FIC: Will You Still Love Me? (2/10)
Author: Jill
Disclaimer: duuuuh! Of course I don't own them, so don't sue. The title of the story is a song by "Chicago", so it isn't mine too.
Spoilers: The whole B/A-Canon to be sure. This is the third story in a special B/A-clause-free-universe. To understand what's going on I highly recommend you read "One Moment Changes Everything" and "Something To Believe In" first. You can find both stories at my site: http://www.never-ending-love.de (Go to the series page. The whole series is called "Everchanging Tide").
Summary: This is the sequel to the stories mentioned above. Buffy and Angel are still happily living together at the mansion. Oz hasn't left. But - as you know me - their happiness isn't eternal. Serious enemies are on their way to test the couple's love.
Timeline: Set at the beginning of Seasons 5/2, which of course never happened the way they did on the show in this universe. I just want to give you an idea about the time. So Buffy and her friends are at the beginning of their second year in college.
Distribution: want it, take it, but tell me where it goes.
Rating: Mostly like the show, angst, fluff, mush ... so the whole thing
Feedback: duuuh! Of course!
Dedication: This goes to Philip who reminded me more than once that this still wasn't finished. Thanks!


"And now we're going to have one of the beloved research parties..." Xander joked as he entered Giles' apartment, but stopped dead in tracks at the sight in front of him. The other's behind him barely avoided running him over. "And wow ... hello there."

"What?" Anya asked, not liking the tone of her boyfriend's voice. She'd heard it before and it always meant he was looking at an attractive female. Craning her neck, she tried to look over his shoulder.

"Ah," Giles looked at the boy standing in the door, "come in, come in. Let me introduce you. This is Miss Madeline Stewart, an old friend of mine. She worked with the watcher's council once. She came to visit me for a while," he explained while the whole group entered his apartment.

Angel gave the two watchers an interested glance. The way Giles had emphasized the "Miss" was telling a lot.

"Madeline, this is Xander, Anya, Willow, Oz, Buffy, Angel, Faith and Spike and, of course, Cordelia."

"Good evening," Madeline Stewart stood up and extended a hand to every one of them. "I was so looking forward to meeting you all." She was a very attractive woman in her mid thirties, with short brown hair and expressive green eyes.

The others nodded at her or greeted her with "hey" or "nice to meet you", but they were still trying to recover from this new development. It was one thing for Buffy to find Giles having an affair with Olivia, but somehow this seemed a little bit different.

Willow was surprisingly the first to recover from the shock and gazed at Giles, "Where's Wesley?"

"He'll be there in a few minutes. He's just getting something for me. Some herbs," the ex-watcher told her with a smile. "Take a seat all of you," he gestured towards his chairs and the sofa. "There's tea," with a frown at Xander
he added, "or some of the horrible soft drinks you all seem to like so much."

"Hey ... speak for the teenagers," Spike walked into the kitchenette, "I need some good old wine. Peaches?"

"No thanks," Angel shook his head, "I prefer tea."

"So," Madeline took her cup and held it between her hands, "You're Angel. I've heard a lot about you."

"I bet," Buffy grinned and placed herself on his lap. They both exchanged a grin and a short, sweet kiss.

"Oh gross! Hey you two, this is research. Keep your private activities private," Cordelia rolled her eyes and leaned back. "All these love-birds around me. It's sickening."

"Maybe you should try to find your own vampire or demon," Faith grinned and with a side-glance at Willow she added, "or werewolf for that matter."

"No thanks," the former may-queen took a can of coke Xander had placed in front of her, "I want my boyfriends warm, without bloodlust and I'm not wild about closing them up three days a month either. And I don't even want to think about someone who can't keep his mouth shut about what happens in our bedroom."

"You're just jealous because nobody gives you orgasms," Anya replied smugly.

"Oh please! As if I'd want him to do that," Cordelia glanced at Xander and then shook her head in disgust.

"You once said I was a good kisser," Xander protested.

"When the light was out and I could imagine you were John Cusack," the former cheerleader shot back.

"Please," Giles interrupted them with a shake of his head and an apologizing glance at Madeline. "They aren't always like that, you know."

She had to laugh at that, "Don't apologize, Rupert. I'm enjoying it tremendously."

