FIC: Will You
Still Love Me? (3/10)
Author:
Jill
Disclaimer: duuuuh! Of course I don't own them, so don't sue. The title of the
story is a song by "Chicago", so it isn't mine too.
Spoilers: The whole B/A-Canon to be sure. This is the third story in a special
B/A-clause-free-universe. To understand what's going on I highly recommend you
read "One Moment Changes Everything" and "Something To Believe
In" first. You can find both stories at my site: http://www.never-ending-love.de (Go to the
series page. The whole series is called "Everchanging Tide").
Summary: This is the sequel to the stories mentioned above. Buffy and Angel are
still happily living together at the mansion. Oz hasn't left. But - as you know
me - their happiness isn't eternal. Serious enemies are on their way to test
the couple's love.
Timeline: Set at the beginning of Seasons 5/2, which of course never happened
the way they did on the show in this universe. I just want to give you an idea
about the time. So Buffy and her friends are at the beginning of their second
year in college.
Distribution: want it, take it, but tell me where it goes.
Rating: Mostly like the show, angst, fluff, mush ... so the whole thing
Feedback: duuuh! Of course!
Dedication: This goes to Philip who reminded me more than once that this still
wasn't finished. Thanks!
AN: ... indicates a dream; the quotes in the dream are taken from the Angel-season-1-episode "The Prodigal", and it refers to a conversation between Darla and Angelus.
AN 2: ## ... ## indicates flashbacks; the quotes are taken from the Angel-season-1-episode "The Prodigal" and from the Angel-season-2-episode "Fool For Love".
"You need that too," Willow said handing a book to the slayer standing beside her. When she got no reaction she tried again, "Buffy?"
"What?" the blonde's head snapped around. "Oh sorry, Will. What did you say?"
"The book," the witch nodded towards the object in her left hand. "You need that too."
Taking it, the slayer took a deep breath and gave her friend an apologetic smile, "I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention."
Willow rolled her eyes but grinned nevertheless, "Who would've noticed?" Suddenly, a worried expression entered her eyes and she glanced at Buffy who seemed again far away. She probably wouldn't even notice...
"Hi."
Damn.
"Hi Riley," the witch chirped while her concerned eyes went to the slayer who stared at the blonde boy with a mixture of disbelief and anger.
"Willow," Riley gave the redhead a smile, then his eyes rested on Buffy. "Hi, Buffy."
"You've really got some nerve talking to me," she hissed. Anger was good, she thought. Underneath, the raw and pure panic that materialized at the sight of Riley, was a lot harder to handle.
"I wanted to apologize," he flashed her a quick smile. "And maybe we ...well ... couldn't we start fresh?"
"You …," Buffy had to swallow. The never of the man … "You really think we could…," the slayer shook her head. "You took a friend of mine prisoner, then helped capture me, and finally you tried to kill my boyfriend. So I think *not*!" Shooting Willow a brief glance both girls turned around to move away, but a hand on her arm stopped Buffy.
"Your boyfriend was a vampire. You cannot call that the usual kind of boyfriend," Riley said. "Buffy, I was trained to hunt them, to fight them. But I've learned a lot. I've left the Initiative, because I realized what they did was wrong. I just want a second chance - just to be a friend."
"No," the slayer shook her head emphatically, then stared at the hand on her arm and back into Riley's face. No way she would let him worm his way back into their lives, no way she'd give him a chance to hurt Angel. She would never forget the night she'd thought Angel was dead. She still had nightmares about it, and Riley was in them. Glaring at him, she pulled her arm away, "Let go of me. Stay away from us, Riley." Her eyes narrowed, "And don't even try to think about harming my boyfriend again, because this time I'll kill you."
"I wouldn't hurt him. As I said, I learned a lot."
"Yeah," she gave him a cold stare, "So did I. And one of the things I've learned is never to trust a face just because it seems nice and honest. You should take the warning seriously, Riley."
"You hunt vampires, you won't kill humans," he argued, but removed his hand.
She looked into his eyes for a long moment, "You shouldn't count on that." With this she turned and left the library.
