A/N: (at the beginning) So, I know the last chapters were confusing. They
were confusing to write. Ok *takes a deep breath* LINA WAS DREAMING. Um,
she dreamt about the whole Amelia thing. Once Amelia went to bed Lina
thought about the wedding and went to sleep. (And if I were a good writer I
wouldn't have to explain this.) and she woke up, screaming. And you should
know the rest. Did that clear everything up? No? Oh, well. Just write your
questions in your review. (Bwa ha ha ha ha ha! Tricked you into reviewing!)
Val: You're so pathetic.
Amelia and Gourry: O.O
Amelia: O.O We shouldn't watch.
Gourry: O.O
Amelia: O.O It's rude.
Gourry: O.O What's rude?
Amelia: O.O we should look away.
Amelia finally convinces herself to turn away from the show. Xelloss is still on top of Lina, only now he's stopped tickling her and.
Amelia: *slaps Gourry to make him stop watching*
Gourry: *looks into the fire*
Xelloss has Lina pined down between his legs. And Lina really isn't complaining. His fingers that were once tickling her to death were now wrapped around her. One of her hands was slipped up the back of his soft yellow turtleneck. The other was unintentionally messing up his thin hair.
Val: Hold on one second! We're actually suppose to believe that they are.
He noticed as he lowered his head to hers that she smelt like smoke from the fire, which fit her ruby eyes and wild hair.
Val: I thought this story was in script.
She licked her lips greedily and anxiously. As his face got closer and closer to hers she noticed his eyes flicker open for an instant. Instead of his usual smirk his smile was softer, so when the violet eyes focused on her she didn't fear for her life. She was.
Val: Stop! Please! *curls up in a little ball* Bad images, bad images.
He pressed his lips to hers.
Val: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!! The horror, the horror!
She didn't try to squirm away, she didn't try to fireball him, (both would be totally pointless anyway.) she did something totally unexpected.
Val: You only write well when you're being perverted.
*smack*
When Xelloss's lips touched hers, something snapped. She thrust her tongue into his mouth.
Val: O.O What?? You can't be serious!
With that they started in on a long exploring kiss. During which Lina repeatedly forgot she had to breath. Xelloss reminded her by pulling away and cooing into her ear.
Xelloss: Now, now my Lina-chan. Don't forget to breath, ne?
Lina took in a couple breaths then playfully bit his ear.
Val: *searches through the authoresses room* Come on, *digs through pile after pile of anime related merchandise* I know it's here somewhere.
Xelloss turned his head and captured her mouth in his. This time his tongue was first in her mouth. She slid her small hand up his shirt and stroked her back.
Val: *mumbling* How can she write this stuff? *continues his search* ****Now, I know you all are looking forward to what's going to happen. But, this is supposed to be a humor story, with a little romance on the side. Not the other way around! So, I've hit the hundredth page of this story. (yeah, a whole hundred pages long. Practically a novel.) And I'm going to give this story a much-needed commercial break!
Gavv: Hello! I'm here to tell you about an amazing product! It's called, Lime Clean!
Val: *mumbling* I can't believe I'm doing this. *fake happy voice* Lime Clean? What's that?
Gavv: You mean you don't know? Well, let me tell you about this amazing product! We take the freshest limes.
Screen shot of really fake plastic limes.
Val: *reading lines* Wow. Those look. really good.
Gavv: They certnlly do! We peel those limes and squeeze the lime oil out of the peels using a patented technique.
Screen shot of lime peels being bashed by sickly looking kids in a dirty factory.
Val: *eyes wide open in shock and unbelief*
Gavv: This product is guaranteed to clean anything!
Screen shot of Gavv trying to rub a stain off some white carpet using all his force, a scrub brush, and some Lime Clean after an obvious time lapse the stain is. half gone. After another time lapse you see a totally different piece of carpet.
Gavv: See how easily that stain came off!
Val: *still in total shock, muttering* I can't believe it.
Gavv: This can take any stain off anything!
Strange announcer dude: LimeCleancannottakeanystainoffanythingLimeCleanshouldnotbeusedonanythingcolo redanythingblackLimeCleanshouldntbeusedondecelateitemsnorshoulditbeusedonany articalsofclothngyoushouldnotuseLimeCleanifyouhavepetsyoushouldnotuseLimeCle anaroundchildrenortheelderalyyoushouldnotuseLimeCleanonanythingyouplantoeato ffofLimeCleanisnotresponsibleforanyinjuryordeaththatisaresultofusingLimeClea nLimeCleanwillprobablygooutofbusnessassoonasthisaddrunssodontexpectanyrefund sdonottrytosueLimeCleantheheadhonchosofthecompanywillgoundergroundwiththeirm illionsofdollarswhileeveryoneelsegetsscrewedoverdonottrytofindthesepeopleyou wontbeableto.
Val: That's just creepy.
Gavv: So order your bottle of Lime Clean today! You get a whole two, that's right, two whole ounces of Lime Clean for just $19.99! But wait! If you call within the next twenty minutes I'll through in a free lap dance from Val.
Val: Whaaaaat??!
Gavv: That's not all! With your second order of Lime Clean not only will you get another lap dance, but you'll also get a kiss! And not just one of those pecks on the cheeks either. You get the full ten-second French kiss!
Val: *muttering* Good thing no one in their right mind would ever even /consider/ buying this product.
Gavv: Just call 1-800-Lime-Clean. ^
^Not an actual phone number. Please do not call. No matter how desperate you are. You'll live without a lap dance and French kiss from Val. Really, you will. No. Put the knife down. Suicide is not the answer. Ack! Killing me is not the answer either! *Runs away screaming*
**** End commercial break.
Val: Thank the Gods that's over.
Awwww, you didn't enjoy it?
Val: sic her fan girls!
