Disclaimer: I don't own The Slayers, nor will I ever *pouts*. But, on with the fiction. (Note, Fiction, not real *mutters* unfortunately.) {Insert other legal crap, like don't sue~ you'll get…*leaves*…*returns* about $.50.}

Chinese Finger Trap

Lina, Gourry, Shipheel, Zelgadiss, Amelia, Filia, and Xelloss…

Val: Hey, what about me?

You'll come in later!

Val: Not cool…

You, shut up. Back to the story!

Val: Does this one have a plot?

Anyways, Lina, Gourry, Shipheel, Zelgadiss, Amelia, Filia, and Xelloss were walking through the woods. Lina hoped there would be bandits; Gourry was just walking along; Shipheel basked in dear Gourry's presence; Zelgadiss was thinking about his cure; Amelia was humming the opening to slayers next, very badly; Filia was worrying about whether Val would be ok; and Xelloss was plotting ways to kill the annoying princess. All in all, the group was normal, or as normal as they were going to get.

Lina: Hey, what's that supposed to mean?

Nothing, nothing… It was getting dark and they decided to set up camp…

Val: Cue creepy music…

Shut up Val…

Lina: I think we should camp on the right side of the road!

Xelloss: My right, or your right?

Lina: My right you moron!

Filia: Go, Lina!

Zelgadiss: Actually, I think Xelloss' right would be better…

Amelia: I agree with Mr. Zelgadiss!

Filia: Grrrrrr…
Gourry: Lina's right would make a better place to camp.

Filia: Exactly!

Shipheel: I agree with Gourry dear.

Lina: Well, I don't care what you think, we're camping here.

Xelloss: Oh, I didn't say I disagreed with you, I just asked which right.

Amelia: Let's go by majority.

Lina: Great. I still win.

Zelgadiss: Good move Amelia.

Amelia: You're so mean.

Zelgadiss: You just noticed that?

Lina: Stop arguing! Let's just set up camp, ok?

Gourry: Lina, I don't think we have enough tents…

They all got a good view of the ground before they plunged face first into it.

Val: Where have I heard that line before?

In another fanfic. Not written by me. Now, SHUT UP VAL!

Lina: Gourry, we went over this last night, the night before that, and the night before that, the night before that one…

Zelgadiss: We get the point Lina.

Lina: But I can go on!

Xelloss: Please do.

Lina: Anyways, girls sleep in one tent, boys in the other.

Zelgadiss: Lina, can't we sleep under the stars tonight?

Lina: Sure, EXCEPT, THERE ARE MISQUOTES, IT'S ABOUT 50 DEGREES OUT, WE DON'T KNOW THESE PARTS, WE'RE ALL TIRED SO NO ONE WILL BE STANDING GUARD…

Shipheel: Lina! Stop!

Xelloss: New record for words in one breath, while yelling, goes to Lina!

Lina: *mushroom thing* Zel, you never had in complaints before…

Xelloss: What exactly are you implying Lina?

Filia: XELLOSS! *whips out mace-sama* Die!

Zelgadiss: You sick bastard!

Gourry: I don't get it…

Lina: You wouldn't.

Shipheel: Don't be mean to Gourry dear!

Amelia: Miss Lina, what did he mean?

Filia: *beats Xelloss mercilessly with her mace until he's unconscious*

Lina: Guys, could you set up the tents? I'm going fishing.

Gourry: Ok Lina!

Zelgadiss: *Kicks Xelloss in the head while he can't hit him back* Just a second Lina, little busy here…

Amelia: Lina… What am I suppose to do?

Lina: You and Shipheel start a fire.

Xelloss: *wakes up* Oh Zelly!

Lina: Knock it off Xelloss. *leaves*

Xelloss: *muttering* She never lets me have any fun.

Filia: You don't deserve to have fun!

Xelloss: How do you figure that?

Filia: You are a dirty, evil, mean-spirited monster!

Xelloss: Now, now Filia. Remember how mad you got when they threw you in jail just because you were a Dragon?

Filia: Yes.

Xelloss: You are being mean to me just because I'm a demon!