"You do?" Willow looked at her in astonishment. "Giles never does. He thinks it's very un-adult-like."

"But we all know that the watcher doesn't have much of a sense of humor," Spike came back to the group and found a spot beside his girlfriend. "Now, could someone enlighten us as to why we're spending a wonderful Sunday night at the watcher's apartment and not at home?"

"Yes, well," Giles began when the door opened and his younger colleague entered.

"Sorry, I'm late. The new owner at the magic shop is such an idiot ... oh sorry, Madeline, I forgot," he apologized. "But really, he doesn't even know where his merchandise is. He needed more than ten minutes to find a special root Mr. Giles requested." He sighed, put the plastic bag down he had been carrying and poured himself a cup of tea.

"Now, Giles. What's the what?" Buffy asked and leaned back towards Angel to snuggle into his embrace. If this meeting deprived her of bed-fun with her lover she could at least try to be as comfortable as possible. But they would have fun later as it was Faith's and Spike's evening for patrol.

"Yeah, I would appreciate it if you'd get on with this," Faith looked at her watch, "I have to patrol. You know vampires to dust and demons to slay, and they're not waiting."

"Yes, well," the ex-watcher began and looked at the group assembled in his living room. "Wesley and I have found some news about a demon coming here. It's still not certain, but if it comes to Sunnydale you need to be prepared."

"No big," Buffy gave him a smile. "We stake him or cut his head off."

"It's not that easy. This special demon can't be killed the usual way," Giles explained. "You need a magic powder to destroy the shield that's protecting him. For this Wesley went to the magic shop. We will mix the powder, but I need to explain to you how to use it."

"Oh wow, an inventive demon," Faith joked. "The hellmouth is never short of surprises, that's for certain."

"Yes," Giles took a book that was lying on the table. "I've asked Madeline to copy that passage for you all. It's a short incantation you have to recite while spreading the powder over the demon. Carry it with you at all times or even better, learn it." He handed the sheets to all of them.

"Acrum digitum ... Giles, that's Latin and there are lots of words," Xander said with a certain horror in his eyes.

"Actually, Latin isn't that complicated at all," Anya remarked casually. "There are much more complicated languages, like Chinese or certain African dialects."

"How many languages do you speak exactly?" Wesley asked with sudden interest.

"I'm not quite sure," she replied, tapping her chin with her forefinger and scrunching her nose in thought. Then after a moment, she sighed, "Well, I'm fluent in about twenty and can get around in thirty others."

"What?" Xander yelped, the horror in his eyes intensifying. "Fifty languages. What are you? A genius?"

"No, over 1100 years old," she said matter-of-factly. "You pick up one or two things in that time. And it pays to understand wishes in whatever language they come. I mean it wouldn't look too great if a girl wants her boyfriend to …," she trailed off when she saw the others staring at her, "What?" she exclaimed throwing her hands in the air, "he asked."

With a frown, Xander turned back to the guest in their circle. "She might be a language specialist, but I am not. How am I going to remember that ... stuff?" he asked and pointed at the spell.

"For this you get the copy," Madeline gave him a smile. "But of course you'd be quicker if you'd learn it."

"We will," Willow piped. "It's not difficult."

Suddenly Buffy realized that Angel tensed under her and looked at him. His eyes wore a faraway expression. "Angel?" she asked concerned. When he didn't react, she repeated, "Angel?" this time a bit louder so that everyone was turning towards them.

The vampire's head snapped up, "Oh sorry," he blinked and slightly shook his head, "I..." he frowned.

"What is it?" his girlfriend asked again.

He gave her a quick smile, but she could see the irritated expression in his eyes, "I'm fine," he said but then quickly glanced at Spike. His grand-childe seemed completely unaffected. He looked back at Buffy, "I'm fine," he repeated and this time his smile was genuine. "Really." He gave her a kiss and gazed at Giles. "What kind of demon is it?"

"An Aserian," Madeline answered for the ex-watcher. "They're not very strong or powerful, but indestructible unless one uses the magic powder."

Tearing her still concerned gaze away from her boyfriend, Buffy looked at the two ex-watchers, well three if you were exact, in front of her, "So we throw this stuff on it and say some Latin words and then we can kill it, right?"

"Right," Wesley said with a nod.

"Buffy?"