*****
Angel had gone back to sleep after Buffy had left. Not that he'd been particularly tired, but sunlight always made him sleepy. Besides, he wasn't thrilled about the idea of talking to Spike again, not that he really minded the other vampire. They'd become quite good friends during the past year. Who would've thought? Angel had to laugh at that. He'd never been fond of Spike. Not in his evil times that is; Angelus had been too arrogant to even really notice the blonde vampire. For him he was just some stupid idiot, interfering with his plans. Too simple minded.
## You've got me and my women hiding in the luxury of a mineshaft, all because William the Bloody likes the attention. This is not a reputation we need.##
And later, after Angel had regained his soul, Spike had been nothing but a painful reminder of a time, Angel tried so hard to forget. Plus, Dru was always with him, the walking, talking, murdering proof of his greatest sins. No, he certainly hadn't favored him after he'd regained his soul. No, certainly not.
And these days all his grand-childe talked about was 'his slayer'. Not that Angel was any better. His thoughts were pretty much on a one-way trip as well. Two vampires living with two slayers. He had to chuckle. Things couldn't get any weirder. But for a vampire with a soul and all the memories of the past, it was a good life. Hell, it was the best. Who would've thought that he would ever meet his soulmate, that he had to live almost 250 years to have her in his life. The world was a crazy place, that was for certain.
Not in all his life or un-life had he'd experienced something like his feelings for Buffy. When he was with her it was as if nothing else mattered, and when they made love he lost himself in her. Completely. No wonder he'd lost his soul being with her ... only with her. While making love to her, being close, he forgot all about guilt and pain, there was only Buffy, beside him, around him, inside of him, there was no room left for thoughts. All he could do then was feel.
It was perfect happiness.
Last night after they'd returned from Giles, Buffy had been distracted, even brooding. Later in their bedroom, he'd almost felt despair in the way she had made love to him. He hadn't talked to her about it, but he knew what had been on her mind. He had wanted to throttle Giles for telling her Angel could be in danger because of the slaying. She had enough on her shoulders – she didn't need any more responsibilities. A big plus of their relationship had always been the fact that he could fight for himself, that she didn't need to look out for him.
It made them equal and it gave her security. Now one sentence from her watcher had shaken that. That fundamental trust that Angel was strong enough to survive, no matter what. That she didn't need to protect him. He knew he had to be very careful during the next few days in order to destroy her doubts.
He hated to see her distracted like that. She didn't need it, at the wrong moment it could even prove fatal. Especially with the new demon threat Giles had mentioned. She needed to focus, needed to concentrate, not worry about his safety.
Those thoughts were still in his mind when he fell back into a restless sleep.
*****
"You busy?" Spike opened the door to his girlfriend's room and saw her sitting in front of the computer screen. They shared a bed at night but she still insisted on having her own room.
"No," she shook her head and smiled at him, gesturing for him to enter. "I could use a distraction right now. Math is really a pain in the ass."
"Math, huh?" the vampire grimaced and seated himself on the stuffed armchair in the corner. "Wasn't my territory either." Seeing her doubtful look he added, "When I was human that is."
"So?" she smiled, "What do you want?"
"Huh?"
"You have a certain expression, like 'I need to talk about this'." She crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked at him expectantly.
"Peaches and the slayer," he said after a while, "Did you notice anything?"
"Notice what?" she asked.
He shrugged, stood up and began to pace. "Don't know. First of all, they leave the 'party' last night, then they come back and behave as if nothing happened. Then they stay there after we all left. And finally, they go straight to their bedroom without even saying good-night."
Faith shook her head, "Still lost here."
"I've done some thinking, you know. The watcher, he's a bit like a father to her, right?"
"Yeah, I think," the brunette slayer replied still not understanding what he wanted to say. "And?"
Spike stopped and looked at her, rubbing the back of his neck with his right hand, "Do you ... I mean ... do you think they plan to get married?"
Faith stared at him for a long moment and when what he'd said finally sunk in she began to laugh.
*****
"Welcome to my world. It hurts, I know, but not for long. Birth is always painful."
"I could feel them, above me, as I slept in the earth – their heartbeats. Their blood - coursing - through their veins."
"Yes."
"Was it a dream?"
