! Take that!
Lulu: Good job, Yuna!
Yuna: Thanks!
Suddenly, the Tonberry counterattacks, grabs Yuna's rod, and whacks her on the head. Yuna falls down, unconcious.
Lulu: O.o Oh well.
Rikku is throwing grenades at her Tonberry.
Rikku: Mwuahahaha!! I'm so strong!
Rikku's Tonberry blows up. Unfortunately, Tonberry's blood is poisonous. It splatters all over Rikku and she falls over.
Lulu: ...???
Auron is being burned at a stake by his Tonberry.
Auron: Eeeek! *burns*
Lulu: Cool. I can do that without the stake!
Finally, Kimahri is being harshly sliced up by his Tonberry, who is wielding his lance.
Kimahri: *clutching... uh, yeah* Ow!!! Kimahri in pain!! *falls over*
Lulu: That. Was. Weird.
Jecht: Well, it appears you're the winner.
Lulu: Yay!
Everyone is suddenly magically revived.
Jecht: Well, it looks like it's time for one of you to be kicked off the boot camp!!! Now vote!
Jecht hands everyone a cheap post-it note covered with coffee stains. Tidus writes 'Seymour', Yuna writes 'Seymour', Auron writes 'Seymour', Wakka writes 'Seymour', Lulu writes 'Seymour', Kimahri writes 'Seymour', and for some dumb reason, Seymour writes 'Seymour'.
Jecht: It appears you all voted for Seymour. Interesting. So, you want him to be kicked off?
Everyone, even Seymour for some dumb reason: YES!!!
Jecht: Well... THAT'S TOO DAMN BAD!!! HAHAHA!!!
Everyone: o.O
Jecht: Uh... I really wanted Tidus to leave.
Tidus: *cries* You don't love me!!!
Jecht: That's right.
Tidus: Waaaahhh!!!
Tidus runs away, crying.
Jecht: Oookay. How can Auron lose to a drunk Master Tonberry? How can Kimahri like cheese? It's gross! And why the hell did Seymour vote for himself?! All will be revealed in the next chapter!!! ...Actually, it won't. But read it anyway.
~*~*~
Thanks for reading. Now review! I NEED REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!! If I don't get any, this may be my last fic!!! *sniff sniff*
...And if you want, tell me who should be voted off next. I'll definetilly consider anyone's choices. I need serious help.
Oh, and I didn't mean anything by the scene where everyone got killed by Tonberrys. So sorry for that. It was just an essential part of the chapter.