She turned around to face her boyfriend, "What?"

"I need to get out of here for a moment," he told her, the irritated look back in his eyes. "There's something," he shook his head. "Come with me?"

"Sure," she nodded and both got up, "Sorry Giles." With this both left the apartment.

"What was that?" Xander gazed at the ex-watcher.

"Don't ask me," he replied confused.

*

"Angel?" the slayer asked as soon as they were out in the darkness.

"It's even stronger here," he said almost to himself.

"What?" she demanded. "What is the matter?"

"There's this feeling," he replied. "Whenever someone related to me is near I can feel it."

"Related to you? But Angel, all your relatives are ... oh," her eyes went wide as understanding dawned. "You mean a vampire related to you."

"Yeah," he nodded. "But it's even stronger this time. Almost as if..." he frowned. "But it can't be."

"Can't be what? Angel, talk to me!"

"Sorry," he looked at her. "There's a very strong bond between sire and childe, you know," he explained, sitting down on the steps. "It's almost spiritual."

Buffy took the spot beside him and laid a hand on his knee. "So you feel that one of your childer is near?" She gave him a reassuring smile. "No big. We've had that before, remember? We can deal with it again."

"No, it's not that." He locked his eyes with hers, "You don't understand Buffy, it was ... it was almost as if Darla was around."

*

"So you've been a watcher too?" Faith asked, taking a cookie.

"Yes," Madeline nodded with a smile. "For five years. Well, actually, I never really worked with a slayer, not in the field."

"In the field," Cordelia echoed and suppressed a grin.

"It's how the council refers to it," Giles told her. "A lot of watchers are trained but only very few get to work with a slayer in the end."

"But why train so many?" Willow frowned.

"Because vampires do not only kill slayers," Spike said dryly.

"Oh," the witch replied. "Oh," she said again, when it really hit her.

"Yes, well," Giles took a sip from his tea, "I wonder what's the matter with Angel. I truly hope it's nothing serious," he sighed and saw that the others were thinking the exact same thing.

It wasn't just that his slayer was distracted as soon as Angel's life was in danger. No, it was Angel himself. Over the last months, after being able to put Angelus behind, Giles had again realized what a great ally and friend the ensouled vampire could be. And Giles never liked his friends being in danger. Not to forget that a threat to Angel could very well become a threat to all of them.

*

"Darla?" Buffy stared at him. "But ... but you staked her. I was there."

He ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath, "I know. That's what confuses me. I know it's not possible and still I felt her. Twice tonight."

"Still?" she asked and when she saw his puzzled look she said, "What I meant is, do you still feel her now?"

He shook his head, "No. It's gone. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe I'm just tired or something."

She glanced at him doubtfully, "Whatever it was, maybe we should talk to Giles." When he was about to protest she held up a hand, "I don't say we should tell all of them. Just Giles. Maybe there's a simple explanation for it. Okay?"

"Okay," he said after a moment and then leaned over and kissed her. "Let's go in again. And later we talk to Giles."

"Good," she smiled at him. "Love you," she said.

"Love you too," he replied and got up. With entwined hands they joined their friends again.

******

"And?" the man asked when Darla came back into their house.

"He felt me," she replied with a cold grin. "I could see it. He's confused."

He grinned as well, "That's good. But he didn't see you?"

"No," she shook her head. "Do you think I'm a fool?"

"You're human now," he reminded her.

"That doesn't take away the centuries of experience," she said and sat down.

"Very well," he nodded. "How is it going with the boy?"

"Riley?" she laughed. "He's an idiot, but like all of them he's got the hots for the slayer." She shook her head disbelievingly. "I still don't know what they see in her."

"We have to find a way to get Angelus *and* William, to fight two vampires and two slayers is too much," he said after a while.

"Forget about William," she said dismissively. "He's never been a threat to anyone. Well, it's no surprise really, thinking who made him."

"Drusilla would be a good asset to our group. I know she is insane, but her psychic talents could be very useful."

Darla gave him a disgusted look, "Usuful, huh? She'd give me headaches without end. Her constant whining was always getting on my nerves. No, thanks. Psychic or not, I can very well do without her. Never understood why my boy had to have her."

"She's beautiful," he replied, licking his lips.