"A dream for you. Soon: their nightmare."
...
"It all makes sense now, doesn't it?"
"Perfect sense."
"You can do anything, have anyone in the village. Who will it be?"
Angel bolted upright in his bed once more, panting heavily. He ran a hand over his face and then through his hair. He hadn't had that dream for a long time. The dream about his awakening as a vampire. After the events of last night, it didn't particularly surprise him. But that didn't mean he liked it. This image was connected to others. Pictures that hit too close to home.
He closed his eyes in agony. Images of his sister lying in the corner, her blood drained from her veins, his mother, his father with a look of pure horror in his eyes ... no, he didn't want to see it. He didn't want to remember what the demon in his body had done to his family. He didn't want to think about the fact that his own anger for his father had triggered the demon's actions.
##
Angelus looked at the man who'd made him feel low all through his human life, "You're no different from the rest of them, - are you, father? Cowering in their houses, boarding up the windows, smearing that foul herb in the doorways. You'd think something evil, and vile, and monstrous had taken to terrorizing this village, and everyone in it."
"Be gone, unclean thing! A demon cannot enter a home where it's not welcome. He must be invited!"
"That's true. - But I was invited" ... "She thought I returned to her, an angel."
##
Groaning Angel tried to push that particular image away. Kathy! She'd been the only human being to love him unconditionally - had overlooked the fact that he'd been a useless, drunken bastard, and his demon had taken immense pleasure in killing her and even more in showing her dead body to his father.
No!
Taking a deep breath, Angel pushed the covers away from his body and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. Sitting there he paused again.
##
"Now I've won."
"You're sure?"
"Of course. I proved who had the power here."
"You think?"
"What?"
"Your victory over him took but moments."
"Yes?"
"But his defeat of you will last lifetimes."
"What are you talking about? He can't defeat me now."
"Nor can he ever approve of you, in this world or in any other. What we once were informs all that we have become. The same love will infect our heart, even if they no longer beat. Simple death won't change that."
##
Darla had known that day. She'd understood. She'd always understood what went on in his head.
God, he had Buffy now, why would Darla suddenly enter his mind like this? And why on earth would he compare them all of a sudden? He ran his hands over his face. By staking her, as painful as it had been, he'd thought he had gotten rid of her ghost in his life. But again she'd been right. Simple death didn't change anything.
****
"What the hell is so funny about that," Spike asked, annoyance clearly audible in his voice. "Stop laughing, slayer! This isn't funny."
"You... said..." Faith couldn't stop laughing, holding her stomach she was only able to talk in between, "that ... before. But it is," she burst out laughing again.
"No, it is not. I may have a soul and all and I can live with the fact that a vampire and a slayer are sleeping together, hell, that's what we do, but marriage? My grand-sire marrying a slayer ... that's ... that's..." helplessly he threw his hands in the air. "I don't even know what it is. Bloody hell."
Struggling to become serious again Faith looked at him, "Where did you get that idea from? It would be the last thing I would think of." She paused for a moment, "Well, probably not the last thing, because they're very much into each other and all, but Angel wouldn't do that. He had enough trouble accepting that a relationship between the two of them could work at all."
"You think?" Spike looked at her with a mixture of hope and doubt.
"I'm positive," the brunette nodded. "But you're right about one point. They were acting strange yesterday. Maybe something private. A slayer-vampire-private-thing you know."
The blonde vampire let out a breath he hadn't even realized he was holding. Not that he needed to breathe in the first place. "I truly hope you're right. Because the other thing..." he shook his head. "I'm going to leave you to your math or whatever you were doing."
On his way out she heard him mutter, "God, I hope she's right" and again her body shook with laughter.
*****
"Arrgh, isn't he the biggest jerk on earth," Buffy looked at Willow who sat beside her on a bench in front of the library.
"Who?"
The slayer shot her an are-you-stupid look.
"Oh, oh ... you mean Riley," the witch gave her an apologetic smile and then suddenly focused on someone behind the blonde. "Hi," she greeted.
"Hi," came the shy reply.
Buffy turned around and came face to face with a blonde girl she'd never seen before. Looking back and forth between her and the redhead beside her, she shot Willow a questioning glance.