Filia: It's different! And the jail thing was your fault!

Xelloss: It's not different, and we're not pointing fingers!

Amelia: Those two would make a great couple.

Shipheel: No, they wouldn't.

Filia: *whacks Amelia with mace-sama*

Amelia goes flying off, Zelgadiss blushes, and explains to Gourry how to put up a tent. Unfortunately, he couldn't grasp the concept and Shipheel did it for him. They all sat around the campfire and it was quiet…

Val: I can't believe it!

Lina isn't there.

Val: That must be it.

The silence doesn't last long. Xelloss makes a comment about how long Lina's been gone and he and Filia start arguing.

Xelloss: I was bored!

Anyways, it didn't stay silent for long, and then Lina returns…

Lina: *has fish above her head*

Gourry: Food!

Lina: *Drops fish in a pile near the /little/ fire*

Xelloss: Nice catch Lina! *holds fish bigger that him*

Fish person: Put me down!

Xelloss: This one's mine!

Fish Person: You can't eat me!

Xelloss: Wanna bet?

Filia: *Whacks him with mace-sama*

Xelloss: *drops fish person*

Fish person: *runs away*

Xelloss: Oh Filia, you're so good to me!

Amelia: *hold Filia so she can't give Xelloss any more brain damage*

Zelgadiss: Xelloss, Filia, stop flirting!

Gourry: *burp*

Lina: Gourry, don't tell me, YOU ATE ALL MY FISH!

Gourry: Well,

Lina: Did you even cook them?

Shipheel: Gourry dear…

Gourry: I was hungry!

Lina: Is there anything left?

Amelia: *looks around* No.

Xelloss: *bends down, picks something up*

Lina: *Jumps behind him* What is it Xel, is it food?

Xelloss: *opens big book of stuff* It's a Chinese finger trap. Not edible.

Lina: You sure?

Xelloss: Yep. *goes over to Gourry* Here, stick your finger in this end.

Gourry: Ok. *sticks finger in one end*

Xelloss: Ok, now Shipheel, stick your finger in this end…

Shipheel: Uhhhhh, ok… *sticks finger in the other end*

Lina: Uhhhh, Xelloss?

Filia: Xelloss, what are you planning?

Xelloss: Me? *innocent smile*

Gourry: *tries to pull away*

Xelloss: *whispers in Lina's ear*

Lina: Since I have nothing better to do… AMELIA, ZEL COME HERE!

Amelia: Miss Lina, you don't have to yell.

Zelgadiss: What now?

Lina: I heard a rumor that your cure was in a town down in the valley…

Zelgadiss: WHAT? TELL ME, TELL ME!

Lina: But, *yawn* I'm too tired, and there isn't any excellent food there so, I can wait until tomorrow to go…

Zelgadiss: I'll meet you all in the town tomorrow…

Lina: But won't you be lonely there, all alone?

Zelgadiss: If I must, I'll take…

Amelia: *stars in eyes*

Zelgadiss: Filia with me.

Amelia: But, but…

Zelgadiss: Come on Filia…

Filia: What?

Zelgadiss: Come on, we're going into the town.

Xelloss: Oh, don't go!

Filia: Anything to get away from him! *grabs Zel* Come on!
Amelia: Hey! WAIT FOR ME! *runs after them*

Gourry and Shipheel sit next to the /little/ fire trying to get their fingers apart. Xelloss stands above them laughing.

Val: When am I going to get here?

Soon, now shut up.

Lina: *looks at them* I'm going to bed.

Xelloss: I'll join you.

Gourry: W-W-W-What?

Shipheel: B-B-B-But…

Lina: *turns around, slowly* What did you say?

Xelloss: I'll join you! ^ . ^

Lina: Don't even think about it. I got rid of them not because you asked me to, so I could have the tent to myself!

Xelloss: But, won't you be lonely?

Lina: No. *enters tent* And if you follow me, I'LL FIREBALL YOUR ASS!

Xelloss: Ohhhh, she never lets me have any fun! - . -

Shipheel: Xelloss, how do you get this thing off?

Xelloss: That's a secret! ^ . ^ *enters boys' tent*