Her brows rose in indignation, "Men," she huffed, "Vampires or humans, they can only think of the one thing. He had me. So why did he have to have her? I've had more than 200 years of experience, plus I once did this professionally. You can't tell me there's anyone out there who can make it more perfect for him."

A cold smile appeared on his lips, "Seems he's found someone to satisfy his needs."

Her eyes flashed with fury, "This is not Angelus. This is some soul-bound puppy. My dear boy is somewhere deep inside, longing to finally come out again. And when he does," she smiled, took a delighted breath, "I can hardly wait to see him in action again. The world will vibrate with fear and horror. And once again we'll bring fear into the harts of all those pathetic humans. And we'll start with the Slayer. This little blond cheerleader will learn what it means to mess with my property."

****

"So suddenly - like out of the blue - you had a feeling of your sire being near, right?" Giles asked again to be one hundred percent certain he'd understood what Angel and Buffy had just told him.

The vampire nodded and took his girlfriend's hand. She gave him a smile in response. "It was strange. The last time I felt like that was when she suddenly appeared in my apartment shortly before I staked her."

"Hmm," the ex-watcher said, then took his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Giles?" Buffy gave him an impatient look.

"Well," he put his glasses back on and took a deep breath, "I'm not sure what to think about this."

"Welcome to the club," Angel said sarcastically. "I know she's dead. She can't be around. Yet I felt as if she was."

"And you're absolutely sure none of your childer can arouse a feeling like that?" Giles asked, sipping at his tea he'd freshly made after the others had left the apartment. Wesley had thankfully taken Madeline out for dinner, so that
the three of them were alone now.

"Absolutely," the vampire replied without hesitation. "The bond between sire and childe is very special," he explained, looking at Buffy for a moment, not certain she was ready to hear what he was going to say. But somehow he felt she had a right to know. Their relationship was much stronger now and if they were going to be together for years he had to reveal his secrets bit by bit.

"When she made me I was attracted to her. Physically I mean. Although thinking about it now I'm not so sure. I was extremely drunk that night," he didn't evaluate it any further knowing that Giles would understand what he meant by that. "Anyways. I was feeling miserable, having realized that I could never live up to my father's expectations. He wanted me to be the perfect son, which I wasn't. From my point of view at that time I tried my best, and it still wasn't enough for him." He sighed, rubbed his forehead, "It was … frustrating. Extremely so. I …," he glanced at Buffy, who was listening intently, "I became … a favorite with our local prostitutes. That special night I was at our local pub drinking and flirting with women. Then Darla came in, saw me and chose me."

"Chose you?"

Angel saw Buffy frown and nodded, "Yeah. I didn't know it at first, but she was quite taken with me. Later she told me. Maybe I should feel flattered." He let out an unhappy laugh at that and looked at his girlfriend again, "so in a way I was a Chosen One as well." She squeezed his hand, smiled at him understandingly and he continued. "She promised to show me a new world and asked me if I wanted it. I agreed." He ran his hand through his hair, "I actually agreed to become a vampire although I didn't understand at all what that meant. I was just excited to experience something new, thrilled by the power she promised I'd have. Plus I had left my home on an argument with my father."

He shook his head, "Argument. It was … bad. He told me I shouldn't be thinking about ever coming back."

Buffy grimaced, thinking about another day she'd heard the same words, "Sounds familiar."

Angel squeezed her hand, then went on, "We spent almost 150 years together, and she was obsessed with me. I don't want to call it love because I seriously doubt a vampire is capable of that feeling," he looked at Buffy again, this time deeply, "unless he's got a soul." A smile flickered over his features then his gaze wandered back to Giles, "I was addicted to her, although - and you experienced Angelus first hand - it had nothing to do with affection. But even a bastard like him can't get over the sire-childe-bond. Although it doesn't always mean that sire and childe stay together. Usually they split up after some time.

"That we stayed together was mostly Darla's doing. She was thrilled by Angelus' behavior, aroused by his cruelty. When the demon's obsessions went to Drusilla for a while, she was furious. But she realized Angelus would be bored soon, and she liked the way my demon drove the girl towards insanity." Angel took a deep breath. Talking about all this was hard, it was almost like living through it for a second time. Buffy's presence at his side helped and the fact her hand hadn't even twitched in his' was the most amazing experience in his life. Her love was deep, true and unwavering. And in the way she held his hand she tried to show it to him.