"Oh, Buffy," the witch chirped. "That's Tara, I kinda' met her last week in this new Wiccan group at the campus I told you about. It's all boo-boo, but Tara here is a real witch."
"Boo.Boo?" the slayer asked.
"You know. They talk a lot, but there's nothing to it. Tara," Willow gazed at the blonde girl, "this is my best friend Buffy."
"Hi," Tara smiled shyly at the other blonde.
"Hi, Tara. Nice to meet you."
"How about a cup of coffee? Anybody in?" the redhead asked.
When the others both nodded she gave them a smile and the three girls headed for the cafeteria.
******
"Peaches," Spike raised a brow seeing his grand-sire sitting on a sofa in the hall.
"Spike," Angel didn't look up.
"Didn't you say something about going back to sleep?" the blonde vampire asked. He was irritated at seeing Angel there. Not that it was unusual for him to sit somewhere brooding but today he seemed odd - somehow.
The dark-haired vampire ran a hand through his hair realizing that he had done that a lot today. "I woke up from a dream," he began and then looked up for the first time. "I dreamt about the time of my awakening and about ... Darla."
"I see," Spike nodded understandingly. He was probably the only person in the world who could really understand what was going on with his grand-sire at the moment. Well, not exactly he thought. Spike had seen his sire die, while Angel had staked Darla. That was a big difference, something Spike was glad he didn't have to experience.
"No, you don't," came the reply and Spike's head snapped up. "Yesterday night," Angel continued, "I thought I felt her."
"Felt whom?"
"Darla," the dark-haired vampire looked him right into the eye. "I thought I felt Darla. Two times. It was more than weird."
Spike let out a laugh and shot his grand-sire a disbelieving glance, "I can relate to that. If I felt Dru, it would be more than weird. Are you 100% certain?"
"About feeling her, yeah," Angel nodded. "But the rest..." he trailed off shaking his head and giving his grand-childe a certain look.
"She is dead after all. Well, she was already dead but now she's dust, gone..." Spike stopped and held up a hand when he saw the growl building in the dark-haired vampire's throat. "Just wanted to be certain. I wasn't present when you drove the stake home."
"The bolt," Angel snapped.
"Excuse me?" his grand-childe was lost.
"It wasn't a stake. It was a bolt. I never told you, did I?" he took a deep breath and leaned back.
"No, but I know you staked ... sorry ... bolt-staked her to save the slayer's life. God that was something. When I heard about it I couldn't stop laughing. I thought you were so pathetic. Or my demon did, that is." He glanced towards the stairs, "Today I can understand you. I'd do the same in a heartbeat. But at that time ... well, I had to think about the times you two were together. You and Darla, I mean. You were inseparable and I thought yours was a love for eternity."
Angel shot him a surprised look and then a slow smile crept up his face.
"What?" Spike shot him a look. "That girl upstairs is important to me. I have a soul too, you know."
"I'm still getting used to this," his grand-sire replied. "And to the fact that I see you as a friend. For about 150 years you annoyed the hell out of me, it's not easy to break certain patterns."
"Yeah," the blond vampire nodded, still shocked at having heard the word "friend" from Angel's lips. But hell, he saw him as a friend too. Then it hit him, "That was the reason you talked to the watcher last night?"
"Yes," his grand-sire nodded and gave his grand-childe a quizzical look when he saw him release a breath. "Why?"
"Nothing," Spike made a dismissive gesture with his hand, but inwardly he released a breath. "And did the watcher come up with an explanation?"
"No," Angel shook his head. "It isn't really part of the watcher training to learn about vampire-feelings. He's going to look into his books though. But I fear he won't have much luck." He shook his head again, "First I thought it was just a weird feeling, but when it happened the second time I concentrated and it was true. It wasn't some fake, I really felt her." Again his hand went through his hair, hopefully this wasn't becoming a regular habit, "It was so real, it still throws me."
"As I said, I thought you two were meant for eternity," he suddenly shrugged, "but then there was a time a thought of me and Dru the same way. And it was before we got our souls back," he sighed, "Never mind. What did your slayer say?" he asked.
"She held my hand and tried to show me she understood. But of course that's..."