Fan Girls: *go after the authoress with evil looks in their eyes*
*while running for dear life* That's all folks! See ya next time.
Note: I updated chapter 19. Last time all of it wasn't loaded. Now it's complete. Go finish reading it if you didn't! Thank you.
Val: You're so pathetic.
Amelia and Gourry: O.O
Amelia: O.O We shouldn't watch.
Gourry: O.O
Amelia: O.O It's rude.
Gourry: O.O What's rude?
Amelia: O.O we should look away.
Amelia finally convinces herself to turn away from the show. Xelloss is still on top of Lina, only now he's stopped tickling her and.
Amelia: *slaps Gourry to make him stop watching*
Gourry: *looks into the fire*
Xelloss has Lina pined down between his legs. And Lina really isn't complaining. His fingers that were once tickling her to death were now wrapped around her. One of her hands was slipped up the back of his soft yellow turtleneck. The other was unintentionally messing up his thin hair.
Val: Hold on one second! We're actually suppose to believe that they are.
He noticed as he lowered his head to hers that she smelt like smoke from the fire, which fit her ruby eyes and wild hair.
Val: I thought this story was in script.
She licked her lips greedily and anxiously. As his face got closer and closer to hers she noticed his eyes flicker open for an instant. Instead of his usual smirk his smile was softer, so when the violet eyes focused on her she didn't fear for her life. She was.
Val: Stop! Please! *curls up in a little ball* Bad images, bad images.
He pressed his lips to hers.
Val: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!! The horror, the horror!
She didn't try to squirm away, she didn't try to fireball him, (both would be totally pointless anyway.) she did something totally unexpected.
Val: You only write well when you're being perverted.
*smack*
When Xelloss's lips touched hers, something snapped. She thrust her tongue into his mouth.
Val: O.O What?? You can't be serious!
With that they started in on a long exploring kiss. During which Lina repeatedly forgot she had to breath. Xelloss reminded her by pulling away and cooing into her ear.
Xelloss: Now, now my Lina-chan. Don't forget to breath, ne?
Lina took in a couple breaths then playfully bit his ear.
Val: *searches through the authoresses room* Come on, *digs through pile after pile of anime related merchandise* I know it's here somewhere.
Xelloss turned his head and captured her mouth in his. This time his tongue was first in her mouth. She slid her small hand up his shirt and stroked her back.
Val: *mumbling* How can she write this stuff? *continues his search* ****Now, I know you all are looking forward to what's going to happen. But, this is supposed to be a humor story, with a little romance on the side. Not the other way around! So, I've hit the hundredth page of this story. (yeah, a whole hundred pages long. Practically a novel.) And I'm going to give this story a much-needed commercial break!
Gavv: Hello! I'm here to tell you about an amazing product! It's called, Lime Clean!
Val: *mumbling* I can't believe I'm doing this. *fake happy voice* Lime Clean? What's that?
Gavv: You mean you don't know? Well, let me tell you about this amazing product! We take the freshest limes.
Screen shot of really fake plastic limes.
Val: *reading lines* Wow. Those look. really good.
Gavv: They certnlly do! We peel those limes and squeeze the lime oil out of the peels using a patented technique.
Screen shot of lime peels being bashed by sickly looking kids in a dirty factory.
Val: *eyes wide open in shock and unbelief*
Gavv: This product is guaranteed to clean anything!
Screen shot of Gavv trying to rub a stain off some white carpet using all his force, a scrub brush, and some Lime Clean after an obvious time lapse the stain is. half gone. After another time lapse you see a totally different piece of carpet.
Gavv: See how easily that stain came off!
Val: *still in total shock, muttering* I can't believe it.
Gavv: This can take any stain off anything!
Strange announcer dude: LimeCleancannottakeanystainoffanythingLimeCleanshouldnotbeusedonanythingcolo redanythingblackLimeCleanshouldntbeusedondecelateitemsnorshoulditbeusedonany articalsofclothngyoushouldnotuseLimeCleanifyouhavepetsyoushouldnotuseLimeCle anaroundchildrenortheelderalyyoushouldnotuseLimeCleanonanythingyouplantoeato ffofLimeCleanisnotresponsibleforanyinjuryordeaththatisaresultofusingLimeClea nLimeCleanwillprobablygooutofbusnessassoonasthisaddrunssodontexpectanyrefund sdonottrytosueLimeCleantheheadhonchosofthecompanywillgoundergroundwiththeirm illionsofdollarswhileeveryoneelsegetsscrewedoverdonottrytofindthesepeopleyou wontbeableto.
Val: That's just creepy.
Gavv: So order your bottle of Lime Clean today! You get a whole two, that's right, two whole ounces of Lime Clean for just $19.99! But wait! If you call within the next twenty minutes I'll through in a free lap dance from Val.
Val: Whaaaaat??!
Gavv: That's not all! With your second order of Lime Clean not only will you get another lap dance, but you'll also get a kiss! And not just one of those pecks on the cheeks either. You get the full ten-second French kiss!
Val: *muttering* Good thing no one in their right mind would ever even /consider/ buying this product.
Gavv: Just call 1-800-Lime-Clean. ^
^Not an actual phone number. Please do not call. No matter how desperate you are. You'll live without a lap dance and French kiss from Val. Really, you will. No. Put the knife down. Suicide is not the answer. Ack! Killing me is not the answer either! *Runs away screaming*
**** End commercial break.
Val: Thank the Gods that's over.
Awwww, you didn't enjoy it?
Val: sic her fan girls!
Fan Girls: *go after the authoress with evil looks in their eyes*
*while running for dear life* That's all folks! See ya next time.
Note: I updated chapter 19. Last time all of it wasn't loaded. Now it's complete. Go finish reading it if you didn't! Thank you.