"Then to show me her great affection she gave me a present. She brought a gypsy girl to me." He shook his head again, "The rest is history already. After I got my soul back I was devastated. I tried to go back to Darla, she was the only person I could go to, but she threw me out of the house, despising me for the soul. I never forget the hatred in her eyes when she realized what had happened to me. She almost spat it in my face 'you have a soul'.

"So our ways parted. I was desperate, not able to deal with the images in my head, the voices, the faces," he had to take another unnecessary breath to steady his voice. "Some years went by until I felt her again. It went through me like a lightning bolt and we were together," he looked at Buffy, "without me losing my soul," he added, pulled the slayer's hand to his mouth and kissed it. Then he gazed back at Giles, "Because of that it never occurred to me that something could happen when Buffy and I ... well, you know."

"Yes," Giles nodded in understanding and looked at his slayer. He wasn't really surprised to see that she had moved even closer to the man she loved to assure him she was okay with everything he'd told them, that she understood. It was an amazing bond they shared and it dawned him that until today he hadn't really understood the depth of their love, the degree of acceptance. It was without question and in acceptance that whatever would happen would happen to both of them. Giles wondered if he'd ever seen something like that before and his silent answer was no. On the other hand, there weren't many couples like Buffy and Angel. Sure Faith and Spike were together, but their bond hadn't been tested the same way, so nobody could say what their relationship was worth, although the watcher had seen real affection between the blonde vampire and the brunette slayer.

"But coming back to the sire-childe-bond," Angel continued. "The feeling a childe has towards its sire is deep. Deeper than the sire feels towards his childe, although I doubt it was the same with Darla. As I told you before she was really obsessed with Angelus and 150 odd years did nothing to lessen it. She despised the fact that I had a soul but still couldn't really let go of me. She never accepted the fact that I had a soul.

"When she came into my apartment, shortly before I staked her, I knew it at once. I mean, I felt her in the room. She tried to convince me to kill Buffy. She could feel I loved her and was jealous. I hadn't realized it that moment, but later it was crystal clear, because I could feel her emotions. Giles, you have to understand that I share blood with her. It's a sacred bond for a vampire. A childe feels when the sire dies, even if he's far away. It's as if part of the childe dies too."

A sharp intake of breath made him turn towards Buffy who looked at him with wide understanding eyes and he knew that she'd realized for the first time what it had meant to him to kill Darla that night. What demonstration of love it had been to choose her above his sire. She pulled his large hand into her lap and held it there between her two tiny ones.

"So what I want to know is," he asked after a while looking back to the watcher, "if there's a possibility that someone or something can make me feel like that? I first thought it was just my imagination, but the longer I think about it the more I'm convinced the feeling was real and I don't like it at all," he finished his long speech.

Giles gazed at the couple for a while. He could see how hard it had been for Angel to tell them all this and he understood now why they had wanted to talk to him privately. This was not for a big audience and certainly not something that needed some silly remarks from Xander. And the ex-watcher could also see how much his slayer had matured and part of it was because of her relationship with Angel. Some years ago she would have screamed and cried, maybe even ran away, but now she stayed and held her lover's hand, her eyes assuring him that she understood and accepted. And even more important, loved.

"I really have to look this up," he said finally, smiling a bit sheepishly. "I'm afraid vampire relationships aren't my territory and I don't know how much I can find in the books. I doubt other watchers or scientists ever tried to elaborate on this certain subject."

Angel had to laugh at his words. He knew the situation wasn't funny, but somehow he couldn't help it and it helped to lessen the tension that still filled the room. "Well I suppose it isn't really important, and as I've the first
vampire with a soul as far as I know, there hasn't been any reason to think about a vampire's feelings so far."

"No, certainly not," Giles agreed. "The watcher's task is it to train the slayer and keep her alive as long as possible." He thought for a moment, "Maybe, if you allow me, I would like to talk about this special problem with Wesley and Madeline, without telling them all the details of course. But maybe they can think of something. Madeline is a fully trained watcher and she's always been very bright."

"Okay," Angel said after a moment's hesitation. "They know about Darla anyway because they've read the watcher diaries. Wesley - since he was Buffy's watcher for a short time - should even know I staked her."