"...impossible," the blonde vampire finished his sentence. How could any human understand that kind of relationship.
Angel quickly glanced at him and the look they exchanged that moment was one of deep understanding. "And then Giles suggested maybe someone tried to arouse these feelings in me to get to Buffy through it."
An angry look appeared on Spike's features, "God that watcher sometimes has a big mouth."
"You can say that again," his grand-sire agreed. "As if she doesn't have enough going on around her already."
"You should've punched him the moment he opened his mouth. If he'd said that to my girl..."
"It's okay, Spike. The damage was done before I could say anything. So I tried to act as casual as possible afterwards, but she was different ... hell, of course she was different," he almost shouted and stood up. "I can clearly remember what I felt when I thought Alanna was going after her because of me."
"Calm down mate, the girl is tough," his grand-childe said. "She'll get through this."
"I know," Angel nodded and sat down again. "But she shouldn't have to."
"You're not trying to load the guilt on yourself again, are you? Because that'd be complete nonsense."
His grand-sire held up a hand, "No. I mean you're right. It wasn't what I meant. I know now that a vampire is probably the best choice for a slayer. If he has a soul, that is. With a human she would have to worry all the time. What I meant was that no girl of her age should have to carry such a great responsibility. Hell, Spike, she was only 15 when she was called and tried to shield her parents from what she had to face, because she thought they wouldn't be able to handle it. That's certainly not the way it should go."
"I agree," Spike leaned back. "But then look at Faith. I don't know if she ever told you about the details, but she had it pretty tough as a girl. For her the slaying was some kind of sanctuary. For the first time she wasn't the victim anymore but the hunter."
"So the slaying was good for Faith, but it certainly wasn't any kind of sanctuary for Buffy," Angel shot back, then took a deep breath. "Sorry. This still makes me angry. Then at 16 she falls in love with a vampire and on her 17th birthday he turns into his evil self."
"And she's still standing," Spike interrupted his grand-sire. "Peaches, that should tell you something. She's strong. She won't break. She's the strongest girl I've ever met. Because she's got all her friends, her watcher, her mom ... and not to forget you. Faith on the other hand..." he trailed off, but was certain Angel would catch what he'd meant by this.
And he did. Taking a deep unnecessary breath, his grand-sire stood up at last and looked at him, "Some blood for you too?"
*****
"I have never heard of something like this," Wesley said after Giles had finished telling him and Madeline about what had happened to Angel the night before.
"Neither have I," the female watcher opened a book that was laying in front of her. "But then nobody ever taught us about vampires that way. I still can't believe the council wasn't more interested in Angel. His story is so fascinating."
Giles exchanged a look with Wesley and then gazed at her, "I agree that his story is quite extraordinary as is the fact that he's in a long-time relationship with a slayer - one that is obviously working, but fascinating?"
"Well, it is," Madeline exclaimed. "Come on, Rupert. Don't look at me that way!"
"What way?" he glanced at her, irritated, taking his glasses off and rubbing the bridge of his nose.
She raised a brow, "You know what I mean. I haven't got a crush on him. I could be his elder sister."
"Hardly," Wesley said dryly.
"Well not in years but in looks anyway and it's totally not the point," she shot back. "But think about the possibilities of what could be learned from the inside of a vampire. A vampire who doesn't lie, who certainly had time to reflect about his life. Just think about it." It was pretty obvious that this subject excited her.
Giles grinned inwardly. She'd always been like that, one reason the council never placed her in active duty. Too emotional they'd said. Him, they'd always seen as the cool one and for that, the ideal watcher. What a joke. Smiling at Madeline he said, "You're free to ask Angel whatever you want. Or Spike for that matter. But can we now come back to the matter at hand. I know that you heard about Buffy and Angel, Madeline, whatever affects him affects her. It was one of the reasons I didn't like their relationship at first. But I too had to learn that in the end it was this relationship that gives her the strength to go on. So let's try to find an explanation for this."
When his two colleagues nodded, Giles gave them a smile, put his glasses back on and began to read.
... to be continued
Feedback? Please send it to Connemara.Scarlets@t-online.de or leave a review. Thanks for reading.