Giles put his glasses down again, "We will do our best to find out if something like a sire-childe bond can be faked - can we call it that?" when he saw the vampire nod, he continued, "In the meantime, you should be careful."

"Careful?" Buffy frowned. So far she'd been so concentrated on the things Angel had told them, but now her mind began to race. "You don't think..."

"I don't think anything," the ex-watcher assured her quickly, a bit too quickly for her taste. "But if we agree that someone tried to arouse this certain feeling in Angel then we have to assume that they, whoever they are, are trying to gain something by it." He looked at the vampire, "Angel, maybe you should tell Spike about this. I'm sure he'll understand. After all he had a very special bond with his sire too, right? I mean he and Drusilla were almost inseparable. Try to stick together during the day and during the night," he smiled, "well you'll be with Buffy. Just try not to be alone as long as we haven't figured out what's going on."

"You sound very serious, Giles," the slayer said, squeezing Angel's hand tightly, "do you think he could be in danger."

"Buffy..." the vampire tried to interrupt her, but one look into her eyes silenced him.

"No," she shook her head, "I want to know. Do you think he might be in danger?" she gazed at the man she still saw as her watcher, sometimes even as her father.

He hesitated a moment, then he nodded, "It's possible. This is the hellmouth. The fact that he's with the slayer makes him a prime target, Buffy. Maybe it doesn't even have to do with him. Maybe they're just trying to get to you through him. We can't be sure. The only thing we can do is keep our eyes open and stick together. And I promise that Wesley, Madeline and I will research non-stop until we've figured out what's going on."

Buffy could do nothing but stare at him. Angel had more than once tried to stay away from her not to endanger her with his presence. It hadn't once occurred to her that it could also happen the other way around, and the thought scared her to the bone.

... to be continued

Feedback? Please send it to Connemara.Scarlets@t-online.de or leave a review. Thanks for reading.

'No cracks about the coat, Cordelia. Where I go, it goes.' Angel to Cordy in "Anam Cara" by Gem.

'You're a part of me. Not loving you is something I'm not made for. As simple as that.' Angel to Buffy in "Simply Love" by me.

'We could have fun. Just think what fun we could have with your stamina and my experience. I could show you things you wouldn't dare to dream about today. That soul-boy loser of yours would never do that, too much of a gentleman, that idiot.' Angelus to Buffy in "The Night Remembers" by me.

'The love in her eyes drew Angel like a beacon, the only source of light in his dark world and, unable to resist her, he found himself smiling back as the world around them faded into the background. The smile lit his eyes from within and Willow, Cordelia and Jenny all inhaled sharply at the sight; brooding he was amazingly handsome, smiling he was devastating.' From "The Wish" by AnglicVampyre

'...it's the chip, I know. Dru hates it, you hate it ... Big Bad Spike ain't so bad anymore. He's gone all soft and mushy inside, and even sat there and watched the Slayer and her pet vampire going at it without any of his hilariously funny insults." Spike to Buffy and Angel in "The Worst Kind of Torture" by Serena (yum!)

'Behave or I'll turn you into a rat. I've got that part of the spell down, it's the turning back into a person that's giving me trouble.' Willow to Riley in "One more Morning" by Drusilla

'It was an instinct she thought later. What should she have done? Spike had her *naked*. In a crypt. He was in full game face, growling at her. There was a broken pair of handcuffs hanging off the headboard, and the room looked like a cyclone had hit it - signs of struggle, in her opinion. She didn't take time to think she just acted from years of training and habit ... There was no way she could have done anything different. She kicked him in the head, shattered one of the bedposts ... And staked him.' From "A Big Festival of Suck" by Ducks

'You have great breasts. I remember that very clearly.' 'You forget my best friend, you remember my breasts. An undead man is still a man.' Angel and Buffy in "Phoenix Burning" by Yahtzee

'I thought Spike had made me feel alive. And he does - he makes me laugh, he pisses me off, and I  think, all things considered, I like being with him. But for the first time since I've been back, in Angel's arms like this ... this is being alive, alive the way I really remember it used to be. More alive than I've felt in a long time. Tight against him, breathing him again, feeling my heart jackhammer. And I love him so much it hurts, this moment now more than ever.' Buffy thinking in "Shadow of a Dream" by Molly